The Captain's Heart CH 50 (Patreon)

The door to Growler’s quarters came into view, and Jeremy had to fight the urge to bolt. He wanted this. He wanted to be with Growler, and

The door to Growler’s quarters came into view, and Jeremy had to fight the urge to bolt. He wanted this. He wanted to be with Growler, and everything it meant. Even, especially, the physical aspects of the relationship. The nervousness, the fear, that was because of what had been done to him.

 It had to be.

Jeremy wanted this.

The door opened as they stepped before it, and Growler smiled at him.

This was it. Going forward, Jeremy lived here; with an alien. With his Heart. The idea hurt how much he wanted this, but he still had to force himself to step over the threshold.

“It’s this way,” his Heart whispered, a hand against his back.

Jeremy jerked to the side. “What’s your name?” What was he doing? “I mean your real, Kelsirian name?” Delaying the inevitable? Procrastinating? “Now that I understand your language, I should know it.”

“It’s Gralgiran sel Helrarvnir.”

The rumbling made his bones vibrate the wait it had that first time, but with the sounds came meaning. “It means justice, and hunting.”

Growler smiled. “I am named for the gods of Justice and of the Hunt.”

“Is that why you became a… hunter is what Thuruk called it.”

“My parents named me such to honor them. But I think I would have chosen this even if I had been named for one of the other gods, or for none of them. Jeremy, is something wrong?”

“I’m scared.” He forced a chuckle. “That’s crazy, right?”

“You were manipulated into believing who you are is wrong.” He hesitated, hand almost to his arm. “Can I?”

“Of course.” He hated that Gro…Gralgiran, had to ask. That he was justified in asking. As demonstrated by his reaction to a touch at his back.

“Part of you believes what they told you is true. It’s normal. You have believed it for so long. Knowing it isn’t true doesn’t make those years knowing it was disappear. We don’t have to do this now. We can—”

“No. I want to….” He forced his breathing to slow. “I am your Heart. You are mine, Gral—” the rest devolved in a painful contortion of his vocal cords. “Are you okay if I just call you Gral? I don’t think I can manage anymore than that.”

“I would be honored.” The smile and tone caught Jeremy by surprise.

“I’m missing something. That look’s not because I’m trying to use your real name.”

The smile became something like a regular one. “For us, names are like rank, in a way. Strangers will only use the rank or title. ‘How do I address you?’ is how someone I don’t know will ask me to introduce myself. Those who know me will still use rank in official situations. But at other times. They will address me as Gralgiran sel Helrarvnir. Those I work closer with may address me as Gralgiran because we have that familiarity through work, but only friends will address me at Gral. People who are special to me.”

“So the shorter the name I’m allowed to use, the closer to them the person considers me?” What did it mean of Thuruk’s insistence Jeremy only use that shortened name?

“Among my people. Those who have interacted with you would know about the difficulty you’d have with our names. So they will have purposely given you part of what they expected you to be able to pronounce.”

“Thuruk said he’s my friend.”

“He was willing to break rank, to rescue you. I expect that even if you could pronounce our names fully, he’d insist you call him Thuruk, or something shorter.”

“Are you okay with that? I mean, doesn’t a shorter version mean I’m more than a friend? Would he want us to….” He swallowed as the implications surfaces and shoved the oozing fear into the box. “You know you don’t have to worry, right? No matter what he might think, I’m your Heart, not—”

“It’s fine, Jeremy. You can breathe. If the technician offers you a shorter name by which to call him, he will respect that you prefer not moving forward. It is a demonstration of our affection for the other person, not an imposition of them on you.”

Jeremy nodded, his breathing settling. “Does that mean you should call me…Jer, or something?”

“Are you offering me your short name?” The emotions in Gro—Gralgiran’s eyes made Jeremy swallow again.

“I….” This felt like what his mother had said when she’d been surprised by his father’s proposal. Like this was a giant step. “I’ve never been called anything other than Jeremy. Even my family never shortened it.”

“You aren’t Kelsirian, I don’t ask you—”

“That’s not what I mean.” The miscommunication angered him almost irrationally. “I want you to call me Jer.” He grabbed his Heart by the neck, fingers digging in the fur and kissed him.

The tongue pushed between his lips; the hand touched his ass.

Jeremy tensed, then told that fear to go fuck itself. He grabbed the hand before it moved too far and put it back on his ass, before returning it to Gralgiran’s neck. The hand pushed him close, and groin touched groin. Gralgiran was hard, as was Jeremy, and he said No! to the fear that tried to reassert itself.

This was right. So very right. Gralgiran was his Heart, his Love. He was going to do everything that meant. Anything and anyone who tried to get in the way would be in for a nasty surprise.

They broke the kiss. “You didn’t run,” Gralgiran whispered.

“Will you be less impress if I tell you I had to fight the urge?”

“Never feel less, because you needed to win a battle. It’s the victory that matters, Jer.”

Jeremy swallowed. The way Gralgiran said it came with so much emotion. It made the word sound…special.

“What if I’d lost it, Gral?” he couldn’t put that same…specialness in it, but Gralgiran still smiled.

“Battles will be lost, but the war is only lost if you abandon the fight. I don’t think you will ever abandon a fight. My little warrior.”

He kissed him again, and this time, Jeremy was the one to put his hand on the other man’s ass and bring their bodies closer. Their tongues played together, Gralgiran’s wrapping around Jeremy’s and pulling it into his muzzle. Holding it there as they ground against each other.

Jeremy broke the kiss, panting. “Can we…move this along? I’m scared that if we wait, I’m not going to have the willpower to keep from—” The tongue licking across his lips shocked him silent.

“If that’s a fear, I don’t think you are ready for sex.” The finger on his lips stopped his protest. “It doesn’t mean there is nothing we can do, but I want you without fear of it when we have sex for the first time.”

“When we consummate our relationship?”

Gralgiran looked at him, surprised. “That is an odd expression.” He grinned. “Although, I will be happy to eat you out when you are ready.”

“What?” Jeremy couldn’t figure out what he meant by that.

“You’ll see. In time.”

“Okay. So, no sex right now. Then what?”

“A shower.”

“I’m pretty clean already. I mean, it’s not like I’ve—what?”

“Earthers don’t enjoy showers with those close to them?”

Jeremy closed his mouth and rested his head against Gralgiran’s chest. “You know, I am so not a good representation of what we humans are. I’ve never had anyone I was close enough to consider doing something like that with.”

“Because of what was done to you.”

“Maybe. Maybe I’ve buried myself in my work to avoid feeling anything for the guys around me. I certainly never felt anything for the women. Look. How about I follow your lead, and trust you’ll be careful with me?”

Gralgiran took his hand. “Then follow me to the shower.”

The room was spacious. The momentary surprise gave way to remembering that every room was spacious. It was how Kelsirians were. Even the shower could easily fit seven or eight people.

Gralgiran took off his vest, hanging it on a hook next to the shower, and Jeremy stared as he then took off his pants without even turning his back to him.

Then, he kept on staring at the erection. It was conical, without a head, like his. The base looked… normal? It was…normal length? Tapering to a rounded point. The surprise was such the usual discomfort took seconds to hit, then his attention was on shoving the sense this was wrong into the box.

“Jeremy?”

“You aren’t like I…. I thought you’d be different.”

Gralgiran looked down at himself. “How so?”

Jeremy laughed nervously. “I don’t know. The drawings I did in my teens of Kelsirians had human penises on them, but I know you wouldn’t by like us. But I thought you’d be…more different.”

“Can I see how you are?” the question was soft, tentative, and Jeremy realized that he was still fully dressed. He hurriedly took off his jacket, but Gralgiran took his hands as he started unbuttoning the shirt. “You don’t need to rush. This isn’t urgent.”

He wanted to. He had this naked man so close to him he felt the heat and he needed anything between them removed.

“I don’t know how it is with Earthers,” he said, and Jeremy chuckled.

“I don’t either.”

Gralgiran considered him. “Then let’s this be something of ours. This isn’t special. It isn’t something that should be rushed. Removing clothing is simply stepping into another attire.”

“Being naked isn’t exactly another set of clothing.”

“Why not? It is as natural as wearing a vest. I want everything between us to fell like it belongs. Not like something that needs to be reached.”

“But you want to see me naked.”

“Very much so. But do you want to be naked before me?”

“I do.”

He let go of the hands. “Then you will be. There’s no need to rush, Jer.”

Jeremy steadied them while taking breaths, then undressed the way Gralgiran had. As if he’d simply gotten to his quarters after a day’s work and was about to grab a shower. He still hesitated before undoing his pants. The knowledge another man was there, watching, waiting to see what would be…exposed, was very real.

He tried to be as casual as he could, pulled his pants down and got out of them, but still felt like he was putting on a show. He straighten to put them on one of the hooks, so aware of his erection, and was afraid the entire ship now knew about it.

“You’re right. We are more alike there than I expected too.”

“You never looked up what we look like?”

Gralgiran shook his head. “I’m not a biologist, or someone who studies other species. Until you, the idea I might be interested in one of them, sexually, never occurred to me.”

“Looking back on the memories they locked away, I had a thing for Kelsirians from about the moment I first saw images of you.”

“Now, you have a ship full of them.”

Jeremy chuckled nervously. “You’re enough.”

Gralgiran backed into the shower and motioned for him.

With a breath, he joined him.

The water was comfortably warm when it fell. Unlike his shower, the spray was wide enough it fell on them both, so fine that anymore and it would be mist.

His hand shook when he placed them on the furry chest. “I don’t know how to go about doing this.”

“There is no one way to shower, Jer. Unless you plan on hurting me, simply do it.”

How could he make something so…monumental sound so ordinary? He moved them lower and lower still. Then looked down when he thought he should have reached it. The penis was lower, erect, waiting.

He closed a hand around it and immediately shoved the oozed wrongness into the box.

It was harder than he’d expected. It had less give when he squeezed than his own.

Gralgiran purred.

He knelt. He wanted…. So many things. But he wanted to understand. He couldn’t understand the biology, but the mechanics that the shape implied, that…. He was procrastinating.

The skin had a slight ridging to it. The fur starting a few centimeters from the base, a down that lengthened until it was the length of the rest along his inner thigh. The ball were… taking them in his hands took some effort. He could sense he was pushing himself further than he should, than what they did to him said was right. He’d chuckle at that, if he wasn’t busy understanding, to keep the urge to run at bay.

The balls fit comfortably in his hand. Almost like that was what they had been made for. He massaged them, and Gralgiran grunted.

“Careful, Kelsirian balls might be more sensitive than Earthers.”

Jeremy pushed the questions the comment brought aside. This wasn’t an inquiry.

He stood. “I guess it’s your turn to see how I’m built.”

There was amusement in Gralgiran’s eyes. “Do you feel ready for me to touch you there?”

“No, but I don’t want that to stop you, just…”

“I will be gentle.” He crouched, and Jeremy watched.

Gralgiran’s nose touched the shaft as he sniffed and it twitched. Jeremy’s breath caught in surprise that he’d felt such a faint touch. He nodded when Gralgiran looked up. The moan escaped him when the hands took his balls. They moved in the palm.

“I think you’re right,” he said. “This feels good, but you can apply more pressure.”

He moaned again at the pressure. It hiccuped at the slight pull.

“What are you—” the question fled his mind as the tongue moved from the base of his cock to the tip, stars erupting as it passed over the crown, then the head was wrapped in heat and moved in, something scraping—

Jeremy backpedaled as visions of teeth around his cock surged through his mind, them closing, biting it off. He slipped and pain from his ass hitting the cold floor chased them away.

Gralgiran looked at him, worried.

“I think.” Jeremy swallowed. “I think that’s as much as I can take right now.”

Outline section 

No outline

Addition 

Gral and Jeremy discover each other’s bodies

The first of the…explicitness of the story. I did warn there would be descriptive nudity. The concern I do have is if this crosses the line into explicit sexuality.

Other than that, this was always planned to be an aborted attempt at sex. Jeremy has not been ‘magically’ cured.