Growing into the Job, Post 614: Milk Supply, p2 (Patreon)

+++Link to Milk Supply, p1+++

The dishwasher hummed softly in the kitchen…

There we go - the rest of the turkey’s in the fridge. That’s all the leftovers, packed away!

Rosie stood at the sink in a blue henly top. She pushed her sleeves to her elbows. Ben wandered in carrying two coffee mugs. 

Everything was so good honey. Even with the baby, and you being so busy, you really outdid yourself this year. 

Really??

She smiled to herself, eyeing the coffee mugs to make sure they were emptied, and rinsed the carving knife one last time. 

Yeah. I think my dad had thirds of the mashed potatoes.

She looked over her shoulder

He liked them?

He loved them. My mom asked for the recipe.

I know.

Rosie practically bounced on her toes.

I know!

You…look way more excited than you should.

I just...I like feeding people.

That made Ben pause. He handed her one of the mugs.

Well, you totally knocked it out of the park today.

Everything??

For sure. Everything. The gravy? So good. But yeah the turkey too, The rolls and-

The rolls? The pumpkin pie??

My cousin Mike had two slices.

Rosie closed her eyes for a second, looking absurdly pleased.

Oh..!

What?

Nothing!

What? Why are you laughing!

I just...that makes me really happy!

I never knew you liked cooking so much, babe. You've really been glowing all day.

I know.

Rosie looked down at herself almost bashfully.

I feel...useful.

You've always been useful.

No. I mean...different. I can actually provide now.

You've always, uhm…cooked for us.

I know, but...

She rested a hand lightly against the front of her sweater.

It's different now.

He noticed the gesture. Ever since Lily had been born - and especially since she’d started the therapies at the clinic in that new medical center - Rosie's milk supply had become almost absurd. Their daughter never wanted for anything. Neither, increasingly, did he. At first it had embarrassed him. Now Rosie treated it almost like discovering she'd learned another language. She genuinely loved it. Loved pumping. Loved freezing it. Loved filling bottles. Loved seeing the freezer stocked. Loved nursing their daughter and now, in the dark comforts of their bed…

It made him shiver and her happy in a way Ben still didn't fully understand. He watched her slide one hand under the weight of one massive breast. They seemed to be bigger every day. 

R-Rosie…what are you saying? Why is it ‘different now’?

So...Ben…

Oh my god, Rosie…

…I used some today. 

No.

I cooked with it.

Silence. Ben stared at her.

The mashed potatoes. The rolls. The casserole. The pumpkin pie filling. And in the coffee. 

Abruptly, he put the second mug down on the counter. His father had drank from that one. 

It made everything so creamy!

Rosie!!

What?

You...You served my family…my parents...

She nodded.

...your breast milk?!?

Yeah! I just replaced it in the recip-

Y-you’re saying it l-like…like you switched from butter to olive oil! 

Oh c'mon! It wasn't like I poisoned anyone! I made the food healthier.

B-but..!

But what? It’s literally meant for feeding people.

I know what it's meant for…

So...

She spread her hands. She turned to her husband, pushing out the fullness of her gravid chest. She saw how his eyes dropped to them.

...I fed people.

You fed my family!!

I really don’t understand why this bothers you. I have so much extra, I hate throwing it away.

You never throw it away! You freeze it, you donate some, y-you feed L-Lily…

And…?

…

…and I feed you. 

R-Rosie…

C’mon. You know you love it, you love when I let you suckle, you love nursing from me, you love when I feed you. Tonight I got to feed everybody else.

That’s-…! That’s…R-Rosie!!

Oh, are you jealous, Ben? <giggle!> You want me all to yourself, is that it?

N-no! I mean - no, that’s not it!

Then what is it? I make more than enough now to feed everyone. I could feed the whole block!

Pride, triumph, and simple, overflowing satisfaction, like a gardener might feel after harvesting vegetables - it was all there in her voice. 

I loved watching everyone eat. They all looked so happy. It makes me feel like I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to. It’s like when I nurse Lily, or when I nurse you…

But…Rosie…those were my c-cousins. M-my Dad!!

It’s okay. I told your mom. 

You wh-what?!

This afternoon. While the turkey was resting. And she was…curious.

C-curious??

So I told her.  That some of the recipes were…mine. Me. Had my…special ingredient. 

And? Wh-what did she say??

She asked a lot of questions. About you. 

About me?!?

About you and me. And I told her about Far Horizons.

Rosie..!

She wanted to know if they really helped as much as I’d said. And you know your dad really loved the mashed potatoes. You said he had thirds. 

I know. Sh-she…she asked me for the recipe!!

She told me later that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him enjoy a meal that much.

And then??

She asked whether Far Horizons was taking new patients. In the Maternal Optimization Clinic. 

…my mom?!?

I told her probably.

For…???

She knows she can’t have babies anymore, obviously. But she’s wondering…if…if inducing lactation later in life is possible.

Oh god - w-why would she want to-?

Rosie smiled, as though the answer were obvious.

She said she’d like taking care of people that way.

His expression froze.

She said your dad still works too hard. She worries he skips breakfast. She thought…

A little shrug.

…maybe she’d like having something that was hers to provide again. Like she used to with you. 

The kitchen suddenly felt quieter as Ben flushed red. He pictured his mother - straightforward, sometimes reserved but funny. Probably very pretty in her younger days, as a young curvy mom, when she would hold h-

He wasn’t about to go there. She was his mom. Practical, but  someone who he knew liked to keep up with the trends. Somehow she’d sat through dinner, watched Rosie beam every time someone complimented the food, watched her nephews clean their plates…and her son…her husband…eating…

Ben - you’re upset.

I don’t know if upset is the right word.

What is it?

I thought this was…just us.

The ANR? The nursing? You and me? Oh, honey, no…women all over are talking about how good it feels, how much it helps be their marriages. Women are going to the clinics, couples are doing therapies together. 

Ben was quiet. She’d talked about doing therapy, with a doctor at Far Horizons. He didn’t want to. It sounded weird. 

Your mom just wants to try it.

With my dad?!

I told her I’d help her. Help her get started. 

Ben’s mind reeled. This was spreading?? Yes, it was - from kitchen tables, women’s groups, conversations, and quiet recommendations between women who trusted one another. And that thought unsettled him far more than anything that had been served for dinner.

It’s okay, sweetie, it’s okay. Your mom, and me - we’ll…well, it just feels nice taking care of everybody. 

S-so my mom…you told her? She knows what we…do? She knows that w-we…?

That I nurse you? Yes. 

Oh my god, Rosie…

Honey, shhh…it’s okay. She loved telling me about how you and she used to do it together, when you were little. How it felt to hold you in her arms. She wishes she did it longer, kept it up, didn’t wean you so early. She thinks that if she did you wouldn’t be so…

So…what?

So obsessed with them. With boobs. 

Jesus what d-?

Oh, shush. Relax. She sees how you look at them - even how your dad looks at them, at mine - and she knows why. It was my chest that made you notice me, I know that, why you were attracted to me. Now, hand me that platter over there…

…

Dutifully, she cleans the platter in the sink. China, too nice to go in the dishwasher.

Mmm, that was such a wonderful Thanksgiving, wasn’t it? Now, how about another glass, before bed? It’s nice and warm. Warm milk before bed…full tummy, sweetie…

She sees - he does not want the milk. She turns to him. She dries her hands, reaches for him, down. 

…!

Oh, my, Ben…you’re so hard down here. 

…nnngh.

I can take you out right here, with my hand, as you drink your milk  Or…would you rather wait, for bed, so I can nurse you again? 

…oh…y-yuhh…

Use your words, sweetie.

…yes, please. 

Good boy.

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