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Unpopular Opinion: ✨ LOVE SHOULD NOT BE UNCONDITIONAL ✨ [In The Very Best Sense] (Patreon)

Published:
2021-10-27 19:57:38
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Unpopular opinion:

✨LOVE SHOULD NOT BE UNCONDITIONAL.✨

We're often given this narrative that true love means loving someone regardless of what they do or how they behave. No one has to agree with me, no one has to believe what I believe. All I’m saying is that for me love is conditional, and it’s in the most positive sense.

The conditions are you are kind, you never abuse me, never try to control me or think of me as your property. These are the conditions, not if you don’t stay a certain size or don’t look a certain way, not how much money you make or how physically fit you are.

Love is a choice to care for and make someone a part of your life. And to me there should always be conditions around that. Like I said, you don’t have to agree with me, and if you think I’m unromantic or ignorant that’s totally fine. I’m just saying that for me there’s something really positive about saying “I love you because you choose to be a good person, for yourself and for me.”

So yeah, the conditions are you’re not an abusive asshole.

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Comments

June

Thank you 💕

Anonymous

here’s the thing, I believe is someone loves you they won’t do these things regardless. So that means that it wasn’t true love

Carl even

Yea your comments have helped me so much! My last relationship was an abusive one both physically and mentally she always told me no one loves me. It was tough to get out of it, because of your comments and wholesome videos you helps me out of a dark place. Love you

Devonbolster

I love so many people unconditionally i dont think i could think like you

OrionTheCloaked

While I appreciate and understand your point of view, I think everyone deserves love. No matter what. To me it is the second right we have as humans behind the right to live. Although I understand why that could not be the case for some people, to me unconditional love represents that no matter what mistakes I make I’m always worthy of existing and having someone care for that existence besides me really helps me grow. No hate here btw, just a friendly disagreement. Keep up the excellent work tea. Much love 💗

NiceGame Eh

I very much agree with this

Coby-O

Abusive and manipulative behavior is not love. No excuse.

Flux Goodra

I do agree. Thank god there’s laws that cover this: laws on domestic violence and pedophilia. Also I do agree about setting conditions if you’ve faced verbal abuse or manipulation in a previous relationship. There’s too many risks with love. That’s why I’m staying away from it until I feel brave enough.

JamaicanMeCrazy

Absolutely agree. As someone who was in an emotionally questionable relationship, unconditional love is possible. A mother's love for their child for example. But between two adults in a relationship? Absolutely not. You have to have respect for eachother first and foremost.

Blindluck92

Honestly, I recently set these same conditions myself. Ironically, it was because of an abusive narcissist who decided to place hundreds of conditions on the "unconditional" love she claimed to have for me and my family. Thanks for this, Tea.

TeacupAudio
>>70627856

I appreciate and understand your point of view, fellow internet stranger. And I can definitely see some merit in your perspective. However, I believe that love is a balance between uncontrollable feeling and active choice. For example, you can love someone, but still make the decision to cut them out of your life (due to their abusive behaviour or whatever reason, really). You can love someone and decide to move on from that. It's all about choice. To me, if someone abuses you, disrespects you repeatedly, I just don't see how that love can be maintained. I understand that everyone makes mistakes, but I think it’s like anything, it’s case by case. Things can break or mend dependent on what mistakes, circumstances, or people we're talking about. We're all different and we all have different boundaries. I just know what works for me. Again, understand and appreciate your thoughts :)

Timothy Shaw

I get what your saying but I feel that if I love someone I would still try to work through some of it and if they could change I would stay which is still a condition I guess. But I'm a strong believer in second chances as I've been given too many than I'm worth in my opinion, screw up too much and because I had one person who still gave me another chance I feel obligated to do the same.

Lachlan Parker

You continue to surprise us, Tea, and I'm glad someone else understands the logical control of love. It thought I was alone with this belief (with the exception of people I may never meet, or even know of), but I am so glad to be wrong...

Anonymous

I think it’s more the relationship specifically that has to be conditional, not the emotion of love. But ultimately I agree, and it continues with any relationship, not just romantic ones. “An unconditional relationship with a child will create a hellion. An unconditional relationship with a teenager, and they’ll destroy themselves and take everyone they can with them.”

Iron Piedmont

I agree with this statement. Conditions should be set when it comes to love. Hell, we aught to set Conditions for a lot of things.

Hazamatoxin

Nah I get this, I mean it's kind of hard to love someone if they are an asshole. I also do believe some sort of effort is required to maintain a relationship ( and I don't even just mean romantic here even platonically) .

Jeremy Knight

It's more of the relationship but I know what you mean. I don't think I can offer much but I could meet thos requirements.

Jason

This sucks to say but my own mom fell into those relationships where those conditions are broken. She escaped my dad only to fall into another relationship where my stepdad push everyone away bc he doesn't care for her family he just wants to be with her alone. It's so bad that his own kids stopped seeing him.

bag

I think the phrasing of "unconditional love" is misused more often than not anyways. Because I'd like to think *most* people take those conditions that Tea outlined and incorporate it into the relationship naturally.

Samwise Thebravee

I don't think that's what people mean by 'unconditional love'. Loving someone who treats you badly is obviously toxic and everyone knows that. What they mean is loving someone even in times when all they can offer you is their time and attention. The thing is no one gives a fuck about that anymore, you're not worth anything unless XYZ... fck that

XxBTExX

Don't think its an unpopular opinion. I often hear the same thing when it comes to loving your children. Yeah you can love your children but if they turn out to be a piece of shit your love for them has to stop.

Cullen Nash

Tea, I believe those conditions are very fair. Perhaps it is an unpopular opinion, but I believe we should all set such conditions.

Camilo Iribarren

I can understand this point of view and it’s within the ethical boundaries that are required for healthy relationships

David Murphy

I never thought of it like that. That is a VERY good point and I agree.

Acureas

If it hurts you to love them, it might be time to let them go.

Robert Malmstrom

People often make the mistake of thinking loving someone means that you go along with everything they want but that is just enabling, loving someone sometimes means you have to tell them the things they may not want to hear

TeacupAudio
>>70632403

Whilst I respect your post, unfortunately, I don't think "everyone" knows that abusive behaviour is toxic and unacceptable. Domestic violence hasn't decreased in the last twenty years, it's actually risen, and it's started with younger and younger people. That's what's so terrifying. People stay in domestically violent and abusive relationships because they're groomed into believing that they're not being abused. They don't respond rationally to being abused because they're afraid, gaslit, humiliated, isolated, and made to feel that what they're experiencing is normal. It’s very common for people who’re being abused to deny that their partner is abusive. Because that is their normal. Violence and control and submission are what they’ve been taught to expect. It's a terrible reality and it's something we absolutely need more education and support around. I think we might be discussing different things as your comment seems to be referring to a set standard of what people in non-violent, consensual, healthy relationships might expect from a potential partner.

IndieSmack

Unconditional love is essentially a fairy tale idea of love. In actual practice it's unrealistic for a relationship to work if there isn't at least some kind of structure and boundaries to it. Unconditional love is something movies and teenage romance beats into your head as "the ultimate expression of love" when in reality that it is being genuinely happy with someone, happy to be around them, and wanting to share experiences with them while still respecting each other's individuality and personal self.

Anonymous

I agree with this statement

VitAnyaNaked

I do not think that someone has now considered you unromantic, because your conditions that you listed are definitely not meaningless

IEatBeef69

Love must be conditional to have value. I don’t trust anyone who believes in unconditional love as a necessarily good thing.

NakedSunFlower

Of course, living with a cruel jerk is not great! Although some become just like that after some time in a relationship, that is, their cruelty and aggressiveness do not appear immediately. And then, unfortunately, the partner remains in a difficult position ...