Life Update (Patreon)

Hi everyone! This is just to take a moment and give you some context regarding the last couple months.

This isn't easy for me to write, as I am a very private person. I kept going back and forth weather I wanted to share anything about my life, and I won't go into details further than what I'll write on here.

As many of you know, I've been balancing a day job, Patreon, commissions, and other furry projects for several years now.

I wasn't fully aware of how fragile my juggling act was til I had some major events stack one after the other, toppling the whole precarious pile over. I was already on the edge of burnout, but at least I had my main support system. Unfortunately, recently I lost two major players in my life; a serious partner from betrayal, and a best friend from a career change (we won't be able to contact each other for a few months after they leave for their new line of work). Two people I had around every day were suddenly gone, but I couldn't afford to react to it, as I am now alone and solely responsible for all bills and upkeep. There were also several other things to deal with so I pushed myself as much as I could.

That's one thing about life though; when you stop paying your wellness bills, your brain comes in to repo the whole system.

Working on the comics and other art became a shocking struggle. Writing and drawing about concepts like love and sex were making my physically sick. I wasn't processing my pain stemming from recent events. Eventually it led to what I can only describe as a total blackout in my metaphorical power grid.

I stopped functioning. I stopped taking care of myself, only skimming by doing the bare minimum for my day job. As much as I wanted to control myself, I couldn't. It's like I was hollow and every self-command for action echoed into empty space.

My memory is spotty over the last few months. Days blended and warped together. It's only fairly recently that I began to wake up and become more present again.

Gradually, I've been trying to establish a new routine from the ground up. I am finally arranging my living space to cater to myself and not just stare at the shadows of loved ones that used to occupy this space. I'm using some savings to be in therapy. Day by day, I'm trying to pick myself back up and figure out a better work/care balance that won't do this to me again.

For the first time in a while, I'm feeling a bit more hopeful for the future. I still have a lot of stories to tell, things to draw, and life to live. Thank you so much for sticking through my spotty updates, inconsistent schedule, and needs for time and space. I want to make your stay here worthwhile and I promise to bring my best efforts with each new day.