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Chapters 9, 10 & 11 - We're back! (Patreon)

Published:
2022-05-27 12:36:26
Imported:
2026-06
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Happy Friday Everyone, I've recently joined a group of other writers that lifted me out of my slump and got me writing again. I'm up at 6am each morning now, working on Wildcards and my other secret project. Hopefully, you'll like them and will see the build-up I'm trying to do. Our next chapters are going to be getting into the game and seeing all the cool stuff coming into effect. New Heroes, Villains and some expanded backstories too for the existing characters. I've still some stuff to write in the real-world, but it's moving towards an exciting phase of the story, I think. Let me know your thoughts, and thanks as always for your continued patience with me. I hope the three chapters will make up for it a little. :) Brian

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CM

Hey welcome back. I'm looking forward to reading these new chapters.

SpaceGoddess76

This is another thing I noticed and if it’s off it’s work I’m sorry. It’s your webnovel so if it’s not how you want to write your book you do you and I’ll definitely continue to read it no matter what. However, as someone who’s been planning out a book themselves I know some times I’ve had a plan and don’t notice something that could help without someone else pointing it out. I understand why you started with Heroes and then switched to Heroes vs Villains. Why does it have to stay that way? With the expansion Fragmented Kingdoms couldn’t you add more faction’s instead of only Heroes and Villains? You could have different gaming Teams take up their own little area and try expanding their factions & kingdoms and then have other Teams do similar things & also have NPC only factions & kingdoms? This could add a lot to the World & allow for more scenarios to happen & more actual teamwork between groups to defeat other groups factions & alliances. I mean you’d probably have to put a limit somewhere to stop the Rich ppl/companies from owning enough teams and just creating alliances with each other but I think it could be doable. Perhaps get rival companies to each have a faction since they’d always want to try defeating the competitions team. I mean there is a lot of potential with your World and I’d love to see what more you can do with it. However this is your webnovel so you write it how you want & you can also tell me to “Fuck Off” if you don’t like the suggestions.

Will mILLER

No, I don’t think he did.

SpaceGoddess76

Not sure what happened to my other comment, but I felt it was the more important of the the 2 suggestions: I just caught up on Chapter 7-11. They are great but something I noticed that you started to touch on in chapter 8 & 9 but chapter 7 ignored. Plus it’s something that I feel James would have caught onto and shared his opinions on, especially with him being the playmaker. You have various classes that aren't very battle focused yet the Paragons are only looking for people who can battle. The person who wanted to get rid of classes could make for a good Player(Villain) in a social aspect, he could create a faction that does most battling for him and use charisma and words to build his faction and attack others in that way. He wouldn't have to be a top battler. He could go into other Kingdoms and create Rebellions or various other things. You have the player who wrecks Economies & while she does get selected you didn't talk about how she could be beneficial in wrecking the economies of the Heroes Kingdoms & factions or manipulating the economy of the game to aid the various Villain factions. There are plenty of other areas where you could have people who might excel at non-combat and work behind the scenes to aid the Villains and their factions or hurt the Heroes and their factions. It could be economics/trade/Etc or Diplomacy/Alliances/Rebellions or Crafting/Engineering/Etc or several other areas that could benefit from people who are better at those areas than straight up battles. Plus if they don’t attack a Hero wouldn’t they stay hidden? Allowing them do a lot more damage with no worries of having to fight the Heroes? You started to mention this with Ethan being a Monarch or JeffX being a Bard but you barely touched on it. You could have prayers who suck at straight up battling but are great at Kingdom Building or Managing. Or they could create their own Clan, Sect, Academy, Company or several other types of organizations and help change the world. Or have players who specialize in different types of combat. Such as players who can create a fortress and trap the hell out if the surrounding area but suck if it ever came down to a 1v1, they could also have a guard if NPC’s that protect them of anyone able to get past the traps, this could even be a base for one of the Villains or even their entire faction. Or people who take their time to observe a target & then assassinate them but in any other area they suck at combat. I mean you want this world to be open ended and allow more things to happen yet to cripple the Paragons by having them only think about battling and how good the person would be in it. I mean any primary battle focused class should be a great gamer but a social, merchant, crafter, etc class needs people who can actually accomplish similar things in the read world. While I like Elveria wouldn't a nurse or doctor make a better Healer while she would make a better social or merchant class?

Notcreepycreeper

Reread the chapter where they’re picking wildcards. Quinten explicitly suggests they should consider fighting each other and acting as individuals. All characters also have the chance to be sponsored by the same Gods. It’s less hero’s v villains than it is Abidden players v vendetta players, and even there there’s mark as the same sponsors can sponsor either or even both. More real world factions would make this too complex, and the justification for their creation would feel contrived. The current system has the potential for many new factions to arise, and even ‘Hero’s’ and ‘Villains’ to combine into completely original groups. Im excited for the future!

Notcreepycreeper

I like all of the game mechanics. But as not a gamer myself, my favorite part is the real world dystopia James is navigating. I hope those plot threads continue, and more of the society is explored. I also love that despite his new found fame, prejudice and discrimination continue to bar his path - feels more real, and adds depth. Finally, James is of ours pragmatic at his core, a survivor, but I hope their is resolution to his anger, not just him ‘wining’ by living it up at his new tower.