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Law on the Spectrum, with Peter O'Neil (Patreon)

Published:
2026-07-20 08:34:05
Edited:
2026-07-20 19:06:52
Imported:
2026-07

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OA1280 - Peter O’Neil was preparing for retirement after decades of practicing law when he learned that he was autistic at the age of 65. This realization inspired his memoir My So-Called Disorder: Autism, Exploding Trucks, and the Big Daddy of Rock and Roll, in which he looks back at his life and legal career to better understand how his neurodiversity played a role in both his most significant personal challenges and the unique professional talents which helped him to take on some of the largest corporations in the US as a products liability attorney. In this unusual intergenerational exchange between lawyers on the spectrum, Peter and Matt discuss their experiences and appreciate the ways that these so-called “disorders” have made them who they are.

Peter O'Neil is the author of My So-Called Disorder, Autism, Exploding Trucks, and the Big Daddy of Rock and Roll, this month's OA Book Club pick. Join him live for book club on July 26th at 4:30pm Eastern, for patrons at any level at patreon.com/law.

Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

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Comments

Gmork

Insurance coverage would probably be pretty good for autistic people. Very law/research heavy, usually fewer depositions. Once you have a carrier or two that likes you, you never need to chase down business at parties.

Status Quo Level Thing

This was a great break from the doom and gloom! Also a thoroughly enjoyable conversation and read. Looking forward to further discussion at book club!

Marc Epard

This was a great episode. I'm a software/data science guy and I recognized many of my traits. What made a huge difference for me is taking an "Assertiveness Training" class in my 20's. It taught about assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive behaviors and how to deal with them. But the best part was how to enter a room, engage in conversation (open ended questions, learn more about the other person), and then how to excuse yourself and leave. I've used those skills ever since.

Weyoun 13

Love the book and this episode so much! A lot of Peter's experiences resonated with me. Surely I have whatever he has, which is helpful as I've been on a waitlist for an autism evaluation for quite a while and wondering. So when do we host the first meeting of the Boston chapter of the Autistic Bar Association? 👀

Gmork

And particularly if you're on the carrier side, you're dealing with all nerds like me. No one expects you to be the life of the party or the bulldog tough guy. They expect the weird geek who can confidently discuss the Targeted Tender doctrine.

JB Ford

Wow. I bought the book to prepare for book club, read about 20 pages them something happened and I had to stop. Then I left the book at camp...which is about 4 hours into Maine. I'm currently waiting for my replacement. So anyways, listening to this episode was eye opening. One thing after another of things you guys are saying and I'm thinking same. I always felt different. From as early as I can remember I noticed I wasn't the same. But I had a perfect built in excuse- I'm adopted so obviously if I am biologically different from my family, that's why I seem to act different than them. (Total sarcasm because this is a ridiculous statement, but it was the excuse I gave myself). About a year ago, I made the first appointment to see a specialist to try and figure out why my brain seems wrong. I didn't tell anyone and then 24 hours before the appointment I cancelled. I didn't want to cancel but I did. I regretted it instantly, but I couldn't hit redial and say hey guys, sorry about that I was mistaken I do not have a conflict, can you put me back in? I refused to try again. Autism is being talked about more, but I started thinking of it as just the next buzz word. Anything quirky and it's oh they got the tism. A joke falls flat and your tism is showing. So I convinced myself that I was being sucked into this fad and I was just overthinking it. But I don't think it's a fad, I think I'm just finally mature and confident enough that I'm embracing me. I'm not hiding. For example I stopped with my pre event pep talks. I used to sit in my car and make a list of 11 things I was going to do to appear alright. Id pick out a person who was going to be there and rehearse a small talk question. Id start a list of small talk answers I could give. I would plan my hands, like I'm going to keep my left hand casually in my pocket so I remember to shake with the right. 11 small tasks. Not 10, not 12. Am I autistic? Is it something else? I don't know. What I do know is tomorrow morning I am going to make a call, and I'm going to resume my quest of discovering why I feel wrong.

Peter O'Neil

Thanks all for your comments and for listening and/or reading the book. It's been wonderful to get some feedback.

Matt Cameron

I'm so glad this was helpful, I know that Peter's book must have been too. I can relate more than you know to the experience you have shared here about planning out the details of a social encounter and studying people who seemed more comfortable than I was to figure out how they did it and at least try to learn what I could from them. I was diagnosed with social anxiety in my early 20s, but realized a few years later that the source of the anxiety wasn't any lack of confidence in myself as a person but rather in my ability to say and do the expected things and the stress that navigating all of that mental overhead was causing me. I guess in the strictest technical sense I may have social anxiety by some definition but I always knew that diagnosis was incomplete and didn't begin to explain the feeling of otherness that always overshadows even the most passing interactions with strangers and other people who don't already know me well. Everything you have described here is familiar to me, as I know it is to many other listeners. And don't worry too much about a formal diagnosis, as I'm sure you know they are extremely expensive and time consuming and imo if you have found yourself nodding along to the many lists of possible indicators of autism every time you read them (as I think you likely may from what you have written here) and you are better off finding a therapist who is especially experienced with people on the spectrum