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hello loves.

i’m still reading and responding to all the comments on yesterday’s new song post. thank you all so much for listening and writing in. (here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/58011667)

so….despite the fact that 1) we couldn’t go trick or treating because of lockdown and 2) this was ash’s second halloween in a row without his dad which is funny given that his dad is the king of nightmares and 3) as a new englander, i find it super-weird to be doing halloween in SPRING when everything is bursting to life instead of the way it’s supposed to be i.e. DEAD AND DECAYING…despite that, this was the most wonderful halloween i’ve ever had.

because ash is young enough not to fully grok the rituals, i didn’t mention anything about halloween doings in case it rained. it didn’t rain. we got a text invite from a local friend to join for a halloween distance walk.

but i was tired. we almost didn’t go. but i was like…come on, exhausted lockdown woman, make an effort. i informed ash at 4pm that he was gonna need a costume.

ash decided - left to own devices in his bedroom - to be a WOLF BALLERINA. (to clarify, and i did ask: “a wolf disguised as a ballerina. not a ballerina disguised as a wolf”.)




and we walked. ash was - as kids should be on halloween - deliciously delighted by hijinks that the community here dreamed up, being as creative as they could with the covid. we howled and sang at the top of our lungs. we trekked through the muddy bush following glowing costumes.






as the sun set, i watched ash gaze in wonder at these weird, awesome kiwis doing halloween like i remember it being as a kid: homespun and low to no-budget and absolutely…magical. he fell asleep, stuffed with candy, whispering “this is halloween, la la la la” from “the nightmare before christmas” over and over again. then, miraculously, for the first night in a week, he did not wake me up in the middle of the night with nightmares. i guess it worked. our howling scared away the demons. maybe this really is why we do this.





i just realized that i never took a picture of myself. my narcissism really has been THAT crushed by motherhood. i looked HOT! i was a pirate with a pet spider. we were also sent two candy care packages from two new kiwi pals.




dammit. thank you, beautiful country, and new kiwi friends.


thank you for taking care of my kid and giving him a perfect lockdown halloween.


🎃💀🇳🇿


xxx

AFP


———THE STUFF I SAY AT THE END OF EVERY POST———

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Comments

Heather and Tim Allman

Perfect night for all from the looks of it —how fun and truly amazing! So thankful you and Ash got to have a "proper" Halloween filled with making new memories and rituals! 🎃🖤

Thomas Herlofsen

the Wolf Ballerinas.. this patreon is the best band name generator ever.

Cat Mihos

Did Ash get the Halloween box I sent? it had choc candy eyeballs in a OUIJA box!

walter ray brock

So loving and creative I'm tearing up here. Thank you

Cyn

He slept all night. That is the best news I've heard all week.

Wendy S. Katz

A wolf disguised as a ballerina is my favorite costume ever. i'm so glad you got to go trekking and howling with neighbors - it sounds like great fun and good therapy. Thank you as always for these glimpses of kiwi life.

Coila

Hurray!! So glad you got a good Halloween! 🎉❤️

Katie Ní Mhaoláin

Love the photos! I'm so glad you were able to get a good Halloween. There's a lot to be said for the low budget homemade version! I used to trick or treat wearing a black bin bag and a "broom" made from a stick with shredded bits of newspaper taped to it...and we had the best time! Glad Ash had fun and slept well. If you want a wee spook, Google the carved turnips people in Ireland used to make before pumpkins were a thing here

Melinda M Kearney

(As my husband would say, *WOLF BALLERINA* -- great name for a band.") I love this so much, dear AFP! Community Halloween Spirit and fun costumes inspired by personal creativity... (Although, like you, the combination of "Halloween" and "Spring" would really throw me.) Ash's Halloween joy takes the cake! (Or should I say, the *candy*?) Love you, dear AFP!

Julie Fuentes

Looks super fun! Love the costume

Fleassy Malay

Love this and I love Ash's costume. I remember cold, dark, home-made Halloweens in England. I remember one Halloween...i was probably 11...my bestie and i dressed as witches...It POURED with rain so we wandered alone round my neighbourhood under a black umbrella at 4pm in the pitch dark 😅 Halloween is pretty new in Australia and, you're right, it's not the same in daylight and in the blazing heat like we had here. But our local neighbourhood is VERY community focused (despite being suburban Melbourne). Last year and this year we replaced trick or treating with a scarecrow hunt. Houses built scary scarecrows and we walked around the neighbourhood finding them. They had buckets with candy for the kids too. I live in an intentional community here in Melbourne so we did a whole afternoon where I face painted the kids, then we did dress ups, built a scarecrow and all went out together. If you and Ash ever come back to Melbourne you'd be so welcome here, Ash would have heaps of kid friends on site. :) it's a special place. I can't add photos of out Halloween to this comment but here is a link to my kids "zombie kid" costume 😅 https://www.instagram.com/p/CVr1gnilw3m/?utm_medium=copy_link

DebbieG

I love the Wolf Ballerina! I was never a big fan of Halloween as a kid, I was shy so I didn't like knocking on strangers' doors and I didnt like being scared. But this sounds like a much more fun kind of Halloween because yes costumes and Wolf Ballerina for the win! 🐶

Kathryn Weber-Boer

Fantastic! My daughter, who told me for months she was going to be a unicorn Pegasus for Halloween, switched things up to be a princess vampire (she would graduate to Queen of the Vampires before our expat-imagined "Trunk or Treat" began). This also meant obliteration of my ego, as my vampire costume was passed down and I contented myself with awesome matching facepaint for the two of us. 😉 And she also fell asleep to The Nightmare Before Christmas and slept through the night for the first time I can remember in weeks. Halloween magic. 🦇

Sarah

Ahhhhhh I'm so happy you guys had a great Halloween! Wolf disguised as ballerina is EVERYTHING!!!! xxxxx

John Sea Wind

That kid sure does have a fun, quirky imagination. Not surprising, though, given his parentage! Yeah, Halloween in springtime would have to be pretty darn strange. But I'm glad Ash got to have a fun time!

Shannon Dehlin

Without context I could tell who the werewolf is, but I didn't realize he'd already gotten so big.

JenSam

My five year old daughter was a butterfly, but her wing broke at a party on Saturday, and I didn’t have a chance to fix it. She said, “That’s okay, Mommy, I’m going to put something together.” She threw together the top of a Belle costume, a rainbow tutu, and a superhero mask, and a fabric flower and called herself Super Flower. She said her power was to shoot flowers out of her hand and make the world beautiful. As we trick or treated the neighborhood, she stood out in the sea of Elsas. I really loved it.

amandapalmer

this is the best story i've read today. a super flower in a sea of elsas.....YES.

VitAnyaNaked

Yes, you can be understood. Still, for you, who celebrated Halloween in the fall season all your life, it must be a little strange to celebrate it now in the spring)) But I'm glad that you had a great time

Susan Holtham

Hi AfP, loving this vicarious Halloween moment between you, Ash and our glorious loved-up community of Euphoric Misfits here on Waiheke Island! Due to Lockdown here in Aotearoa, my children had to stage their own attempt at Halloween this year, with some matching outfits that admittedly got a 'bit sexy' (think mini dresses and platform boots) with a thwarted photo shoot, gin shots and a latenight viewing of the Freddy Mercury biopic. *sigh, we did the best we could to conjure up that feeling of 'cold, other-worldy-ness' that Halloween is supposed to inspire in us as a pulsing collective. Anyhoo, am actually busting into this comment thread to beg you to join the WOMAD lineup of artists for this acclaimed - now Kiwi-only! - world music event in Taranaki in March '22. Please?

Betsy Cacchione

Hello Amanda! Betsy from the Omega group here... it was so good to see your face on the call the other day. And yes - can't wait to the day when I can give you all the hugs we've been storing up. I haven't written in the comments in a long time. Apologies. Life and work have been beyond overwhelming. I read all of your posts but then by the time I get to the end I have usually used up my break time and don't have any energy left to actually respond. I loved the NY Times song. Please try to be at least as kind to yourself as the ants you carry two by two out the door :) So lovely to see all the pictures of you and Ash. He has gotten so big since the "pass the baby" game he instigated in the lake at Omega :) Its been difficult to motivate myself to do much of anything these days but my friend invited me to drive up to Phoenix on Halloween because a friend of hers was setting up a haunted house type experience in his front yard for tricker treaters. SO I dressed up in the bat costume that my mom made for me when I was 10 (that I can somehow still fit into...) and put on my stilts and was a 7ft bat wandering around in the street flapping my wings at all the trick or treaters. Kids always get a kick out of seeing me in my stilts. And I always end up with a big smile on my face after getting tall for a while. It's the best medicine. I also saw the streaming event when you played the blurred lines mashup - that was the first time I had heard that song and it gave me chills listening to it. Well DONE. It was masterful. Being a guide/"priestess"/chanteuse of the death gate is no easy burden but you carry it with an amazing amount of ease and grace. Thinking of you often. Dreaming of days ahead when we might all gather again. My little backyard magical oasis awaits if you ever need a place to land for awhile :) Take care of yourself. You're doing good! Of course - for people like us, it's never enough. But it's enough. Love love love love.

Lindsey Lubow

I largely gave up on Halloween when I moved into my current apartment... it's really hard to answer the door that's 1. not the obvious entry with the driveway on the sidewalked side-street and 2. easily 40-50 stairs below and 3. would require the buzzer (not a doorbell, a buzzer that literally makes us jump because LOUD) to be going off every two minutes OR 3A. would require me to sit outside on not-my-porch desperately trying to leave some candy for people who aren't me (I have a long and storied history of not setting effective boundaries when sweets are involved...) but also 4. would mean I need(?) a costume. On the bright side, I have an idea for "next time" that's also suitable for not-Halloween costuming and/or cosplay. I have a birb-barian D&D character (5e Aaracokra Storm Herald Barbarian, if anybody who plays was wondering) so I'm making myself a shawl that looks like wings. So far, it's 2/3s of a feather and a big long chain-tail where I expect there will be additional feathers. Still, I'm 4 rows in which might be a new personal best. (Multitasking is something I am particularly unskilled at, so I have to be in The Crochet Mood and away from conversation to work on it.) ...but yeah, this year made me want to go trick-or-treating again even as I'm trying to assess how long I'm gonna keep going with Nutrisystem before shifting away from their overly fibrous and under-portable foods in favor of just Making Everything Myself - except I'm still very much inexperienced with cooking and trying desperately where exactly on the dial my gas stove considers to be "medium" because halfway between low and high markers is definitely NOT it. So glad you & Ash got to do Halloween festivities even if the season seems backwards for ya.

Catherine Hannah

Love this, and love that you got to do Halloween "old fashioned low-tech" - and magical that it chased away his nightmares that night...hope they stay away!

NakedSunFlower

It's so nice to see these wonderful pictures of you looking so cute and dressed up in these creepy costumes! Ash's costume looks especially creative)))

Amy Lynn Reese

I have to know more about that last picture where Ash is smashing something that is vaguely foodlike open with a hammer. What is going on here? What is that in the box? I am deeply curious about food consumption that involves tiny hammers.

Kirsten Sogge

Thank you, brought tears to my eyes.

Camille Brightsmith

It's so exhausting here too - being a single mom. Being the driver, explainer, diviner, chef, entertainer, and model of being. But I am HOME. I see my elderly parents a few times a week. We cook together. I just feel so deeply for you. I know you are grateful and in love with your temporary home. But I can't imagine how tired you must be at the same time. Plus, New Yorkers are a special breed. I live in the mountains of Colorado, except for those 25 wonderful years in Los Angeles. But I had to come home. The mountains are me. And I think you are New York, too. I love your NYT song which is really a song about hope, sadness and affection for complicated things. It is the best kind of song. Plus the chord progression is very juicy! Going to try to figure it out if I ever get time away from these two gorgeous, complicated, and still somewhat isolated 15 year olds. I hope you find more YOU TIME asap

Suzanne Tassone

He has got such a beautiful old soul. I adore his costume. It's so creative. He is already an artist.