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We had some other news items to discuss, but the bulk of this episode is taken up with one piece of breaking news: Did you know that there's a tunnel under Eastern Pkwy? Yes we’re discussing the ridiculous story out of Brooklyn about a group of Chabad-Lubavitch members attempting to dig a secret and unlicensed tunnel under the streets of Crown Heights. We also take a look at Bill Ackman facing some blowback against his wife in his crusade against “academic plagiarism”. Alone, you come India.

Buy Amber’s book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250269621/dirtbag

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Comments

Mitch H.

SECRET TUNNEL!

Ricardo Pleasure

im man enough to admit i didnt know about the tunnel. im not gonna lie and pretend i did. that's not what i'm about

Mike Mariano

Don’t mess with the Tunnel Snakes!

Ben H

Tunnel gang tunnel gang tunnel gang

Seymour Butz

Where is cum town when you need it

j

What can I say, it was an amazing tunnel

N0tagayman

Really hoping Amber comes back full time.

plainwrap

I bet there's still one Chabad wizard down there engaged in an epic battle with the Balrog of Crown Heights.

Jaime Christley

I worked at Enterprise at two Brooklyn locations nearly 20 years ago and I can still recite the Chabad discount code as if it were my childhood phone number.

Alice LaPlante

so happy to hear more Amber. i just finished the Dirtbag audiobook today, cried and giggled all the way through. Love to all gray wolves 🐺

Jason Matthews

The Balrog is the only native speaker of the dialect Lin Manuel Miranda appropriated for Washington Heights (2021). Al Pacino respectfully borrowed his accent in Carlito's Way from a different Balrog.

Louis

whos idea was it to play tunnels on an episode about tunnels???

James King

Music recommendation given what's happening in Gaza and NYC: Tunnle Warfare (Chinese 60s classic)

叔叔六十四 (Uncle64)

Well there are some random secret tunnels in Downtown Dalla, but they were just built part of a random walkway mall thing that got abandoned. And not built by young cultists.

Poppy Chulo

The Hasidic Jews are out of control. They keep their children from getting a real education and game the system for government benefits while at the same time shutting out the rest of their neighbors, even employing illegal patrols harassing goyim.

teenynoid

“It’s me, Felix, and Amb—“ *stabs STOP button*

Hugh

This episode is an instant classic.

Madeline

Honestly shocked at this short sighted support of people digging holes. If this continues and different communities start digging holes, we will see world war one style sapper combat as different holes and tunnels meet. I beg you to reconsider your position on the hole debate.

Seymour Butz

More tunnels for the rest of us

Katie Doyle

Im unfortunately well versed in Gaylor lore and most of it is an insane stretching exercise but there are a few solid examples that make it a compelling conspiracy. Still it should stay on reddit and tumblr

Joey Fazzoli

You’re missing out, she’s been very funny lately

Tim O'

I think I speak for everyone here when I say: oink

Tvvvv

There’s a great YouTube account that collects all the subliminal lesbian messaging of Gillian Anderson.

Bryan Welch

Can’t wait to burrow into this episode

William

I maintain that brace is the only acceptable guest to discuss these tunnels with

Jack

more amber on the pod!!

Jason Matthews

But Patton Oswalt is an actual mole person

William

Imagine being so weak that 1 persons occasional comments stops you from enjoying a podcast. Pathetic

BigBoto

A Tunnel Grows in Brooklyn by Chaim Potok

Liz

AMBER!! 🔥🔥

Flesh Colored Subaru

Whenever some guy who would otherwise never talk about politics publicly goes hard for Israel there is ALWAYS an Israeli wife

Tim Mullen

It’s a shame that right wingers turned the tunnel story anti semitic like 2 hours after it got hot on Twitter

Zach H.

It was a Kosher Gooning Cave.

kctoo

I'm so happy to hear Amber on the show more often!

Aidan

Forget it, Jake. It’s Shivatown

Karl Childers

TONY MILLIONAIRE WAS THERE? fuck! of all the chapo live events this moby dick read is the only one im pissed i couldn't get to. tony millionaire is a legend.

Eon Gattignolo

he's not cool but i can relate to feeling insane

Eon Gattignolo

amber honestly brings a little acid and a little bite into the mix that always makes me happy

Mega Binoclard

Podcasters saying Jewish terms correctly challenge - impossible

Lukas Kuligowski

Great ep, always oinking and squealing when amber is back

Samwell Ganges

Amber's Looney Toons comment though. It hurts to laugh dammit

Samwell Ganges

Panting and sweating as I refresh the TrueAnon feed and get tricked into buying three more board games.

king_von_diesel

Chabad lore might be the best lore. I LIVED A FEW BLOCKS FROM CHABAD 770. I NEED TO KNOW MORE

J Lit

A real feel good ep. Lord knows we needed it, thanks gang

Demented Avenger

Did no one else think of these Jewish seminary students (or whatever this is) re-enacting Porky's?

Jonathan G

Didn’t realize this earlier but amber is chapo’s finance correspondent

Alex

As a NYC Jew I demand access to the tunnels

Major bit me

I love Katy Perry because of her fearless war against the Catholic Church

J

Chris, transitioning with Arcade Fire's Neighborhood #1 was an excellent joke. Appreciate you

drewb

every time I see that word now, I think of it in Norman Finkelstein's voice

Eamon Short

Fuckin' A! Amber's back! Love the book, y'all should check it out.

Karate-Robo Brian Dennehy

Neri Oxman has an episode of the Netflix series Abstract where she talks about growing building materials or some shit and lies about swimming Walden Pond every morning.

teenynoid

Please do, I’ll beat the ever living fuck out of you

teenynoid

I’m not your homie. Kys

Maciek

What’s better for the author, order from the link or find a local bookstore? Been a minute since I uh, done gotten a book

Alex B

I love Chris chiming in with things that Matt *might* say lmao

Kinetics Video

I know they've had a lot of difficulty finding a good direction to go with the property for years now, but I have to say this TMNT reboot has me concerned

jay k.

top tier chapo ep

SH

Tunnels needle drop is 🤌

T

I think it's supposed to be best to call the local bookstore, ask them whether they have it in stock and, if they don't, ask them whether they can order it.

Agent Grange

I said it before and I'll say it again, Amber is the only person who can match Matt's specific energy and niche on the show. The fact that they both have the same opinions on Taylor Swift proves it.

Suckinonachilidawg

I’ve been listening to Amber’s book. It’s really good. I was psyched to hear her back on the Show. Amber-content FTW!

Jaime Christley

YouTuber Casey Neistat once made a video about installing his own U-shaped bike rack outside his building - I don't remember what part of Manhattan he was in at the time but it was the kind of neighborhood where you could throw on a day-glo vest and a hard hat and you'd be invisible. Anyway nobody bothers him during the install, but within a day the city came down on him with threats of eviction and whatnot and he had to take it out. No tunnels tho

Russell Sugden

Why did they dig the tunnel? I have vivid memories of imagining digging a tunnel to get OUT of mass during mass as a child. Was it an escape attempt? “No mum, you saw me go to services didn’t you” and then sneak out the back?

H. Seldon

Love it ♥️ Long time listener and recent subscriber here. Im sorry to ask; but is Matt likely to come back? Is he really brain damaged :( Apologies if this is insensitive and I've missed a health update or something. Love from London England

Amos Leager

Chris playing elder millennials like a fiddle with that arcade fire drop

G. Gordon Litty

I wonder if Amber knows my uncle? I’m pretty sure he’s a member of the Melville Society and he wrote a Marxist thesis on Melville for his PhD.

m@tt

Brilliant episode. I’ll probably listen 10x.

Trevor Tennyson

Amber episodes are always great. Idk why she's not on more often.

Snooder87

By the way, there is such a thing as countable infinity.

Keyan

“Well, there goes my mind”

The Children of Jack Acid

Did Amber just say "Ackman" sounds like the "male superhero version of Cathy?" That was fucking amazing.

Randy

❤️AMBER❤️

Jaime Christley

also Bugs Bunny never fucked with Porky. Bugs goes after Elmer, pint-sized gangsters, witches, Abominable Snowmen, opera singers, and Daffy. I can't really remember Bugs and Porky appearing in the same short. The only exception I can think of is when Bugs serves the stinger in PORKY PIG'S FEAT. (That's the one where Porky and Daffy are trying to escape the Broken Arms Hotel to avoid paying their bill.)

blazed uncle

Fun fact: I have a friend who escaped Chabad and she said the room where they had that little tunnel riot smells like an old skating rink

Jack Perry

Bill ackman’s wife tweets remind me of Timothy Morton

Kinetics Video

Is Adams the angel in the Genesys conception situation?

The Children of Jack Acid

that said, if you BEG me to tell you jokes about digging holes, I would eventually cave.

The Children of Jack Acid

And that's not theoretical! Just go to your average joke-teller and ask him to make puns about digging a big hole... he'll probably pause, then scratch his head for a bit, and say "well...."

The Children of Jack Acid

And maybe that's for the best! Because often, puns about underground passageways rely on dark humor.

The Children of Jack Acid

... though I have told jokes in caves. I was in a cave with my buddy Carl, and told him a pretty lame joke about a "stalagmite, hanging from the ceiling." But ol' Carl must have been able to see through my fumbled words to the joke I was TRYING to convey about stalagmites hanging from the roof of a cave, because he responded, "What you MEANT to say was 'TITE!'"

Bugger Off

AMBER’S BACK! Haters shove it!!!

Noah Mingus

I spent the last week with my octogenarian grandparents. That generation is so fucked in the head, I almost wish the Cuban missile crisis was an actual catastrophe. You heard it folks, I became insanely close to thinking a mad max situation would have been preferable what we got instead.

Noah Mingus

But then I quickly changed my mind when I realized I was a blessed Chapo sub with a ham sandwich in my lap. Love you all!

8BitThunder

Important question: has Will gotten in touch with Tony Millionaire? He owes you a book.

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

That monologue from that retelling of Twilight sounds like something a minor villain from JJBA would do

Tyler S

Haters are the waiters in the tunnels of success.

Clammy_Damp

Will finished early in the Dick Marathon. Was too shy to say hi but he was one of the better readers. Best wishes.

McGuire

Amber is the best

Zakir KH

Lmao ackman started posting again

Jameson .

“These jews haven’t had a history of labor for a hundred years?”

T

Landlords 👏 are 👏 workers 👏

Jameson .

Can someone explain to me how this is not patently racist?

Jameson .

Not me she sucks so much

William

I’m pretty disappointed with chapo actually. This was emergency pod level news event, deserving brace belden calling in on a tin can from an undisclosed location

Mangomoosh

The arcade fire tunnels song 😂 this is funny!

Jonathan Schwartz

The meek shall inherit the earth... but not its tunnels!

Raoul Duke

Sequel ep guesting Tunnel Girl when

Nolan

Gangsta!

Tyler Sutherland

Very cool to see another group of Americans have visible mental breakdowns/schizophrenic episodes but instead of sectioning them in mental hospitals we have to pretend this is, somehow, religious. Jfc lol

Michael Landreth

And also reject. Like man, I’m wearing the red hat, but what the hell are you doing? Trying to end the world?

MKatieUltra

One of the wildest guys I ever knew was ex Hasidic. He was an annoying atheist, played poker professionally, was on a reality show, had a guest role on High Maintenance, did stand up, was a grifter in many ways, and now is a bartender. He wanted to start a podcast w me, but thankfully his followthrough sucked. So yes the tunnel boys track.

Fingerless

i dunno, they seem to be welk integrated into a community. maybe instead of transferring mental institutions from religious to government hands, we should just enroll the mentally ill in Opus Dei or the Freemasons

Fingerless

he shoulda hidden it under something, like how the escape grate was behind a newspaper stand

Kinetics Video

Brace was busy defending the tunnels

Kinetics Video

Should always have some bitterness in the slop

Tyler Sutherland

They're tearing up city infrastructure and doing Babadook shit in people's walls because they're hearing voices telling them that a guy who very publicly died 10 years ago is alive and living in the New York Sewer System like a deranged Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. They very obviously need medical help lmfao

Matty Fuller

Neri Oxman's "Vespers" death mask sculptures are p. sick though

Mike Loudin

"Deranged Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" 😆

Mike Loudin

Hes calling in from the other secret tunnel. The one the city didn't find

Samwell Ganges

Her describing this as if Der Sturmer made looney toons

Breakaway

How is Bill Ackman the Phoebe Bridgers of finance?

Tony Millionaire

We ate lobster and chowder at The Black Whale in the Norway maelstrom.

Tony Millionaire

Will read the chapter where Stubb declares he’s “gay,” singing Fa La Lirra Skirra 🎶

Karl Childers

ha, awesome. gotta say it: as someone who got expelled from college for doodling instead of studying i've admired your work for a long time, thanks for what you do and keep rockin

danny

Amber please stay

Oliver Elliott

Anyone have any perspective on why the Chabad guys in L.A. don’t seem quite as insane as the ones in NYC? Or at least they don’t do as many insane things. Lack of critical mass?

danny

you a god damn liberal miss swift, you dont know shit cause you never had heterosexual sex before

Nolan

Sending a unit of solar power salesmen into the tunnel to clear it out.

Juan Gonzalez

I’ve been having a hard time in my personal life, thank you for the laughs guys. Blessings to all

——

20:30. Felix mispronounces a word that no one has ever mispronounced in that way. Every episode haha

Kevin Kromenacker

I never realize how much I've missed Amber until she comes back and does an episode every 6-12 months

Breakaway

hangs out with sex pests?

——

He says punji sticks completely wrong. And then later will can’t say lure?! It’s nuts I’ve never encountered anybody that mispronounces more words that aren’t commonly mispronounced

hence therefore

Chris that Arcade Fire needle drop was extremely funny

Mitch Sabens

Great to hear Amber on the mic again. I miss her being on the show.

Cardboard

What was the song at the end?

Tyler Silvas

Did Felix do narrate the last episode of Fighting in the Age of Loneliness? On Secret Base.

A.L.

He co-created it with Jon Bois.

Major Powers

Bring Amber back more, she fills a Matt-sized hole in my heart :) <3

Fingerless

i'd like to see your remedy for the male loneliness epidemic

bruce

Chris rufo of all people whining about going after the wives and kids

John Labor

Arcade Fire, song is Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

Dan

So hard to know if this is a sad attempt at being edgy or just a sad attempt at being.

Tyler Sutherland

I've been thinking on this ever since you asked me lol. I'd recommend a China-style limitation on online gaming and internet use, tiered by growing amounts of use allowed until the age of 18. I'd also recommend fully funding mental health services for children nationwide, in schools and outside. Lastly, I'd put a peddle to the metal into the death of toxic masculinity, namely the alpha male shit that deprives men of the real social skills needed to grow up or even just survive.

Dan

It occurs to me that Hasidic Jews are Kosher Mormons. Or you could say that Mormons are kind of Hasidic Protestants. No, Mormons are Hasidic Bigamists, there I figured it out.

Kyle

American Tterroristt

Emma Hyche

The “Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)” drop killed me

Eamon Short

"I remember this form the message boards like ten years ago" I often forget Amber is as much a poster as Matt and Felix

teenynoid

You should make a sad attempt at k-ing ys

Juan Suarez

Rachel Sennott is Italian! She can't keep getting away with it!

Khemith

Nice to see Amber back.

Reece Coren

this was my favorite moment

Reece Coren

wow what a call by Molly on the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce marriage