Chapter 731.5: My Elf Goddess and Me (Part 2) | [PATREON-EXCLUSIVE CHAPTER] (Patreon)

If you clicked on this chapter, just know this is the SECOND CHAPTER posted today, so you need to read the previous one first or you’ll be lost.

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Luke and Artemis went to lunch at a nearly empty restaurant inside the hotel. The place was quiet, tucked away from the main flow of traffic. Their table sat near a wide window.

“Okay, next question,” Artemis said, propping her elbow on the table. “Back in the tutorial, who were the five hottest women?”

Luke froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Seriously?”

“Seriously, man. If you’re supposed to become my best friend, I need to know everything from your favorite color to every woman you’ve ever thought was hot.”

“I’m this close to walking away from your divine order.”

Artemis smiled, way too pleased with herself. “There’s always the sex route.”

Luke took a slow breath. “Okay. Everything said at this table falls under attorney-client privilege, right?”

“Attorney-client privilege.”

“And just because I answer doesn’t mean I’m interested in any of these women.”

“I know. I mean, you turned down one incredible night with me, so I already figured out there’s something seriously wrong with your head.”

“Right... do I have to rank them?”

“Why?” Artemis tilted her head, her smile widening. “Do you have a ranking?”

Luke cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m saying this with respect.”

“Man, stop stalling and say it. Who were the hottest women in the tutorial?”

He hesitated for a few more seconds.

“Allison is first.”

“Ooh, look at you, you little deviant. Her, huh? Your ice friend. The first woman who ever made your brain short-circuit.”

“Hey. This is a respectful list. No intent. I’m just acknowledging objective beauty.”

“Okay, Ken. Keep going.”

Luke cleared his throat again. “Eleanor’s second.”

“Hmm...” Artemis wrote something on the clipboard, still smiling. “Continue.”

“Anne.”

“What? Well, look at that. You’re on my side. I also support the Luke-and-Anne route. Honestly, I support the Luke-and-everyone route.”

“Does it have to be five?”

“It has to be five, man. It’d be way too weird if I only asked for one name. Five lets me pretend this is normal.”

Luke sighed. “Angelica.”

Artemis raised her eyebrows. “Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.”

“I was trapped somewhere with almost no hope of getting out, and she was a charismatic leader. Also, she kept inviting me out for drinks.”

“Now that I think about it...” Artemis narrowed her eyes, looking wicked. “You met Eleanor and Anne after... well, after what happened with Angelica. So she was basically your number two?”

“Thiara.”

“Thiara? Oh, Angelica’s healer friend. What changed?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the part where she didn’t believe me and sided with the people who wanted me dead.”

“Fair. And who’s the last one?”

“I don’t have a fifth.”

“How do you not? There’s Evangeline, Erza, Ronan’s fiancée, those women you had to seduce, and even Layla. Come on, Layla was in the tutorial. She’s been with you from the start.”

“Evangeline is... I don’t know, more like an older sister. And Erza is a business relationship.”

“Got it. She has that wild kind of charm. The whole I’m in charge, and you’ll do what I say thing. Okay. Good answer, Luke.”

“For the record, I’m completely loyal to my girlfriend. And if she had been in the tutorial with her vampire body, she would be first. The question was about appearance.”

“Relax, no speech. Saying someone is beautiful isn’t cheating.”

“Maybe. But I wouldn’t like it if my girlfriend answered this question by rating guys, so I shouldn’t answer it either. But it’s a stupid question, so there’s no reason to take it that seriously. And again, Tutorial Luke was single.”

“That’s right, Mr. Morals. Now, next question.”

Luke went back to eating his pasta, trying to pretend this lunch was still normal.

Artemis looked down at the clipboard. “What if you were stranded in a desert, and the only source of liquid was my breasts? Would you start with the right one or the left?”

Luke snatched the clipboard out of her hands.

“Hey!”

He looked at the paper and went silent for a second.

“There aren’t any damn questions on here. I’ve been answering for nothing.” His eyes narrowed. “Wait... were you drawing a dick?”

“I’m a goddess, man. You think I need to write things down?” Artemis shrugged. “And yes, I was drawing a dick. It’s my version of a Rorschach test.”

“I’m not answering that question, Artemis.”

“Okay. Next. If you could have a car, what would it be?”

“A DeLorean or a V8 Interceptor.”

“Too bad cars won’t exist anymore on New Earth.”

Luke spent hours answering Artemis’s questions. Some were normal. Others were just absurd for the sake of being absurd. Still, he answered. Partly because he needed her Divine Order. Partly because, damn it, talking to Artemis was easy.

When they finished, she set the clipboard down on the table and looked thoughtful for the first time in a long while.

“Okay, Luke. I’ll try to put together a test. Usually, an apostle needs to perform some great feat for their god. Something like conquering a powerful world, killing a high-ranking member of a rival divine order, that kind of thing. It helps turn someone into an apostle.”

“Sure. Simple stuff.”

“I’m trying to take the friendship route here,” she continued. “So cross your fingers and hope it works.”

Artemis stood up. “I’m going to the room. I need some time alone.”

Luke watched the goddess walk away and stayed there for a few seconds, staring at his almost empty plate. Then he got up too.

He wandered through the hotel looking for anything useful. Information on the participants, clues about his mother, hidden details buried in other people’s conversations. The list of winners still weighed on his mind, and Luke checked her name whenever he could, like he needed to prove he hadn’t imagined it. He wasn’t being paranoid. Her name was there.

At some point, a hotel employee appeared and handed him several cards. Each card showed a different mask for the masquerade ball, along with its details.

Masks had meanings?

Luke hadn’t known that. He didn’t have the patience to find out. He picked the plainest, most discreet one possible, the one that would draw the least attention, even though in a place like this, trying not to stand out was probably the fastest way to stand out.

After a few laps around the hotel, he found Samael right where he’d left him, reading the same book.

Luke stopped in front of him. “You’ve been here since...”

“Yesterday, in human time? Correct,” Samael replied without lifting his eyes from the page.

“I’m impressed.” Luke sat beside him. “And Vaelor and that old woman whose name we can’t say?”

“The Demonic Blacksmith returned to his own universe. He has business with his pantheon. He only came here to speak with you.” Samael turned a page with calm precision. “As for that creature shaped like an old woman... who knows? He told me he was leaving to recruit someone from Earth and have them kill you. Someone named Zoe.”

Luke frowned. “That does sound like him...”

“But since he told me the name, it may just be a bluff. Still, he did leave the hotel. I escorted him out myself.”

“So what is he to you? Enemy? Friend?”

“He existed before I did and knew my Sovereign before I even came into being. After a few trillion years, I simply learned to coexist.”

“And those tarot cards? Do they see the future?”

Samael finally glanced away from his book for a moment. “It’s complicated. I can’t tell you.”

Luke ordered a drink and stayed there for a while, watching the other guests. People, monsters, entities, and things his mind refused to describe in detail. Some looked noble. Others looked like nightmares trying to dress well.

Samael broke the silence. “You still haven’t joined Artemis’s order. Did you refuse?”

“We’re still working it out.”

“Working it out?” Samael arched an eyebrow. “You just say yes and that’s it. You become a Follower.”

“She said she’d rather make me an Apostle.”

“An Apostle?” Samael seemed to consider that. “I see. That grants quite a powerful blessing. Mythic level or higher.”

“What’s the deal with these blessings? Are they really worth that much?”

“She didn’t explain?”

“Let’s just say her explanation methods are very... unorthodox.”

Like getting naked, pressing herself against him, or trying to provoke reactions Luke preferred to pretend didn’t exist.

“A god’s blessing changes depending on the follower’s position, bond, and affinity. An apostle can receive a blessing up to Divine level.”

“Divine?” Luke let out a low whistle. “That sounds stupidly powerful.”

“Even if you become her apostle, it won’t be Divine. Perhaps Mythic.”

“Does it only work at a high rank or something?”

“No. The problem is that this kind of blessing is extremely limited. A god would only grant something like that to someone with a bond far beyond simple friendship. Usually a partner within their own order, someone they love, someone they intend to marry. A divine blessing is not handed out lightly.”

“I see.” Luke rested his chin on his hand. “Did the World Kings from my planet get Divine-level blessings? I mean, they kind of married gods from the orders they were part of. Or at least had kids with them.”

“Who knows.”

Luke kept walking through the hotel after that. A few creatures approached him along the way, talking about their orders, offering benefits, promises, positions, and advantages. Apparently, a human fresh out of a tutorial who had caused enough trouble to become gossip among gods was an interesting investment.

“As the representative and first follower of our order in your universe, you could even receive a blessing above Ultra-Rare,” said a creature with too many eyes and a well-practiced smile.

Luke smiled back, gave some vague excuse, and walked away. It felt like Black Friday. The difference was that instead of salespeople trying to push appliances, cosmic beings were trying to buy his soul with signing bonuses.

Somehow, there had to be a way to tell whether someone belonged to a divine order. At least for gods.

He kept looking for Elizabeth Moon, but found nothing. No trail. No useful detail. No useful conversation. The mandatory events on the hotel schedule still seemed like his best shot. By the time he noticed, night had already fallen. Luke returned to the room and took the elevator with two creatures that looked like they were made of gelatin. They didn’t speak to him. He didn’t start a conversation. Better that way. When he entered the apartment, he looked for Artemis. Every door was locked except the bathroom.

Of course.

Luke opened the door.

The goddess was in the bathtub. “Hello, honey.”

A force pulled him a few steps inside. The door slammed shut behind him.

Luke turned, trying to stay calm. “Artemis. Did you figure out a test?”

“I did, Luke.” She smiled. “And the test has begun.”

“No. Absolutely not. We are not having sex.”

“Man, I swear I tried.”

“I don’t know if I believe that. Isn’t there some way to cheat the process? You’re a goddess, after all.”

“There isn’t, man. An apostle is someone extremely powerful inside a divine order. The system wouldn’t let it happen that easily. It’s tradition. Culture. Serious stuff.”

“And what a coincidence, sleeping with me just happens to fit that tradition perfectly.”

“Let’s be fair. A goddess sleeping with a mortal isn’t exactly easy. And we’re friends.” Artemis raised her hands. “I swear I tried. The only way around years of service, trials, and feats is if you have an intimate bond with me. Like I said, we’re already friends. That makes it the easiest method.”

“Then forget it.”

“But...” She shifted in the water, the sound echoing through the bathroom. “Maybe this goddess managed to find a way around it.”

Luke narrowed his eyes. “Listen, you absolute menace. One second ago, you said that was the only way.”

“Yeah, man, because normally the god isn’t practically begging the mortal to accept apostle status. This insane crap is only happening with us, so it’s trial and error.”

“And what’s this other test?”

“Physical contact that pleases the goddess.”

“No. I’m not jerking you off.”

“You didn’t even hear it.”

“I heard enough.”

“Okay, third option.”

“Third option? You little... you had other options.”

“The Trial of Orpheus. My trump card.”

“Trial of Orpheus?”

Artemis crossed her legs beneath the water, satisfied. Now she had his attention.

“In Greek mythology, Orpheus descended into the underworld to rescue his beloved, Eurydice. Hades made a deal with him. Orpheus could lead her out, but they had to walk out of the underworld with him in front, and he couldn’t look back. Didn’t matter if she was really behind him, if she got hurt, or if something went wrong. He couldn’t look until he reached the world of the living.”

“Did he make it?”

“Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I designed my own test. If you fail, you’ll have to accept the sex method.”

“I refuse. I’m not joining your divine order.”

“So you’re admitting you’ll fail?”

“That’s not it. I’m not gambling with something where the penalty is betraying my girlfriend. Even if I can win. That would be playing with her feelings.”

“My dear Luke, I want you to win.” Her tone became a little less playful. “But I had to attach a consequence bad enough to matter. In this case, betraying your girlfriend.”

“And what’s the test?”

“You just have to dry my feet and my armpits after my bath.”

Luke went silent. “Wait. That’s it?”

“Exactly. Using this special cloth, obviously, because I’m a goddess and I don’t use just anything. A delicate cloth for a delicate goddess. Obviously.”

“There’s a catch. There has to be. Just dry your feet and... armpits? Why armpits?”

“Would you rather it be my breasts?”

“No. Armpits are fine.”

Wow. That’s stupidly simple.

“Okay,” Artemis said. “Now for the condition. You can’t look at my breasts or that very tempting place between my legs, you can’t close your eyes, and you can’t get turned on.”

“I definitely won’t do any of those things.”

“All you have to do is shake my hand to seal the agreement. And listen, Luke: once this starts, there’s no going back. Even I won’t have the strength to stop it.”

“Put on a towel first before I turn around.”

“No. We’re doing it here in the bathtub. I need to feel comfortable. And relax, I’m not in the tub for nothing. I’m setting this up so we can cheat the system.”

“That’s extremely convenient.”

Luke closed his eyes and turned around.

“A few rules,” Artemis continued. “You can’t keep your eyes closed during the test, you can’t look away from my body, and you can’t cover anything.”

“Okay. And you can’t get your feet wet again after I finish, right? Since you’re in a bathtub.”

“Relax. I’m not going to do that. And yes, I won’t wet my feet or armpits again just to mess with you.”

“Then it seems fair.”

“See? Now shake my hand. And you have to shake it with your eyes closed.”

“Cover yourself first.”

“You’re about to take the test anyway. What’s the problem?”

“I’m taking this seriously.”

“Fine, killjoy. You can look. I’m covered.”

Luke opened one eye and immediately looked up. “Liar. You said you were covered.”

“I am. I didn’t say how much.”

Luke kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling and shook her hand.

A system message appeared in his interface. At the same time, his hand burned, and translucent chains coiled around his fingers and wrist.

“The test will begin in a few minutes,” Artemis said, handing him the cloth. “Here.”

Luke took it and frowned. “Wait. This thing is way too thin.”

“Too bad. You should’ve checked first.”

“No, I mean, it’s too thin. It barely feels like I’m holding anything.”

“That’s because the cloth magically removes the fabric barrier. You’ll feel whatever you’re drying.”

Either way, they were just feet. Normal feet. Luke didn’t care.

“And don’t rub hard or fast,” Artemis warned. “The cloth won’t absorb moisture like that. Be gentle. Take the test seriously.”

Luke crouched down.

The goddess lifted her feet out of the bathtub. The bathroom went far too quiet. Suddenly, a stupid task felt dangerous. One mistake would be enough. He had to keep his eyes on somewhere he was allowed to look the entire time, without glancing at anything forbidden, looking away, or getting turned on.

At least there’s no way this works on me.

Luke started drying between her toes.

Artemis let out a low, exaggerated sound.

Luke stopped. “What was that?”

“Keep going... slowly,” she said, her voice thick with provocation.

“What? Why are you doing that?”

He went back to her toes.

“Hmm... yes. A little more.”

“You little menace. You’re trying to turn me on.”

“Trial of Orpheus, darling.”

Son of a bitch!

Luke kept drying her foot while Artemis used every reaction she could to try to break his focus. He tried to go faster, but the cursed cloth wouldn’t absorb moisture that way. He had to slow down. The big toe, the little toe, the sole. Artemis’s feet were annoyingly soft.

This isn’t cheating. I’m loyal. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Fear of death. Fear of death. Fear of death.

Then came the hard part.

He had to move to the armpit.

Eyes on her body.

Not on the forbidden parts.

No slipping.

Luke carefully took her hand. He kept his eyes on her fingers, then moved up to her wrist, her forearm, her arm, until he reached the allowed spot.

Made it.

Artemis raised her arm.

“Be gentle,” she said.

Luke wrapped the cloth around his thumb and touched the first armpit. Artemis reacted instantly, making another teasing sound.

This isn’t cheating. This isn’t cheating.

“My armpits are delicate,” she said, clearly enjoying his suffering. “Don’t press too hard.”

Luke moved his thumb slowly, carefully. It took way too long to dry, even with only a few drops of water. The cloth felt like it had been designed specifically to annoy him. Only small circles seemed to work.

“You’re actually taking this seriously,” Artemis murmured. He could hear the smile in her voice.

Luke clicked his tongue.

He took her other arm and started drying the second armpit. His entire body was tense. Cold sweat ran down his back. Not from desire. From pure rage at being trapped in a ridiculous test created by a perverted goddess.

A few more motions.

A few more seconds.

Then it was over.

“Done.”

Luke drew in a deep breath.

His hand burned again.

“Trial of Orpheus complete,” Artemis said, now in her normal voice, without that forced provocation.

Shit, I did it.

One of Artemis’s feet grazed his inner thigh.

“Aww... I’m hurt. I couldn’t even turn you on?”

Luke stepped back immediately. “I did it. I passed your damn test.”

[The Goddess Artemis has recognized you as her Follower]

[Blessing of Artemis (Legendary) has awakened!]

Holy crap. Legendary?

Then Luke froze.

His entire body locked up. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t hesitation. Some invisible force had seized his muscles. Artemis was still in the bathtub. She leaned closer and wrapped her arms around his neck.

I’m trapped.

Luke tried to move, but he couldn’t. Only his eyes and breathing obeyed him, and even those barely.

Artemis’s face was too close, her lips almost brushing his, desire in her eyes. Her smile didn’t look playful anymore.

“Don’t do this...” he murmured, struggling to get the words out.

“I’d keep it secret. You know I would.” Artemis looked at him up close. “You can trust me.”

“I know.”

“Let me have this. Just one moment for us. No one else ever has to know.”

“I won’t betray my girlfriend.”

The force holding him began to fade.

Artemis sighed, but her smile returned, softer this time.

“You’re cruel, Luke. You make a goddess fall in love and won’t even love her back.”

She leaned in and kissed Luke’s forehead.

“Artemis...”

“Relax. It’s part of the process.”

[The friendship between the Goddess Artemis and the Follower Luke Moon is true!]

[The Goddess Artemis has baptized you as her Apostle]

She was still hugging him. This time, there was no provocation in it. Just a strange weight, unexpected, almost too sincere to fit her.

“Thank you for agreeing to become my first and only believer,” Artemis said, her voice dropping lower. “I promise I’ll do my best to take care of you. Even if I’m not half as perfect as I pretend to be.”

She kissed his cheek.

It wasn’t teasing. It didn’t feel like part of a joke or a game.

Luke felt something different through the blessing.

Love?

[Blessing of Artemis (Legendary) has evolved into Blessing of Artemis (Divine)]

“This is my gift to you, Luke,” she said. “I’m yours now. Your Goddess.”

Luke stayed still. Not because of magic. Because he was stunned. Artemis stood, wrapped herself in a towel, and left the bathroom.

Luke remained there for a while, staring at nothing, feeling her presence through the blessing.

Was she pretending? Was that actually love? She only gave me a Divine-level blessing because I’m basically the only believer she’ll ever have, right? That had to be it.

He went to the bedroom and locked the door.

Damn it... why did this horny goddess have to be so damn hot?

At the same time, he raised a hand to his cheek, to the place where she had kissed him.

Don’t fall for a goddess’s provocations, heart. Gods are selfish.

<< Chapter 731.5 (Part 1) | Index | Chapter 732 >>

That’s the end of the two exclusive chapters.

What did you think? Did you like the Artemis art?

You got to see a little more of her real personality, what’s underneath all the teasing and jokes. Unfortunately, I can’t post these two chapters on RR because of all the obscene stuff she does with Luke, lol. But hey, it was all with the best intentions, since she did get him a divine blessing.

So these two chapters are special because they show a deeper side of their relationship. And this is something only you guys will have access to.

If you liked Artemis and want to see her appear more often in the story in her physical Goddess form, instead of just as the necklace, I’d really appreciate your feedback.

And don’t forget, you still have one more chapter to read.