$5+ patrons only: the proto-demo & lyrics for "The Refugee/(In Harm's Way)" (Patreon)

(if you're getting this, you're also in the $10+ tier, and thus!!! a REMINDER that the webchat i'm doing tomorrow - sunday nov 5th - has been slightly shifted to 9:30 am EST (it was 11)!! if i can get up, you can get up! I AM PLAYING A ROCK SHOW THE NIGHT BEFORE!! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. see you all there. i am really excited to talk about all the weird shit that's been happening).

the dresden dolls show in boston last night was SICK. we played for THREEEEE HOURS. 

i am recovering at home with a book for the day and if i'm ambitious i'll get to yoga. we do it all again tonight.

SOOOOOoooOOO.....

it's been awhile since i have had tasty tasy bonus-tier-treats for you, and there's a lot more coming. i've been keeping tidbits but i've been mostly rolling to fast/disorganized/behind to bestow on you all the treats i've been tossing in the $5 shoebox....i won't pile them all on you at once, but i'm starting to catch up....

we BEGIN!!!! here is the original demo (and an email, and the original lyrics) of the song that eventually became "in harm's way". read the project page for more of the backstory....i'll paste the pertinent bit below for you. if you don't know meow, she's a FORCE - an incredible/impossible-to-define/cabaret/comedian/kamikaze-blitz-performer who's been a dear friend of mine since i met her at edinburgh fringe many years ago. i love her a lot. we've been talking for ages about doing some kind of project together and maybe the time is coming....

.......from the project page:

........................

two weeks later, i gave birth to ash in the woods of tenessee, far away from the news, far away from everything. my kamikaze-cabaret friend meow meow called and told me she was working on an original meow-style production of hans christen anderson’s “the little mermaid” for the malthouse in melbourne, and would i contribute a song?

i wanted to. but couldn’t. i barely had time to pee or answer my texts or make a bowl of soup. i’d just given birth. i told her i wanted to, but i just… couldn’t find the mental or physical time.

a few months later, in december, after we’d gotten back from our birth-journey and visiting some relatives, i was home with ash in boston and neil was off…somewhere.
meow called me at 5pm. the show was going into production in a week, she said, but she was still short one song. she needed a song where the little mermaid was standing on one shore, looking at the other, and trying to make sense of love and loss.

DON’T DO THIS TO ME, MEOW. we talked for an hour about love. and loss. and water. and pain. and healing. and all the things. while i cradled and nursed a baby.

i told her there was almost no chance in hell i’d be able to write anything. babies and empty apartments and pianos just don’t match. (this was all before i discovered the wonders of babysitters).

and then – as fate would have it – ash decided to take a spontaneous baby nap.

i sat down at the piano in my boston apartment and wrote the first draft of “in harm’s way”….which, at the time, i titled “the refugee’s brother.”
i sent it to meow in the morning. i said it was the best i could do during a baby nap. but i was proud of it: it captured something.

meow took it off to its own arrangement-world, tweaked the lyrics a little, and created something beautiful out of it (you’ll be able to hear when she releases the official CD for her show), and i stuck the song in a box.

...........

so, for you....

below is the email i sent meow birthing the song, which at the time i titled "the refugee". 

i'm using an old picture of me & meow meow on this post for good measure. (taken around 2010/11 when i was putting the grand theft orchestra together).

lyrics and download for the demo, below:

download the demo HERE:
https://we.tl/6ikIr6wnLP

this super-super-demo stuff isn't for sharing on the internet ,ok? please keep it for you only. thanks, friends.

I LOVE YOU.

xxxx

AFP

From: amanda palmer
To: Meow Meow
Subject: you kill me. i wrote a thing.
Date: December 2, 2015 at 4:03:28 AM EST

couldn’t sleep.
wrote.
once you said refugees of course i couldn’t get that godforsaken fucking turkish photo out of my mind.
don’t think me insensitive, i know what weight it holds.
it was the only inspiration and the end wrote the beginning.
alternates with pronouns all yours.
i.e.: “i cross / even though i…"
alternates, for irony:
“we cross through we barely understand/we cross even though we understand”:

i’m easy on cutting/splicing. this is yours to use or not.
happy for chords to change in arrangement.
will you let nice malthouse lady know i sent it in?
collapsing to sleep.

titled it “the refugee’s brother” b/c that was original viewpoint but doesnt work in the end.

so just calling it


the refugee.

there is very little left for me to do
standing on the precipice of me
and you
are standing where the ocean meets the sand
we cross even though we understand
the grass is always greener on the land

there is very little left for me to do
standing on the precipice of me
and you
are standing where the boats arrive at night
i see the ones before me disappearing into light

once you’ve paid for passage
there’s nothing you can do
i reached my hands out backwards
but i’d left myself ….

for you

there is very little left for me to do
standing on the precipice of me
and you
are standing where the ocean meets the land
we cross even though we understand
we cross even though we see
the child in the sand