'inconvenient' lyrics & meaning (Patreon)

thank you SO much for the reaction to the new demo ‘inconvenient’ - attached here, if you missed it! this one’s been a long time coming - so let’s dive in. (*splash*)

realising you like your friend is inconvenient. being convinced your whole life you were totally straight & then realising you like your FEMALE friend is reeeal inconvenient. this happened to me a couple summers back, just before I moved to London. 

it didn’t happen suddenly, the realisation; it sort of happened over a couple weeks where we saw each other a lot. honestly when I first felt it I just tried to bury it.. it’s not that the thought of liking her was awful to me, it was just that processing a big new fact about me felt like a lot to get my head around whilst I geared up to take another huge life leap, moving away from home. 

“i’m running 

in circles

just trying

to avoid the truth”

in the end I TOLD HER because it was turning out to be the most colossal elephant in the room & it turned out to be the biggest non-issue of all time. I told her about how i’d been stressing about it all summer & we laughed.. once it was out in the air it really felt like the smallest deal. nothing happened between us (thank the lawdddd - she was my best friend & that rarely ends well) but I was glad we’d talked about it & along the way I learnt a thing about myself, which is A GOOD THING because I know that that understanding yourself & being comfortable with it all is just about the best feeling on the planet.

I wanted to nod to this feeling of acceptance in the song.. so the first time the chorus comes in, it’s quiet & timid.. and the second time, big & upbeat. the idea of singing the same section in totally different ways felt like a perfect way to symbolise how I felt at the end of that summer, when I told her how I felt. 

at the very end of the song there’s a time signature change (4/4 to 6/8) and this last section serves as an afterthought, where I put to myself “if she was a he, would I do this differently?”. lads, I grew up in Ireland, a country that’s becoming more progressive & wonderful by the day but traditionally is full of old Catholic mentalities.. much to my horror when my older cousin came out about 10 years ago, some of my aunties wanted to “hide it from Granny just to not give her a shock in her older years”.. whilst I pride myself on being a huge supporter (and part of) the LGBTQ+ community, I’ve aways had the remnants of these experiences right at the back of my mind, holding me back, preventing me sometimes from being fully open minded. so this part of the song is just me holding myself accountable - if you say you’re so OK with this, then why has it taken you 3 whole months to just accept this part of yourself?! sillllyyyyyyy orla. 

anyways, life was good then, life is great now. I’ve never felt the need to ‘come out’ but close friends know I like both gals & boys and if anyone ever asks me, I always just tell em! I’ve wanted to write a song about it for ages and was mega inspired by 2 things this month - the movie ‘battle of the sexes’ with Steve Carell & Emma Stone (I won’t spoil the plot but it’s incredible.. just go see it) and Elle Mill’s coming out video, which is just about the most real & joyous vid I’ve seen all year.. go watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDi7cezk9CA

love y’all

OG

xxxxx