This Month In Retronauts: August 2026 edition (Patreon)

I joked about the heat last month but now it is us bringing the heat as I welcome back Stuart Gipp and Jess O'Brien for a chaos-filled three-hour-plus podcast. If that sounds like too much you can blame me, as my voice threatened to give out at any moment so I loosened the reigns. If you approve of my methods, you're welcome.

I must also acknowledge up front that we recorded this on Monday the 24th in advance of multiple, painful celebrity passings. Rather than inserting an audio update to address these losses, I feel it is best to leave these conversations until September.

Please note the warning at the top of the show is not a joke: Parts of our unbridled discussion include, nay, embrace profanity and adult language. This is definitely not the episode to play at your weekend barbecue or bridge club when your friends or family ask you about Retronauts.

Specific items mentioned in this episode include:

Finland tried monarchy once but it didn't take

don't be like me, read up on rizz

Forbidden Solitaire

Picross: Juufuutei Raden's Guide for Pixel Museum

I think she sings the "mushroom song" when you pause/rewind the game

Raden has recorded audio guides for real museums (but only in Japan)

there's Hakone-themed DLC coming later this year

Yanineko aka Chainsmoker Cat (Netflix)

yani is slang for tobacco, neko means cat

Jess and Stu have Drawn Together opinions

(mine is: don't watch Drawn Together)

Onimusha Warlords (Remaster from 2018)

Hideki Kamiya's tale of Onimusha's inspirational bug

hololive Dreams aka HoloDori

Ys III: Wanderers From Ys PS2 fan translation

we have no dedicated Falcom episodes but we've covered their work on and off

Sonic Frontiers (which we discussed in Episode 510)

Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You & Iron Wok Jan

"friendslop" PEAK & Big Walk

Jess' rapid-fire list of unplayed games:

Mermaid Mask

500 Finger Filet

Esoteric Ebb

The Ratline

The Incident at Galley House

A Hand with Many Fingers

I endorse this very short game

Two Point Museum (new Cult the Lamb DLC)

High on Life 2

Final Fantasy Tactics

Sorry We’re Closed

the works of game developer Inkle

Bob's Patreon post (with audio) about his Retronauts debut

CONFIRMED: Retronauts will once again attend Portland Retro Gaming Expo in October!

but "Retronauts" does not include me, I can't make it

Marvel Tōkon out, supported by Capcom vets Neo_G & Akitomo

check out Deadpool's many, many easter eggs

Perfect Dark VR port (still in beta but looks FRESH)

BIORAND REQUIEM (early access)

no giant babies in RE9 although there is Chunk

Dragon Slayer on Switch via EGGCONSOLE

got its own Retronauts Mini episode back in 2017!

GSK notes "There's very little text, and the crucial stuff's in English."

Onryō Senki via EGGCONSOLE

Kerry Brunskill wrote a glowing retrospective in 2022

this one necessitates knowing some Japanese according to GSK

UFO -A day in the life- on Console Archives

1999 PS1 adventure game by Love-de-Lic (Moon)

GSK decrees this as playable without Japanese but maybe not much fun

EXPLAINING my joke: dokushō means "reading" (noun, not the verb)

never before released ZERO RACERS and D-HOPPER on Virtual Boy - Nintendo Classics!

Super Mario Sunshine also available, kicking off another round of "boy this sucks"

here's my 2022 column commemorating (?) 20 years of F.L.U.D.D.

Amiga shooter Apidya (1992) now on Steam as Apidya' Special

English patch releases!

Kamaitachi no yoru "The Night of the Sickle Weasel" for SFC

a 2014 global iOS version was retitled Banshee's Last Cry

Innocent Tears for the original Xbox

London Seirei Tanteidan "London Spirit Detectives" for PS1

Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway raked in ¥13 billion this spring

creator Gosho Aoyama recently said he's already "drafted" the finale but gave no indication he had plans to end the series

Conan's child-like condition came about as a side-effect of getting poisoned

LANGUAGE NOTE: Stuart says "biro" which is British English for pen

Culdcept the First newly translated/released globally on Steam (with demo!)

1997 Blackout finally available in English on itch.io

"Sometimes, these old, classic games can look a bit worn when you play them today. Some games age well, others not so much. I think that Black Out has aged very well" Valeur to the Nordic Times in 2015!

I cannot find evidence that the Harold Halibut developers ever claimed to make the "first-ever" puppet video game

Xbox (og) Backward Compatibility launches on PC with four titles

BLiNX: The Time Sweeper

Conker: Live and Reloaded

Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge

Fuzion Frenzy

OR use xemu which already supports 87% of the entire XBOX library

"Microsoft's jangling the smallest set of keys they could find at a moment's notice in order to distract from an ever-cascading accrual of malevolence, including but not limited to abetting genocide in Gaza, an insanely reckless overinvestment in AI and wave after wave of truly catastrophic industry-stunting layoffs whose victims include the steward of this very backwards-compatibility initiative, so fuck 'em." GSK

here's my Conker column if you missed it in March

somehow this brings back lots of puppet-talk

Stu throws down some extremely graphic language during this segment

new gifting rules on Steam & Wishlists also support categories now

great news for people with waaaay too many wishlisted games (me)

CURRENT WISHLIST STATS: FEIT 519, Stu 424, Jess 57

1:26:54 DO NOT BUY ALERT: M64 by ModRetro (a Palmer Luckey product)

skip ahead to 1:36:25 if you don't want to hear us complain about a rich guy

Palmer became the poster boy for VR then a gleeful arms merchant

he has strong opinions about when women (girls really) should give birth

please do not give Palmer Luckey more money to spend on his interests!

support "Weird Al" instead

coming to mobile in 2027: DCKO (that's "D C K O")

never mind that game, read the ongoing "Absolute" line of DC books

Hideo Kojima announces his preferred way to die: at the movies

speaking to a crowd in Rome at Il Cinema in Piazza film festival he said:僕あの死ぬときは映画館で死にたいとずっと思ってる人なんですけど。

Asked "why" he answered:映画始まる前に一番好きなんですよ。映画館入って電気消えてCMとかある予告編で映画が始まる直前で死にたい。

recent examples of how Kojima hypes movies he enjoys vs "I watched this"

Zelda movie cast news: we're going to see Sam Neill in Hyrule

Uli Latukefu (Alien: Covenant, Black Adam, MaXXXine) plays Ganondorf

Dave Bautista might be IS Kratos in the God of War show

Atari and Universal announce 10 movies based on Old (and I mean old) games

Asteroids, Adventure, Berzerk, Breakout, Centipede, Crystal Castles, Millipede, Missile Command, Pong, Yars’ Revenge

RARE NES game discovered: Super Mario Bros & Duck Hunt???

the place: Onestopwonders in Waukesha, Wisconsin

will be/is being auctioned off? Unclear as of this recording.

Sonic Blitz shuts down today (sorry, future listeners)

mobile card battler launched last year in limited capacity/territories

Sony patents AI agent to handle grinding when the player isn't playing

Microsoft now experimenting with pre-roll ads for cloud streaming games

only available to XBOX Insiders with an XBOX account, for now

with another Halo remake out in the world, Microsoft obviously fired the developers

newly independent Double Fine forced to layoff 23 people

the announcement actually reads as humane if you can believe it

meanwhile the Xbox statement was "good luck with that"

silver lining: DF confirms that game revenue goes to THEM not MS

Jess brings up South of Midnight by similarly-liberated Compulsion Games

Amnesia Fortnight 2026 coming to Kickstarter August 31!

non-Microsoft layoff news: Supermassive losing "up to 75" employees

Netflix continues to fail at games, closes two entire studios & cuts internal teams

Moonloot out of Helsinki, Night School in LA

Night School released Unhinged for Netflix just weeks ago!

Stuart Gipp's special place (of rage): James Pond Legacy: The Pond is Not Enough

peep the infamous announcement trailer & the official announcement page

then enjoy their stirring "nuh-uh" response to accusations of using genAI garbage

RIP Screaming Mad George (1956-2026), visionary artist

actually passed back in February but family announced his death this month

initial credits: Poltergeist II, Big Trouble in Little China, & Predator

Nightmare on Elm Street 3 & 4 (including the infamous roach scene)

real show-stopper: SOCIETY (1989)

directed a live-action Guyver movie in 1991 co-starring Mark Hamill!?

Society's Brian Yuzna produced, I don't see Stuart Gordon credited at all

parlayed his Hollywood fame into creating one (1) video game, Paranoiascape

let's celebrate what should have been his 70th birthday in October

Retronauts Episode 97 BRO-totypes debuted in 2017

talk of muscled men leads to hype for REACHER (s4 out now)

no·​mad·​ic (adj) has over two centuries of documented use in the English language

Jeremy recently posted on Discord that the Book Club will resume in 2027

I will not apologize for defending the original meaning of "begging the question"

or "decimate"!

Click this link to safely spy a bit of lewdness hidden in Wrath of Cortex.

the characters seen above are a mix of real & nonsense

Luger-who? Peep the premiere of WCW Monday Nitro for context.

delight in Japan's take on Crash Bandicoot

Muramasa Entertainment for hardware enthusiasts

Tall Rob's longer thoughts on Star Fox

DO NOT LOOK UP THE JUNJI ITO BURRITO you will regret it

Watch Jess' Return to Silent Hill dissection! And perhaps purchase Control!

For the record here's how Stu reacted to Geoff's stage show

"the dual bed with anime girls"

evidence in my favor: "Alex" ranks highly on both transgender men & women's lists

settle the debate, listeners: what does Stu say at 3:21:06??

Art & edits by Diamond (photo source). Music heard in this episode:

15:24 "Gimme Chocolate!!" by BABYMETAL as covered by ReGLOSS

26:21 "Cyber Space 1-3: Digital Cave" (Sonic Frontiers)

41:12 the epic theme song to Trans America Ultra Quiz and nothing else

50:14 "Over Capacity" (Resident Evil Requiem)

1:01:33 "Techno Party 1" (Apidya)

1:21:48 "The Internet Is For Porn" from Avenue Q

1:35:38 "Pac-Man" by "Weird Al" Yankovic

1:53:06 "Ground Theme (Hurry Up!) (PAL Version)" (Super Mario Bros.)

2:08:42 "License to Bubble" (James Pond: Underwater Agent for Amiga)

2:28:34 "Paranoiascape" by Screaming Mad George & Psychosis

2:41:41 "Tough Boy" FM synth cover

2:58:28 "Sick Beat" by Kero Kero Bonito

3:12:17 "Il Cuor non si Spaura" (Vampire Crawlers)

Finale: meet me at MoMA, Raden