Moving Forward Poll (Patreon)

Hi!! If you're still here, thanks for sticking around.

If you want a story time on my life, keep reading. TLDR: I spent majority of 2025 planning to move to The Netherlands only to sell my house and not actually leave the country. Are you a photographer wanting to learn and grow or simply a fan of my work? I want to know who I'm talking to. Answer below via the Poll

Story time: So when things were getting real (shitty) in January (well, more so November 5th) in the USA, my husband and I convinced ourselves that we needed to leave the country. By April, we convinced ourselves we needed to sell our custom built home we had been in since 2021. We were supposed to visit Europe in May - that didn't happen due to poor planning.

We listed our house mid-June. We didn't know the housing market was already going downhill - turning into a buyers market. Our house was priced at $650k so out of majority of people's budget. We had showings and 1 low offer which we said no to. During this time, planning and deep diving into moving to The Netherlands is what I did with 80% of my free time. I was stepping away from shooting and planning to turn my studio into an hourly rental studio because I'm in a 5yr lease with 3 years left.

As we got closer to late July, house still hadn't sold and I was sad. Renting our house wasn't an option due to our insane HOA. Around this time, Melise (my sister & long time studio makeup artist & assistant) decided she wanted to officially take on an associate photographer position. So the studio rental idea was out the window and we started booking clients again for Mel only.

Around the same time, I was tired of dreaming of The Netherlands so we decided to book a 10 day trip there in Mid-August. We took our 3yr old with us and she literally hated it. That's the first thought that comes to mind when remembering our trip. She wouldn't eat anything because the food looked different, she asked to go home 1-3 times per day, she screamed, she cried, she brought up missing family. She just seemed different - a sad version of her normal self. We've gone on plenty of other trips with her in the US & Bahamas, and she has never asked to go home. I cried majority of the trip because I knew my months of planning was a waste. I knew I wouldn't be able to make the move because of the heavy weight of mom guilt. I knew I wouldn't have the courage to pull her from her family and let her forget everything she has ever known. & I can guess what you're thinking "what about school shootings? what about health care?" Yeah I know. I wish we could have it all. & our house - we got an offer day 2 of the trip. We were so worried about being trapped there (in our home), we sold it. I cried almost every day leading up to our close date. The emotional attachment to not only a home we built, but the home we raised our baby in was heavy. It still is. But don't worry too much guys - I was more than tired of seeing the Trump flag through our back window.

So that's why I've been so MIA . I planned for almost 8 months to leave the country and for now, we've decided to stay here with our family. I hate everything that's happening here. It's scary and not normal at all. I feel guilty for having the resources to leave for a better life and not doing it. It's hard either way - staying or leaving. Everyone has tried to give me advice and encourage me to leave, but it's truly the family aspect with our daughter. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives of The Netherlands, but I won't.

We're in a rental now, house hunting for somewhere that allows renting should we still want/need to leave at some point. What is so funny is that we sold our house for $635k and we can't even afford a house at that price point. All I want is a home again for my daughter and for her to be safe and happy. I want that for everyone. So I'm still distracted from work constantly checking Zillow and seeing ugly houses with fucked foundations for $500k. It's so great.

So what else am I doing?! I'm still not taking clients for myself. I want to focus on helping other photographers in the industry not close their doors. I know things have gotten harder, but my studio is kicking ass still. Ads are the answer to "How?" if you're wondering.

So are you here to learn something new or just to admire the work? Either way, I'm happy you're here and I hope you're doing well. Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for neglecting everything but my personal life.