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645 - Cider House Rules for Life feat. John Early (Patreon)

Published:
2022-07-15 02:43:04
Edited:
2022-07-15 02:46:15
Imported:
2026-06

Downloads

Content

On today's episode the gang is joined by John Early of 'Search Party' and 'Would It Kill You to Laugh?' Topics include: the death of Ivana Trump, the closure of Lauren Boebert's Shooters, tall tales of fentanyl laced money, bottom-meals, Jordan Peterson's advice for the Muslim world,  how many American movies actually feature abortion, and the imminent coming of Dark Barney.

Files

Comments

Reece Coren

three years later and he’s still writing the barney movie lmao

Zach Pierce

There was a guy who did a video of how to clean your groceries that had 12 million views by mid April 2020

Shimosanz (Brian Sanchez)

2nd straight ep posted before 10 central time. Did you guys start waking up before noon? How is this possible? Well thanks for the slop.

etienne

slop is so late I was out there listening to catalogue eps of radio war nerd to pass time while doing house work. shameful.

darick michael lapaglia

Cider house rules was so ridiculous like the only thing they could think of to discuss abortion was a dad getting a daughter pregnant. Literally the most unrelatable shit

David Ramirez

Abmer… abmer episode… hello ambner…

Zach Pierce

There is no way a dollar bill or a five dollar bill would ever remain on the ground for that long in Kentucky. One of those mouth breeders would have picked it up before her. Only empty cigarette packs and scratched off lottery tickets exist on the ground in Kentucky -

Zach Pierce

Did Amber say “BREAST-RANT?”

bray

JOHN EARLY!!!!

K U

No fucking way at this get. PLEASE GET KATE BERLANT TO COME ONTO THE SHOW TOO.

Ira Yousey

come to Philly or I'll seppuku

Jon

To lighten the what now?

Will

Where did the Android = no QR code thing originate? You bet I will be using my Samsung Galaxy to peruse your menu of $34.99 tilapia tapas

stop watcherman

What is audio only equivalent of chewing scenery

Major bit me

Why hasn’t chapo given me mass hysteria yet what am I even paying for

Erin Kristina

She's in a bathtub. I used to take a lot of long luxurious baths before I became a mom. I didn't talk to anyone or do any recording in them, just read books.

Erin Kristina

I'm just glad I grew up in the time before that "That's Praxis" girl voice/way of ending words.

HeyB00B00

Jesus had himself a great run w/some undefeated seasons during the 20th century after joining Notre Dame

Adam Leuer

Rescue Amber from the box

Thomas Jones

There's another shooter's bar and grill in Idaho

Emily tatham harrington

Also that 10 hr long Lars Von Trier joint where Charlotte Gainsbourg gives herself an abortion

Jim McKenna

Sweet, sweet Amber. I hope this means you’re back.

Greg

Ha, I was too

J P 3

Chapo team has got to do a show at the Neom ski resort in Saudi Arabia. According to an announcement this week, it's scheduled to open in 2026.

VanLeft

please have John on all the time. Also yay Amber.

Smalls

Every now and then Amber reminds us she exists

William Evans

Would’ve never expected in a million years that Early is one of us but I’m so glad he is.

Catmanmanson

You don't get to complain about modern cinema without having seen RRR

HEATHER

I screamed when I read the title of this episode. I LOVE YOU JOHN EARLY

Regan

Underwater Amber

Collin

To be fair, JP is very popular with American Muslims

David Browm

Classic Amber, recording from a storm drain. We stab a queen

David Browm

*stan. I wouldn’t never hurt the dirtbag left Princess Diana

Bud Light

This is the new lineup.

AKorgar

John's a funny guy, good get

AKorgar

"We all float down here, Georgie"

October

They're all the right Trump.

Clean Shirt Piggie

Amber mixed the show and popped in from the control room

Clean Shirt Piggie

Props to CTH for zooming the ep to remain Covid safe

Ben

Queen Amber

Juji Gatame

Amber and the team show how working class chic they are by revealing they think Android means "iPhone for poor people"

BigBoto

Never heard of this guy, but he's an awesome guest. Vibed very well with the boys and AMBER. Great stuff. Also, shout-out to Chris Wade on his honeymoon!

Doug Cartel

His last name isn't pronounced "Crime-O"? Bobs crimo? I guess not you need the E. The e is important

justdave

Wait, COVID is why I'm black now?! My shitty doctor said it was because I was 'the most realist white boy in history'

justdave

-She's Jewish

James Roche

Delighted at the increase of Amber content recently 👌 Also: the author of Where the Crawdads Sing is a white lady wanted for questioning in Zambia in relation to a murder.

Vini Maranan

Speaking of movies about abortion, has anyone seen Fruit Chan's "Dumplings?"

justdave

'The prince of darkness is a gentleman'

IHaveHemorrhoids

Uhhhh Are you guys assuming Android users have issues scanning QR codes? JFC. What are iOS users smoking to think that their devices accomplish things other OS's can't?

IHaveHemorrhoids

Even those fentanyl stories where they describe a dog dying from sniffing a cigarette pack on the street while walking... First of all) why tf is anyone walking their dog and happily watching their dog approach a pack of cigarettes to investigate? You're a POS dog owner if you are letting your dog sniff a pack of cigs on the ground as if it were a weed growing out of the sidewalk. Second of all) dogs have such a great sense of smell they can tell not to sniff anywhere near that type of shit. It's fucked up but I've been in plenty of drug houses where uncovered powders are in the same areas as dogs and they are wise enough to go nowhere near those things. Fucking hate the self-propagated cop fentanyl myths

Ian

Incredible episode

CatWrangler

it's way less consistent for me trying to scan qr codes than my fiancee that has an iphone, no clue why

justdave

At home with Amy Sedaris is a masterpiece, that and Strangers with candy- Amy is my Marianne Williamson

Do Golems Dream of Ceramic Sheep

Errol Musk busting in his stepdaughter is evidence that Elon is, in fact, living in a simulation, but the AI in charge of it emerged from from the Pornhub recommendation engine.

IHaveHemorrhoids

There are tradeoffs when it comes to using one v the other. I suggest just downloading a well reviewed QR scan app for free on the Play Store. They've gone through security scans if they're on the Play Store and I've never once had an issue when using an app specifically for QR scanning. I get that it's nice to just whip out your usual camera app, but it's hardly any effort to use one specifically for QR that you can download. Tradeoffs: If a company is the only one creating hardware for their OS you'll see less quirks like that. It also means they force people to buy new phones way sooner than they should ever have to because Apple forces their hardware to support a minimum OS version which they constantly creep up to rake in more phone sales out of the consumer's new necessity to upgrade OS version which their phone doesn't support. This is a big reason why poor people from a more diverse range of socioeconomic backgrounds across the world prefer Android OS based devices. People who are loyal to iOS on a large scale tend to be richer, whiter, and tend to purchase more hardware and apps than Android users. Both OS's are owned by evil corporations but Android imo leaves more space for empowering poor people than Apple does.

Matthew Colgan

Yay, the amber frost has descended to deliver us a cool show

Bill

Amber does really add a lot to the mix. I've been missing the regular Amber content.

noop

Amber's back!!!

Evan Scott

Real old school chapo vibes with Amber not only on the show but using a tin can on a string to record. I mean that in the best way

lilfukka

“Here I go!” I love you John:)

Null_null

Yes! That whole crew is cool. They need to get Cole Escola on.

Clarp Blarpkiss

for real. I love these guys but she's so necessary

Ozzie

I expected Will to mention Godfather II in his list of abortion movies

otis

Felix really fucking loves opiates

Wyatt Parks

Boys I live outside of Nashville and literally had Facebook friends sharing that lady's story about the dollar. Fucking embarrassing

Bugger Off

QUEEN AMBER!!! YES!!!!

TangiePower

The author of “Where the Crawdads Sing” and her ex-husband are wanted for questioning in a 1996 murder of a detained poacher in Zambia. The couple was in the region on some naturalist mission, and the murder is suspected to have been carried out either by her husband or else the game scouts they hired.

Michael Branes

"enter the void" had an abortion, but nobody's watched that. and probably just shouldn't, honestly

Queermunist

Who is this "Amber" and why is she on my sausage fest pod???

K102.1FM Mornings w/ Jonny Corndogs

This was buried in the Fox Link about dipshits pretending to be cops handling Fent dollar bills, the Fox host mentioned...is that the same lady in the Chapo Live Ep. 254 where (Carlie Shimpkis?) was one of those lunatic Turning Points USA teens who were bragging about how racist they were in internal emails?

Brian Long

Omg John Early! ❤️

Lawson

QR codes have been around since like 2009. I hate the menus too but legitimately every phone can use a QR code.

EaZy E

I appreciated having marginally gayer Adam Friedland on the show.

Stolen Valor (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 I kind of got put off by the "he" at Ezra and then like do I really want to even be perceived as defending that piece of shit? Pulled it back around by acknowledging they're NB and also goofing on JBP and keeping it correct with Elliot Page. God I don't wanna be a pronoun cop. Funny ep and glad Amber seems to be semi regular and yeah John seems like he would be a perfect full timer but they're probably done with new mics
2022-07-15 18:01

sky

Amber and John Early... Praise God

Valerie

Loved this one

C D

So basically shooters for people on leftist gun Twitter

Marcus

That fentanyl experience sounds a lot like injecting an opiate/opioid to me.

Seanm538

The McDonalds lawsuit in the 90s wasn’t litigious. A 79 year old woman got 3rd degree burns from 180 degree coffee, sued just to pay her medical expenses. Corporate media made it seem like a ridiculous money making scam. Its the 90s version of Reagan claiming everyone on welfare was buying lobster and steaks.

The Pissler

I’m non-binary and it sucks seeing people you think are generally cool treating it like it’s a joke.

Chad Dopamine

On the same day it was announced Bo Burnham is directing the Kate Berlant special we get John Early as a Chapo guest. Blessed collabs

Harry P. Ness

my LG phone doesn't scan QR automatically, I gotta open an app

Harry P. Ness

just wanna say I've been listening since double digit eps and "we can't go in the classroom the kids will know we're high" is one of the funniest one liners ever uttered on the show

Christopher Price

Nice to have Amber calling in on Cush's vintage tin can.

Mark Schneider

Great ep, having Amber back really rounds out the conversation. I liked her compassionate take on Jordan Peterson's "Advice to Muslims"-- when Will intro'ed it I expected the advice to be, "Study Jeebus", so it wasn't as insane as I expected given JP's M.O.

Brendan McCoy

It works with my default camera app 100% of the time. QR codes are just 2d bar codes.

Kaleidoscope Chameleon

The White House will become The National Diarrhea Liquidation Warehouse if Boebert gets in there.

Colin Helpio

Please only Future outros from here on out. Too hard.

Lezli

I’m guessing they want us to be afraid of cash. Between the central bankers coup d’etat in 2008 and the ensuing debt crisis, digital money will be their best bet to control the situation https://youtu.be/VYOEvurCVuk

justdave

At first I thought the bit about king lear was brilliant, but shakespears point is that we're all king lear. Mr Peterson just needs to be loved, it's actually made me sympathize with him (and his daughter). He hates himself, to a degree that is essentially madness

Brett Anders

Story of Women a very good abortion movie starring the god Isabelle Huppert

Sam McManus

Do not cross my Christian ass if I'm WHAT?

Ross Moore

Peterson is just mad that Elliot would curb stomp his ass in a fight

blackFFillip

John was actually funny, that’s the difference

Scott Kelson

seriously? wow. makes the 'who-done-it' aspect of the book a bit sus

John Barrett

FUCK! He should have come up with a lie!

Warbs

I keep checking but the Portland show has been sold out for a week.

Craig Foster

The last two episodes have been phenomenal. I love John Early. Also love Amber but her audio was shit and made her interruptions more awkward lol. Felt like she was broadcasting from an old school sensory deprivation chamber.

Clean Shirt Piggie

Hoax or not, we lived through it together. Our very own Hands Across America

Clean Shirt Piggie

I’ve loved John Irving for a long time. Read them all

etienne

i read Garp almost by accident and the whole first section is on the whole extremely highly sus, like especially that plot point where the nurse jerks off garp's dad because he's vegetative state. 7/10 was worth picking off my mom's bookshelf

etienne

my equivalent corny wannabe Great American Novelist guilty pleasure is Jon Franzen tbh. it's indicative that none of that guy's books got adapted

Brendan Costello

Yeah but I kind of like "broadcasting from an old school sensory deprivation chamber" -- maybe they can take turns in "the barrel." If nothing else, there should be at least one person in the chamber whenever they discuss Hunter Biden....

The Children of Jack Acid

At a protest where you don't want cops, just make sure the flyer says something like "ABORTION RIGHTS RALLY Thurs. 4 p.m. Meet up at the corner of 5th and Spring St. (same side of the street as the fentanyl dealers)"

justdave

My mom won't let me read the scary stuff

etienne

damn that's a shame maybe if she had you'd be able to craft a good riff by now

Clean Shirt Piggie

I hope you got to the parts about the Ellen Jamesians

justdave

My mom says I'm funny

justdave

-Funny lookin

justdave

The civil war was America's first gay war, it was also, the gayest war

etienne

you're telling me they were fighting to free other men?

justdave

Well it definitely wasn't about women's rights

Craig Foster

Yes, because that's what I'm doing here with a Patreon comment...looking for her attention!

Dylan

Moderates love talking about the dangers of left-wing/right-wing echo chambers, yet the real dangerous echo chamber was being an iPhone user all along

Sean Peden

man yall brought up where the crawdads sing but none of you heard about the best part: that the original author is wanted for fucking murder in zambia over some unhinged racist animal rights shit

Michael B

That was fucking great. So good to hear Amber back in the mix. Well deserved w, kids.

Hudson

Get a life tweeker

Hudson

Smoke weed everyday protect yourself from all manner of viruses esp brain worms

justdave

Me with Ken burns hair reading those letters from generals to their 13 yr old wives (who've they ben wed too for like 5 yrs, 10 children) -'MY dearesst Annabelle, this war shall end promptly, and I shall once again frolic in the fields of your glorious hair.'

justdave

'The boys and I are on our way to Shilo now, and we are workin up quite the lather!'

Tom

I worked at a company that implemented QR codes for restaurants. I agree with your analysis, but also think that it's a symptom of tech companies needing to constantly validate their existence by delivering features that don't actually improve (and often actively degrade) a person's experience.

Negative Affirmations

Sensory deprivation tank? I assumed she got the last pork sliders from Shooters and was doing the entire episode from the bathroom

Louie Luke

I'm glad Amber has been on more often

Brandon

Of course Amber takes the conservative position on the 90’s hysteria of tort reform by mocking the McDonald’s lawsuit. Doesn’t everyone at this point know the seriousness of the plaintiff’s injuries and the millions corporations spent lobbying the media to frame the lawsuit as frivolous? Can’t believe everyone wants Amber back. The show has been at its best over the last several hundred episodes because it’s just been the original trio again.

Gorgeousgeorge

She starts talking over everyone and blurting things out emphatically, suddenly everyone’s kind of just yelling out stuff. I agree.

Isaac

not to mention she sounds like she's recording from the bottom of a metal trashcan

Harry P. Ness

sounds like someone just cant handle the feminine dragon of chaos but ok

K H

Where The Crawdads Sing is I think the name of the fake screenplay from the show The B in Apartment 23. I'm not joking. The one James Vanderbeek's(blessing and peace upon him) man servant had.

K H

I don't think she did anything but say you can't really expect to win law suits against a corporation anymore. You have like PTSD. Posting Traumatic Stress Disorder

K H

My earlier phones didn't scan them using the camera application. I had to use an option in one of the web browser applications. Maybe new versions of Android do it automatically but now I scan via the browser out of habit. Just kidding. I make a scene and demand a menu because I don't want 5g blood poisoning.

Kyle

I hate this fucking app

Brandon

As an earlier reply pointed out, bringing up McDonald’s in the context of 1990s “litigiousness” makes it obvious what she was implying. I don’t understand the caping. Matt already brings the ML viewpoint to the show and communicates theory far more coherently.

The Children of Jack Acid

If I brought up "prostitution" in the context of the 1990s, it would be obvious that I was implying your mom. All Amber said was that the fentanyl lady can't sue the McDonalds--from whose floor she picked up the supposed dollar bill. While I think Amber is wrong--the fentanyl lady COULD have sued, even today--I don't see how anyone is extrapolating from this that Amber thinks McDonalds was in the RIGHT in the famous coffee lawsuit.

Brandon

I mean, this is what she said: “Who could she sue? It’s not old school. It’s not the 90s. There’s no way to be litigious about it. She can’t sue the McDonald’s or anything.” With the added context of this conversation being inspired by the fentanyl lady’s bullshit claims, it’s pretty obviously a reference to purported lawsuit-happy frauds of past decades, the most culturally salient of these being the McDonald’s case which corporations very effectively propagandized specifically in the 1990s. This was the overwhelming belief of the public until Hot Coffee came out, so I don’t know why you can’t wrap your head around the fact that a person like Amber would make an ignorant crack about this.

Saxon Baird

you’d think that a podcast that makes over a million a year could get amber a way to record that doesn’t sound like she’s live from Jeffrey Epsteins island temple

etienne

amber was in a litteral actual echo chamber

The Children of Jack Acid

Nothing about Amber's statement implies she thinks that McDonald's was in the right, in ANY lawsuit in the 90s. She was just implying that it was easier to sue big corporations in the 90s than it is now. Of course, that's not exactly true. Anybody can sue anybody. But it IS true that in the wake of that lawsuit, the public would be more likely to PERCEIVE lawsuits against McDonalds to be frivolous, even if they're not.

BureaucracyNow

Google the author of where the crawdads sing

DTV

Look, Ezra Miller sucks but it’s really not that hard to use the right pronouns. It’s honestly kind of hard to listen to that section, especially followed by a bit where you acknowledge they’re non-binary. Shit sucks.

Basil

Yikes

Alice Pooper

Totally agree. And while I love chapo movie content, they really don’t do anything foreign unfortunately

B2B Commuter

I think you’re being a little uncharitable in your reading of what she said. I take it as “the right was successful at undermining routes that were open yesteryear” as opposed to “the right was successful at undermining routes that were open yesteryear, and that’s a good thing”

teacup

Yeah, a milli a year, but she still sounds like she's recording from Oscar the Grouch's trashcan from the Sesame Street. Ha ha. She sounds like her studio is setup in Osama Bin Laden's underground bunker, heh. It sounds like she's calling in from Steven Crowder's closet (where he is hiding too hahahaha)

teacup

Hot take, but there's nothing wrong with killing poachers

teacup

Agreed, though to be fair Ezra used to go by any pronoun, never really took gender or sexuality too seriously, and only recently started using they/them. I don't think they were intentionally misgendering to be malicious

Matty C

If there’s anyone to be mad at in terms of misuse of pronouns re: Ezra, it’s Ezra. This feels like the people who used to get mad at them joking about Jewish stereotypes when mocking Dershowitz.

Natalie

will stole amber's joke twice in this episode lol

Michael S. Judge

The acoustics in Epstein's temple are actually great. I've been told