demo 97: it's a curse (Patreon)

hey! LATE NIGHT DEMO O' CLOCK, BABY.

(I think I've managed to correct the demo numbers now.. if anyone wants to fact check me, please do).

SO many of the traits I used to resent about myself I've come around to & learned to love in recent years. one of those is my attention to detail & ability to hold/see every side of a situation (I'm often much a 'I see both sides' type girl in an argument). when I was younger I worried this came across as anal / like the least chill thing in the world, especially when I'd go into my hyper detail-focussed work mode.. but now as I approach 30 (woah) I feel more comfy in myself, care a little less about what others think and with this new perspective I now see this part of myself as an absolute superpower. it keeps me focussed, allows me to communicate pretty well, rarely act on total emotion/impulse and keep a generally levelled overview of things. a brain like this has its cons (I really cannot switch it off) but it makes me who I am & the work I do uniquely me : )

anyway - this song is about navigating a friendship w someone in my life who is very much NOT like this! we are very different and I love that - our ways of approaching work/life/pretty much everything couldn't be more different. I'm interested by how those around us often hold a mirror up against us, allowing us to see ourselves in a new light.. and that's pretty much what that this song 'it's a curse' is about.

I really enjoyed recording the drums for this - some samples layered with tons of percussion on a single room mic. I treated myself to Baby's First Bass Guitar in January this year (every bass I've had so far has been borrowed!) and that lovely red Japanese Squire Bullet Bass makes an appearance on this track, driven through the lovely Soundtoys 'DevilLoc' plugin. (I recommend that one & 'Decapitator' for fans of crunchy/gritty tones),

lyrics here, mp3 file attached for keepsies. as always you can download that file and play in your own player, stream from the Patreon site or play/save offline within the Patreon iOS app.

your thoughts are always welcome below :)

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LYRICS:

I used to hate that I couldn’t round off all my edges

like holding everything including all my second guesses

maybe I know too much, store it u  p in my brain

maybe I should just drop it all down and stay in my lane

what the hell does everything look like though your two eyes?

are all the shapes a little easier and simplified?

you got that clarity

I was jealous of before

now I can’t relate to you anymore

I, I’m even saying that it’s worse, it’s a curse

when I'm reading every angle, every thought, every word

and I, I’m even saying that it’s worse, it’s a curse

to know, to see

I could grow to like this part of me

does everybody know that I’m seeing all of the colours?

it’s a precious little secret, I go undercover

they say the devils in the details, here I am

patterns are scary when you notice them oh but it’s true:

I probably blame you for things that other men do

and there’s no shortage of bullshit when you look hard enough

so I don’t look hard enough and I see nothing

I, I’m even saying that it’s worse, it’s a curse

when I'm reading every angle, every thought, every word

and I, I’m even saying that it’s worse, it’s a curse

to know, to see

I could grow to like this part of me

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love you SDC - thank you for getting excited with me about the new (official) releases to come! some other news coming your way tomorrow morning, too..

OG xxxxx