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hallo loves

just a brief note….alex and i worked really hard all week on putting together the monthly althing, and i made a video for it on friday.


i went to upload it and it seems that the new patreon video system has crashed. we’ve been trying to get e post out since then. technology is a real bitch and it’s coming and i love you. hopefully it’ll go out in the next 48 hours. i was hoping to get it out and spend all of tomorrow reading your comments. it’s probably not to be. a. w m

meanwhile, my friend took this beautiful set of pictures on the beach tonight at sunset.

the seagulls are nesting and parenting. there were fluffy baby seagulls everywhere and one was stuck on the side of a rock, unable to fly, unable to get up, down, across…anywhere.


the baby’s mama was simply standing above the baby on the rock, staunchly, fiercely and helplessly shrieking. alone on that rock with her kid.

hard relate from the past year and a half, seagull. hard relate.


x

a

p.s. i’ll be reading comments here til the althing comes out. (then i’ll delete this sentence).



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Comments

Nikki Gray

(And we all screech at the full moon!)

Lynn Parlett

Hey Amanda, gorgeous pictures. That boy is getting very long of limb - but still very cuddly. Thanks for sharing them. Love you.

Kristine Lind

I’m so sorry y’all are still going through this mess, Amanda. I am heartbroken that I don’t have the ability to give you more. This really breaks my heart for you and the kids. I’m a single mother myself who is living alone in Los Angeles without my family and I’m so sick of this pandemic 😷. I thought New Zealand had the infection rate down to zero or close to it. I’m sorry I don’t keep up with the news as much as I’d like to right now but I want you to know I’m sending you *sincere* love, gratitude and strength to get through this. Also, I love you.

Robin McFadden

My eldest are teenagers. I still stand on the ledge above them and screech.

frankie faith

I've recently become a foster mum to two traumatised girls. Being a mum is hard. I've always had kids in my life but this is the first time I've been so hard on myself and wanted to give up on life itself. It's hard. But the girls are making huge improvements every single day. But I still want to screech.

Olaf Lewitz

Sending love from Berlin. Always so good to hear from you. We feel you, and we keep being inspired and uplifted even by these small messages. Big hugs ❤️

Jonah Poirot

Your photos reminded me to breathe. Sometimes we need to just Be. There is sun somewhere. Thank you for working so hard on the althing, im sure it will resolve when it is meant to--Sending love

Angel Rosen

Beautiful photos. Sending love 💜

Laura Morland

Wow, what powerful photos. You should frame that last one and put it up in your permanent house, so when Ash is 15 or 16 he can look at it and remember what it felt like to be held above the waters by his tall, strong Mummy. (Because that was the first thought that popped in my head at the first pic, where his face was not even visible: how lucky Ash is to have such a *strong* mother.) P.S. Thanks be to God you weren't trying to post the Althing on November 30th! You'd be screwed out of a major portion of your income stream!

angela b

Beautiful photos. I teared up just a bit remembering holding my babies like that. Now we could do it, but it would be awkward af as they are both much taller than me. I love the metaphor of screaming seagull mom. And I love you and all these patreonites as well. 💓💜💓

Sally

Spectacular photos. I hope the baby seagull was able to get to safety in the end.

Amanda Catton-Johnson

Hard relate on all of that, but how could I not? All I've got is I've been lying here watching Michael videos until I wake up and they're somehow Sting videos (not a metaphor, actual truth) and I turn them back to Michael videos and you post. Love you, Amanda.  Thank you for putting up with me, Amanda. Beatific photos. When I see you again I'll remind you of this, but thank you for great hugs. I will request them again, when I see you again. ❤

Amanda WouldGo

Broke my ankle this week or sprained it, not sure yet because our health care workers were on a labor strike. I sympathize with them and could also likely use a cast. Sooo…I’m trying to relax into immobility for a bit. It’s worse than it could be. Your posts are something to look forward to. Love!!!

Carmen J

I'm feeling it Amanda. I was hanging the washing out in the early morning and baby magpie landed on the compost bin less than a few metres away, squawking. Next thing, mama magpie lands on the ground nearby and starts checking for worms and insects in the grass... followed by another squawking baby magpie, everywhere she went... she hopped forward, the baby followed, still relentlessly squawking, all over the backyard. The first baby just staying on the bin and squawking when the other took a breath. I get it Mama Magpie... I so get it.

EmVT

Mother and son heart to heart, so much love! ❤️ Magical photos, the light and color palette are just, wow! Reminds me so much of one of my favorite artists Maxfield Parrish :D I forgot there's an all thing, something to look forward to! Frosty cool first snows here in Vermont, lots of flocks of bluebirds for some reason this year. US CDC approved covid boosters for all adults, hopefully will help keep case counts down over Thanksgiving. Sending good vibes to you and Aotearoa for a speedy-yet-healthy end to lockdown!

Robert Williams

My son is in Canberra. His children are in Perth with his ex. He hasn’t been able to get home to see them for 9 months and has just been told he might not be allowed to travel home for Christmas. If he can’t get home that shelves our plans to travel west to visit our granddaughters. I miss my children and grandchildren. They’re all learning to fly and I’m not there to share with them and help if they fall.

Phoenix M.T. Noah

After realizing some horrible things about my family (I was never the priority for my folks that Ash is for you, that I was basically another expensive toy mom insisted on but never interacted with after the shine wore off) while navigating possible end of life things and how woefully unprepared for that i am - i find myself longingly looking at these photos of you and ash and being both INCREDIBLY PLEASED HE HAS YOU and also mourning my inner child who has no idea how to HUMAN because that little one never had parental CONNECTION at all and still doesn't have a clue about it. Thank you for somehow managing to share your own struggle while at the same time helping random people manage their own - just by sharing your thoughts and some pics now and again. I guess i get to learn how to be my own Mommy. About time somebody gave a shit about me and it might as well be me who does! LOVE YOU.

amandapalmer

yes. the pain of distance and time - and expectation - that this pandemic has wrought is incalculable. ash’s whole assortment of grandparents and step-grandparents and wider net of relations has gone through the whole wringer and spectrum of emotions trying to make sense of it. nobody really can. sometimes the sadness has turned to rage. it’s all understandable. we are all the screeching bird. it’s a pandemic. sending love.

Eli

Ouch, sounds very painful. I hope you can get it checked out and get a cast on it soon. Hugs

amandapalmer

i feel this deeply. in many ways, at different stages…we learn how to parent ourselves. i love you. you’re not alone. ♥️

Len Tower Jr.

The isolation is hard. This is the 2nd holiday season I won't travel to be with family in NYC, South Jersey, & Ohio. Phone calls instead (family doesn't zoom). Only in the last six months have I faced with friends. Less than a dozen times. The stranded baby gull made me think of Neil. Not sure why (yet?) Love & your Love back at you, Len

Thomas Herlofsen

AMANDA I talked with a woman and said If you don’t let yourself collapse now When will you Two years later we both knew the answer

Thomas Herlofsen

Extra extra hugs to MTN, my spirit talker and tornado survivor pal in Seattle. We are all mostly unexpected and quite often unwanted.

Antti Roppola

I am in Canberra. There are lovely hills to walk through, even in a lock down. There are birds all around. Cockatoos. Galahs. Crested pigeons. Currawongs. Magpies. Sometimes a King Parrot. We are all mixed in together in the pleasant green meadows. Although some borders are now open, others borders still seem impossibly far away.

Lynn Robinson

More amazing photos. The love between you & Ash shines through. Stay strong . Much love

Nora B

Sometimes it's tempting to look at pictures like these where women look so strong, not just emotionally but physically powerful, and forget that no one can be strong all the time, that no one can live as a clenched fist. I hope that the people in your life appreciate how much you are doing for your family and how much you deserve to find in your own life a balance between contraction and release.

Kati Loux

Wow, I also relate to that seagull. I'm glad I just have two kids to care for, and that I'm not teaching right now. I've felt very alone lately, even though I guess feeling that way isn't correct.

Jennifer Maroney

Gorgeous photo! One of the joys of this time has been getting out in nature more with my 3 boys to hike, kayak, and fish. I was able to work from the beach while they swam.

Katja Martin

The sea! Summer-pictures! ♥️ Hope you both are as well as you can be under the circumstances! Summer seems so long ago here on the other side of the world. That seagull screeching- these are the sounds of the german parents (and grandparents and other caregivers), while our government lets the virus run rampage through schools and kindergardens, infecting families and overwhelming hospitals, burning out doctors and nurses. We try very hard to find explanations that contain stupidity, incompetence, hybris or the unfortunate date of our elections to avoid explaining it with deliberation - which would be worse. But this feeling of 'lack of government protection' and 'everyone fends for their/her/himself' starts to spread and tear at the fabric of our society and our minds. On a happier individual note: After nearly two years the south-african father of my grandchild got a visa again to visit his son here in germany. My grandson was 8 weeks old when his father left in January 20. His next visit in Summer 20 was postponed because of the Pandemic. In January 21 he had already booked a flight when all traffic to and from South-Africa was stopped because of virus variants. Finally he arrived in october on the 2nd birthday of his son. Now they have a chance to get to know each other - we all do - it is a very happy time for us family-wise. His mother (the 'other' grandma) works as a nurse in a hospital in South-Africa. His comment when we explained the covid situation in germany to him was so telling: "200 death' a day? This is shocking - you are a first world country - you have everything, the money, the vaccination, the knowledge, the institutions! Why?" Apparently we are lacking foresight, common ground and evidenz/science-based actions.

Janet in Georgia

Beautiful photos!! I wish I c oils go to the beach…My middle sister who is 8 years older than me (my oldest sister is 16 years older than me!! Yes my parents had HUGE gaps in child having) has been in the hospital since last Sunday with Covid. She *might* get to go home today if she can walk down the hall without needing oxygen. She is not vaccinated. She does not like to wear masks. I don’t want to tell her I TOLD YOU SO but I can’t. Not until she’s better. I haven’t felt scared for her, or any of the hints that you’d expect to feel of someone had Covid pneumonia in hospital. I don’t know why but I’ve just felt she’d be coming home. Fingers crossed it’s today!! Love you Amanda ❤️

Laura Wellner

Lovely photos, you two are so sweet. The seagull baby...so random. Oh, Nature...what will be will be. We're having my brother and sister come over for Thanksgiving, it will be good to have the "little family" back together. Although I miss them, I'm glad my parents didn't live to see the shit show our country has become. A year ago my sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer, so far, so good. She's doing well since the last chemo 23 weeks ago. The weather looks to be favorable for travel. It's cold, but nice for November, a wee bit of sunshine, the last leaves are falling off the trees and bushes. My wee donkey has become very fuzzy with her winter coat, and sassy for a 30 year old critter. We played together yesterday, she chased me around the compost bin in the paddock, she's so wicked smart, when I stopped and changed direction, she KNEW, she might not see so well, but those ears don't miss a thing! She's so awesome! There is still joy to be had in troubled times. Love & hugs!

Katie Roberts Art

Stuck on a rock. Oh boy. Sending you love Amanda. xXx

Melissa Ann

I also saved my offspring's baby teeth. And it seemed bizarre, and frankly a little compulsive at the time. But listening to your voice ramble it was so obvious to me, that that tiny little tooth represented my childrens' childhood to me (on some level.) Rationally I know this is ridiculous. But as parents, we are constantly grieving the little deaths that we go through as our children grow and need us less. Personally, I needed a little talisman to get me through that grief. I too pictured my kids as adults seeing those tiny teeth and imagining their responses to me squirreling them away. You are a good mother. That bears repeating, YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER! And the voice ramble reminded me that I can choose to tell myself it's neurotic and macabre to search intensely for a lost baby tooth. OR I can tell myself, I am a good mother. It's okay that I wanted to save those precious moments with my kiddos in a box. Thanks for telling us you love us. I love you too, Amanda. Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us. xx

Leigh Ann Crimmings

Hi Beautiful! Just a quick note of gratitude for introducing me to Leslie & Afro Flow Yoga. Back home in Boston, Leslie hosted the first, in person AFY workshop yesterday and it was soul crushing magic, as you know she does. We flowed and danced to live drumming and created joy and equinimity. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know this joy and this community. It's so far away from where you are, on the beach protecting your boy from the ever looming pandemic. And yet still connected. I bet there are lots of us patrons whose lives have taken amazing turns because of introductions you have made. And that web of art and creation just keeps spreading! So, thanks! 💜

Cranial Moon Designs

Thank you for sharing. Here where I am in Canada, we've just had massive flooding in our community, though luckily we are on high ground so it didn't effect us at home, but still. It's 7:30am and the moon is still out, the sky is full of crows doing their morning travel, and I just saw the Canadian geese traveling off in a V. Much love to you!

Suzanne

Beautiful pictures. I'm glad you were able to have someone take them. I wish I had more pictures of myself with my children at that age.

Christina Vivona

Thank you, so much, for the opportunity to share in what you are creating and living. I’m a bit new to this patron thing, and I find myself looking forward to each communication, each photo, each thing. I’m touched by every one. It’s becoming a lifeline in a way I never expected. As you share so openly, I feel you, feel your struggles, feel your human-ness, feel and want to send all the love. Because of you, your shares, and all these lovely patrons, I am finding courage to connect to parts of myself that I often push away. You remind me, show me, that we are in this life thing together, and that choosing to experience fully all the things is the richness of living. Thank you ❤️

Melody

Beautiful photos! I'm hanging in. Asking friends for grocery money. I've got great friends, at least. Great people around me. I get by with a little help from my friends, is that how the song goes?

Robert Williams

@Antti Roppola I’m ex-defence, 42 years worth, originally from WA and my wife and i had two posting to Canberra and yes, loved the town and area (politicians aside). My children have settled all over Oz and we are trying to get to see them for hugs now that we’ve retired and settled in SA. … but … We have kookaburras and lorikeets, willy wag tails and Blue wrens and a granddaughter that we haven’t met yet who will turn 5 next year. There was a “freedom / anti-vax protest” in Adelaide and i sat in my car with the other who couldn’t move watching them walk past and cried.

amandapalmer

the little gull is all of us, at different times. so is the mama. we all take turns stumbling on the rock, and in turn, feeling helpless. i love you len.

amandapalmer

what a story. and yes..the grand WHY. coming from the lips of many of my european and UK friends at the moment. sending love. xx

amandapalmer

consider deeply what the I Told You So will accomplish. i've been trying to take that phrase out of my diet, as it never seems to do anything good. xx

amandapalmer

i am SO HAPPY to hear that. if you do it again, make sure you beam an extra ray of love from me to her. she's such an incredible soul.

amandapalmer

it's nice to have friends who know how to take pictures, and who understand their power. this was taken by my pal bianca. we were both on the beach with our kid. xx

Marguerita Tajibnapis

Tonight I didn’t think I would comment. It was good to read what the rest of us in the community wrote. I expected to have a solitary Thanksgiving and was completely ok with that but a friend unexpectedly invited me. I have not seen her for a few months so it will be so good to reconnect with her. Her children are not easy to be around but they are at the very least, interesting. MN is currently the worst state in the US for rate of Covid infections. So mortifying. I hope to get a booster soon. Friends are getting break through infections. One of my friends has a first grader who has now been quarantined twice in the month of November because of his teacher testing positive the first time and I suspect a classmate being infected. She had just scheduled him to have his first vaccine so now has to wait. She tells me how nerve wracking it is to have to have him tested and retested. The difficulty of getting tested is wearing. It’s hard seeing your friends go through stuff like this and not be able to do anything for them. The rock formation in the photos reminds me of ones I’ve seen in Indonesia which is actually not that far from New Zealand. So beautiful! Thank you for sharing the photos as we head into winter here. ❤️ ☮️ and 🕉

Janet in Georgia

Oh I do consider and I don’t say it often. But when I do it means something. I’ve tried to tell her she should be more careful etc. she NEVER listens. For example. She will call me from fast food drive thrus, then complain she’s fat. So I say, so don’t eat McDonald’s every day for lunch kind of I told you so’s. I think more so me being in the “snotty little sister” role it comes easily for me to jump to the I told you so for her. She did used to hold my head over the toilet as a child so I’m allowed to say it to her haha. Thank you❤️

Nika

Cold still morning here in Manhattan today. Drinking my morning coffee and watching seagulls fly over the Hudson. Thank you for making me feel connected Amanda :)

Brent

Very cool pictures! I was recently in a meeting on the 5th floor of Exley Science Center and behind the person I was meeting with, outside the window clinging to the side of the building was a squirrel. Now I know squirrels are pretty good climbers but the 5th floor of this building is pretty high up. This guy was just clinging to the side of the wall not really moving, just hanging on. She said the squirrel had been there all day, but she only comes in two days a week so it could have been there longer. We have no idea what ended up happening to it. Wes COVID update: Active Cases - students: 43 (!!), employees: 1

Kaytiebug of Katty Creations

I have issues uploading videos to Patreon too. I upload them to Youtube unlisted then link them to my posts and that seems to work fine. Lovely photo, hope Australia is feeling like a paradise as opossed to a prison. I wish America took covid more seriously...

Catherine Hannah

I got a chance to see one of our musician friends perform last night....and it was a toss-up whether their relief and joy at our collective reunion was greater, or ours was. It's not important, of course. The energy in that hall was a palpable bear of a rollicking emotion coaster. It's been so long! We love you! I know you are feeling starved for performance...and creation...but we are HERE. Just waiting to join in the community of live artistic expression, once it comes around on the ukulele again. Or piano... Love you, dear heart! Enjoying the pictures of you, Ash, and the beauty you are immersed in...cocooned in. BIG JINORMOUS HUGS.

Laura Wellner

Thirty is pretty average for a mini-donkey like my wee girl, but they can live to be 40 or more, there was one rumored to be 90, but I think that was just a rumor other than the critter was very very old. I'm hoping she will live a good long time, she's in good health, and doing quite well for an old gal. I spoil her rotten of course...she's a happy little hee-haw!

Allen Lilley

The pics are fucking awesome ... as are you, Amanda! LUV the precious Mother/Son moment. Truly wonderful gift all-around.

Leyna Saultz

How is Ash's body almost as long as your body!? Time is strange. Your family is beautiful.

Jozias

Good to know he goes to school again. That will be so good for him. And you can do more at home. I know you will miss him... I'm an old man and lost my children's mother. So I didn't see me just waiting on them. Also would be a burden going to any hospital and all doctors I need at the time... They'd be there all the time. So actually though very sad and missing them a lot I'm still behind my "choice"(Life isn't just choices,right?) to move out of the country. COVID made it worse though to go there and see them for some weeks. Long enough to just keep it fresh and doable for the one I would leave behind. She got in an argument with my kids and doesn't want to go there anymore. Now I'm still in the States with COVID spiking again in Europe.