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✨Don’t Break Into My House... It Ain’t Worth It✨ (Patreon)

Published:
2020-12-20 23:00:42
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Also, what the prehistoric duck are underwaters?

Liquid panties?

INVEST ! ! !

Files

Previews only

Comments

Elijah King

Don't threaten me with a good time

Paladin_Frost

For a moment I thought this was gonna get dark ngl. Happy to be wrong

June

Lol

Thor Odinson

On today’s episode of “wtf did I just read”....

Onionbro

I see this as an absolute win

Anonymous

You’re absolutely adorable Tea! 😂😂

Gawain

Jurassic Pigeon Bitch sounds like a kickass band name

Viltaryn

Oh boy can’t wait to see ur cameo in Jurassic World 3 💙💜💙

Wasp

I got the notification and was concerned you had been Doxxed. Don't scare me like that Tea!

Joshua

Feel sorry for whoever has to go up against tea

Vinny the Stump

Almost did a spit take. Thank you for the good laugh.

Jam Elephant

Next audio idea, Jurassic Pigeon Bitch O.O

AudioFreak

Are you worried that Santa is going to steal your stuff?

sa r dran 24

Welp, at least this set the message straight: Never get on teacup’s ass, cause you gonna get clapped

L C

I was terrified! I thought this actually happened to you when I saw the headline. :(

Anonymous

Jokes on you im into that sht xd nah jk

MUZaKM4K3R

Lol if I wanted to meet you I would simply ask!

Anonymous

Thats a hell of a defense mechanism i

Jeremy Knight

I straight up thought someone broke into your house.

Gnot

Can we PLEASE have this as an audio lol

Val

That’s kinda the same tactic I use if a ghost try’s haunting me. Just get naked and stare in the corner it’s in. Ain’t no ghost wanna touch that

Creed

I have to hand it Tea I was not expecting to read that and can see someone doing that

Anonymous

I mean...that is both a terrifying yet awesome mental image of a pterodactyl teacup hybrid killing people that dare enter her domain. I would love to be a fly on the wall to see that!

CurrentlyEatingPies

*In David Attenborough's voice* "And this is perhaps one of the most peculiar animals that can be found here. The 'Remittentibus Tea' more commonly know, quite simply, as Tea. Right now this one is performing a threat display to word off an invader, who has strayed into this one's territory."

Aneh Good

Stripdown to your "underwater". yeah. but nah i cackled when i saw pteodactyl LMFAOOO

Bryan Martinez

The finest security system money could buy👌

Noah Davis

You stripped down to your underwater!? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE TEA!?

JamaicanMeCrazy

This....this is why I became a patron. All hail the Jurassic Pigeon Bitch!

Avavago

Not your underwater

BATZY_66

This... This is why i am here

Meadiocracy

That's adorable yet a rather haunting image. That said I think we need a Jurassic Pigeon Bitch audio now.

Nosscheech

ROFLMAO!!! You know Tea you have to do an Audio about it.. LOL!!

David Frey

All I keep thinking of is this: Scientists now believe that when the T-Rex roared, it more sounded like a frog croaking. So the thought of you going pterodactyl made that image much more clear in my mind. I will also say the thought of you stripping down to your underwear was a nice mental image as well (Just proving I'm a degenerate). Me personally, I might first try the Kevin McCallister game plan for dealing with house burglars (aka the 1st Home Alone).

Anonymous

Im pretty sure at that point the robber would give you what they have instead

Shadowy Fox

"Jurassic Pigeon Bitch" in her underwaters. 😂🤣😂🤣😂 I am dying over here.

Camilo Iribarren

And this is why it is important to know some self-defense. And invest in a prehistoric park to buy a pterodactyl to protect your home

Frohawk

I'm willing to find out what underwaters are, for science.

CodyTheBruh

Alright when we getting the “you walk into the wrong house and get ambushed by a half naked dinosaur screeching woman” audio

JzTuner2035

Thanks for that i was in the middle of a bottle of jack and ya about jaked my soul ..dam it mate ☠🍺

PuRe

Now you Just woke my curiosity, what could your underwater be? And how do you expect Simeone to Back of If you are standing there half nacked?

Phoenix Brave Hideki

The fact you went all pterodactyl on a intruder is all sorts of awesome!

Carrington Michael Frayser

I know you think that’s a deterrent, it really isn’t. if anything, it makes me wanna do it more.

OutsiderHP

Someone call Sam Neill & Chris Pratt. We gots us a new species to add to the next movie. :)

BC_Animus

How is THIS not one of her audios?

Monte

I was just tryna get some virtual cuddles in but now I'm intrigued and ca t sleep

Blindluck92

Tea: "What the prehistoric duck are underwaters? Liquid panties?" Me: *actively choosing to ignore the likelihood that it's just a typo* "I don't need sleep, I need answers!"

phoenix

Do not joke I have sworn that if someone breaks into my house they will have a large, shrieking naked man running at them wielding like, a tissue box in one hand and the closest book to my bedside table in the other, just running and swinging his arms like a windmill. Perfect. Home. Security.

Joseph Brown

Burglar: You getting mugged kid! Tea: *Pterodactyl screeching* Burglar: AH HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

Nicki Løvstrup Hansen

*Goes B&E'ing on Tea's house. *Pterodactyl screeching and noises. Me being an absolutely degenerate: "You realize that's not gonna work on me, because I'm all here for that!"