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✨ 🍵 Spilling Tea 🍵 ✨ [You Need to Stop Waiting For Something to Happen] [Monthly Newsletter] [March 2021] (Patreon)

Published:
2021-03-04 15:03:48
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Today's topic: You Need to Stop Waiting For Something to Happen [In My Opinion]

So, in my humble opinion, enough things HAPPEN to us.

We happen to be born to our parents, we happen to be born to our genetics, we happen to be born to our class, our race, and our sex. All these things HAPPEN to us. We have no say in our start, and to a large extent, our childhood and adolescence. 

Enough things HAPPEN to us.

We’re supposed to the protagonists of our own lives, but how can we be the main character if we don’t make choices, if we don’t go out and MAKE things happen?! Well, in my unsolicited opinion, we can’t. Spectating isn’t participating. Seeing what happens isn’t making things happen. And hoping something will happen is no substitute for personal cause and effect.

The hard truth is: life rarely just gives us what we want. We’re not magically qualified for the job we want, we aren’t born with the body we idolise, and no one is going to just magically fall in love with us. All these things are earned through choices, hard work, and taking chances. All these things happen because we make them happen. There’s obviously no guarantee, but I believe there’s a better chance of us succeeding through effort than there ever is through chance.

We have so little control over the big things in life. We can’t stop ourselves ageing, getting sick, or losing the people we love. Life is full of uncertainty, injustice, and unfair outcomes. So, in my humble opinion, we should relish every choice we get to make. Choices are daunting, taking risks is frightening, but I believe being able to have a say in our own lives is a privilege we should appreciate more.

Freedom doesn’t automatically equate to happiness, but it stands a far better chance than captivity. Freedom is the ability to move, change and grow. And I would advise us all to keep on growing till the day we die.

So, to come full circle, please don’t wait around for something to happen. “Going out there” doesn’t mean you have to set sail on a great adventure. It just means you have agency in your own life. It just means you’re the protagonist.

As always, I really appreciate that life isn't one size fits all. These are just my thoughts, I hope they can be of some use to you.

Best wishes,

Tea


Comments

Anonymous

You are the master of your own universe. If you wanted to, tomorrow, you could meet fifty new people. You could read an incredibly good book and change your outlook on life. You could pick up a new hobby, a new skill, a new habit. All in one day. Push yourself, find something you’re passionate about, and better mood and mental health will follow.

AudioFreak

Absolutely! As the USA founding fathers said, we have the right to "life, liberty and the PURSIUT of happiness". The freedom to pursue these things being what is guaranteed, but we are not guaranteed anything else. But we certainly need to try like hell to get any of those things.

Blindluck92

I think... I've needed to hear this truth for a while. Don't get me wrong, I was never a passive participant in my own life, but I WAS a "captive" as you phrased it, for the vast majority. As a result, I was fortunate enough that all my best friends in my life actually DID just happen. As a child, in high school, in college. If I could have been called the protagonist of my story, then it was these few, wonderful friends that just seemed to come into my life from nowhere that I'd have called the main characters. Breaking that habit, leaving a comfort zone almost as old as I am, is going to be both very difficult and very necessary for me. So, I guess, thanks for the reminder of what I already knew yet often dont want to acknowledge.

John Folmer

Positive as that message may be, I am pretty sure I am the antagonist of someone else's story, which I am comfortable with.

Anonymous

I have to say that I agree with you on this one Tea. As someone who has had more than their fair share of bullshit thrown at them, in the form of both physical and mental health issues, nothing is going to change if you take a backseat and simply let life go by. That being said I also know how hard it can be to take the reins and start trying to "get better" in the sense of taking responsibility for your own life and actions. It's hard to start changing things especially when you've been stuck in a cycle of being a bystander and the only choice you've made is inaction. I started going to university a few years ago, because I wanted change in my life, and now I'm struggling to find the motivation to continue my education any further because of a lack of results, even though I know for the field I'm pursuing I need a degree to even get started. All that being said, I am an individual who struggles on the daily to just get out of bed in the morning, someone who has let the 'darker' parts of their mind run rampant for years, but most importantly someone who has survived and is trying every day to keep going. And let me tell you, taking control of your life ain't easy, it's probably the single most difficult thing you'll ever do period, full stop, all that. But it's sure as hell worth it in the end. I'm not even at the end and I'm not sure where it is but, trust me when I say it's better than sitting in that dark place and letting life go by. So give it a chance, and remember,if you keep taking one step forward then two steps back, turn around. It's sure as hell better than just sitting there doing nothing.

Anonymous

Wow this came literally at such a perfect time just as I was asking God for a little wisdom. I'm 18 and have no family, few friends, no real idea of what career I'm interested in and have been really thinking hard on it all. I have to play a super mature adult for everyone else and take on all the burden, while no one else is there to support me or step up to the plate. I've seen a ridiculous amount of terrible things so I don't get overly emotional anymore, just really struggle sometimes overthinking and whatnot. Maybe soon I'll buy a mic and use my voice to guide others like I do irl

Anonymous

Absolutely. I floated through highschool with no idea what to to afterwards, waiting irrationally for something to happen. I wasn't doing well mentally, and reached some pretty dark lows. When I finally realized nothing was going to come to me, I said fuck it and took off to a small tech school last year for a two year A&P program, despite zero mechanical knowledge. Now I'm in a great place learning a highly valuable and demanded trade, having wayyyy more fun than I ever had when I PSEOed at a 4 year college. Turns out working on aircraft is an extremely satisfying vocation. Hell I'm not even half way through the program yet and I already secured a well paid internship at an FBO/flight charter service in Nebraska. Skilled trades are often overlooked by those who choose expensive 4+ year degrees, but can be much better choices. I went from on the edge of being suicidal to on track to graduate debt free with guaranteed high paying employment. Moral of the story: This is your life, and your fate is up to you.

June

Thank you

Freitag

Funnything is when you finally Decide to get Out and Just then the world says "nope Here is a pandemic"

MadKlauss

I really wish I had forced myself out there when I was younger to see more of my surroundings but I let my past abuse get to me every time so I locked myself away from the world. Now at age 30 I have responsibilities piling up and always feeling so exhausted from them that any ooportunity to go out there and try something just seems even more exhausting.

J.T. Packer

I know that's what you're supposed to do. And I've been trying. But I've lost count of how often trying has made me worse off than when I started. I don't even ask for good things anymore. I just want to break even once in a while, and it's made all the worse when you see your peers live 10x the life you live with 1% of the effort. And that sounds mean, and petty, and jealous, but I can't 'try harder' any harder than I already do, just to make sure that nothing happens to make things worse.

Zero Gravitas

There is a lot of good wisdom in here: motivational framing that we have some agency, that some things won't happen unless we make them happen. Thank you for this. I follow an ideology that puts justice and community above individual desires. It's why just before the George Floyd uprising last year I joined an activist organization fighting to end race, sex, and class divisions, that wants to dismantle our military empire and police repression machine that serves only to protect the property of the wealthy. Through this organization I have found fulfilling work with like-minded folks who are some of the nicest people and great allies. I believe that this way of "getting involved/getting engaged" is the key to building community where our loneliness is diminished, we can claim a sense of purpose, and making a difference that capitalism just can't offer. This system is broken, and maybe we can't fix it: but it damned well won't be fixed if we do *nothing*. Starting to engage at 35 wasn't too late. You can't let nostalgia dictate your choices. Guilt exists in your head, it's not an amends: make it smaller by doing better today than yesterday. You will never regret that you tried harder.

Jeremy Knight

As a disabled person I can't tell you how much it sucks just waiting for something to happen. I almost never have control of what happens and I always have to rely on others to help me. People who have so much independance and can live the way they want to is why I feel so bitter about myself. Yes, everyone has problems but I hate that life is just passing me by just because I can't see.

Florian Fuhr

Thanks for the reminder Tea ❤️

LinceDorado

For me the problem that there is no motivation to go "out" and to do something. People say chase your dreams, but honestly I don't really have one. I don't say this to be edgy, but rather because I already have everything I want. I'm 22 and currently there isn't anything that motivates me. I'm not interested in making career or starting a family.