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Episode 528: The Super Mario Bros. Movie (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-17 07:00:02
Imported:
2026-06
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Mama mia! The Super Mario Bros. Movie is here, and currently dominating the box office with the biggest global opening weekend ever for an animated film. It's clearly won the popular vote at this point, but is the first new Mario movie in 30 years worth its weight in box office gold? On this episode of Retronauts, join Bob Mackey, Henry Gilbert, Jess O'Brien, and Stuart Gipp as the crew readies their thumbs to assume either the down or coveted up position. Danger: opinions ahead!

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Wood Duck [Legacy Edition]

A good (if not great!) film and a fine adaptation given the vast, shallow expanse of source material. I laughed myself silly mostly at all of the most unexpected or non-Nintendo moments, such as the (comedic) violence towards Mario, Luigi going to HELL and all of the unexpectedly dark moments. If you bet me that Nintendo would greenlight a script where Bowser literally talks about KILLING Mario I would have put a sizeable sum against it! Having the jolly, giant bobomb king resign himself to his fate and DYING on screen as an improvised weapon was hilariously dark.

Roger

I probably liked the film a bit more than those on the podcast (though not much more) but I agree that it was a hugely cowardly and safe film. If felt like Mario through the lens of Hollywood-style humour rather than a true Mario movie. The lampshading, that was mentioned on the podcast, stood out to me - Seth Rogen giggling that Mario got the cat box etc. I don't know - there was something very SNL about it. The games express themselves with a lot more earnestness than the movie. The custcenes in Luigi's Mansion 3 had a more honest charm. I wish the movie had approached the material like that, in an honest way, without having to point out how silly it was. It is a difficult series to adapt. I think it might have been better to go more abstract; focus on action (like Genndy Tartakovsky) or experiment with visuals (like Spider-verse). Maybe stop-motion (I think Stuart had mentioned Aardman). Also, it might have been a more creative film if a Japanese studio made it (though I'd guess Nintendo really wanted to make a Hollywood movie rather than a Japanese one). I'm not sure. Personally, I think a full on Mario Kart movie might have been better. Race movies follow an established structure so a lot of the script problems this film had could have been avoided. Model it on Death Race 2000, Redline, Speed Racer etc. Focus on the action and visuals, let it be abstract. It might have worked. But overall, I didn't mind this film. I was surprised how little the cast bothered me. And I did like the quality and style of the visuals. But, story-wise, it was very bland; definitely a product more than a piece of art, which is disappointing (but also to be expected, I guess).

Kormakur Gardarsson

It's easy to dislike a film as aggressively bland as this but fair play to the panel for not making it feel like a pile on but rather using it as a platform for a very good discussion.

Shaxbert

I liked the movie quite a bit, but I guess I wasn't expecting a new classic of Western cinema from a collaboration between the Secret Life of Pets people and probably the most famously conservative videogame company in Japan.

Dyllon Ashton

I saw this movie in a theater packed with kids and they absolutely loved it. So much so that they burst into spontaneous applause when the credits started to roll. Not sure how meaningful of a metric that is, but this movie really is bringing its intended audience a lot of joy.

Jammy Cooks

His skill was his tenacity. "He doesn't know when to quit." My spouse who doesn't care about gaming and brought a book with them was ENTHRALLED. My 15 year-old niece was hooting and hollering the whole time. I thought it was a nice dumb 8/10 romp. It was slop, but slop was what I wanted!

Blake R.

everything about the movie has been said verbatim in terms of criticisms and praise, so my two cents will be that it took me out of it a bit to hear Scott Menville as a random Koopa who speaks out against Bowser. He's such a great VA but all I hear is Kevin French when he's not doing his Robin voice!

Mark

Disappointing they used a-Ha’s version of Take on Me when we all know Donkey Kong canonically is a big Ska fan and prefers Reel Big Fish’s version!

Guillermo Jiménez

Haven't seen the movie yet but real cool episode art.

Craig

I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen.

TeamVenom

Bob Mackey is 100% right, that Ryan Reynolds "Turbo" snail movie was pretty good.

John Simon

“This is a cowardly movie.” Not exactly a line you’d put on a poster.

Carlos Hernandez

It would have been cooler if all the needle drops were beastie boys or 80s hip hop like run dmc. That would have at least been a choice

MidnaMajora

Well, I thought it was really fun.

Gristlebeard McMoons

My kid and family had a good time with the movie. This was a slog to listen to.

LuvMyNES

Took my 2- and 4-year-old to see it. Didn't expect a lot from the film but I enjoyed it and my kids absolutely loved it! I was surprised that you couldn't find one panel member who actually enjoyed the film. As someone who saw the original film in theaters as a kid, this is the movie I expected. Yes, the plot isn't all that great, but maybe they can improve that in some sequels.

Eric Kozlowsky

I couldn't get through this, the negativity here was unbearable. I brought my 9 year old niece to see this and she now has a Mario poster in her room. Is drawing pictures of Mario and friends. That is priceless. That joy she has from this movie is the point.

Paul

I think there is value to a film that literally asks nothing of the viewer. It's honestly kind of novel. Every movie wants to evoke some kind of emotion or surprise you and honestly it's kind of annoying sometimes. This movie you can just look at pretty moving images and it doesn't try to tell you to feel any emotions or even think about the punchline to a joke. Sitting still for 90 minutes, and for the first time in decades having absolutely nothing required or expected of you? THAT is art. Nicole Kidman wants me to believe heartbreak feels good in a place like this. I believe that nothing feels even better.

Gayest Episode Ever

I liked the movie more than the average person on this episode, but you people using your children's joy as a justification for a thing being good are confounding to me. I've seen children play with cardboard boxes. I've seen them play with rocks. One time I saw a kid on purpose mash his hand onto a cactus, to see what the spines would feel like. You children are not awesome, and they have bad judgment.

Craig

Personally I would add a couple dollars to my Patreon pledge for a spin-off of this crew lambasting bad movies. Fantastic episode.

Luis Naranjo

I disagree with everything that was said aside from the stupid fucking Kill Bill track! I could’ve done without the ‘80s tracks, but I like all of those songs. It is hilarious to hear you guys hate the shit out of this movie. Feels good to not be in an echo chamber and just sit and disagree while sitting in traffic in peace. My expectations for this movie were to see a nonsense, feature length Mario game cutscene with the best Mario graphics ever and it delivered on that.

Clint Nieman

After Stuart gutted me and kicked me right in the childhood by giving Super Mario World an inappropriate and viciously low rating in the Super Mario Ranking Hootenanny episode, I decided I would never again listen to an episode where he weighs in on any part of my beloved franchise. Not worth it. I didn’t realize he was on this episode until I started listening, but once I got the vibe this movie would be mercilessly panned by everyone, I took a hard pass. Too bad. I loved the movie and was looking forward to this episode before I realized it was going to be an overwhelmingly negative review that is longer than the movie itself. I love Retronauts but this isn’t it.

Brian Silvers

This still sounds better than the Ratchet and Clank movie, which I saw in a nearly empty theater. A kid near me asked his dad if the movie was almost over an hour in, and I felt an immense sadness for one of my favorite video game series.

Komsomol General

Finally, a podcast where I don't feel like I'm going insane. This movie felt more like a commercial for products I alteady own, than an actual movi. Bob's point about not needing to feel validation for my consumerism is particularly salient, especially because i am sure that is where all this good will from gamers has come from. Bob, Stuart, and Jess make a great combo. More of them together, please! I would love to hear the perspective of someone who has children on this podcast one day. As a parent myself, I have had to balance my daughter's media intake and would love to hear the thoughts of others who are in a similar role. Thanks!

J. Green

I saw the movie and I liked it. As a 43 year old adult with no children I had fun seeing the kids having fun watching the movie. I meeaann, I came to watch a movie faithful to the main gaming series, and not expecting Inside Out or Turning Red levels of in depth story and character development. I got that in this movie. Considering narrative hating Miyamoto was the executive producer and the ultra protective Nintendo having Illumination in a chokehold I'm surprised it didn't fall apart and I saw a bit of the Illumination style humor snuck in a few scenes. Yeah the 80's songs and certain lines were eye rolling in its corniness, but it was watchable compared to that POS 1993 movie which shares very little to the games. But I digress. And Peaches is an earworm.

Hayden Scott-Baron

Retronauts is at its worst when it's mean spirited. I had to bail on this episode.

CitizenMeh

I enjoyed the film as a bit of lightweight fluff to kill an evening, and my Mario-fan nephew loved it but I think many of the criticisms are fair. Think it may have been interesting though if at least one panellist had seen it with its intended audience (ie. not grizzled 40-something podcasters).

benntendo64

You guys have the absolute worst takes on this movie. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. 👎

PurpleComet

I agree with a lot of criticisms you guys had but I had a great time seeing this in the theaters. For every lazy joke there was a reference or musical cue that made me smile. This movie pandered to my nostalgia constantly and it fucking worked. I loved Jack Black as Bowser and have had the Peaches song stuck in my head all week. Will it hold up on rewatches? Absolutely not. There are million and one problems. I also blame Miyamoto/Nintendo for the lackluster character development and Peach's nonexistent personality. It's a real shame they took out the original music for those distracting 80's songs. Hopefully the Blu ray will include a version with the original score. I'd buy that day one, it'd be my first time buying a physical copy of a movie in over 10 years.

Wood Duck [Legacy Edition]

Having listened through, I can respect people not enjoying a pretty mundane/safe/generic adaptation of a very successful IP... but some of the independant takes on how it could be improved confused me. Accuse Jack Black of just playing himself, I thought he was 100% playing the character independently as opposed to Po the panda who really is just unmissably JB. Somehow you thought it was just generic Illumination movie plot/crap, but at the same time positing "why didn't they add in a scene where Mario and Luigi bicker before their separation so their relationship is a stake whilst they're separated" which.... is also a blatantly generic and overused kids film trope? I think I respected the film more for NOT doing something like that. I also find the general fixation on the "father issues" interesting. Can't it just be a small quirk that two characters can relate to for 30 seconds, does it HAVE to be a film-long recurring theme with a juicy payoff merely because it was mentioned? Still I mostly enjoyed the episode despite having really had fun with the film!

zepplinmike

It’s interesting that I agree with most of your criticisms (albeit to much less intensity) but that I still enjoyed it and would rate it as “good”. In response to Bob’s response to people saying “it’s a kids’ movie,” I know you and Henry are both especially much more experienced than most when it comes to criticism of cartoons meant for kids, which I also enjoy as an adult and think those things are worthy of criticism and analysis. But unless I’m mistaken, I believe this episode is missing the perspective of parents who watch a lot of modern kids’ media and know just how truly mindless and plain bad it can be. Try watching things like Cocomelon on a loop for weeks on end or the endless amount of low budget crap you’ll find on YouTube and then tell me Mario is a bad kids’ movie you almost walked out on. Or better yet try watching an actually pretty great animated movie like Frozen only watch it 30 times within a few weeks. You’ll be ready for something new that meets a minimal standard of quality and find yourself pleased by the experience. I think we would all agree that things like Pixar movies would be more fairly categorized as having mass appeal and calling them “just a kids’ movie” would be unfair. So in the realm of things FOR kids, the Mario really is not that bad at all and I actually do think that is a fair qualification.

Tashmon Dimps

Wow! I listened to this episode on the free feed and had to sign up to comment on this episode (and get some commute fodder while I’m here) It’s weird, I agree with so much of what y’all are saying in terms of the Mario Movie lacking depth in story and character arcs, but I strangely left the theater in a more positive state than y’all. I think it’s a testament to how strong the visuals and soundtrack were. I think the artistic team HARD carries this movie, and I feel like I need to push back on the “no one cared” mentality a few of the hosts had. It’s not as visually inventive as a Spiderverse or anything, but I was captivated by the many, many action set pieces. I get that the jokes are kinda lame and the characterizations are a bit all over the place, but there a plenty of other movies I can watch to stimulate the part of my brain that wants intellectually challenging art. This movie is a spectacle first and a movie second, and I think it works really well as said spectacle. You guys are cool to dislike it. Bob and Henry especially have earned my respect over the way they respect animation over at the Talking Simpsons network. I just want to say I feel like it could’ve been so much worse if the creative team was similarly hampered by the executive meddling and focus group nonsense. I want to give credit where it’s due

littleterr0r

I'm 42, and I saw this movie once with my 16 year old daughter who had already seen it with her friends and said it was "pretty good" and then again with my wife who didn't really like it at all and I realized that I must have dozed off during the first time I saw it but both times I thought it was just okay.

Normallyretro

I liked the movie, I like you all.