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Episode 591: Gaming's Cruelest Challenges (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-05 12:00:08
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Jeremy: Good morning (or whatever), friends. Welcome to our therapy session. 

This week I've gone and invited three of my closest friends (read: fellow podcasters) to help me work through some video game neuroses. We've all played video games that randomly just decide "Hey, I no longer want to be fun or enjoyable" and inflict on players pure, abject cruelty. Join us (read: Myself, Ray Barnholt, Jess O'Brien, and Stuart Gipp) for two hours as we express pure, unvarnished rage about our abusive relationship with the medium we love.

Also, apologies that my audio sounds a little blown out in places—my recording system is having some power supply issues. I've ordered new equipment to remedy the problem, but that doesn't help the spots where it randomly fluctuated to redline volume on me here!

Edits by Greg Leahy; art by Nick Wanserski.

14:38 - Super Smash Bros. Brawl: Underwater Theme (Super Mario Bros.)

26:07 - Zork I: The Great Underground Empire (PSX): Prologue

34:27 - Monster Party: Dark Tower

42:42 - Ninja Gaiden (NES): For Your Love | Unlimited Saga: Battle Theme 1

56:38 - Chip's Challenge (PC): BGM 2

1:05:57 - Silent Hill 3: Never Forgive Me, Never Forget Me

1:18:37 - Predator (NES): Title Theme

1:29:54 - The Nightmare of Druaga: Dungeon Theme (Chapter 5, Type B)

1:43:40 - Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time: Hit the Road (Bonus, N.Verted)

1:57:41 - Atlantis no Nazo: Zone BGM 1

Closing - Red Dead Redemption II: Cruel World (Josh Homme vocals)

Files

Comments

Kormakur Gardarsson

Great episode. Stuart and Jess’ collective Crash 4 trauma was hilarious

Andrew O.

Long story short: Made it to world 9 of Lost Levels (SNES), friend came over, asked him change games as I went to another room for something, hear *chonk* and "uh oh", run back to see he hit eject instead of shutting off the system. Data lost. Also, I never played them until the compilation, but I'm convinced Crash fans have rose-colored glasses. Tall vertical sections where you fall and lose all your progress? Running towards the screen so you can't see properly? Sorry, but #CrashIsTrash!

Michael Castleberry

Lost Levels punishing you for doing Mario things is awful lol "Oh you were looking for a coin room? ENJOY A REVERSE WARP, or you can jump in a pit!" "Congrats! You managed to jump over the flag pole. That's also a reverse warp, stupid"

thatcamjones

Didn’t expect to be reminded of the woeful HHGTG C64 game today, but here we are. Thank you for sharing these traumas with us.

Jim MacPherson

I cannot express enough how much I enjoy Stuart’s contributions to this episode and in general. His outlook brings me back to those bygone days from before I understood the concept of a “bad game”, when I was just an 8 year old in my dad’s basement with unlimited access to his early home computing hobby and a tub full of shareware and pirated games. I truly wish I could get back to that mindset where “Hugo 2: Whodunnit?” Wasn’t brutally difficult and obtuse, it was just difficult— and as long as I threw myself into the hedge maze of bees enough times, eventually I’d be successful.

James Krusling

I was very happy Ninja Gaiden 6-2 got a shout out and Mario 2 Japan going first was the perfect table setter, I played the Mario All Stars version as a kid and while that was wayyyy easier by comparison to the original, I still shudder thinking about it. Stuart and Jess talking about Crash 4 actually made me remember that I played it when I got it for free on PS Plus, then bounced off of it because I couldn’t even get all the boxes in half of the levels I played! And you need the unlimited lives to figure the levels out so trying to do it without dying more than 3 times is the definition of madness and I washed my hands of it lol

Komsomol General

VoidB is great and should be on even more shows.

Wood Duck [Legacy Edition]

I've wracked my brains trying to thing of some "modern" examples of this subject but either I only play good games and/or devs don't make such poor design choices any more. The one example I can think of is Halo 2 Legendary mode. By itself already an insane-yet-satisfying challenge until you reach the point with Jackal snipers. Normally they're a dangerous threat who will reduce your shield to nothing from a distance but in Legendary they will instantly kill you with a single purple sniper laser blast from a kilometre away between two ruined buildings and through a gnats eye. In later levels merely poking your head out can get it blown off from some snipers perch on the far side of the current area you're in. Even in co-op mode, on Legendary the rules change and one player dying causes a reversion to the last checkpoint for both players. My brother and I were excellent at the game but eventually gave up Legendary mode in disgust as we tired of methodically clearing out a difficult area only to die to some tiny unseen enemy in the dark corner of a ledge before the next checkpoint.

Patrick McClafferty

The Crash 4 discussion made my hands ache from the memory of trying to beat just the regular game (not even trying to get the gems). Probably the most infuriating 3D platformer I've played in years and that's saying something because I platinumed prepatch Yooka-Laylee...

littleterr0r

Anytime Ray is back is a blessing. And that Jeremy fellow is alright too.

littleterr0r

What about Mighty Bomb Jack for the NES which sends you to a Torture Room for being "greedy"?

Shaxbert

Seeing the cover art, I was sure someone was gonna bring up my childhood trauma of getting to the next-to-last screen in the last castle of Alex Kidd in Miracle World and being forced to swim through that gauntlet of spikes. I could never manage it back then; truly one of Gaming's Cruelest Challenges.