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BONUS EPISODE: Cream For The Timemaster (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-28 11:52:52
Imported:
2026-01
Tags:

Downloads

Content

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Clearing up the ambiguity surrounding the return of cockfighting in St Landry Parish, how not to handle paraphimosis, and an all-inclusive holiday ruined by time spent in the backrooms.

***

Outro: In-Between - Title Fight

Comments

Felix459

Fuck, this one was good. “Keir Starmer nicked me mum to make Thomas” wrecked me.

hdx

Content warning for fellow residents of the UK: we take a real paddling in this one

Ceej

Lucy’s joking but kier starmer sold the nhs to palantir and now me mams a bloody servitor

John Harwood

I understand that your mom being a computer might be funny to you all, but when it actually happens to you, it is a painful experience.

Anya Hanley

Really enjoying Andrew making a statement and then immediately giving himself a "so true"

Matt

All timer

d'egg

I flew Southwest recently and I actually prefer their boarding system. You'd think there would be more bullshit boarding the plane but actually it all seems to go faster and work out fine.

Cyclops giraffe

Haha I'm an American with an uncut dick and while women have never been confused about it when they saw it lol they have been interested in seeing one for the first time. Then when they do they're like ohh it's still a dick haha corn flakes can be blamed for the non Jewish circumcisions here 😂but Italian Americans don't get them done on their kids or at least that's what my dad told me when I found out I had more dick than most of my friends

remote control animals

I love the Time Master; they are evocative of Raven from the BBC Scotland children's adventure game show 'Raven'

Sayanne

Black mirror looms darkly over the mum's a computer bit

dimwit

The Southwest method is great for Southwest. It got everyone to check in as early as possible so that they could turn around the plane as fast as possible. The downside is that you had to be ruthless to get a decent seat. Mythbusters did an ep testing a bunch of methods and the Southwest one ended up being fastest by a decent margin as well as the most infuriating.

aceplym

Interestingly, 'taking you from A to B' originally meant 'from Airport to Benidorm'

aceplym

Fair's fair we're bang to rights here

Jono

Honestly impressed at how good you’re all getting at your accents. Even Theo!

Help!

The BVs are reaching levels of podcasting heretofore thought impossible.

indicatrix

Feral episode, will never think of lucening the same way again

Chunky Spewster

I feel like aunties are comorbid with Ecstatic Spinsterism, whereas aunts are comorbid with owning at least one shirt about wine

mexicanhalloween .

I have no context for the "me mum's a computer" bit and that's exactly how I like it. Less context please

Matt Watterson

Imagine having waited in a line in a random place in an AIRPORT for so long that an employee with an unrelated job sounds the alarm.

James

This is the episode I’ll be playing to my friends during Freemium Freebruary

d'egg

I've uh interacted with...twentyish?...dicks in my day and only one of them was uncut. Could have been your cyclops giraffe for all I know.

Cyclops giraffe

Lol could have been a lot of people have interacted with it

Chaya

I’m a lesbian aunty and my cat is called Sasha

Ian Mackintosh

That was a feral intro overshadowed by an even more feral episode. We need you lot now more than ever, thank you!

Dave Ja

Some slag nicked me bike when I was listening to this episode

Xavier

The airline should get sued by the passengers who were on the plane not the ones who got left behind, 30 passengers less is a huge and dangerous weight and balance issue.

Abeatupbluechevy

Will you accept gay uncles (guncles if you will) in place if gay aunts? If yes Paul and Don.

Horse Badorties

Nah it was WW1 that gave us mass circumcision. All those boys with trench dick from uhhhhhh not washing.

Goff Daddy69

I cannot wait for the return of The Time Master

Tay M

I have a gay aunt Trudy and my aunt and uncle Margaret and Robert were definitely each others' beards (she wore wifebeaters and liked woodwork, he wore pastel button up shirts and loved crochet)

jacob

Accidental paraphymosis was something I really worried about when stretching out my too tight foreskin. Hope this episode can help some listeners overcome their fear and start stretching.

nickibis

They turned me mum into the timemaster's compu'ah!

Help!

I have two Lesbian Aunties in my life, Lauren and Laura, unrelated and un-married. Lauren had bunnies and hedgehogs at various times.

Lukeaqueer

To be fair, Manchester Airport is one of the Circles of Hell. Also: “IT WAS A DISGRACE!” & “I quite like liminal spaces.” are the only two kinds of British people that exist. You all owe me a massage from a Spaniard after making me pull my side from the hysterical laughing fit this ep put me into. ❤️

Russell Evans

As a begrudging citizen of the fetid isles known as the UK, I condone these accents.

Pat D

Same, but cousins, 'cos I've got gousins by the dozen

KillingVector

Delighted to hear on the second listen Theo kick this off with: Let's talk about something less gross Then straight into The Tortured Ballsack Infomercial