two reminders 1) go easy on yourself and 2) tomorrow is day 1 of the all-patron studio webcast marathon! (Patreon)

hallo loves

just a heads up/reminder…in case you didn’t read about it in the althing (because i know sometimes the althing can be massively overwhelming and sometimes you don’t read it at all or you save it for when you have 2 hours to kill :)

the MAIN DISH of the month is kicking off tomorrow at a recording studio in auckland. im going to do two days of webcasting starting tomorrow morning at 11:11am new zealand time - jan 25th. im going to chat from the piano with all of you and figure out how to spend the recording day in real time.

please RSVP to BOTH days!

TUESDAY/tomorrow: https://www.crowdcast.io/e/sj9glppm

WEDNESDAY/the next day: https://www.crowdcast.io/e/eaywgp19

i’ll send one last reminder RIGHT before i go live tomorrow.

i have NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE and so i am excited. i have allll day tuesday and wednesday in the studio to write and play and rehearse and futz around. the cast - both days - will probably last from 11:11 to maybe…2? 3? 4pm? just dip in and see. if we are still going, we are still going. (crowdcast is also great because you can just click on the link now and itbwill convert the time to wherever you are.)

both casts will be instantly archived and replayable by patrons only the minute they wrap.

USE THE COMMENTS SECTION!! start uploading ideas and questions!! chat with each other!!! and don’t be afraid to talk to strangers. we are all friends here. be helpful to one another.

then.

on day two, i’ll either record whatever i work on after we switch off on tuesday, or i’ll just keep being random …. i just don’t know. come tomorrow and we will figure it out. i’ll make an update post tomorrow night and let you all know how day #1 went…and what we might expect of day #2.

i just spent the entire evening practicing piano at lucy’s house, where i am crashing.

fuck. i miss playing the piano. i told lucy, who sat there while i practiced, working on some script. i cried. WHY DO I NOT PLAY THE PIANO ALL THE TIME, i cried.

because you’re a mother

she said. (she has 3 kids).

i know, i said.

and i managed to out together a crowdfunding empire so that i will literally get paid more for the next two days of free-form art-making than i used to make on tour in a MONTH

and i was like

actually, this is amazing and i am amazing. i AM PLAYING THE PIANO, WHY AM I COMPLAINING ABOUT NEVER PLAYING THE PIANO WHILE ACTUALLY PLAYING THE PIANO

and the answer is that humans just cannot stop fretting about the past and future and the end.

i keep having to remind myself that everything is actually fine. beyond fine. i’m getting better at it.

a propos, glennon doyle posted this today:

and i responded/added:

i will type something out loud that i maybe take for granted but do not say: covid has changed my life. changed me. for the better. because i have let go. of almost everything. including my life-long driving desire to tell, tell, tell the world about my every experience in real-time. instead, i have shuffled and sculpted and changed so many of my goddamn priorities, putting my son and my mental and physical health in the center, and have stopped fretting so much about my ambition, my status, how it all looks, and whether or not i can cleverly and helpfully narrate the story of my life and trials on social media and for my beloved patrons.

instead of fretting to telling the story of my life, and to make it all happen, and to answer every email…nope. game over. i’m changing the very nature of my work to be able to make a living writing and webcasting instead of touring live. it’ll work.

i am finally just allowing myself to go easy on me, and live life on the terms that have been handed to me.

i am trying to just go as slow as i can. and enjoy the supermarket. and the rock pools. the plums, which are nearing the end of their season on my tree. the people of new zealand. the small joys of existence. the sound of the rain this morning as i woke. calling my father, who is grieving. writing a spontaneous song for my tiny group of patrons tomorrow in a little recording studio. making a cup of good coffee. going to a movie with ash and neil (sing 2, yesterday) and allowing myself to cry full-throatedly at the scene at the end where there are 3,000 people (well, animals) gathered in a live theater.

allowing it all. allowing this to be what it is. and letting love flow into all of these imperfect and unthinkable cracks.

all of new zealand went into the “red setting” yesterday. my only festival appearance this summer (the splore festival, near auckland) was officially cancelled this morning.

almost every kiwi musician i know here is heartbroken right now. tour is off. again.

we will just keep slowing down, finding our inner reserves of patience, adjusting, and going easy on ourselves - and importantly, easy on one another. on our friends, partners, families, our children. it is the only way out.

i love you all so so much.

and thank you glennon. you said it.

i’ll say it too.

everybody: go easy on you. go gentle. you’re tired. rest. you deserve rest. go easy. go easy. go easy.

i love you, so much.

…..

see many of you tomorrow i hope.

let’s make some art.

let’s go crazy.

let’s look for the purple banana til they put us in the truck.

let’s go.

bring your whole hearts.

earthly and delightedly yours

afp

ps. a note to $10+ PATRONS, I'll be scheduling a just-us webchat when this crazy week is over. stay tuned.