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Episode 620: Micro Machines (Patreon)

Published:
2024-06-17 11:00:09
Imported:
2026-06
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Stuart: Okay, listen. They’re cars, right? Wait, I’m not done. They’re cars, but they’re small. Certainly too small to drive, or even to assume the role of a conventional passenger. But they do make for a beloved series of top-down racing games, and as you may have deduced it is said drive-’em-ups that enter the hallowed pantheon of “Done Got Talked About On That There Retronauts” tonight. I will be your host, Stuart Gipp—hullo!—and returning to the podcast for the first time since No. 586: Retro Compilations we have my mate in real life Lewis Clark of SegaDriven.com, summoned for his known enjoyment of all machines microscopic, and enthusiasm for viewed-from-above racing in general. Also present and making his Retronautin’ debut—one Guy Kelly, a comedian, streamer and podcaster who I simply had to find space for. And there will be more space for G-Kells in the (hopefully) near future, in a different episode!

For now, though, small cars. And there’s quite a number of these Micro Machines games to get through, all the way from NES up until, ooh, DS or PS2 or yer phone or sommat. They just sort of gave up after that, but there are some indie pretenders to its throne. But none of them are Micro Machines V3, so short shrift is the order of the day. Actually, no, interesting chat is the order of the day, covering both the compu-titles and the actual small cars themselves. The kind of cars an ant may drive. Mega Drive! Oh, we also talk about POGs for entirely too long when we were supposed to be talking about Micro Machines. Sorry.

Unfortunately I was unable to secure an interview with the creator of the series, Michael Machines. I am, again, very sorry.

Art by Salem Sloane; edits by Greg Leahy.

10:05 - Micro Machines (NES): Title

21:10 - Micro Machines (MS): Racer Select

29:47 - Micro Machines (MD): Theme Song

38:14 - Micro Machines (MD): Theme Song (cont.) | Turbo Tournament (MD): Menu

48:40 - Bad Influence (TV): End Credits

59:13 - V3 (PSX): Challenge Menu

1:08:17 - V3 (PSX): Breakfast Table Radio

1:19:19 - V4 (PS2): Menu Theme

1:31:56 - Micro Machines (iOS): Menu Theme

Closing - V3 (PSX): Dining Table Piano

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Comments

Kormakur Gardarsson

Micro Machines 2 - Turbo Tournament is probably one of my most played games of all time. I swear the muscle memory of driving round that toilet seat course is seared into my brain still, 30 years later.

Taskbaarchitect

I have rhetoric! Three weird Micro Machines factoids from my head: 1. My first experience of Micro Machines is from when we went into our local corner shop and found that the owner inexplicably had a box of NES games to rent alongside newspapers and sweets. It was an extremely analog agreement -- you put down a small deposit and wrote your address details down on the back of any paper he had to hand, along with the name of the game you'd borrowed. All of this happened while you were at the checkout, annoying everyone who'd just come in for a pint of milk or something, but it hooked me on the series. Around three months later, the shop owner stopped renting NES games, and we learned that this was because his teenage son had come home from university for the summer and was understandably enraged that his Dad had been loaning out his game collection to strangers while he wasn't around to object. 2. Micro Machines '96 on the Megadrive had a track editor and I discovered that you could go "off-road" and fool the system, creating huge non-linear tracks, ramp mazes, loops, etc. So long as whatever course you made ultimately ended up two tiles away from where you'd initially gone out of bounds, the engine didn't care. I annoyed my friends far too much by making what amounted to "kaizo" Micro Machines tracks. 3. I had to sell my Megadrive and all of my games to pay for my Nintendo 64. When I finally got around to rebuilding the collection in the early 2000s, I couldn't locate Micro Machines '96 for love nor money. Eventually I bit the bullet and emailed Codemasters directly, betting the house and asking them if they'd sell me a copy of Fantastic Dizzy while they were about it. They not only agreed, they flogged me both games new in box for £20. I love you, Codemasters.

Andrew O.

I have Toybox Turbos from Games with Gold. Played it with my son and forgot all about it. It was a lot of fun. I'll have to re-buy it on a Steam Sale to play with some buds.

Patrick McClafferty

Mainly played Micro Machines on my cousin's Genesis. Also wanted to say as an American I only discovered Bad Influence in recent years. I watch a Twitch channel called OldTimeyComputerShow and it (along with Gamemasters) is in regular rotation of their programming.

Paul

Having just 12 minutes left, I want to give kudos on everybody's restraint in not doing an impression of the fast talking Micro Machines man. But then it occurred to me you might not even know who that is? Did they have the fast talking Micro Machines man in the European ads?

PosiVibez4evr

Never played v3 you 3 brought me to it what a fun game! Stuart reading his game gear directory reviews week by week like Diamond’s This Week in Retro would be ahhhmazing.

Angel S.

Yo, did somebody mention a thread somewhere about one-screen racing games, if yes can you guys pls share a link? Thanks!

Shrunken Shrine

Another episode laser-targeted on something precious to my past. Two of my closest friends became such over, for whatever reason, a copy of Micro Machines v4 on PS2 we picked up for £4 in our second year at uni. Ever 360-no-scoped a mate on the Boat stage with a full blast plasma cannon in mid-air while you both go over a jump? Then call each other every weekend for the next 10 years? Videogames are amazing.

Brian Silvers

Good episode. I listened at 2x speed for a more authentic Micro Machines experience.

TheLupineOne

Gosh, Micro Machines V3 on the PSone was my childhood! I still can't forget that triumphant fanfare you got when you won a Prize Car, and that groovy 60s typeface. Also: Keepsies! Race your Prize Cars against another player and their profile, winner gets ownership of the loser's car. And if they already have that car but theirs is of a higher level, the loser's car gets smashed with a hammer. Cruel.