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657 - Hustler’s University (8/25/22) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-08-26 02:38:50
Edited:
2022-08-26 03:20:45
Imported:
2026-06

Downloads

Content

We discuss the good and bad of Joe Biden’s student debt relief plan, as well as the amazing constellation of whining and bad takes it’s produced. We also take a look at the deplatforming of Andrew Tate, which we don’t care about, and his many crimes and in-home wizard, which we do care about. But mostly, this an ep about jacking off.

New merch store! Tons of hot new merch! Get it, wear it, do NOT answer anyone’s questions about it: https://chapotraphouse.shop/

And, all our tour dates + tickets over at https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live

Files

Comments

chronye

first 30 mins of this episode ruled and are funny

Walking Bones

Student Bone Forgiveness. That is all.

Emerson Kerr

Student boner forgiveness. That is all

kenton

Top G is what Jung called The Shadow

Nick D

Hail Satan

Kentucky Shitlib

Getting my five bucks per month. Thanks guys!

CM

Chapo University

tapwaterskeptic

Now thats what I call "Chapo Trap House"

Ryan Helfer

Loan forgiveness doesn’t apply to unaccredited universities like my Alma Mater Hollywood Upstairs Medical

Miles

U-G-Oh

Jonathan G

...Say Yu-Gi-Oh again Will?

Medellin

As someone with adhd. I prefer subtitles

Jonathan France

I feel like it’s bad that I immediately noticed that this is episode 657 not 357

Dick Wolf

I was 3 at my grandparents house when I zipped my dick, a little light left my world that day.

HeyB00B00

The dry-fire wanking off convo is the most relatable content of the podcast to date😂😂😂

Undercover Communist

Thank you Chapo for helping me get through another day in my dreary corporate job and giving me the strength to not jump out of the 5th floor conference room window. Much love

HFWoP

Is it ableist to comment on Will's grasp of pronunciation? "raw-ther"

Ian H

Yeah I gotta say, as someone without even a high school diploma, much less college, I'm legitimately psyched to get rid of my remaining 7k of culinary school debt. Also, per the drivers at my most recent job, a CDL costs like 6k in my state, and shipping companies generally use "paying for it" to lock drivers into multi-year indenture-type contracts at low wages, and force you to pay the whole cost back if you quit or get fired.

LankyShooter

Let’s just call it .38 CHAPO SPECIAL

LankyShooter

Chapo audience needs to know: DRYFIRING IS LEGITIMATE TRAINING. Modern gats can handle it. 😂

Annie Brennan

For me , a pell grant recipient and also only went to college for a year, I’m gonna say lgb on this one

Joe

Patreon email said episode 357. I sincerely thought we had time-traveled back to the last time student loan forgiveness was hot in the press.

Matt Crossin

Opening discussion here is essential listening.

anthony potter

Great open, best convo of dudes talking about jacking it and it not be disgusting or crude. Thx

Michael S. Judge

To be fair, a lot of that $700,000 for Prager U was me and Dinesh D'Souza looking for the Democrats' Secret Box of Racism

Shiv

the correct take

plainwrap

'Long Pants Kickboxing' sounds like a martial arts school for religious fundies afraid of homoeroticism.

Joseph Mabrey

I like how Nick specifically did the black man voice for the intro one time and 1 time only because everybody liked it. And we can't have that folks.

Twice Baked

more episodes about jacking off please

T Delgado

That “clear my schedule” line by Felix was so on point, god damn

Jeffrey Miller

I fucking died when Will said he had, "Fear of having encountered something more powerful than I was prepared to deal with."

William Evans

Full throated LGB on this one. I got 45k and my degree-less fiancé makes the same amount of money as I do in the same work. Also I cancelled my subscription a week ago but now that I got this I renewed. That’s for you Matt.

Jason Olaru-Hagen

Please look at George W Bush’s masterclass it’s insane

Jessica S

Once when my son was younger, I complained about lack of aiming skills and he yelled “You don’t understand because you don’t have a penis! I can’t help it, it just goes crazy sometimes!!!” That shut me up.

Front Dogs Go To Heaven

that being the wrong way round somehow annoyed me more than any felix ADHD joke (or any matt butchered physics analogy)

Anya

Sensory processing issues isn’t “being annoyed” by things…

Lulu

Automatically equating disabled people to children seems unironically very ableist to me lol

J.W.

I'm with Will on the elastic waistband COMFORTWEAR approach to life. Great vibes this ep. No dry fires.

calvin kilby

I was called a fascist for making a bad joke about disabled ppl once, so my take on the discourse is some people need to mellow out some!

BigBoto

Stop making fun of Will; he has the beautiful and unique Upper West Side accent just like Jill Abramson. Great ep

Adam Hauck

“Everyone has AIDS! Your Grandma and my dog, Old Blue - they’ve got AIDS!”

AbeLinkin

I don’t think abortion will be as effective in a national election as much as Felix proposed. The population advantage the left has is negated by the electoral college design that gives outsized weight to rural states filled with reactionary “Christian” women who don’t care about it. Kansas is an outlier, and it was right after the Dobbs decision. Let’s see if our collective goldfish memory and the Democrats’ campaign strategy are able to recreate some of the energy felt after the ruling. We shall see…

Sam

Liking-not liking children being turned into a moral debate on twitter is so fucking annoying

Sam

Also, Felix, you cannot make a case for not being neurodivergent right before talking about your childhood reading habits

K H

Children are basically brain damaged adults. I'm glad Felix is keying into the fact a lot of these "neurodivergent" problems are just specific kinds of retardation. Of course no one wants to be retarded if they can be "divergent." Wow. So they're so hip and subversive. We should stop imposing basic societal expectations of decency on them as adults that haven't figured out how to interact with the 2nd dumbest form of the human species. The first of course being tHe rEpUbLIcaNs??? Also people that make me wait striking up long conversations with cashiers and people that insist subtitles are the best way to watch anime and everyone that drops those preloaded barbells so the weights get loose(you don't even have the heaviest one idiot), probably some other ones I can't think of right now. Oh. Infidels. Infidels are number 1.

William

You're a fucking idiot if you think the Biden loan forgiveness will be inflationary. I can only think of two things here: 1) supporting the student loan backed security market, and 2) they have calculated this is the smallest economic relief they need to giveto keep this shit pile moving a little longer. Bonus 3) can't say Biden didn't do nothing for ya

Drew McGill

Does anyone know where that slow brains read monologue is from?

William

Also, anyone who legitimately says the "my tax dollars pay for blah blah" doesn't understand economics or finance and can be told to shut the fuck up. Congress decides what they're spending money on, the fed creates that money (or sells tbills to generate it) and the tax dollars are taken in to cancel out the inflation that would result from all this spending. So no, your tax dollars don't pay for shit

B2B Commuter

Uh oh, looks like we got a center-left TAFS lib lost in our leftist comment section.

K H

In ancient times they looked at stars to jerk off.

K H

This show is Yu-Gi-Oh for people that had no one to play Yu-Gi OH with as kids. Banished to the hot couch realm.

K H

Wow. Cool it with the bigotry guys.

K H

Horrible.

K H

A pell grant is free money though. A grant. You have to have gotten a pell grant and have a federal student loan?

Mike Bizier

I received Pell Grants and Biden's student debt forgiveness plan will cancel my remaining balance. I'm grateful for that but like why limit yourself to needless means testing when you could have gone all the way? Come on man!

K H

Low pressure fluid dynamics do b gettin crazy

K H

I'm a Engineer at the dick sucking factory and I paid off my degree. You should do the same.

Clean Shirt Piggie

The 80s featured 900 phone numbers to prerecorded women

Clean Shirt Piggie

talking dirty. First 2 minutes free then credit card required

Michael Nilsen

Is no one gonna point out that felix was right about Romeo and juliet that he was about 17 18 and she was around 12 13

Jake Scalia

Hey it’s not enough of debt relief but I now only owe $600 so I’m super happy

William

Because it's a disciplinary tool. Harder to force people to accept shittier and shittier conditions when they don't have a mortgage or don't have student loans, or etc. You have to make people more precarious so you can keep claiming more of the labor surplus for yourself. The system incentives this, so not like every employer is sitting in a dark room together, though with the way corporate consolidation is going and with firms like black rock having major stakes in ,000s of companies, they might as well have

justdave

The original podcasting

K H

When will the Chapo Challenger drop?

justdave

At least the college educated whites are protected from the endless cycle of debt that permeates this putrescent country

Drew McGill

I’ve listened to every episode for the past 4 years easily and I have no idea what the hell the Zepada oil thing is about. Can someone enlighten me?

Son Goku

One of George HW Bushs (aka Papi) early oil companies. Now known as "HRG Group".

justdave

Wait, whats 'jacking off'-?

justdave

And I am happy for yall

I Let the Dogs Out. Me, Me, Me, Me.

Some constellations are admittedly hotter than others. God help you if Cancer's the only signal comin' through up there. Like, a Crab? Good fucking luck, Aeropos.

Doug Cartel

ok but proto-humans jacking off in front of a monolith is literally how History of the World prt 1 starts iirc that is

Daniel White

The act of the government canceling student debt plants a seed in the collective consciousness that this whole thing is a malleable sham, not ULTIMATELY REAL, but subject to immediate overnight change. That's an important step.

Joshua Garcia

Man culture is for fancy dandies who like daddies

Budget Hireling

I can't wait for no one to get my chapo shirts and to sound like a complete lunatic trying to explain zapata oil.

Ol-Dirty-BAStart

So we know that 'Viscount' is Felix's Word For The Day, and that Felix does not know how to pronounce 'Viscount'. We've learned a lot today.

Westerday

I work in heavy construction (is that blue color enough?) and had 9K left on my loan for a communications degree. Comrade Brandon just took care of that for me. Thanks! Should also clarify that I don’t fucking care if I’m subsidizing anyone else’s debt. I’m sure my taxes have gone to subsidize much worse.

Darius Arian

In fairness, I probably would have mortgaged my house against Felix not knowing how to pronounce viscount.

Jessica Rios

It’s kind of hilarious when 3 rich dudes act like forgiving $20 is NBD. Well I have been paying off my loans for 20 years and I owe 21k. I will finally be debt free and since we didn’t always have the best cable package (actually no tv at all) growing up, it feels amazing. Like AMAZING. And that $200 a month I have been paying for 20 years will feel real good in my pocket.

Sifl

Tate got banned from social media because he was able to figure out what people have been paying millions of dollars for. Tate exploded recently on social media because he was able to coordinate with his followers to make fan pages that helped boost Tate on the algorithms. The big socials do not want people conquering their algorithms like this because people are paying big money to try to get clicks on social media by hiring digital marketing companies and paying influencers. If all you have to do is get a few hundred of your cronies to coordinate fan pages to get your content blasting off on social medial like no other, then the social media platforms basically become worthless.

kenton

in this Ep: meritocracy brained rich kids don't know that really struggling people were too stupid for college admission

Praxcheat

Felix was correct; there is an age differential between Romeo and Juliet. He is 16 and she is 13.

Squeet Deedle

I'm someone with a combination of federal and private student loans so my question for the RW and centrist pants-pissers is; am I supposed to be infuriated at myself for getting the remainder of my federal loans wiped while I still have been paying the private loan? I get that this country actively tries to inflict psychosis on its citizens but this is weak sauce.

Ian Woods

+1 to setting an alarm for 2 AM ‘Secret Confessions’ or whatever on Cinemax in 2002. Simpler times.

Quinn Johnson

I wish Stav had been on this episode

Salt M. Bank

Love how Tate can’t enjoy reading “Treasure Island”, such an easy and fun read. Total dunce

Gebicca

Felix was right about Romeo and Juliet!

poiuytrefvbj55

Will and Felix just releasing my secret diet plan like this is kinda messed up

Treppy

shut up retard

stinkface

Andrew Tate's assumption that books are generally about pirates 👍 fastest brain in the game

The Children of Jack Acid

Did you know that it was actually the DEMOCRATS who formed the KKK? So how can anyone EVER claim that racism exists?!?

Doug Cartel

the only thing a "struggling DC staffer" deserves is a free machine that gives wedgies to the user 24/7

Gaelle Huggins

The wizard has joined The Wizards of Waverly Place

The Children of Jack Acid

I was feeling alienated at my job. But Chapo gave me the strength to get over it and laugh at life's foibles, rather than to turn to my fellow workers and bother them with foolish dreams of using people power to achieve a more egalitarian future. But I still hate Mondays! ;)

Tom Danner

Showing chapo to my lib friends, first 3 topics: differently abled people complain too much, porn is degenerate, asexuals are when you jerk it too much 🤓 oh boy

the lord commander

Mr. Christman if you happened to pay off your loans during the pandemic say between March 13, 2020 and now you are able to contact your loan servicer and request a refund up to the $10k paid during the pandemic.

Cardboard

I got money, hoes. Money and hoes

nicedickdude

You should get $10K even if you paid your loan off. Idk why anyone who graduated into the job market wasteland after the 08 collapse should be excluded. Suffering and stressing through those early years only to to get on your feet just before a global pandemic. It’s like getting run over by 2 cars and no one coming to help you

justdave

Everything you write is cool

Cheetahforce

they should hire a buddhism style wizard like the guy from silicon valley

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

Andrew Tate, showing signs of ADHD: Yeah I don’t read because I’m actually too smart to handle it

Jon

As a plebían in a two-door house, I feel seen. Thank you, Felix.

Jessica Rios

Lol if you think he makes less than 125k . That’s cute. Never change.

Jessica Rios

Thank you! I can’t even describe how good it feels. The weight of those debts are HEAVY. And you are right Will did push back but I was so mad and Felix and Matt’s response that I typed my comment before Will chimed in. 😂

Kompy

Fifteen full minutes of complaining about smartphones and technology, and the most boomer moment of the episode is somehow still Will thinking Wizards of Waverly Place is a thing kids are currently into

TugNuggins

Chapo house of the trap

Jessica Rios

I know. I agree. The way they actually NEVER had to worry about money (except Matt) and you can tell by the way they just assume shit. 😂 Stuff they take for granted are things I just can’t imagine. lol

Dick Wolf

Gonna start talking to every girl with a general anxiety disorder like a baby

calvin kilby

All your replies sound like a desperate for a laugh open mic comic trying to riff with a heckler who's funnier than you

present

Quite disturbed by the suggestion of hiring a scab wizard. Non union magic never works out well

etienne

replaying Doom (2016) rn to explore the consequences of non-union wizardry

Luke Wheeler

I think they’re wrong about the Charles CW Cook podcast loan, that loan to Mad Dogs and Englishman or whatever is actually a Tampa Florida bar

Drake

We're they complaining though?

Jon

I think I know what kind of house I live in, Anthony.

B2B Commuter

The great thing about Biden is that his unwillingness to do anything serious about the climate makes it so that his tepid dogshit 10k student loan move won’t really impact my quality of life relative to wealthier members of my generation. No river cruises on the dried up Danube for any of us.

DopeTipped's Raid:Shadow Lessons

America Online Playboy section Jpegs over dialup. VHS Cinemax/Showtime collage jackoff masterpieces... daily endurance of my horror scape middle school experience to reach the promised land of nights in my own basement bedroom... taking me back fam, taking me back...

Kyle Strupp

Damn right. This ep had "The Wizard" as the ender and a Max Castor rap. A+ boys.

Dovod Poton

Is there a tier I can pledge at that will help make Felix less miserable when he records

Dovod Poton

Also Will has ancestor's that painted the eagle on Bill the Butcher's eye and he's out here pronouncing "Yu-gi-oh" like an Italian

Leo

Chapo needs its own Rasputin

THEKILLERWHALE

We truly are the greatest generation.

etienne

every urbanism thread has this one troll that's like oh you dont want this inner city core to look like a walmart parking lot? don't you know that only 18-35 able bodied cishet white males ride bikes or public transit? with the underlying assumption that every disability is the same as paraplegy and everyone can just get a wheelchair adapted minivan and drive everywhere. and also that suburban single family homes are even by default accessible and not like most of them are filled with gratuitous door sills and random interior stairs. this part of the disc horse solidly soured me on people braying online about ableism. zero of them know what they're talking about and zero of them make a sincere argument. actual people who care about accessibility work on nuts and bolt issues like text-to-speech, optical character recognition, better signalization, automated public annoucements, floor texturing, retrofitting elevators and escalators, etc, not whining online about how suburban train service improvement is a threat to people with auditory processing issues

Zach Lemon

But we need to save 200 billion dollars to invade Afghanistan again. The printer is al BRRRRed out.

Zach Lemon

Wait till you see what they say about health insurance.

Zach Lemon

Wow, he invented the fake business card. He must be really smart and only accessible to other very smart geniuses.

Zach Lemon

I found the true identity of William Shakespeare: George Lucas.

etienne

you should listen to Trashfuture

miss cloud

I have fibromyalgia which causes sensory issues, there are defs people over dramatising trivial issues on twitter in regards to disability but it's a serious issue that affects many people's lives. I don't know if I'll ever work a normal job again, I get brain fog and can't focus because I'm in constant pain, but I'm getting As in law school soooo... sensory issues, taking in information differently does not equal stupid Felix you fucking idiot

Rusty Shackleford

You, walking into a restaurant: geez, it's so loud in here Felix: learn to process sound, idiot

absoluteboi

i have ibs and still succeeded in life... just saying.

ClownBabee24

McArdle 100% did not pay that business loan. Her parents definitely payed that off.

brodie

Tate 100% is getting banned because someone who works at Twitter or Facebook got called a bitch by their kid because they watched a ton of Andrew tate videos.

owen

Right off the bat. This is why I don’t ever use twitter. What useless discourse lol Just American worker-consumers short-circuiting at the thought of having to work hard to change something within themselves. And then taking to Twitter to demand acknowledgement of their ‘struggle’ against our time’s constant stimulatory bombardment. But instead of looking within and thinking ‘I can opt not to look at this [distress causing thing] today’, these misery-addicted consumers hop online and demand society-at-large cater to the consequences of their self-negligence. Surely a product will solve my problems! That’s all I need…to buy something. Why confront my anxiety head on?

Hector Jaime

Am I insane? I could have sworn there was a recent chapo episode with Paris Marx (tech won’t save us host) as a guest. Did I dream it?

Tucci

few

Tony Bonacci

you can't complain about sensory overload and also be on patreon paying for these dry assholes to shout at you, livin that hard neurodivergent life. fortunately my dad hit me a reasonable amount and hugged me a reasonable amount and I learned fortitude. at least you've got both your legs fuckers. it could be worse.

Hector Jaime

Boomer has entered the chat.👋🏼

Hector Jaime

That’s just Felix trying not to alienate Red Scare Pod and Glenn Greenwald again.

vanna kinder

Admitting to being hit isn’t a good thing. I was hit tons as a child and that did not toughen me up unlike your Neanderthal ass I became a semi-empathetic person. I also one thing being more tragic than the other doesn’t negate fixing any injustice. You want to play the at least game, at least you aren’t driven to suicide due to insistent harrasment and violent assault like a lot of neurodivergent people are. PS you don’t like it you can always get off their premium service if you don’t like it (which is implied when you called them assholes), though I guess you are into the most pathetic type of masochism in order for you to make a point on a patreon comment section.

Jon Lyons

An underappreciated consequence of alienation is that tons of people are growing up not knowing that little weird things about them apply to basically everyone and are just the way humans are put together. I think it's a big driver of why like 6~7 years ago there was that profusion of micro-identities and micro-disabilities based on essentially the concept of having moods or multiple contradictory aspects to yourself. I think part of it is the genre-ization of a lot of pop culture, too, though—Don't get me wrong, I fucking *love* science fiction to an unhealthy degree, but every now and then you gotta grit your teeth and read something without a dragon or a spaceship on the cover. Not that there isn't plenty of genre fiction that dives deep into the inner worlds of its characters (Dan Simmons and Iain M. Banks come to mind, the later of whom also wrote "literary" fiction), but teens generally aren't exposed to it on their own, which is why I think it's good when schools make you read The Bluest Eye or The World According to Garp or whatever so that you see how other people have also felt and thought the way you do, and had the same weird little issues and difficulties, and that it's normal, since a lot of people sure as shit aren't getting that exposure in real life through deep connections to others. ...Of course some people ARE seriously chronically ill, (including me but it's a lot better these days after 6 months of having electricity shot into my goddamn brain), but you can often tell it's the real deal because the symptoms AREN'T things other people experience or have sometimes even heard of.

Yaoitopia

The first third of this is literally cumtown

Ben M

Woods porn anyone?

Generic Driver

Boy, they went full Boomer on this one, didn't they?

AbeLinkin

You’re not wrong and I didn’t like that guy. Maybe I missed it this time but what’s new with him?

SF

I don’t think so, unless I missed an episode. I absolutely cannot stand Paris Marx so I would have remembered.

Juan Suarez

you know they just broadcast tv for free through the air right