The Captain's Heart CH 52 (Patreon)

Jeremy didn’t like the female with the messy fur. Gez, the other characters called her, which he associate with Gezbiliam, which his new

Jeremy didn’t like the female with the messy fur. Gez, the other characters called her, which he associate with Gezbiliam, which his new understanding of the language told him meant inspiration, as well as madness.

He was surprised at how much information he had about what the Kelsirian gods’ names meant. Considering he’d only receive one session and most of the dialogue confused him. He got just enough from that, and the action, well, what the characters did, he couldn’t think of it as ‘action’, to get the gist of the plot.

But he didn’t like her. She was self-serving. She’d sneers at the work Thuruksamian did, had charmed Salmialie, whose name meant traveling, as well as message or communication. Just to gain access to what he’d been entrusted with, and mess with it. Gralgiran had told him how she’d switched the Hearts around, when he’d explained what the word meant to them, and now he watched her do it. Then leave without thought for the man in the bed.

He woke and hurried to gather the package, then left. In the next scene, he was at the edge of a forest, placing it down, and the people inside exited it as he vanished in a cloud of stardust. What followed was a scene of the people moving about getting to know the area.

Then Salmialie was back where the gods lived, a forest, with the occasional building. He went to Gezbiliam, only to be thrown out. She mocked him; the tone carried that, although he couldn’t understand the insults themselves.

A term that confused Jeremy was how they related to each other. The information he’d had implanted said the word meant siblings, in the way of people born to the same parents, but Gezbiliam had had sex with Salmialie, even if it wasn’t depicted, and when Danirag, whose name meant pleasure and sex, comforted Salmialie, sex definitely happened. It wasn’t quite depicted, but the shadows moved in a way that made clear what the moans, growls, and groans were.

Scenes altered between the gods and the Kelsirians. The first going on about their…business? While the Kelsirians went from discovering the worlds they lived in, to fighting to expand, as well as fighting each other.

Jeremy was confused why Thuruksamian didn’t pay more attention to them. There had been clear love when he’d made them, made their Heart, but once he’d handed them to Salmialie, he’d immediately turned to other projects.

Absentee father, he decided.

Then, the god decided to look in on his creation, as they were in the middle of a war. They’d built nations while he was busy, and now were conquering each other. The anger he unleashed when he returned to the forest made it clear that he was among the more powerful of them.

Eventually, he learned of Gezbiliam’s actions, and he was pissed.

Jeremy thought he’d kill her. He held her by the throat, claws piercing skin as he demanded to know why she’d done something so horrible.

He glanced at Gralgiran, as he’d had a few times while the movie played, and as before, he was captivated by what was on the screen. A few times, his lips moved, as if he was saying the lines along with the characters. He’d said traditionalists honored the gods. Maybe he’d watched this so often he knew the dialog by heart.

She replied. “To make things interesting.” And the man dropped her and staggered, as if the words had been a knife in his chest.

The scene faded to white, and after a few seconds, writing, from top to bottom scrolled from right to left. The credits, he realized.

“So, that’s it.”

Gralgiran chuckled. “Well, it is dealing with the whole of our creation and Gezbiliam’s machination. That will make for a longer than average ballad.”

Jeremy stared. Long? It hadn’t even been forty minutes. He set that aside.

“I don’t get it. And I don’t mean most of the dialog. Why would she do that? I mean, is she just mean? She certainly didn’t treat that messenger guy very well.”

“If she ever invites you to her bed,” Gralgiran said. “Know that it’s never for your benefit. Although, the ballads say it’s certainly worth it.”

“Please tell me you aren’t expecting me to believe one of your gods could show up and invite someone to have sex with her.”

He laughed. “No. The most you can expect, is for her to Meddle, and you should consider yourself lucky. Being invited to a bed is an expression that means courting madness. As for why she did it? You saw how Thuruksamian reacted, right?”

“That seemed to hurt, a lot.”

“Student of the ballads, the original ones, of which this is as accurate a retelling as still exists, argue that he never considered what living in a perpetual state of happiness meant for us, our ability to grow, fight off attackers. And she did, so she gave us desires and wants. Which made us push further, but also commit atrocities. Other say that her plans were further reaching. A few times she mentions that if she doesn’t do something, we’ll never be ready. They say she prepared us for something.”

“Like what?”

He shrugged. “They don’t know. Plenty of things can be attributed to all the desires we have. Just reaching space is because Jonikerti sel Danir wanted more than those around him, and there was little left on Kelser. Unless he wanted to conquer and start another war.”

“And that’s something she does? See in the future?”

Gralgiran hesitated. “No. That isn’t part of her domain. Inspiration is what she holds, but her domain is next to Syntarina’s. And she can see through time. She is the god of seers.”

“What does their domain being adjacent have to do with…her prediction?”

“It’s complicated. Did you get the part where Thuruksamian put some of his siblings into his creations? Into us?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Must have been in the dialog.”

“Well, he did, even if none of those are part of his domain. What the gods can do isn’t precisely defined, the way a program is. They have their domain, and then there is how far they can reach through the others and… borrow is the wrong word.”

“Take?”

Gralgiran chucked. “No. Copy would be better. They don’t take something away from the other gods, but they can still do that which is their domain, in a smaller way. Thuruksamian is the one with the furthest reach. After him is Tutecamongartin, Danirag, Xeniila’haran—”

“Where’s Gez among that?”

“Much lower, but she isn’t one to respect the rules. But with Syntarina next to her domain, reaching into it is easier, so… it might have been more than insanity that drove her.”

“I don’t know that I’d want a god I can’t trust.”

“Oh, you can trust that she is looking after us. That what she does is to help. You just have to hope for your sanity to survive the process.”

Gralgiran looked at him with a smirk.

“What?”

“I wasn’t always sure my sanity would survive her Meddling with us.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment. Different cultures. And it wasn’t like belief there was some intelligence behind what happened made it less significant than it happening at random.

“Do you want to watch something else?”

Jeremy shook his head and snuggled against his Heart. “I’m ready for sleep.”

“It’s still early.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think our clocks are aligned like that today, and I actually didn’t get any sleep last night. I didn’t want to risk the ultrasonic affecting me more than they did. That nap I took in the psychologist’s office has worn out.”

“Alright.” Gralgiran moved until they were chest to back, Jeremy pressed against the other man’s chest. “If this makes you uncomfortable,” he said as he continued adjusting their bodies together, “we can change position, but this is the most comfortable I can be.”

The erection pressed between his cheeks, and surprise kept Jeremy from speaking. Even the ooze didn’t immediately manifest. He didn’t move as he shoved that in the box, and he relaxed.

Gralgiran licked his neck. “I am so glad you are finally with me, Jer. I have missed you for so long.”

“I’m glad too, Gral.” He couldn’t add anything. He couldn’t find the words for how right this felt.

He belonged here, someone had told him once. His mother, he thought.

And he was finally here.

    *

Jeremy woke with two realizations. He was alone in the bed, and he had to go. He extricated himself and ran for the shower room and the toilet behind the door at the back of it. It didn’t open, and he collided with it.

The pain and surprise stole most of the willpower he’d used to hold it and barely made it in the shower in time to let go over the drain. He closed his eye in relief. A door opened and closed.

 “Morning,” he said, and got no response. He looked around as he finished. Gralgiran wasn’t there. Had he imagined the sound?

“Are you done?” Came from behind the closed door.

He shook it. “Yep.”

The door opened, and the Kelsirian ran past the shower without looking in Jeremy’s direction. He stared at the hall where he’d vanished to, trying to understand what had caused that. He quickly washed up and found Gralgiran pacing in the bedroom. He looked at Jeremy, then away.

“Is it and Earther thing?” he asked, sounding worried. “Because, if it is, I don’t know if I can…”

“Is what an Earther thing?”

“That!” He pointed toward the shower room. “You doing it…like that.”

“I had to go pretty bad, and the door didn’t open.”

“I was in there.”

“Yeah, that’s obvious now. But if it wasn’t there, where there was a drain, it would have been on the floor, and I wasn’t going to do that. I don’t know how porous this material—”

Gralgiran looked at him, horrified. Then looked up with a groan. “Of course. I never thought I’d have someone else with me. I’m going to have to arrange to move us to new quarters with two toilet rooms.”

“You don’t need to go that far. That room is quite spacious. I’m sure building a second one won’t impede that much on—”

Gralgiran looked at him again, utter disbelief mixed with the horror. His ears vanished in the mane. “You want both of us… at the same time… in…. We can’t do that.”

“I’m missing something. It’s just taking a dump or a piss.”

Gralgiran looked like his father had the first time Jeremy had said ‘fuck’ in front of him. He’d been seven, and Byron had dared him to.

“You can’t—don’t—that isn’t—”

“Okay, Gral, maybe you need to take a breath.” The whole thing would be funny, he was sure of it. If it involved other people. “I promise. Nothing I did or said, was meant to offend you, but I’d like to know why.”

With a visible effort, Gralgiran calmed himself, and Jeremy realized that his fur had puffed out as it settled down.

“Those aren’t things we talk about,” he finally managed. “What we do there.” He had to force himself to continue. “Relieving ourselves. That’s private. That’s… I don’t know how to explain it better than that.”

That explained the stalls, even if all it contained was a urinal. They didn’t have the sink to wash at that Gralgiran’s toilet room had, but he had noticed the furtiveness of those washing their hands. It also explained the somber atmosphere. If it was so private Gralgiran was this put out, using a public restroom couldn’t be enjoyable for them.

“Okay. So no talking about what takes place there. You don’t have to worry. Doing what I did only happens in an emergency.”

“I’m sorry for….”

Jeremy chuckled. “I ran off on you twice. I think I can accept you doing it once.”

Gralgiran chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so…”

“Is there anything you want me to do before I suggest we take a shower?”

“Run a cleaning cycle,” the Kelsirian said so fast he looked away. “I’m sorry, the smell….”

“Right, you have better noses than us.” He returned to the shower room and was confronted with a problem. “How do I run it?”

“Just tell it to clean itself.”

“Does it understand English?”

There was an exasperated snarl. When he spoke again, it was in Kelsirian, and he was by the room’s door. “Activate deep clean shower cycle.” The water shot out and looked like a hurricane in a box. “It’s going to take a while. We can go out and eat until.”

Jeremy joined him outside the room. “Don’t you have a printer? I’m not difficult when it comes to breakfast.”

“You’d rather eat printed food?”

“Please tell me you aren’t going to freak out again if I say yes.”

He laughed. “Why? It tastes…. It’s not as good as the food the eateries serve.”

“It’s fast. Convenient. I can have it and my coffee ready before I’m done dressing, then I just eat and get to work.”

“So, it’s because it lets you spend more time working?”

Jeremy considered it. “Well, yeah.”

“You understand that we only work seven hour shifts, right?”

“Technicians, sure, crew and all that, people who—”

“No, Jeremy. We all work seven hour shifts. That leaves us twenty-one to live. You don’t need to rush anymore.”

“But what about emergencies? Those aren’t going to be conveniently seven hours long.”

“Emergencies fall outside the shift system for those who are in authority, but that ended yesterday. We then returned to our families, rejoiced in having all survived. And then the shifts were effective for all, again.”

“But the reactor needs to be repaired, Gral. What if—”

The hand on his cheek stopped him, kept the panic from mounting. “If they dare try to take you from me, there will be nothing left of them. And we are within unclaimed territories. The only law here is that of whomever has the sharpest claws. You can live again, Jer. You are safe.”

He nodded. He hadn’t realized until now how unreal the idea he was away from the commander and Omar felt. Away from the ultrasonics.

That he was actually safe.

A day had twenty-eight hours here.

How often had he wished for more hours in the day? Thought about how much more work he could get done.

Seven hours.

That was going to be a lot to get used to.

“Is anyone going to mind that I stink?”

Gralgiran leaned his and pressed his nose against Jeremy’s neck, then breath in. “You do not stink.” He licked. “You smell quite good.”

Outline section 

No outline

Addition 

The conclusion to the balad, discusing it. Jeremy and a banner room? Jeremy deals with being the only human on the ship?

Some of this will be dealt in Jeremy’s next PoV.

And for once, Jeremy isn’t the one freaking out.

Relieving themselves being an extremely private thing for Kelsirian is something I’ve planned for since…not quite the beginning, but at least since the first time Jeremy was on the ship.

The change in quarters was always planned, although it wasn’t for this reason initially.