Sh*tty Movie Night: Leprechaun (1993) (Patreon)

Rae’s Rating: ❤️⭐️🧲☘️🌙🌈🎈

Watch via: Free on Peacock or the Roku Channel. Rentable many places.

We were looking for something to watch over St. Patrick’s Day weekend, and after going through a list of arguably much better “Irish” movies (Boondock Saints, Snatch, In Bruges, etc.) we somehow landed on Leprechaun because of course we did. I had never seen it or any of the multiple, ridiculously titled sequels it spawned. I didn’t think I’d ever watch those sequels either but maybe this is a tradition now? Because why not watch absolutely shit movies about a murderous leprechaun on a day that’s lost all connection to the original meaning of the holiday anyway.

The plot revolves around an evil Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) who goes on a killing spree in search of his “pot o’ gold.” The leprechaun ends up in a crate in the basement of a house after Mr. O’Grady traps him there with the devious use of a four leaf clover!

Years later, Tory (Jennifer Aniston) and her dad rent the house for the summer and hire some locals to fix it up. I need to take a moment here to point out that the company run by Nathan, Alex, and Ozzie is called “3 Guys That Paint.” Seriously, it’s on the side of the truck and everything. Also, these three guys can apparently only paint in primary colors because they immediately start to paint the outside of the house blue and the shutters bright red (which is possibly scarier than the Leprechaun). And why do they start by painting the OUTSIDE of the house? Wouldn’t you want to make sure that the place was, you know, liveable?

While we’re on the subject, why did they pair the wise-ass kid brother, Alex, with a developmentally disabled adult? The whole combination of characters is just odd and there are a lot of dumb "laughs" at Ozzie’s expense as well as some legitimately sad moments… Like when Alex tells Ozzie they’ll finally be able to afford to “fix his brain” with the leprechaun gold they found. I mean… Jesus. Even Jennifer Aniston’s character points out that’s pretty messed up. Maybe they decided that they needed a naive, innocent character to unwittingly free the leprechaun, but then why not use the kid? Ozzie just seems out of place. And I spent most of the movie worrying that his guts were going to get ripped from his body when the leprechaun tried to retrieve the gold coin he swallowed.

Speaking of the Leprechaun, Warwick Davis does seems like he’s having a lot of fun, but any attempts at scary moments are completely undermined by all the times they have to speed up his footage to make him seem menacing. You can’t take him too seriously when he rides a tiny tricycle, roller skates through a fence leaving a perfect Looney Toons-style cutout, drives a Power Wheels truck full of stuffed animals, and a then gleefully kills a toy shop owner by bouncing on his lungs with a pogo stick (all while singing a little song about it). It’s apparent that the film is being campy and ridiculous on purpose, but it just makes the heroes seem incompetent for not being able to take out a tiny green fairy-man. The face makeup FX look pretty sweet though.

Some other notable moments: Jennifer Aniston feels something stroking her leg under the truck, assumes it’s the hot painter, and doesn’t IMMEDIATELY scream and flip out? Then the dad just straight up sticks his hand in a mysterious hole and is somehow surprised when he gets bitten. These people aren’t made for the harsh wilds of South Dakota. Later, when they’re trying to escape the house and the truck won’t start, the adults force the kid to get out and check the engine. They also distract the Leprechaun by throwing piles of shoes on the ground which he impulsively has to stop and polish because… he used to be a shoemaker back in Ireland…? (Ok.) Oh, and there is one very convenient patch of clovers next to the well at the house. Thank god for that clover patch or they’d all be stuck waiting for Ozzie to shit out that final gold coin the next day.

Honestly, this whole movie just made me mad that Disney+ didn’t renew Willow  for another season. Maybe I’ll just go on a murderous rampage until they do… anyone know where I can find a pogo stick?

Drink When:

• The Leprechaun mentions “me pot o’ gold!”
• They speed up footage to make the Leprechaun seem scarier than it is
• The wise-ass kid says something inappropriate for a kid
• Jennifer Aniston’s character is hifalutin or classist
• You laugh during a moment that’s probably supposed to be scary
• The Leprechaun stops to shine some shoes OR the movie focuses on shoes
• There is a not-so-subtle reference to Lucky Charms cereal
• There is a gruesome death or maiming by the Leprechaun
• The Leprechaun uses his tiny go-kart to flip over THEIR ENTIRE TRUCK.
• Finish your drink when kid the pulls a Dennis the Menace to finally finish off the Leprechaun

Recipe: Lucky Charms Martini

• 2 oz Vanilla Vodka
• ½ oz Irish Cream (Bailey’s or other)
• 2 tbsp whipped or heavy cream
• 2 tbsp crushed green marshmallows from Lucky Charms cereal

You can use a coffee/spice grinder or even a muddler to crush the Lucky Charm marshmallows. Save some of the marshmallow and use it to rim the martini glass. Then pour all the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice, shake, and strain into the glass. Garnish with a rainbow marshmallow from the cereal.