Today's writing: Haycartes' Pluperfect Method (Patreon)

IT'S NOT DEAD!

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Chapter 18: Applied Herpetology for Dummies

Explanations waited until after Mighty Fortress had done what he could to put my body in order, with bandages in places I preferred not to think about, and until the other ponies gathered in the church were present to listen. 

Finally, with everyone gathered- Mighty Fortress, Hot Lead, Mighty Gale and Shadow Lurk just returned from their wild-goose chase to Ponyville, Johnny Respectable and his bodyguards, and Anastasia the Abyssinian thief, plus the addition of Canterlot Guard Lieutenant Lucky Star, summoned there at Twilight’s request. 

“I figured it out when Johnny told me that my client was an imposter,” Twilight spoke for me. “And the leader of the True Canon virtually confirmed it for me this morning, not that he knew it. As soon as the Pastel Rats got the Sketchbook away from Roam and outside the protections that kept the Fallen from touching it, they tried to get it. They killed Gustav to find out where it was headed, but that’s all they got.”

“He wouldn’t ever sell us out,” Anastasia sighed. “We were a team. That was what made us the best.”

“And for various reasons, they planted evidence pointing here and then used that evidence to put me on the case,” Twilight continued. “So when you told me that my client was an imposter, it meant two things. First, that Father Victorious was in reality one of the True Canon-“

“Victorious?” Mighty Fortress gasped. “But that can’t be! Victorious and I came up in the priesthood together! We were even part of a secret society!”

“-and second, that the Canon had killed the real Victorious to take his place,” Twilight finished. “Which brings me to the one loose end in the mystery.” She turned my head to face Lucky. “Do you remember the autopsy Bitter Butter performed? On the pony with no head or hooves?”

“And all the diseases,” Lucky said, shuddering. 

“I’ll come to that. But more importantly, no identifying marks. They didn’t care about the body, but the head and hooves had to be destroyed, so they disposed of those and dumped the body. But they missed the tattoo.”

“Tattoo?” At the word Father Fortress leaned forward, his mouth curved down as if he were preaching a funeral- which I guess was right on the money.

Please put a brake on the narration for a few minutes, would you?

Sorry.

Twilight lit up my much-abused horn and created a shape of light in the air- a perfect replica of the tattoo on the corpse’s left shoulder. “Do you recognize this, Father Fortress?”

Fortress hung his head. Slowly, he settled back on his haunches and used his right forehoof to slide the sleeve of his priest’s cassock up to the shoulder. The same Haygyptian eye could just barely be picked out under the fur. 

“We all got it together one night in Roam,” Fortress murmured. “We were young. We were holy warriors, or so we thought. And every young priest joins a secret society at some point. And then we go out into the real world, and we put aside childish notions.” He took a deep breath, finishing in a husky voice, “But we never forget those days when we were immortal. Poor Victorious.”

“And that would explain why the imposter sought you out, Harriet,” Mighty Gale said. “They knew Victorious and Mighty Fortress knew each other, and they couldn’t risk their ringer being spotted.”

“That’s one reason,” Twilight said. I don’t think telling them about the recruitment pitch is a good idea, she added for my benefit.

No, not really, I agreed.

“So the imposter hired me,” Twilight continued. “And then I’m guessing they had another one to tail me- probably the one called Helpmeet. She followed me to the Pastel Rats’ hideout and waited until the Sketchbook of Tiveen was out of its hiding spot,” Twilight pressed on. “But I had a trick or two they didn’t know about, so they got a decoy and I got away, with Alexandria.”

“Why didn’t you take it from her then?” Johnny Respectable added. “I know you, Daresden. You could have done it easily.”

Twilight sighed, producing some twinges of serious pain in my ribs. “Because I wanted her to hoof it over of her own free will,” she said. “And failing that, I wanted to make sure that the buyer wouldn’t try to take it back once it was in the Church’s hooves. Which meant finding the buyer.”

“You set me up,” Alexandria said, a little bitterly.

“I saved your life,” Twilight said. “And you got paid.”

“Darn straight,” Alexandria said. “And I’m going to have the retirement of a lifetime.” Her cat’s eyes glared, then sank into somber thought. “For three lifetimes,” she said. “Poor Gus. Poor Fifi.”

“Which brings us all up to date,” Johnny continued. “A priest and two thieves are dead, and a bunch of demons have the Sketchbook. How do we get it back?”

“It would help,” Mighty Gale said, “if we knew what they were going to do with it.” 

“Would this duel of yours have anything to do with that?” Johnny asked.

Twilight shook my head. “I’m pretty sure the Nightmare Court and the True Canon aren’t talking to each other,” she said. “Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here now. Just bad timing.”

“In other words, a typical Daresden mess,” Lucky Star commented.

I couldn’t deny it, and Twilight didn’t see any reason to. “But as for what they intend to use it for,” she said, “I think that’s pretty obvious. Think about it. These are some of the angels who helped Faust build the world, right? And now they want to unmake the world so it can be redone to Faust’s original plan.”

“We know the declared purpose of the True Canon, Miss Daresden,” Pale Skies said impatiently.

“Well, I didn’t,” Lucky Star muttered.

“But we don’t know their specific aims,” the mystic bodyguard said, ignoring the mumble.

“Oh, yes we do,” Twilight said. “The Sketchbook of Tiveen contains a fraction of Faust’s power, right? It’s one of the tools She used to create this world, if I’m not mistaken. Which means they must know how to use it too, since they were Her assistants.”

Pale Skies considered this a moment. “The Sketchbook’s magic would resist the Fallen,” she said doubtfully.

“If they couldn’t turn it to their scheme, they wouldn’t bother with it,” Twilight said. “So they must have a way. And I’m pretty sure I know the method, and the place, and even the time.”

“The time is midnight, of course,” Pales Skies nodded. “The time when holy power is at a nadir.”

“Right,” Twilight said, looking at Lucky Star. “And they tipped their hoof on the method with Victorious. I think he was their guinea pig.”

“What?” Lucky Star asked. “You mean all those diseases Bitter Butter found?”

“Right!” Twilight repeated. “A disease curse that survives more than one sunrise? I can just about see a Fallen being able to do that, to a single pony. But that’s not what the True Canon wants. They want chaos. Disaster. And they want a lot of ponies they think shouldn’t exist to stop existing.” The muscles on my face were doing things I didn’t want to see in a mirror as Twilight finished, “Which means they’re planning to curse all of Equestria. And maybe the world. And they need the Sketchbook for that kind of power.”

“I see,” Mighty Gale said, nodding. “So they’re taking it to the peak of Mount Canter? So the spell can stretch across the whole kingdom at once?”

“No, they’ll take it to Celestia’s palace,” Mighty Fortress said. “They’ll give her the curse, and the magic will spread it to everyone she watches over.”

“Seriously?” Johnny Respectable asked. “You’re both wrong.” He looked at me and said, “It’ll be the train station, won’t it?”

Mighty Gale raised an eyebrow at that. “What’s so important about the train station?” she asked.

Lucky Star caught on quicker. “Thousands of ponies pass through the station every day!” she said. “And if the curse is slow-acting, they’ll scatter across the country before they know they’re infected!”

“It’s worse than that,” Twilight said. “It’s not just ponies going to or from Canterlot. Almost every train in Equestria goes through Canterlot. Every passenger train, every freight train- all of it. It’s the single biggest rail hub in Equestria. And it’s a magic disease, so even ponies who never get off the train will get it. It’ll be on the cargo in the freight trains. It’ll spread like lightning everywhere a rail line runs!”

“No, it won’t!” Lucky Star said. “My immediate superiors won’t believe this, but I can go over their heads to Celestia herself. She can shut down the system at a word. No more plague!”

“And no more Sketchbook,” Johnny pointed out. “I intend to have it back. Miss Daresden, our agreement is still on.”

Twilight nodded. “And even if it wasn’t, we can’t leave it in the Order’s possession. They’ll find another use for it that we can’t predict.” She turned me to face Mighty Gale and Shadow Lurk. “Which means we have to keep them from finding out we know their plan until we can strike.”

“Which won’t be until close to midnight,” Pale Skies said. “And you have a duel, do you not?”

“Right, right,” Twilight nodded, sighing. “Johnny, if I lose, you’ll hold up your side of the promise? Return the Sketchbook once you’re done with it?”

Johnny nodded. “If I’m around to return it. If not… it’ll turn up.”

Mighty Gale loosened her sword in its sheath. “I don’t like the idea of letting-“

“He promised,” Twilight said firmly, sounding really like me for the first time. “And on this I trust him. He’s on our side.” She softened a little and added, “Really, Gale. If you don’t trust him, trust me.”

Mighty Gale raised an eyebrow, but her sword settled back into place. “I trust you,” she said, with none of the tones that another pony might have used to mean I trust you and not him. “So we just hide here?”

“No,” Twilight said. “The imposter Victorious might still find out we’re here. He’s posing as a priest, remember? He could easily send somepony to check up on us.”

Shadow Lurk stretched himself. “Then,” he said in his thick accent, “it is best we check up on him first.”