Stepping Up, Draft 1, CH 71 (Patreon)

Tibs followed Khumdar back the way they came, far enough they were at the sight of a previous battle, not that any sign of it remained. When the cleric turned, he looked uncomfortable; which was odd for the man. He usually had a detachment to what happened around him that gave the impression nothing could unsettle him.

“I have not entirely been honest,” Khumdar said, then faltered.

“About how you came to the town,” Tibs said.

“That too, but it is not what I wish to discuss right now. When you accused me of lying, even to myself, I was defensive and I did not understand why. I am a cleric of darkness. It should be obvious that I have and keep secrets. I took time and explored how I felt about the accusation and realized that you are correct. I have been deceiving myself about certain facets of my life, or rather, how I came to seek out Darkness as my element.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Tibs offered, although his curiosity wanted to know more.

“I do.” Khumdar looked around, then settled for leaning against the wall. “I believe a little truth will be good for me in this case. It will keep me from believing the story I tell to others.” He took a breath. “As you may have gathered, from Carina’s reactions to me and my own inability to not hint some of my secrets to you, I have the patronym “of Temerity” not because I wish to appropriate it…” He faltered.

“You’re from the actual family,” Tibs finished. “Like Carina, you’re from a family of Purity Clerics.”

Khumdar shook his head. “Warriors. The Temerity are among the strongest Purity Warriors Purity has. They are proud, they are strong, they are unbendable. They will never be anything but warriors with the Temerity.” He rested his head against the wall. “I have the family pride. I have the will. I lacked the physical strength. I am told I nearly died on birth. That the clerics refused to heal me, because if I couldn’t conquer my sickness from the start, what use was I to Purity?”

He closed his eyes. “Being told the story when I was older did not particularly hurt. By then I was used to the ridicule as I tried to lift a sword or a halberd. To have brothers, sisters, and relatives point to me as what a failure was. The story did not hurt. It was the pride in my father’s voice as he told me that the cleric never gave into pity. That he never allowed my cries to make him waver.” The tone turned angry. “That is when I despised him, my family, Purity.”

Tibs let him calm.

“I told all of you that I sought Darkness because I was drawn to it. I nearly believe that lie now. Darkness is not the felt element I considered. Corruption is who I wanted at first. If Purity hated me so much, I would ally myself with its opposite. But I have been raised to do my studies. And so I did. And what I found of Corruption sickened me. It may be core to the elements, but the people who chose it as their elements do not give it a good name, so I went to Darkness. I do not know why it accepted me. I did not go to it seeking to be a cleric. Maybe the lies I told it, told myself then, were an indication I was right for the role. I did not understand what I was until later, when I interacted with a group of adventurers, one of whom, their fighter, also had darkness as her element. It is when I understood my connection to Darkness was so much deeper. Something like what you feel, I believe.” He smiled. “Now, I wish I had taken that other option when I saw it. I could have shown my family, Purity, the mistake they made when they did not recognize the hard work I put into wanting to be its fighter.”

“Burt Purity wants people to work hard,” Tibs said. “That’s the core of what it is.”

Khumdar nodded. “But people are not the element. They say hard work is good, but then only consider specific kinds of hard work, and only when it is done by the right people. When confronted with their hypocrisy, they fall back on Purity having made that demand of them. Purity does not care with is done in its name. Nor does Darkness.”

“They don’t think like we do. They don’t see consequences. Just what they are. That’s become clear as I channeled them and saw the result of not controlling how they affect me.”

The cleric nodded. “I created the story of how I sought Darkness out because of my affinity. And there may be truth in it, but I created it as a lie so I would not have to confront the pain that drove me there.”

“But I don’t get it. You’re a good fighter. I mean, you aren’t Jackal good, but you’ve killed your share of Ratlings and Bunnylings, not to mention those Gnolls. You could have done that for your family if they’d let you.”

Khumdar shrugged. “I will not try to explain their behavior. I did so for years, hoping I would find a way to use that knowledge so they would accept me. They are flawed. As we all are. I have accepted that, and it is enough for me.”

“Why don’t you want the others to know?”

“In part because I like my secrets, also because Carina would enjoy having been right about me too much. I am happy to let her believe it is mere coincidence I share the name with that family. I am telling you because I had started to believe myself perfect. You reminded me that I too am flawed. I should not let the pride my family demonstrates become too rooted in myself.”

“Thanks for telling me.” Tibs hugged the cleric, who stiffened slightly before hugging him back. “We should get back to the others or Jackal’s going to clear everything and not leave any for us.”

“Our esteemed team leader does enjoy his fights.”

“And it’s our job to make sure he’s able to go back to Kroseph after a run.”

* * * * *

“Hasn’t it been quiet for too long?” Carina asked as they cautiously moved through yet another hallway. Tibs was almost sure the red tiles were the only ones trapped to hurt them, but Ganny was sneaky, so he didn’t want to take it for granted. He also thought he understood what the green, blue, and gold tiles were for, but that left a lot of colored tiles without a seeming use and Tibs didn’t like that.

Which he didn’t put beyond Ganny to have done all of this specifically to kill him from nerves. Carina was right. Normally Ganny dropped a group of Gnolls on them after each intersection, and this was now the third without a fight.

“Maybe we’re just too good and the dungeon decided to not bother?” Mez asked, and the team looked at him incredulously.

“Oh,” Ganny said, and Tibs shuddered at the smirk he could hear in the tone. “Just for that, I am—”

“That’s cheating,” Sto cut her off. “You can’t change how things are set to happen.”

“You, are going to call me out on bending the rules?” she asked.

Now it was his tone that carried the smirk. “Well, considering the number of times you came down on me for not following the rules, I think I’m entitled.”

“I supposed you are right,” she replied with a put-upon sigh.

“Something’s coming!” Jackal called, gleeful.

“But since you aren’t in the habit of listening to me,” she said, “why should I?” she cackled.

Tibs shook his head. Ganny was enjoying herself too much for his liking. He listened and heard the steps, still distant. Boots on stones, he thought.

“I think we’re about to find out what the dungeon settled on,” Mez said, sounding worried as he took his bowstring in hand.

“We know they aren’t really our dead friends,” Carina said, “so it’s going to be fine.” She didn’t sound convinced by her words.

Tibs didn’t comment, but he wasn’t worried. Whatever Sto and Ganny had settled on, it wouldn’t resemble people they knew. Sto had been too regretful to risk hurting Tibs again. He was certain of that.

“Is it wise to simply remain here?” Khumdar asked.

“The options are to rush to meet them,” Jackal said, then glanced at Tibs, “or wait here and ready our defense. I’m all for rushing if that’s what you want.”

Tibs glared a warning at the cleric.

“No, I believe this is a sound strategy.”

“He has quite the glare, doesn’t he?” Jackal asked without looking behind at them.

“And you know he did this how?” Khumdar asked.

“I’ve been on the receiving end of it often enough I can feel him level it on other people now.”

Tibs glared at the fighter’s back.

“Or me.”

Before Tibs could comment, Jackal raised a hand. The steps were approaching the intersection ahead.

Five… people came into view. They were shaped like people, and wore armor, with one a robe, and one holding a bow, with a quiver of arrows at… its hip. They were easily identifiable as the representation of Runners. One sorcerer, one archer, a fighter, a rogue and the fifth could be a fighter or a rogue. But they had no features. Their heads were featureless.

“I think this—” Mez started, but the faceless archer raised its bow and let loose the notched arrow at him. Jackal caught in a stone hand and immediately cursed and dropped it.

“He’s a corruption archer.”

Before Tibs could go to his friend to heal him, knives were flying at him and he used air to deflect them.

“Behind me,” Khumdar called, as another arrow flew, then a fire one responded, only to fizzle away before reaching the opposing team.

“They have a fire sorcerer!”

The sorcerer motioned and Tibs felt the essence take form. He wished he had the time to pay attention. “Carina, down!” he channeled water and had the ‘x’ attack active with barely a thought, the knife in his hand moving quickly. The jet caught the sorcerer in the chest and slammed it into the wall, where it slid down and dissolved.

“I didn’t take into account how quickly Tibs can switch between elements,” Ganny said.

It wasn’t like Tibs could do much with Purity to counter the corruption archer. He cursed as a knife sank into his shoulder. The opposing rogue flung them rapidly as he approached. And Tibs made a shield of ice to stop them. He bit back the pain as he moved his arm and reach to pull the knife out, only now realizing it was made of wood. Instead of coming out when he pulled, pain flared all the way to his elbow.

He glared at the rogue and made his sword. If that was what it wanted, Tibs was going to show it how a knife wasn’t the right weapon for a rogue. He rushed it, using the shield to block the barrage of knives, then slashed at the rogue, only for it to jump over it and slash at Tibs’s arm. The wooden blade left a line in his armor.

Tibs turned to face it and it came at him, much faster than Tibs expected, parrying and dodging the nearly too fast to perceive slashes. Maybe that was why Bardik felt the knives were better. The only thing that allowed Tibs to keep up was the lack of weight from his sword.

He blocked a strike with his shield and slammed it into the rogue, sending him staggering back. Tibs grinned at it. Knives still meant it had to get in too close.

It looked at him, then shook its head. It raised its hand and casually brought it down.

Tibs started lowering his shield, noticed what he was doing, and fought to keep it up. The pain flared from his shoulder to his wrist. He cursed.

Wood essence, plants, roots. The knife had put down roots in his arm and it let the rogue wrestle control of it from Tibs. Could they spread further and take more of his body away? He needed to change element, water wouldn’t help.

He reabsorbed the shield first, since he couldn’t count on it, and parried the attacks. At least the rogue wasn’t throwing the knives anymore. A kick after it too easily dodged a swing gave Tibs enough distance for the next part. He reabsorbed the sword and—

The cry of pain escaped his lips as his shield arm twisted in a way it was never meant to. Tibs swore the rogue was smirking at him. The pain increased and Tibs dropped to a knee. He needed to focus, and standing only meant he was going to fall, anyway. He knew what it was doing.

He glared at it through the pain.

It was breaking his concentration. Keeping him from switching elements. Tibs grinned. Too bad for it; he’d had to fight his elements from the last few months to gain control of them. Pain was just one other thing he needed to fight through. It wasn’t any easier, but knowing that he could fix whatever damage it caused him. Helped.

He didn’t look at the twisted mess of his arm.

He reached for the one element he had that could deal with wood.

Fire.

The heat felt good as it spread through his body, at first only enough for him to feel, but he added essence, suffused his body with it, and added more. The desire to unleash everything he had on that wood rogue pushed at him, and his smile broadened. He was going to make it pay for the pain. Make Sto pay for ever thinking Tibs was okay with feeling pain.

The punch staggered him and he glared, focused fire on his hand, and readied himself—

“You fucking promised!” Jackal yelled. “No matter what, no fire!”

“It hurts!” Tibs replied.

“Fucking deal with it!”

“I am,” Tibs said through gritted teeth. “I am going to burn this place down. I am going to end the pain forever!”

“Sto!” Ganny yelled. “Tell me you can deal with this!”

“You saw what he did the last time he channeled fire,” Sto replied.

“Then you’re burning me down too,” Jackal replied.

“I as well,” Khumdar said, stepping next to the fighter. Carina joined him silently, but the disapproval was plain on her face.

Mez stepped before the others, placing his bow on his back. “How about we find out if the size of your reserve means more than my training?”

“Don’t stand against me,” Tibs warned.

“You aren’t the element, Tibs,” Mez replied. “Just like that isn’t fire.” He motioned to the large ball of fire in Tibs’s hand.

“You think this is fire?” Tibs replied. “This is me. This is me having fucking enough of being hurt, or this place hurting me, hurting you.”

“You’re the one hurting us, Tibs,” Mez said. “With breaking your word, with using the essence to try to burn us.”

“Not you! Get out and you’ll be fine!”

“No. I’m not getting out. I’m not going to be a child again. I let pain and misery happen too often already. I will not let you be the one to do it this time.”

“I—”

“You’re being a child!” Mez yelled. “Pain happens. Only children lash out at it without caring who else gets hurt in their childish anger. Don’t be a child, Tibs.”

Tibs felt around the essence Mez had between them. It was intricate but delicate. He could overpower it. Rip it apart, bath them in fire, make them pay for standing in his way. He was going to make them suffer for not being on his side.

He staggered as the implications hit him, but it burned away and he glared at the archer.

“Do you really want to hurt us, Tibs?” Mez asked, searching his face.

Tibs readied to snarl his answer, but the fear on his friends’ faces registered. They knew what he could do, were terrified of it, but they didn’t move. And he was ready to burn them for that offense.

No.

Yes!

“No,” he growled. He nearly let go of fire but stopped himself. He couldn’t take control by running away from this. He’d mastered seven elements already. He could master how this one affected him.

He fought his rage at the injustices he had to endure. Recent and old.

He wasn’t the element.

He didn’t have to be angry to keep from feeling pain, but he needed to accept that pain was something he would feel. The only way to ensure there was no one to hurt him was to burn down everything.

It was tempting. Unleash fire on the world until he was the only one left. No one could hurt him then. No one would be left to comfort him, either. To speak with.

Some people deserved to be burned away.

But not at the cost of those who didn’t.

Kroseph had done nothing but be a friend to Tibs. His team had been there to help him with everything.

Sto had caused him so much pain. But he’d tried to make it right. He didn’t want to cause pain, but they were different kinds of beings.

He let out a breath and pulled the essence back into him. The fire burned close to the surface. He suspected it would always be the element he needed to be cautious of. It was easy for fire to get out of control. But for now, it was under his control.

Mez smiled.

Tibs considered wiping the smile by shattering the barrier the archer erected, but that was the fire speaking.

“That was dangerous,” Tibs told him.

Mez shrugged. “I’m a Runner, danger is sort of our thing. Your eyes are still fire.”

Tibs nodded. “I’m not letting go of it right now. I need to get used to how it makes me feel.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” the archer asked.

 Tibs grinned. “I’m a Runner, it’s kind of our thing. I’m sorry for breaking my word,” he told Jackal.

The fighter shrugged. “Hey, it led to you getting control and if you had lost it, at least the town would have been safe.”

“Kind of casual about how I would have been damaged,” Sto commented dryly.

“Sorry for scaring you and Ganny.”

“I wasn’t scared,” Sto replied. “Not too much anyway.”

“Well, I was,” Ganny replied. “You shouldn’t be able to hurt Sto the way you did Tibs. I’m not saying you’re too good of a person. I’m saying that by everything I have been taught, it should be impossible for any one person to cause the kind of damage you did the other time, and almost did now. I felt that heat all the way here. You’re an impossibility, Tibs. And a dangerous one. I don’t want to think what might have happened if someone else had gotten this ability.”

“I’m just sorry I waited until I didn’t have a choice before dealing with it. After the others, I should have known I couldn’t just wait for the right time.”

“Now that this is done,” Jackal said, “how about we collect the loot and move on to the next one?”

“Shouldn’t we head out?” Mez asked. “Tibs should rest after this.” He pointed to the mess that was Tibs’s arm.

The knife was gone, burned away, as was whatever roots had spread, but fire hadn’t fixed the damage. He’d simply been too consumed by it to notice the pain.

He switched to Purity and suffused himself with it. He felt good. Not the good of too much ale, but the good of a good night of sleep after a satisfying night of running the roofs. The good of knowing things were going to go well.

The sounds his arm made as purity repaired it, along with his friends’ reactions, indicated he shouldn’t feel this good, but Purity didn’t care. He knew his arm was fixed, but the temptation to continue feeling this way remained. How much easier would his days be if he felt this way all the time? It was an off sensation for an element that wanted hard work out of people.

He let go, and after hesitating, channeled fire again.

Anger surfaced immediately, but he pushed it down below the surface.

“You thinking of burning me down again?” Sto asked casually.

“No. I’m not burning anything down.”

Not even the guild? He’d wanted to do that for a while and now he thought he had the power to burn through all the defenses they had. If not with fire, corruption would do the trick.

But who else would pay? How far would the damage spread if he let loose like that?

So no, he wouldn’t burn anything down. He’d do what he had to protect his town and the people in it, but no more.

He smiled. “Let’s go see what else Ganny’s got in store for us.”