Chapter 1434 - Quality Time Before Dilated Time (Patreon)

Jake stood there, green from head to toe, as the goddess appeared. He tried to get rid of the color, but it seemed stuck to him and resisted anything he did, making him seriously consider if maybe becoming a Usurper wouldn’t be the worst thing.

“I like the new color scheme, though you may have overdone it a little,” Artemis said, not even trying to hold back a chuckle.

Feeling like a large, high-visibility traffic cone, Jake was pretty damn embarrassed as he rubbed his skin, and to his horror, found that the color had even penetrated through his clothes and covered every part of him.

“If we team up, do you think we could kill that damn avatar?” Jake asked, more venting his annoyance than anything.

“No chance,” Artemis shook her head.

“Still feels worth a try,” Jake muttered, scratching at his skin while trying to get the color off to no avail. In fact, whenever he touched his own skin, it got worse as it started lighting up, switching him from a traffic cone to a glow stick. “How the fuck do I get this off?”

As if summoned by his words, space quivered slightly as a bottle fell from the sky into his hand. Jake stared at it while reading the label.

Color-Gone! Shampoo (79-in-1)

“Most other Chosen would be both elated and utterly horrified if they had this kind of relationship with their Patron,” Artemis smiled while shaking her head as she walked closer. “Guess we don’t have much of a choice unless you’re planning to stay like that, though I will warn you it might make stealth harder.”

“I would have never guessed,” Jake sighed, continuing to silently curse the snake god for his shenanigans. “I feel like I should apologize for getting you caught up in his dumb jokes.”

Shaking her head, Artemis seemed more amused than anything. “I’m almost jealous. I’ve had a few Chosen I really liked throughout the years, but if I ever pulled something like this, they would have refused to clean their bodies no matter how detrimental it was and would go around bragging about the great blessing they’d received.”

“Now that does sound exhausting,” Jake sighed, really getting it. Even as a Chosen, he found it annoying to deal with all the people treating him overly respectfully, and it had to be way worse for gods.

“It can be,” Artemis nodded, still throwing him glances. “Perhaps we should get you cleaned up?”

“We probably should,” Jake nodded, having a feeling that without the shampoo, he would be neon green for quite a long time. Together, the two of them entered the residence as Jake headed for the large baths, only for the goddess to continue following him all the way to the door. He was about to ask if she would be joining him, but before he had the chance, he was pushed inside.

“I’ll scrub your back,” she said with a chuckle, following in after as Jake thought that perhaps he could forgive Villy this one time, seeing the final outcome of his little prank... though he did have a question;

Did the shampoo really need to have included at least sixty forms of poison? Because it felt super weird to drink your shampoo during a bath.

--

“So in the end, you lost,” the voice echoed as the Eastbound Monk knelt while touching his forehead to the ground.

“Yes,” he answered, offering neither explanation nor excuse.

“Are you satisfied with that outcome?”

“Yes,” the monk answered again. He may have lost the fight and this part of the event, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t satisfied with the outcome. All he’d lost was some extra Prima Credits and a year’s exclusion, while in return he’d learned much about the Chosen of the Malefic Viper and the Sword Saint. Especially learning about this Sword Saint was valuable, as so little was known about him.

Not to mention the insights he’d gained from the battle. The aspects of his Path he’d rid himself of with help from the two of them.

“You also told them of your experience with –“

The final words didn’t register; no, they were unable to be heard in the first place. Forbidden Knowledge, yes, but the monk knew exactly what he was referring to.

“They had the right to know,” he answered, for the first time offering some form of explanation. “These beings are a threat to us all. If ignored, it will spell disaster for the entire multiverse.”

“I’m not admonishing you. It was your experience to share, your story to tell. But you are underestimating the other eleven. You likely did nothing more than confirm what they already know,” the monk’s Patron continued.

“Even so, I will have done what’s right,” the Eastbound Monk reaffirmed his decision.

“That is the most important,” the voice said, sounding close this time, no longer echoing. “Now tell me, what insights did you gain? What secrets did the Wheel of Samsara unveil? What truths became clear to you?”

The monk slowly raised his head as he looked up and saw his Patron standing there, looking different yet again compared to the last time they met. “More than I could have possibly hoped for.”

--

“It had a zero percent chance of happening!” Jake argued stubbornly.

“We both know that it wasn’t, no matter how confident you are, but even if you’re right, it’s still the principle behind making such a bet,” Artemis said, looking rather displeased as she sat on the couch with her arms crossed. “Words have power. You know this. If you had somehow lost, you would have had to abide by the bet, or it could have hurt your Path.”

They’d just had a great time with Jake finally getting rid of all the paint, and after they’d gone to share some drinks and whatnot while Jake talked about the World of the Exalted Prima, until he got to a certain questionable bet he’d decided to partake in.

“There wasn’t a timeline or anything, though, so worst-case I could have put it off potentially forever,” Jake muttered, knowing he didn’t have too much room to stand on.

“Which would still break the spirit of your promise and risk hurting your Path,” Artemis sighed.

“Then... a donation of-“

“Wouldn’t work, especially not if you tried it at higher grades. They’d ask for natural reproduction for the best result, and given the low chance of success, it wouldn’t have been a one-time ordeal either,” Artemis said, glaring at Jake. “Which is why you shouldn’t make such promises in the first place. Not to mention that what you won isn’t even that great. A dragon egg? Really, that’s all it took?”

The more Artemis talked, the more he realized that he really shouldn’t have agreed to that bet with Aishalstromoz, even if he’d fully believed there was no chance he’d lose. He’d already realized back then it wasn’t exactly in his favor, but he’d still agreed, again, due to believing his odds were so massively in his favor it didn’t matter either way.

“Yeah... I fucked up,” Jake sighed, really not able to offer any proper defense besides the explanations he’d already provided. While Villy had also called him out on how stupid the bet was, Artemis not only found it stupid but had plenty of reason for also personally getting mad at Jake for having agreed to it.

“You did,” Artemis nodded, relaxing a little. “But you live, and you learn. Do be more careful about that kind of thing, though. Bloodlines are an incredibly valuable thing, and plenty of factions will do a lot more than propose bets to try to win you over.”

“I know,” Jake nodded, “And sorry.”

Artemis softened a lot after Jake’s apology and smiled.

He also couldn’t help but remember his conversation with Artemis about how it would be totally fine for him to have other relationships and whatnot. It was clearer than ever that she had said that only to be considerate of their difference in status, grade, and, well, at least a few billion years in age, while not truly meaning it. Not that Jake was complaining, as he smiled at her.

Probably shouldn’t say I find the jealousy kind of hot.

“But, I guess getting a dragon egg could be interesting,” Artemis said, proving Jake right that it was a good idea not to dwell on the topic more. “Of course, the Dragonflights will try all they can to still have some level of involvement.”

“Yeah, the Viper said the same,” Jake nodded. “We’ll see once I actually get the egg. I don’t think it’s something that’ll happen within the next couple of days anyway, not with everyone being busy with the World of the Exalted Prima.”

“Probably not,” Artemis agreed. “What are your plans for the next year until you return?”

“Well, after fighting Aishalstromoz, I moved on to encounter...”

Jake continued narrating what had happened, though he had to skip a lot of details and summarize many things as he couldn’t talk about the First Sage, while purposefully keeping much of the Sword Saint’s capabilities a secret out of respect for the old man.

Unfortunately, he had to deal with another god laughing at him for blowing himself up, but alas, he definitely deserved it. Getting to the part where he met the Exalted Prima, Jake also skipped over most things there, primarily focusing on the compensation he got in the form of the finger of, well, himself. Or a simulated version of himself.

“So you intend to study it over the next year in hopes of upgrading your curse clone skill?” Artemis asked for clarification as she looked at the finger Jake had taken out. “Curious item. I can’t even properly Identify it.”

“It is curious, but I hope to find a way to use it,” Jake said, not surprised Artemis couldn’t Identify it. The Viper hadn’t been able to either. “The Exalted Prima gave it to me after I asked for help with something to upgrade the skill, so it must at least be of use in some way.”

“Usually, I feel like I have some insight to share, but I’m genuinely stumped with this one,” Artemis said while looking at the finger, not even realizing she’d made a pretty good pun. “I’m not versed in using curse energy, and I have absolutely zero knowledge or experience with simulated worlds. Even the times you’ve summoned that clone of yours, I haven’t been able to see through it.”

“Definitely the kind of thing I’ll have to figure out myself, but isn’t that half the fun?” Jake smiled. “If I had more time, I would have loved to work on some archery, but I feel like Eternal Shadow takes precedence, as chances are I will need to be in the simulated world to upgrade it, so studying the finger is likely all I’ll be able to do. I’ll even enter time dilation with the help of the Viper while studying it.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Artemis nodded before falling silent.

After a few seconds, Jake leaned back and shrugged. “Well, last I heard, the Viper is setting up the time dilation chamber or whatever, and surely that’ll at least take a day or so, right? So if you’re free...”

“I do happen to have an open schedule,” Artemis smiled, as both of them knew exactly what they wanted to do:

Get some good food.

For the next day, Jake and Artemis just spent some time together, walking around the large cities within the Order’s Territory while both naturally stayed incognito, as neither wanted to be recognized and cause a fuss. During this time, Jake also learned plenty about the woes of Artemis and the challenges of dealing with the Order's internal factions, as well as the auxiliary factions working with the Order.

The vampires were apparently pretty easy to talk to, though they did request some old vampire-related items that the Pantheon of Life had in a vault somewhere, which Artemis was pretty sure only the vampires even remembered, as none of these items had any real value beyond their historical significance.

Dragons were naturally more annoying, as they were all way too arrogant for their own good, according to Artemis. She also had plenty to say about other departments and gods leading the Order, including the Verdant Witches, with Jake just lending an ear and letting her vent. Sometimes, one shouldn’t even try to offer advice or anything but just listen and let her get it all out. Artemis didn’t exactly have anyone else she could complain to, especially not when talking about other high-ranking and influential gods. She even dared to complain about how damn hands-off the Viper was with everything compared to Yggdrasil, who at least seemed interested in leading the Pantheon of Life.

Meanwhile, the Viper was closer to a protector than a true leader. He’d delegated everything to others and only made incredibly rare appearances. People considered him impossible to ever meet with, which Jake found a little funny considering the god always popped up whenever Jake visited the Order.

Villy was also nice enough to pause his constant spying during this day to give the two some privacy, something he’d let Artemis know, which was definitely the primary reason she dared vent about the snake god in the first place.

After a nice and relaxing day with Artemis, both of them sadly had to get back to work. The goddess had more meetings and some personal practice to attend to, while Jake naturally had a snake god waiting with a time-dilated chamber.

Once they had said their goodbyes, Jake reached out to the Viper, and not even a minute later, he stood inside a large room he recognized as the same one he’d been inside when he got his melee fighting skill by training with Sim-Jake. Fitting, really. Jake did have a question, though;

“When you said you needed to set up a chamber...”

“I meant it when I said that I needed to fine-tune the dilation. It took me a whole one-tenth of a second because I wasn’t in a rush,” the Viper said with a smile. “Gave you an excuse, though.”

“See, I don’t know whether I should thank you or kick you for dousing me in green paint that, according to Artemis, was so potent she wouldn’t have been able to remove it even if she tried her best,” Jake muttered. The Viper was right, though; it had been a good excuse to spend some quality time with Artemis before he had to get back in the saddle.

“Hey, if you ever want to learn how to make paint, you can,” the Viper grinned. “Kind of a useless discipline for an alchemist, but can be fun at times.”

“I think I’ll skip that lesson for now and focus on trying to comprehend the thin layer between the virtual and real, trying to bridge the gap as I seek to improve something capable of existing in between,” Jake answered. “Got any tips with that?”

“Nope,” Villy said, “But I’ll be watching with excitement. Oh, and for your information, I upped the time dilation a bit, and will be sure to remind you when it’s time for you to get out of there, so don’t worry and just focus on your work.”

“How powerful is the dilation?” Jake asked curiously.

“You’ll find out once you’re out of there and do the math,” the snake god continued to be a bit of an ass as he hurried Jake inside.

Relenting and no longer wanting to waste his time, Jake walked into the chamber, took out a mattress from his spatial storage, and sat on it with his legs crossed.

At the same time, the door to the chamber closed as the Viper spoke for one last time.

“See you in... well, again, you’ll find out once you’re done!”

With those words, Jake felt the chamber come to life as time itself warped. Everything seemed to shimmer for a while, and Jake clearly felt a pressure on him as he endured the feeling. After about a minute, the pressure slowed before stopping entirely, and Jake took a few more minutes to fully acclimate to the chamber.

Perhaps because it was his first time doing it in B-grade, Jake also vividly felt how concepts were somewhat warped now, and how even his access to the Gate of Enlightenment was cut off. In this state, trying to meditate and improve skills wouldn’t be the best idea, but fortunately for him, all of his practice would take place in his Soulspace.

Taking out the finger, Jake held it in his hand as he softly started infusing energy into it while closing his eyes, first intending to analyze the finger and get a better idea of what he could use it for... which kind of was his entire plan for this time-dilated session. The improvement to Eternal Shadow would likely take place within the simulated world, while this time would serve as laying the foundation for that improvement.

It was a prep time, but honestly, wasn’t that only to be expected? He was trying to improve a skill beyond mythical rarity, after all, and this time without the help of the First Sage.