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THE COUCH OF TRUTH: Episode Three "Grief: And It's Going To Hurt" {official Thing} (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-13 22:35:21
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

It's that time again...community weekly therapy on The Couch Of Truth!!

TL;DR Episode Three of The Couch of Truth, titled "Grief: And It's Going To Hurt" is up now on YouTube and Vimeo. As with the last couple, I'll be posting these to social media next week, but feel free to share if they resonate. I AM THE OPPOSITE OF A GOOD MARKETING PERSON, I KNOW. Help me out.

The episode is embedded at the top of this post, or you can see the full three-episode playlist so far here on YouTube or here on Vimeo.

......

First of all...I want to thank all the people who have been posting loving and positive and grateful feedback about videos #1 (which deals with suicide & mental health) and #2 (which covers miscarriage).  

I made these for US. For the community. I did not make them to go "viral on youtube". I made them during the There Will Be No Intermission tour because I was starting to feel that everything was so one-sided....I was pouring my stage out every night to YOU, but I wanted you to be able to pour your hearts back. At least some of you. And some of you did. That's what this is. So seeing the comments on youtube (and here) that these videos are making you think, and feel, and especially feel less alone...that's why I do any of this shit. I love you all so much. Keep it coming. If something connects, write about it, tell us, tell me, make a private thread on the shadowbox. We're a family. Connect.

That's why we're here.

..............

The full backstory on how this project came about is in the post for the first episode ("Suicide & Mental Health: Three Stories") so if this is new to you, or you've just joined the patreon.....I'd encourage you to go catch up:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/54178798

......

A little deeper dive into this episode.....

(photo by Stephanie Zakas)

This topic is maybe the most universal we've covered on the couch. 

Not everybody is going to struggle with reproduction issues....but WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. And deal with people dying.

It's the truth. Almost definitely: we are all going to experience the loss of people we love. The three brave couch guests bared their hearts open to talk about...what it's like.

It's a downer, sometimes. But also an upper. We talk about how how people live on and don't TOTALLY die... and we talk about kittens.

Though these were filmed pre-covid, I can't imagine - with all the mortality-grappling we've been doing this year - that these won't resonate pretty deeply.

......

Of course, a huge thank you to all three of these beautiful souls who shared their heart-stories with us...

These videos were filmed in March 2019, and I'm sure we can all imagine how much shit has happened in the 2.5 years since then. 

Here are some words from Nicki to give y'all an update...

I'm a massage therapist with a home-based practice for women and genderqueer people in Toronto. Nothing can prepare you for being a healthcare provider during a global pandemic. I thought nobody would ever want to receive a massage again and that I would need to permanently close my practice. Instead, what I've learned is my services are needed now more than ever. With stress levels and loneliness at an all-time high, people are touch-starved and longing for connection. I'm honoured to live in a part of the world where what I do is considered essential and where I'm able to help people navigate these challenging times. Thank you, Amanda, for the comfort you may not even know you provide.

(photo by John Atacan)

......

If you're feeling contemplative and in the mood for some musical comfort after watching the couch clip, may I recommend "Death Thing" off the last record you all helped me make.

It's over here on Bandcamp, or here on YouTube 

It's a nice pairing.

......

And just as a reminder, the final two episodes of The Couch of Truth will be coming out over the next two weeks....

"ABORTION: THREE STORIES"

......

"HAVING A KID... OR NOT: TWO STORIES ABOUT BEING OKAY"

......

CREDITS:

Cast:
Amanda Palmer
Gabriel
Amanda
Nicki  

Director / Producer:
Jenessa Joffe  

Field Producer:
Lora Campbell  

Director of Photography:
Nyssa Gluck  

Camera Operators:
Chantal Garcia
Danielle Thorn  

Location Sound:
Bridget Tang  

Hair / Make-Up Artist:
Sahar Junejo  

Production Assistants:
Lindsay Duncan
Sarah JM Kolberg  

Editors:
Cindy Long
Caddie Hastings
Matt Marhefka
Penda Diakité  

Re-Recording Mixer:
Greg Townley  

Still Photography:
Allan Amato
Kyle Cassidy
Lindsay Duncan
Kahn & Selesnick
Stephanie Zakas  

CONCERT FOOTAGE  
Director: Jesse DeFlorio
Director of Photography: Seth Iliff
Production & Lighting Designer: Lauren Sego  

Special Thanks:
Jordan Verzar
Hayley Rosenblum
Michael McComiskey
Alex Knight

......

And a huge thanks to Alex for also helping me cobble this post together.

Love to all of you.

xxx

AFP

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 150 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

Files

Previews only

THE COUCH OF TRUTH with AFP - GRIEF: AND IT'S GOING TO HURT

This is the third episode in a five-part series. On March 22, 2019, the afternoon of her "There Will Be No Intermission" solo piano show in Toronto, musician Amanda Palmer invited members of the community to descend into to the basement dressing room of the Queen Elizabeth Theatre, sit on a cozy couch, and share anything they felt like sharing. A story, a heartbreak, a confession....anything. Her old college friend, filmmaker Jenessa Joffe, captured the stories on film and wove them into this 5-episode series: The Couch of Truth. The film was funded by Amanda's patron community, and you can read all about the genesis of the project, read updates about these folks, and see behind-the-scenes photos HERE: https://www.patreon.com/posts/54801129 You can see the playlist featuring the full series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdCjn28n1Ao-MiVAJ6Dj_no69UtX0peIm Thank you to the patrons whose funding made this project possible, and huge, heartfelt thanks to Gabriel, Amanda, and Nicki for being so open, vulnerable and brave. If this video moved you, and if you want this kind of work to exist in the world, ad-free and without corporate sponsorship, please consider joining the patreon. It would mean the world to us. ...... CREDITS Cast: Amanda Palmer Gabriel Amanda Nicki Director / Producer: Jenessa Joffe Field Producer: Lora Campbell Director of Photography: Nyssa Gluck Camera Operators: Chantal Garcia Danielle Thorn Location Sound: Bridget Tang Hair / Make-Up Artist: Sahar Junejo Production Assistants: Lindsay Duncan Sarah JM Kolberg Editors: Cindy Long Caddie Hastings Matt Marhefka Penda Diakité Re-Recording Mixer: Greg Townley Still Photography: Allan Amato Kyle Cassidy Lindsay Duncan Kahn & Selesnick Stephanie Zakas CONCERT FOOTAGE Director: Jesse DeFlorio Director of Photography: Seth Iliff Production & Lighting Designer: Lauren Sego Special Thanks: Jordan Verzar Hayley Rosenblum Michael McComiskey Alex Knight

Comments

Anonymous

This was beautiful and the kind of real I needed right about now. Thank you so much. ❤️🌹❤️

Lisa Marie Fuqua

My dad died 3 days after I got my second shot. I am a little scared to watch these right now because I find myself in the anger stage wanting to scream at every unmasked and presumably unvaxxed because we live in the USA person I see. I know it will be good and thank you for doing this series 💚

Daniel Allen

I lost several family members before I was twenty. None I was especially close to. Then my dad died, suddenly, of an epileptic seizure, when I was 30. Almost exactly a year later, his father died of pancreatic cancer. They had given him six months. He lived for eight years. Almost exactly a year after *that*, my grandmother died. And I have only just now, nearly a decade later *started* to process all of this. And more. It's hard. It hurts. It hurts *so* much. I'll find myself seeing something or reading something and I'll think, "I've got to remember to mention this to Dad". But then I'll remember that he's not there anymore. And then I have to think about *why* he's not there. And I've only just now started being able to allow myself to feel those things.

Len Tower Jr.

I lost the last member of my birth family. My younger, healthier brother Tom. On 1 Nov 2021. Of Covid-19. So I'm not only grieving for Tom with his wife & children, their friends, & our extended families. But also for Tom, Barbara, Mom, & Dad. Its a new & different kind of loneliness. -Len

EmVT

Thank you Amanda, Gabriel, Amanda, and Nicki for talking about your personal experiences of loss and grief, it truly helps--helps close a lifetime of wounds, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Every story connects: losing my dad when I was sixteen, not dealing with it until much, much later, slowly losing pieces of my mom through dementia (not being sure what was going on at first), diagnoses, the roller coaster of hoping for a better outcome that never came. Wishing I could have known my dad as an adult, wanting him to know I'm okay. Funny how grief and loss is so personal yet so universal. While stories in religious texts (I'm partial to the buddha and the mustard seed) do help a little--there's something about hearing personal stories directly from real people that makes me whole in a way fables and folklore can't come close to. Much gratitude to all of you, and to the film crew, and of course to Alex :) And, Amanda--it's hard to know how to thank you for your music, it goes where even the best talking and sharing can't get to.

EmVT
>>65726634

Sorry for your loss Daniel, that's a lot to process. *hugs*

Hanne Munkholm

Thank you ❤️ And perfect timing, too. So strong, so true, so beautiful, so needed.

Amy Cat Americana

In January I lost my Mom to complications from Parkinson’s and a recent broken hip. And my first dog died unexpectedly in June. 2021. I’m stuck in a tunnel of grief. I lost my Dad, only Aunt, only Uncle and only cousin in the past 10 years. I’m not giving up, but I’m baffled. I don’t know how to do this. All I can do is survive. But I have hope. I appreciated your couch session on grief. I think I need a support group so I can connect with other humans who are going through this.

Debra W

Thank you for providing this safe and empowering space for these brave souls to process and be seen. The depth of our grief reflects the value and love the loss gave us. Grief is a messy, complex, unique process. Hearing the "You are my Sunshine" singing story shared reminded me of " Alive Inside" which is an amazing documentary on the use of Ipods in facilities caring for older people who suffer from Alzheimer's and the music is tailored to the individuals' favorites. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HLEr-zP3fc My favorite resource on supporting grief is Megan Divine https://refugeingrief.com/

Bryony

Waited to watch this until 3 days before my friends funeral. She was my first girlfriend. An artist and a mother who has put plenty of ripples out into the world that will carry on. Preparing for this wound to break open and bleed anew , but hoping I can help those around me to travel through their own grief too.