'talking to the wall' - lyrics & updated mix attached! (Patreon)

The internet can be a hectic time over Christmas, so it's likely a few of you may have missed this December demo! whether it's new to you or not, it's a song called 'talking to the wall':) I started writing this song at the end of 2015, left it hanging in limbo for almost a year and stumbled into a voice memo of it once again in November! Bizarre but hey, I'm delighted it happened.

In a nutshell, this song is about feeling lonely. (to continue my ever-present theme of dark themes in happy sonic packages, lol). It's less about feeling lonely in general and more specifically about the loneliness of not having a significant other! The thing about me is, I used to be suCH a girlfriend girl. Back home in Dublin, aged 15, 16.. my friends and I would go to these godawful discos held in sports clubs in our area. They were truly, truly grim but at the time brilliant; dark, sweaty rooms filled awkward teens buzzing on red bull and 1, maybe 2 cans of very cheap cider. Where I grew up these discos were a social rite of passage and it was at these sticky events that most of us unlucky sods had our first kiss. The norm was to get your friend to ask theeeeeir friend if they'd be up for it.. and.. well.. it was just gross. I was lucky - I escaped the disco tradition and had my first kiss on holidays though OF COURSE NOBODY BELIEVED ME. damn it.

People-watching at the discos made me realise something about younger, more pimpled self.. I didn't care about kissing aaLLLL of the people, I didn't care to join in the competitions people had for how many kisses you could bag in a night (I kid you not) - I just wanted me a boyfriend. quality over quantity. And so I poached one after another; my mission in these formative years was clear and in these teen years I had 2 too-young-to-be-real relationships and then what felt like my first 'real' relationship at 17.

I thrived in a pair. Someone to chat to all the time, someone to listen to, someone there to heighten the highs and soften the blows. I was lucky to never really experience much fighting or relationship drama, so when I moved over to London I retained my gooey eyed, ever-positive view of relationships. Except then I wasn't in one. And heck, I knew very few people in this country. Besides, I thought.. I'm not here to put someone else first, I'm here to make some goddamn muuuuuuusic. And so I did. I stopped worrying about dating or any of that, I lived for myself and had a great time. It was.. empowering, somehow. 

Buuuut there were the lonely days and lonely nights, and when I began writing this song my friends who I'd always confided in were becoming busier, other friends more distant, and any time I had some insecurities creep in it they always seemed bigger in my head, simply for having no one there to rant to. I'm not sure if any of you watch 'Scrubs' but it's one of my faaave shows, and in it the main character JD famously talks to himself throughout the day. I've always had a bit of a habit of this, when I'm walking about or on my own somewhere, just chatting away under my breath, speaking thoughts aloud. (crazy? dunnnnno). So the title 'Talking to the Wall' was about just that. Crazy, mopey, lonely lil' OG having a natter to her bedroom wall. Weirdo.

"I'm not in trouble but I'm loving the thought of it now" was a dangerous and indulgent thought about craving a little drama when things felt particularly static. I guess the lyric sort of hints at.. heck, I'll take anything, I'll take a turbulent connection with someone if it means a connection at all. A lot of the other lyrics revolve around wanting to experience more, open up more.. "I wanna feel almost everything".

Let me know what you guys think, hope you like the song. If anyone else feels like sharing a thought along these lines (or indeed totally oversharing, as I seem to have done) be my guest. :)

ALSOOO! Note the attached file! A newly-mixed version of the song, for you your downloading pleasure. Thanks so much for all your feedback on it - I think it's improved a lot.. vocal more compressed and up in volume, low-end from acoustics gone and acoustics dropped in volume, making more space for the vocal to cut through. Electric riff's come up in volume too, egg shakers down.. a few tweaks when I listened through different speakers. Thanks for all your help with that, if there is anything else you'd like changed just shout! 

luv

OG

xxxxxxx