Stepping Up, Draft 1, CH 14 (Patreon)

Tibs looked at the crystal ball on the pedestal. The room was thirty paces long, but the exercise, the test he was practicing for, wasn’t about the distance. From the practices over the previous days, this ability unerringly hit where it was aimed, and aiming under ideal conditions was simple.

He took out his knife, channel essence to the point, and readied himself. For him, this was about getting the surrounding essence to flow through his reserve to continue feeding the attack.

He moved the knife, traced the ‘x’, and as he stabbed its center, pulled the essence to him as his reserve drained into the forming attack.

Tibs had no easy way to describe how it felt, even to himself. Like trying to describe what Water was like, he suspected the words didn’t exist, so he fell back onto approximations.

The wind flowing around him as he ran fast, but through him instead. The pressure of the water around him, when he’d submerged in the lake to have a second audience with Water, but again, inside him, instead of outside. A burning, tracing a line from his reserve through the path his essence made from there to his hand, but wet, not hot.

He gritted his teeth as essence flowed. How ever he described it, it was a strain on him. He couldn’t keep track of how long the essence flowed, but it stopped, and he fought to remain standing as the ‘x’ flew at the crystal sphere, impacted, and the two exploded.

“You may have put too much essence in it,” Alistair said, and Tibs only stiffened. He didn’t have the strength to jump, although his heart was beating faster now in surprise. He should have sensed his teacher enter the room.

“I’m still getting used to the essence flowing,” He replied, giving up and bending to put his hand on his knees. He didn’t understand why, but this always made the strain pass quicker.

“Is your reserve not refilling?”

Tibs chuckled. “It’s full,” thinking of all of them. “It’s the flow that leaves me like this. When you didn’t arrive within minutes of Tirania calling you, I spent the days practicing, trying to make the strain less.” He straightened and took a few deep breaths.

Then he turned and hugged his teacher, cutting off his comment. “I missed you.”

After a few seconds, Alistair placed his arms around Tibs. “I missed your inquisitiveness, Tibs. I hadn’t realized how accepting of everything we’ve become until you.” He let go of Tibs. “Now, explain how you working out your method to sense and manipulate, then we’ll see about understanding why it is such a strain on you.”

“Like with settling my reserve, it was about how I felt about the essence. About how there is my water essence, then that which is outside me.” He formed a puddle of his water essence in his hand, barely covering his palm with the totality of it. “I can add to that what’s in the amulet, but that’s also mine, although, I didn’t understand how that wasn’t actually true before, or how true it was. It’s two things that are and can’t be at the same time, again.”

Tibs waited for a response from his teacher, but he only motioned for him to continue.

“I don’t know if it was intentional, but you gave me a hint it’s what it was even before you told me to practice it. When you told me how I could disrupt someone else’s essence. How could I do that, if I wasn’t connected to it in some way? But I realized that afterward, again. Carina set me on the right path, but by accident. She told me how when she controls the wind, it’s not all her essence. She uses hers to pull along the rest. So I started doing that with my water essence.”

Tibs smiled broadly. “I froze an entire pool of water in the dungeon that way to avoid a trapped bridge. And afterward, when I recalled my essence to my reserve and the amulet, I had essence leftover. Things got too hectic to think about it after that, but it stayed on my mind. At first, I thought it was contagious, like a sickness that spreads along a street, but sickness is something people get. Essence isn’t people, so it couldn’t be that. I figured that maybe because I’d spread my essence so wide, I’d lost track of which part was mine and which wasn’t, but that didn’t work either because essence doesn’t ‘know’ that it’s mine, or isn’t. It just is.”

Tibs sighed. “I felt kind of stupid for taking so long to understand that. I was the one telling the essence it wasn’t mine. The essence didn’t know, didn’t care. It doesn’t have a preference. Once I understood that.” He pulled essence in to refill his reserve, then used that to add to the water in his palm. “I was trying too hard.” He refilled his reserve and added that to his palm.

Alistair smiled. “If you can remember that, you’ll find that many of the exercises in the future will come easier to you. People get used to one way of thinking. When you arrived here. You thought the world around you was all about what you could touch, smell, feel with your outside senses. It made you think of it in a certain way. Getting your element forced a change of perspective on you. That means you had to look at it differently,” his teacher added before Tibs voiced the question. “And that is not easy to do, especially when you can’t get a direct result, or have a specific method to use.”

“But why can’t there be a specific method to understand essence and how to manipulate it? Couldn’t you have explained how it’s all about how I understand it to be?”

“Didn’t you already know that?” Alistair asked. “Isn’t that how you turned your reserve from the lake you imagined it, into that box containing your reserve?”

Tibs nodded.

“If I’d told you it’s all like that, do you think it would have made it any easier to achieve more?”

Tibs shrugged. He’d like to think it would have, but he couldn’t know.

Alistair smiled. “Sorcerers have tried to find ways to simplify the progression. They’ve experimented, that was a very long time ago, and figured out exercises, classifications, tests. It’s how we get the classes and ranks. Rogues think a certain way, we’re about sneaking around, not being noticed, being subtle. It’s why you’ll find most with flowing and subtle elements. Water, air, darkness. We’re not limited to that, but because of how we think, we tend to gravitate toward them. Fighters tend to punch their way through everything. So they go for harder elements, earth, metal, and the like.”

“But if that’s for helping learn how to use essence, why is what I can use as a rogue preset?”

“What do you mean?”

Tibs took out his knife. “This is the weapon I was told to use because it’s what a rogue uses.” He indicated the knife at Alistair’s belt. “Only do you have any idea how useless this is for me? Unless I’m any good at throwing it, I have to get so close to the monsters I want to use it on it can hit me back. I’m not a fighter, I can’t take that many hits. With the golems in the dungeon, a solid blow could kill me.” He considered how strong he was. “Could have killed me the first time we encountered it. When I asked to learn to use a sword, Bardik told me it was a stupid idea.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I know that considering what he did, I shouldn’t take what he said seriously.” And now that he thought back on it, the short sword Bardik had handed him to demonstrate his point had been much heavier than the one Pyan had him hold. “But the trainer for the fighters told me the same thing when I asked for his help. I had to go to a Runner for someone who would consider it.”

“How did that go?” Alistair asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and expectant. Like he already knew the answer, but wanted to see if he was correct.

“It didn’t. The corruption that’s in my body caused my hand to cramp and she said I should wait until that’s healed before trying it.” And knowing that, he should jump into the pool of corruption to have that audience, but just getting close enough to smell it caused him to turn around.

Alistair’s nod was more contemplative than decisive. “Do you think you learning the sword would affect how you learn to use your essence?”

Tibs stopped himself from rolling his eyes. As annoying as he felt having his teacher constantly force him to think about the situation instead of answering him, he knew there was a reason behind the method. Although, considering Tibs forced Alistair outside of what he knew more often than not, that might just be a justification so his teacher wouldn’t have to figure out the answers by himself.

“First,” Tibs said, “a rogue can use a sword. One of Don’s lackeys did. I don’t know how it affected his essence training, but he was metal.”

Alistair nodded. “It’s possible the reason you have to use a knife is that it’s always been how it was. My early days in the dungeon were different from yours, but I wasn’t conscripted. My family paid for me to go to a dungeon. The tests had shown I had an aptitude for rogue and that’s what I trained for. My team protected me and I disarmed the traps, searched the rooms for secrets. The dungeon was also an established one, so it might not have been as aggressive as this one.”

Alistair tapped a finger on his thigh, which Tibs had realized meant he was thinking, so he waited.

“Once the corruption has healed out of your system, I’ll see about finding a trainer willing to teach you how to wield a sword. It could be interesting to see how, or if, it will affect your training for essence.”

Tibs shook his head. “I have someone willing to do it.”

“A guild trainer would be better,” Alistair said.

“And the guild would charge me for them,” Tibs replied, instead of voicing his doubt that with more years of experience doing things the way the guild wanted it done, came the mindset that cause even his teacher to look doubtful as to the wisdom of trying it.

“Alright, it is your decision, and I understand your reluctance to give the guild more to hold over you.” He motioned toward the pedestal where the crystal sphere had reformed. It did so within a few minutes of breaking. The essence woven into the pedestal, Tibs expected it was mainly crystal essence, caused it to happen. “Now, how about we get back to your practice? The sooner we find out how to let you control the flow, the quicker you can officially graduate to Rho.”

Tibs looked at his knife. The mention of graduating reminded him of the problem his team was facing. “Do I have to?”

“You have to practice if you’re going to improve, Tibs,” Alistair replied, sounding perplexed.

Tibs shook his head. “Do the exam, graduate to Rho. I can already do a lot of what they learn, so why can’t you continue teaching me more without having me graduate?”

“Because.” His teacher stopped, tapped a finger on his jaw, then motioned and two ice chairs formed. Tibs sat in one, sensing the weave of the essence forming it. It was too complex for him to figure it all out. It wasn’t just water essence packed into the shape, there were differences. It was what accounted for the softness of the seat compared to the hard legs and armrest, Tibs expected.

“My reflex is to tell you it’s because that is how things are done,” Alistair admitted, “but we’ve already established your opinion of that.” He gave Tibs a small smile. “So while, in the end, that is the reason, let me explain it this way. There is only so much I can get away with when it comes to diverging from the established methods of training. So long as I can explain it as getting you to a specific goal within the accepted methods, Tirania will let me do it. In this case, it’s passing your exam.”

He motioned to the crystal sphere.

“As I said, sorcerers did a lot of experiments to determine the best way to train adventurers, and while you are demonstrating we may be too adamant about following them, on top of them keeping you safe, we know they work. We know that by the time a water rogue can take control of the water storm his essence is to perform the sphere test, they have progressed to the point where they can learn about that being a mental construct, and set them on the path of changing how they see it, and therefore, letting them move toward Lambda, where they will pass another test that will show us they are ready for the next stage and so on.”

“But doesn’t that mean the ranks don’t mean much? What about—” Tibs closed his mouth on asking about those who gained essence outside of the dungeon, outside of the guild. He couldn’t know if they progressed at all beyond having an element. The blacksmith and baker didn’t even know they had an element.

“What about Tirania,” he said, hoping the shift would still make sense. “Is she really Beta, or is it that she hasn’t passed the test to the guild’s satisfaction?”

It was Alistair’s turn to close his mouth upon opening it. “That is is a good question. One I don’t have the answer to, although at that stage, what a rank means is even murkier than it is for you. Harry is Gamma, but it could be argued he is more powerful than Tirania since he’s a fighter and “hits harder”. As I said, it gets murky. It’s in part primarily a title that denotes where within the guild hierarchy someone stands at that point. I expect that if Harry ever decided to become a guild leader, he would be made Beta regardless of what the test said.” Alistair’s finger tapped on the armrest. “I’m actually not sure what the test for becoming Beta is.”

“Haven’t you taken it?”

Alistair smiled. “I’m Delta, I have ways to go before that test; if I was even interested. I’m comfortable where I am. But to bring this back to you, despite your incessant detours,” he grinned, “even if you were content remaining where you are, with no longer being trained, which I expect you aren’t. The guild wouldn’t let you. The guild is investing in you for a reason and it isn’t interested in allowing you to stagnate. It will demand that you take the test. Even without training, with only going through the dungeon as it gets every stronger and you surviving it, you would work out how to do the things the guild wants you to. It would just take longer.”

“But…” Tibs trailed off. He didn’t want to voice the problem again, but Alistair motioned for him to continue, and Tibs sighed. “Jackal is Lambda now. I’m the only one who isn’t officially Rho.”

“That will change rather soon I expect.”

Tibs eyed his teacher angrily.

“You will have to explain things, Tibs. Mind isn’t my element.”

He sighed again. “We can only have one person who is above the rank of the dungeon. It’s Rho. That means that if anyone else on my team graduates, someone will have to leave it.”

Alistair nodded, then stopped. “Ah. Right. Your team is your family. I’d…” now he trailed off, smiling wistfully. “I’d forgotten that aspect.” He because serious again. “They aren’t going to be dead, they’ll just be on a different—”

“No! I’m not losing my team!” Tibs was out of his chair, pacing. “I lost too many people already.”

“Again, Tibs, they won’t—”

“I have no idea how good that other team’s going to be. How do I know their rogue’s going to do everything they can to protect my friend? That they aren’t going to hate them for taking the place of one of their friends. Why does my team have to be broken up?” he demanded.

Alistair remained silent, and Tibs couldn’t maintain his anger face with that calm expression. He sat.

“If one team outpaced the dungeon, it can destroy it. They can cause more damage than it can sustain from everyone else going through it and those who die to feed it. It does have limits, Tibs, as difficult as it might be for you to believe, having only been the subject of what it can do. It has happened.”

Tibs wondered if his disbelief looked anything like dismay. It would explain his teacher’s reaction; because the man had it so wrong. Maybe a too powerful team could kill a dungeon. Bardik had come close enough by himself, with the help of plenty of corruption. But one team of Lambda in a Rho dungeon?

Sto had explained it to Tibs when he’d told him not to use his essence to just drain the monsters. Sto would have to change things to take him into account, which would make things too difficult for everyone else and they wouldn’t improve, they’d just get killed.

And he was reminded of the primary flaw in everything the guild did here. They thought the dungeon wanted to be fed when Sto wanted to help them get stronger. He wanted to tell Alistair that, the guild. He hated that to protect himself, other Runners ended up suffering. He sighed. Could hint at things without revealing his truth?

“You said the sorcerers are always performing experiments, right?”

Alistair nodded.

“Have they done any on the dungeons?”

“Why would they do that?” Alistair asked, chuckling.

“I don’t know,” Tibs replied, annoyed. “Maybe to see if the guild got yet another thing wrong?”

His teacher studied him, finger tapping. “Tibs, it isn’t because the guild isn’t doing things the way you want them to, that it’s doing it the wrong way.”

Tibs narrowed his eyes. “You’re saying that because you’re part of it.”

Alistair sighed. “I’m saying it because there is at least a thousand years of history that tells us this method works. If it was the wrong one, it wouldn’t have survived to today.”

And yet, Tibs thought angrily, not one of you has realized a dungeon can think like a person in all that time.

“I’m not taking the test,” he said with as much finality as he could muster.

“You will have to, Tibs.”

“Then I’m going to take it once the dungeon graduates again.”

Alistair nodded. “Do you think the rest of your team will agree to the same? There’s no telling when the dungeon will graduate again, especially not after nearly dying. You already have one member at Lambda.”

“Then we won’t go on runs until he graduates.”

“Can you convince your team of that?”

“Yes,” he answered through gritted teeth, but he didn’t need Alistair’s raised eyebrow to doubt his answer. Jackal would agree, despite his love of loot. Carina would stay by him, and Tibs was confident Khumdar wouldn’t mind waiting.

Mez, on the other hand. The archer and his cursed sense of honor. He was a Runner and his duty was to run the dungeon. Would he be willing not to progress just to stay with the team? Tibs thought of him as family, despite his inclinations toward nobleship, but he wasn’t sure how Mez thought of them.

“I understand this is difficult, Tibs. Life, the world, is difficult. This is only the start of the situations that will push you in directions you’d rather not go into. Of hard decisions you will have to make, or be on the receiving end of. I won’t insult you by claiming your life was easy until now, but while the hard decision will come every so rarely as you grow in power, they will become ever so harder. That is a truth of being an adventurer. Those stories bard like to sing about, they don’t talk about the times when we have to make a hard choice between saving a caravan full of people, versus letting one child be taken by slavers.”

“You had that?” Tibs asked hesitantly.

Alistair nodded. “My first mission for the guild when I reach Epsilon. One of the other broke and when after the child, so I justified it as being taken cared of, even if neither ever returned, but it was a long time before I made peace with that justification.” He motioned to the sphere. “How about we work on something we can affect for a time, instead of pondering things out of our control?”

Tibs nodded and stood.

He did his best. He answered Alistair’s questions, followed his directions, but his heart wasn’t in it. The few cramps the corruption caused were part of it, but the main reason was that all he could think about was his family being broken apart. Of being alone with strangers again.

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