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Hesse, Jacques and Max join us for some holiday fun on today’s episode. After some fruitful discussion of Mr. Beast’s plan to rent out the Great Pyramids of Giza, we turn to a perennial favorite: Dear Prudie. What to do when a busty neighbor jogs lustily in front of your children? What if your wife shits too much? Your home invader’s child is now in your pre-school class? Answers to all these questions plus granma’s chicken wings all in today’s show.

Hesse is performing at Singer’s Bar on January 15th!

Jacques & Friends have a show at the Lodge Room in LA on Feb. 12th!

Special Treat for Seeking Derangements subscribers dropping on their Patreon on Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements

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Comments

NYCM&AHole

the twelve days of slopsmas

Gooch Immane

Twelve globs a-jiggling, eleven lumps a-wobbling, ten chunks a-toppling, nine hunks a-plopping, eight ok fuck it nevermind

EnKaff

Pass

Mac daddy

Tbh sometimes I really don't enjoy the SD eps but shit im dying at Jacques' Mohammed Morrissey. Banger

Luggi

Pass u

Feedbag

Jacques really blossoms when he’s made fun of 40% less than usual

Declan Kennedy

Dear Prudie feat. Seeking Derangements, an early Christmas gift, nay, miracle

Uso Dayo

Shout out to Gordon Chang. RIP

triplevalaska

I listened to half. Just a bad as you think. These guys belong on bravo tv no I'm my ears. It sucks

Dick Must Bust

Isn’t Mr Beast exploring pyramids exactly how The Fifth Element starts?

Shiv

Grey wolves don’t forget to tell your GFs, “nice jugs ya fuckin idiot” this holiday season

Terry Buckley

Revoking Felix's lifter card for saying that belts are supposed to protect your back

Kvvvy

"semi ferral evil woman" there's the felix one liner this ep

Evysaurus

Mr. Beast showed up in my dream a few weeks ago and I haven’t been able to shake this hollow horrific feeling. Keep this man far from our beautiful relics lost to time!

Thomas Mullane

This episode is a true Christmas gift. I laughed the whole time. Hesse is a national treasure, and getting to hear him talk about Mr. Beast being entombed in Gaza and people leaving tribute is exactly what I needed to hear today. You guys are the best.

Zach H.

Couldn’t get Stavvy baby back on to promote his movie I see.

Nah

A new entry in the "thousand island stare" canon

Tim O'

When Will is laughing hard, he'll start to taper off, do this little "aahhh," and then burst out laughing again. Always makes me smile 🙂

Steven

I would TRIPLE my subscription if they used more live Grateful Dead as transition music. That FOTM put a big smile on my face

Brent

I have listened to the episode, and I accept this invasion

Horseloverfat

Montanan here. We need Kamala to do a “do not come” style press conference here at the Idaho border.

RubbishBinMan

Peak Jacques. When he heard smothered and immediately went to gravy. Perfect

Henry

Loved hearing Fire on the Mountain. Wonder if it's from the show where they played in front of the pyramids lol

Drew

Y'all have really been getting visceral with the episode images lately lol

Matthew

Just look at that marbling

Drew

Will excitedly explaining Sheridan vs Sutter to Jacques like your little nephew bombarding you with Five Nights at Freddy's lore at Christmas

Myrmec

Ugh annoying guests

ploob

You shall not pass! (for hetero)

ploob

Thank gawd Jacques doesn't know how guns work 😮‍💨

Anomalie

omg an ep feat. seeking derangements on my birthday?! thank you! 💖

inspectah mossadegh

Pretty sure I heard Chris play fire on the mountain at about 16:00

Rick Slot

Thank you Chris for a VERY heady Grateful Dead drop!

lake

It’s only bad if you don’t like gay people

NobleStrings

jacques might be the funniest chapo guest of all time

Clarp Blarpkiss

The obvious solution to the last one is to only buy food for grandma until the rest of the family backs you up. They can either shut her up, or they can eat. Their stomachs will lead them to the truth.

hamburglar

He is so special. It’s like if a hyper neurotic dog could talk

hamburglar

Lmao came here to note the Jordan Chang callout

hamburglar

Felix’s incredible pronunciation of “nacelle” as “nasal”

Uso Dayo

You from Sydney? Gordan Chang getting killed was huge news when I was a kid

Gabe P

I was wondering if it was about meet cute…

NYCM&AHole

Seriously. I guess he thinks they clean them with nasal spray

Travis

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 42 seconds

Ian Szabo

Does Jacques have wet-brain syndrome? They sound drunk at all times

floppy md

*periodt intensifies*

Ricardo Pleasure

what the fuck?! i had my gallbladder removed like 2 months ago and i'm already over the digestion issues. how can someone have their gallbladder removed for YEARS and still be having diarrhea 5-6 times a day and shit themself frequently and their spouse is repulsed by them and they're like "this is fine, i don't need to see a doctor or change anything."

R K

meet the cube

Jack

Theyre drinking two tall boys of whole milk per day. No one can stand up to that

Tim

I love SD, but whenever they come on Will is reduced to something akin to a daycare worker trying to corral unruly toddlers.

Gorgatron888

Ugggh. We get it Will, you have wacky friends. Too bad only their IG page is funny.

T

Chapo Breeding Series

J

That’s due to medicine

Will

Why are the wackest guests also the most recurring?

MCL

Trigger warning: The Grateful Dead play at about 15 minutes in for anyone avoiding flashbacks

Spencer

Jacques RELEASE THE DABS EPISODE

Alex

it's ok to be wrong like this

ploob

Deamn, Jacques still got it!

Adam

Egypt 78 is such a sick pull. Good work Chris

Cody

Best episodes

Pancy Nelosi

Grateful Dead more like Grateful Head. 🙏👌🙂‍↕️

Kyle Doeden

I've always thought doctors from Hong Kong have English Bulldog names; Allister, Winston etc, so it's good to have that validated here lol.

Ellie

That part killed me, I loved it

Ellie

Chicken wings for the diva

Shannon

“i am a casual millionaire from texas” -charlie kelly

Randy

Jacques my king with the goldeneye 64 reference 🫡

Nick Robinson

Sick 78' egypt fire. Jerry found the secrets

Bryan

Literally. Instant skip.

Bryan

💯

Elizabeth

That girl who wants the cowboy millionaire should hit up Utah. Nothing but cybertrucks and trads out here

nogo

Yoshi

They're messy and I love them for it

T33ny

This Cajun is prepared for the Tony roast

Greasy_Jones

Morrisey is absolutely Muslim; There is a light that never goes out, and that light is Islam

Ian Priest

This Charming Man (The Prophet Muhammed, peace be upon him)

Ben Thelen

Haven't listened yet but that cube is definitely wagyu and excited for what that portends

Kinetics Video

The other hogs complaining is great slop seasoning

Savannakhet

Frankly Mister Shankly (You should convert to Islam)

Ben

Lmfaooooooooo

Ben

The Muslim brotherhood bit holy shit I’m dying

Bill Bush

'The classic Mexican standoff between two autistic guys' Solid fucking gold

eduard karpoev

Idk why everyone is complaining. I as a homophobe find these episodes hilarious

jay alan

S/o meat cube

Caitlin-Kangaroo

My favourite chaotic people, Seeking Derangements. ❤️ Makes my queer self so happy.

Ben Thelen

Meat Cube and the Crime of Chicken: Morning in America

Cyn

I never skip the intro

tysonw81

Oh, fuck, these episodes are awful. There's a certain kind of straight audience that enjoys--albeit good naturedly--gay guys being performatively gay. Their enjoyment is mostly genuine but it's such an easy audience: they are absolutely primed to find anything said by these quirky, queeny bitches HYSTERICAL--gay men are SO FUNNY! Seriously, just go to a gay bar and strain to overhear the conversation between any group of friends talking in a convivial if not particularly brilliant or original way and you could be equally delighted on almost any night.

TLT

Jaques may be the unintentionally funniest person alive period

MKIltraTime

I can’t believe Jacques thinks the Louisiana version of Grindr is Andouille and not Poboy

Schwartz666

There's also a certain kind of straight audience--albeit unnecessarily--who are just haters.

syd

Tyson it's okay to skip episodes❤️

tysonw81

I'm wholly and unrepentantly gay, dumbshit. I could't love cock more. It's just fucking embarrassing and tedious to hear others being laughed at and idolizec for no other reason than that they

tysonw81

're gay. Albeit I am a little drunk.

tysonw81

Christ on the cross, what makes people post shit like this? I criticized something you like--deal with it. Yes, it's okay to "skip episodes" or "change the channel" it's also completely within the realm of the possibility to comment on those things and I can do so if I please. Why bother commenting if what I said is underserving of a response? Tedious.

Stinkamus

What’s with this drunken reprobate

lance

PERIODT

lance

you seem as mentally ill as Jacques lol

tysonw81

That's debatable. Most notably, however, I do not consider my every utterance to be amusing or interesting because I am a homosexual male nor have I cultivated the necessary audience to take advantage of it.

James H

The Pro-Ana talk was giving off hard red scare lol

Dildo Saggins

The dear prudence about the home invader sounds like the plot of a movie from the early 2000s where there would be a montage of J Lo punching a speedbag

Matelda

If a guy turned his life around and stopped invading homes, the problem is already solved. Ask him to talk about it on career day

Stinkamus

This guy is too drunk to know what’s going on, it’s very weird and sad. Shouldn’t your friends try to talk you out of this type of shit instead of laughing about your wet brain replies on a show?? Not to be a wet blanket

K H

Prestiged the ekg machine. My god.

Woke Batou

Muslim Butterhood -Jacque's party

Tucci

egypt fire on the mountain such a banger

Luisa

We love you, Jacques!

absoluteboi

i made it through 11 minutes, new record for a seeking derangements episode! 💪

AKorgar

Hey pal I must be more woke than you because I think your sexual interests have nothing to do with how boring or uninteresting what you say is

etienne

cowboy girl's problem seems pretty easy to solve, just buy a Miata then find a backroad in front of a farm and get a flat tire and then if a big enough F250 stops to help just show him your underwear

Tim O'

Blood for the blood god

Schwartz666

Totally agree. SD boys draw out the chaos in Will & Felix as well. Loudest I heard Felix laugh in awhile.

absoluteboi

working on my pain tolerance

Podcast subscriber 78

Made it to 19:03 before coming to look for comments like this. It’s just so bad. This shit reminds me of when my wife watches “The Try Guys” YouTube show without headphones in. All of the various noises.

Podcast subscriber 78

As a complainer, it’s also fascinating to see people care enough to defend this. Seeking arrangements ft. Jack or whatever truly are the most polarizing chapo guests of all.

absoluteboi

the whole "pretend dumb" bit was played out when i was in middle school

Lorean Martin

Love this guest combo. I grin like a pure idiot.

Chris

No disrespect but if you don't think this episode is funny maybe comedy isn't for you

Chris

Andouille, the gay cajun dating app lmao

RubbishBinMan

what the fuck are you talking about

Johan Stefonski

My boy Jaques was sharp as a tack today. Effervescent.

Peri

You might not consider your every utterance to be amusing but you sure as shit consider every opinion you have to be worthy of a comment, eh?

Robin

God these guys are annoying and dumb but I’ll listen anyways it’s fine thanks for the slop👍

Peri

***revert 🙏

Peri

Love hearing Hesse’s lovely voice back again on the Chapo network 🫶🫶

Khemith

Listen now, cringe later.

Khemith

A busty jogger? YOU JACK IT !OF COURSE!

Chris

Love the idea of "exposing" a big titty jogger like the entire neighborhood doesn't already know. Local husbands begging for that video to be uploaded

Elai Kehler

Meat cube almost caused a car crash because i was laughing too hard

hailey

the last 20 minutes of this is some of the funniest podcasting I’ve heard in years. love the SD eps, keep em coming, they bring me joy and the complainers are hilarious <3

Ham Stroker’s Jackula

How do you post on a Seeking Derangements Episode and still come across as dumber than Jacques off his tits on oxys and fried catfish?

Shadow Cabal

Or maybe 🤔 SD is just 👀 really funny 🕵️‍♀️

Shadow Cabal

I never read the comments on one before…very weird amount of dislike lol 😂 probably just simply to do with their style of humor 👀

MATT TRIANO

Annoying. You forgot that descriptor.

Dixie normus

Inshallah Mr beast will get stuck in the pyramids nutty putty style

Eli

Love this gas leak style of humor

Daffy

I'm with Tyson. I grew up with loud people. It's annoying when their laughs are that fucking loud. I work nights at a bar. When coworkers have to repeat themselves around your laughter two things are immediately true. One is nobody laughs that loud unless they are showing off, and two is that it's never that fucking funny. Honestly. Y'all think it's THAT hilarious, you should go out more.

Judy

Which song was playing ag the end, do you know?

Andrew Fedje, Conduit of Corn

She's gonna shit herself to death by 32. Just wait it out and play the widow card into getting whoever you want afterwards.

Daffy

Please. Comedy? Comedy is a written art form. This is more like improv. Probably why some people completely hate it.

Lindsay R

Crime of Chicken, Jacques? What’s next, Crime of Mushroom??? 🥣

Reece Coren

love when Seeking Derangements is on!!!! Jacques makes me laugh so hard I crack up when Hesse bullies him. missed you Ben!

——

Oh no, don’t pull back the chamber of the revolver.

Casey D

he’s not drunk at all lmaooo

Cesar C

Comedy is a written art form🤓

tapwaterskeptic

“jontron mentioned on chapo in 2024” I’m one step closer to hitting the most audacious parlay of all time.

Steve D

I don’t even want to think about what would happen if that jogger was 100’ and I somehow became lodged in her lululemon high impact sports bra!

TJ

Men in Montana kill and eat cats for fun

TJ

OR they drive Subaru and have never cut their toenails in their entire life

Eric French

I genuinely almost choked on my lunch

Degrassi Knoll

59:00 ish - in case you have low tolerance for the ep that minute or so was funny af

Equality State Of Mind

The "home invasion" was 100% an aborted drunken hookup. She broke up with her boyfriend 2 days later? Come on. This was absolutely her fault. They pulled into her driveway, dude's like, "Whose truck is that? Oh, wait- Wha- You have a fucking boyfriend? You need to drive me back right now!"

Alex “WORLDWIDE” Kellar

Getting your gallbladder removed is no joke, it’s like learning to walk again (only replace “walk” with “hit a Chinese buffet without blast-leaking hell out your ass”)

Steven Medge

I was upset that they passed over the fact that she broke up with the guy who saved her a few days after the event

Equality State Of Mind

Yeah, I think the boyfriend kicked her out. Because she brought a guy home that he then had to fight.

tysonw81

It's a primed audience waiting to laugh on cue when those clever, queeny gay men--they're so adorable!-- say something the audience knows should be funny. It's really not that complicated. It's not a condemnation but it's no different from a white audience waiting for black entertainers to say something "jivey" so they can clap themselves on the back for how hip and accepting they are.

tysonw81

You try and hide it behind being "funny" and dismissive but no one would have responded if they did not find some truth to my comment or even worse were personally hurt by someone not liking what you do. The former are too committed to contrarianism and posting online. The latter--I mean this genuinely for their own good-- should get over it.

tysonw81

Overall, it's harmless. Everyone naturally, and for good reason, considers what they're good friends have to say interesting and entertaining. The personal lives of those we care about , no matter how ordinary, should be of interest to us . Unfortunately for themselves, even, there are those who are too maladapt to know how to fit in to the conversation naturally. Getting loud and boisterous they think is one way to make what they say of interest to the others. Sometimes this can be true of a group as well.

Shane

Hesse and Ben doing Jacques accent is always so funny.

I am become reply guy

Imagine grandma loudly sucking on bones with prehensile chimp lips for an entire meal and wondering if you should stick around.

Craig

Fire episode. Certified hood classic. Also, that dude needs to stop buying food for his gf's family. They clearly don't appreciate him

Man2quilla

Jacques is a treasure

Matttttttt

Chaos muppet Jacques

Gooch Immane

"It's untidy, and freedom's untidy," [Rumsfeld] said, jabbing his hand in the air. "Free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things. They're also free to live their lives and do wonderful things."

Feedbag

Nietzsche’s “untimely meditations” but in the comments section of a podcast. Such polemics!!

Hom

Egypt '78

THEKILLERWHALE

Damn, this is a dramatic cross examination ass reveal. I would never have thought of this.

Stinkamus

You don’t know it but this is actually my last straw and I will be killing myself because of this

Stinkamus

I don’t think this is true, these dudes are just saying 1:1 equivalents of straight guy banter, I think this is projection. I find the slurring guy offensively unfunny, which has nothing to do with him being gay

Stinkamus

If he’s not drunk what is he? That’s not a healthy human brain- he misinterprets half of everything and shouts out nonsense, which is what one does when they’re belligerently drunk

Hick Rhodes

Very happy to hear a surprise Fire on the Mountain.

Joe Halloran

Dear Prudence, I'm married to Adriana Lacerva

Feedbag

He’s not drunk. It’s called “delectable behavior therapy”

Hamburgler

MR.CHAPO. I BOUGHT 2 HATS FROM YOUR SHOP ON NOVEMBER THE 29TH AND THEY HAVE APPARENTLY NOT SHIPPED YET. YOU HAVE RUINED CHRISTMAS MR. CHAPO.

JP

I too indulge in Smooth Shrek mindset.

Reece Coren

Felix bursting out laughing every time Jacques opens his mouth is killing me! 🤣

Bradlei Smith

Are there heads in our midst 👀

ttypes

Big Dick Dag Is A Milkshake Duck 😔

Wyatt the Wallaby

Jacque parading through the street upon his mighty meat cube holding a pike with grandmas head fixed to its tip

Zach H.

The idea of Mr Beast having a Geraldo style Al Capone’s Vault moment at the pyramids and it ends his popularity does make me smile

danny

stav’s schedule fucked them over again

Tim Bednar

Fun fact- after their discussion of Diddy/Kanye/etc. Trying to rent out the pyramids, the musical interlude is the Grateful Dead's "Fire on the Mountain." The GD famously played the pyramids in 1978. It is said that across the far reaches of the desert, where the lights from the show just barely reached, one could see wild travelers, pilgrims of the desert, who had come to dance and partake in the experience.

Sean Enright

Who is Max? He’s really funny but I never hear him on SD.

Ksizzle

used to be a staple member/founder i think in the early days, now he edits and guest appears time to time

Ksizzle

Lets ignore the fact that improv is the most common form of comedy and a part of actually realizing written work. Isnt every single chapo episode improv’ing? With will loosely keeping it on track

Ksizzle

We’re not laughing with jaquese because he’s gay. They’re laughing because his life and the how he thinks is insane and absurd. The phenomenon you describe exists, but its not here brother

Miles_B

This shit lol

Ceruleania

I almost skipped it when I saw they were on, but I’m trying to suffer through it lol

Ceruleania

These are my least favorite guests. Painfully unfunny and trying way too hard.

Martin Lightgold

SD are the best guests, people saying they suck are smoking CRACK!

Sean

SD are god tier guests. That is all.

The Pissler

I read this when I was only ten minutes into the ep and I couldn’t have possibly guessed how this would make sense at that point

The Pissler

It’s yarmulke time hahaha

Char

Did I catch a Dead at the pyramids music bump in there?

Kgrl128

There is nothing more hilarious than Felix's laughter-cackle 🤣🤣

absoluteboi

cheers mate, you're braver than the troops. lemme know if i missed anything of substance, or at the very least an actually funny exchange

Caesaro

Jacques is super annoying and his dumb routine (hoping it’s just a schtick) gets old fast

Sean Enright

Oook heard that name. And he picks their sick music too right? I’m a late subscriber haha

Ceruleania

no it’s just actually bad. The bravo comment was fuckin weird though

YourBabysFather

He just quoted it’s always sunny. I really don’t understand what’s so funny.

tyler

as a lover of the GD im really embarrassed i didn’t make this connection. was totally baffled (and pleased) when i heard fire on the mountain lol

Jacob

I used to do CNA type work, the second you said gallbladder I knew where it was going lmao

kmd

Jacques is a living Always Sunny character

kmd

They probably haven't watched the later seasons

YourBabysFather

The misinterpretation of “meet cute” to “meat cube” was from an episode of it’s always sunny a couple years ago

tysonw81

I honestly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe what I said was a tad harsh. But people want to jump down your f****** throat, and at the same time pretend that they're not, for something as innocent as not liking the entertainment that they do. I got over that when I was about 20.

tysonw81

Just listen to their god-awful show. No, how could I hope to say anything nearly as interesting or original as, say, commenting on what outrageous thing my friend did at the bar last night.

tysonw81

No, dumbass, it was said at a time where I had nothing else to do and listened to something I found so dumb it aroused in me and angry response. You however consider your own opinion to be so important that even something as Petty and ridiculous as my comment deserved your response.

tysonw81

Seriously, these comments come across as really douchey: "Your observances, sir, if, indeed, they deserve to be deemed as such..." Thank you, self-appointed debate moderators.

Chapo Bath House

Powerful speech, Jacque sounds like a young Joe Biden

Audeamus

I bought stuff in October and there's still not even a hint of it

Audeamus

I've slogged through all the other SD episodes and they're occasionally funny (though still forgettable and useless), but this is just mindless chaos. Too many people trying to spew out halfbaked bits and cackling for no reason. Not funny, not smart, a waste.

Char

Is Chris Wade a secret deadhead? That’s two weeks in a row with music drops

Stephen

Trad Wife / Brat seeking Cowboy Millionaire is legitimately a sub-genre of erotica… done at least like 6 of these books as audio producer

Caitlin-Kangaroo

Being an asshole is not a substitute for a personality 🙂🌟

@ByTheBaeram

The book was in my order so I assumed that was delaying things but oof to hear the rest of the merch is lagged too

Hardcore Virgin

🦭🦭🇮🇱🇮🇱🙏🙏🙏🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️👄👄