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hello my loves.

i’m writing this - poetically, and perhaps by design - from the tarmac of auckland airport as i wait for the wheels to lift and the big steel bird to carry us back to america.

this is the song i wrote and tweaked over the last month.

it is a love song.

and it is a goodbye song.

it was made - literally - far underground.

it was recorded this past wednesday in the stony batter on waiheke island, a remote set of defense tunnels built during WW2.

i saw the tunnels (and that there was an old rickety piano down there for secret events), only a few days after i wrote the song.

it had to be.

so the tunnels let us in, we hired a remote sound engineer (david wernham, julia dean’s partner) and down, down, down julia and i went to record. we also made a video - we will hang onto that for later (it needs work, and i think this song will probably come out on the collection of NZ songs i seem to have amassed).

here are some shots….





at the start of the pandemic, when new zealand opened and the world closed, there were all of comments about how new zealand was fine because it was just “a little island in the middle of nowhere”. the kiwis were quite defensive about this - and rightly so - for two reasons.

one, the government did the right thing. it was not an accident.

and two, new zealand isn’t all that small.

they are sensitive about that. i kept seeing images of NZ superimposed over the UK. it’s bigger.


…..


so…. more about leaving this country, later.


now, all you need to do is listen:

https://soundcloud.com/amandapalmer/little-island-featuring-julia-deans/s-bsZYXMDbP6n?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

the soundcloud link is private, but you can share it with people who may want or need to hear it (i know i especially have friends of friends in new zealand who aren’t patrons. send away.)

you can download the song direct from soundcloud.

this photo was taken the morning i left, out of the window of my car as the rain poured down, near awaawarowa, the eco-village that first welcomed me onto the island.



it all fits.

i love you all so much.

a hit about the song.

jamie macphail is one of the people in new zealand who really schooled me in the history of the place, as we drove around and opened one another’s hearts to hidden stories.

he helped me a lot with ash when i was alone at at my lowest ebb. here he is in september 2020, when new zealand was open and the world was closed, and i tried to throw ash the best birthday party ever to heal his sad heart. jamie came dressed like this, with giant balloons.






this song is for new zealand, but it’s also really for him.



…


jamie says the kiwis loved americans

the moonshot JFK and lucky strikes

now there’s just this pity and embarrassment

the proud boys covid deaths and oscar night


jamie says the old days here were simpler

no television coffee and no phones

and even people third fourth generation

when they were talking about england they’d say


… “home”


oh i owe you little island

little island bigger than my mind

some of us are proud of what we brought here

and some of us are proud of what we left behind


jamie took me to the family graveyard

up near where he grew up on the farm

his little sister died when he was six years old

she was buried there between his dad and mom


jamie went to gaze into the sunset

and i wandered around wondering what to do

that’s when i saw the headstone with the swastika

this mongrel mob guy next to a guy from world war two


oh i owe you little island

little island bigger than the sun

some of us are proud of what we fought for

and some of us are proud of how fast we could run


and there’s a cloud of doubt

hanging over the hangman’s back

and there’s a long white cloud

hanging over the union jack


jamie says that people always leave here

because europe and australia have work

jamie says he’s never left the country

but he swears he’ll come and see me in new york


oh i owe you little island

little island bigger than the sun

some of us are proud of what we fought for

and some of us are proud of how fast we could run


oh i love you little island

little island bigger than the whole UK

some of us are proud of where we came from

have got to settle being proud

that we got away




…..


i love you, little island.

you have changed my life forever.


xx

afp

Files

Previews only

Comments

Jo

Fare well, Amanda and Ash xxx

Lynn Robinson

Holding you and Ash in my heart. Will listen to the song and probably weep xxxx

Amanda Hunt

Love you so much Amanda - miss you already! Wishing you safe travels, come back and see us some time soon. God bless Haere ra Arohanui xx

Amanda Hunt

PS this song is amazing. I heard it at the Sat night cabaret. I’m stoked you got it recorded for us before you left

Sally

Well that made this Aussie teary. I am going to miss you being in my time zone. I hope being home is as wonderful as you dreamed. Safe travels Amanda and Ash

Jason Reed

Safe travels, wherever your journey takes you from here on. Thank you for your love and care from an Aussie fan. We're going to miss having you so close. ❤️

Anabel Vélez

Safe travels. Amazing song. Thanks.

Amanda Hunt

PPS in true Amanda fashion, I am listening to your song as I finish a poem for a competition closing on May 31 NZT

Lisa Jackson

Beautiful 💗 Safe travels xxx

Kate Opanowycz

Wow 😳 that's a chilling song Amanda. So beautiful ❤️🥰 thankyou I bet you'll kiss the ground when you land. Two years is a long time not to see your tribe ☺️🥰

Rose Cooper

Both Can & can’t imagine how you’re feeling. Sending love ❤️

Amy

💜

Kathryn Drew

Well that made me cry of course. Gorgeous song and recording, thank you. Been thinking about you all afternoon, glad I could listen to this just moments after your plane departed. Golly Amanda, I feel ... many feelings, too... about you leaving. I will miss feeling you so near. When you got stuck here my mum was stuck here too - we saw you play in Christchurch - she flew back to England on your birthday, I remember being on the beach making a birthday message in the sand to take a photo of to send to you whilst also grieving my mother's departure... your journey here has several landmarks for me. Oh I am so glad you were able to experience the richness of this land Aotearoa, the slow down, the love, the nature, and what an incredible way to raise a few young years for Ash. Thank you for all that you gave, and received, and felt, and grew here. Travel well, big hugs x x x i love you x x x

Antoinette Ratcliffe

Hearing that for the first time live on Sunday night was such a beautiful experience, but sitting with it knowing you're on your way home is something very special. Thank you so so much X Safe travels!! PS: can't wait for the Whakanewha song!

Woofz

Fare thee well, was great to see you today and hear this song live. Also loving the great harmonies in the recorded version of the song.

Stefan Momma

❤️❤️ Safe travels! ❤️❤️

Katja van den Doel

Have a good trip and a good landing home. In all meanings.

Cate Whitehead

Oh, Amanda, I just listened and it is stunning and stirring and strong and beautiful and and and...love the harmonies and everything about this song. I read the lyrics first, and then was moved to tears (nothing new there) by the singing of your lyrics. Safe and gentle travels dear one xx

Chloe

Farewell Amanda and Ash! We were so lucky to have you with us in NZ for these strange times. Thank you for the performances on Waiheke and in particular for my moment of stardom holding your make-up mirror on stage at Omiha Hall. As the song that followed said, we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but I know we'll meet again. (We being all of New Zealand, not just me!)

Eli

Tears are streaming, dripping down and soaking my T-shirt. The melody, the voices, the harmonies, the story, the feels. It is heartbreakingly beautiful <3 Wishing you and little Ash a safe trip home

Sue

All the best for this new chapter. Thanks for supporting the community with all the fundraising you have done while here. It’s been great to go to your events. Keep shining.

Willinwoods

Love those lyrics, in and of themselves.

DoodleHeart

Please be safe in traveling back! This new song is amazing. There's so much love and heartache in it, and I love the juxtaposition of some of the lyrics. I absolutely love it. 💜 (I couldn't download the song, not sure if it's a me problem or what. I guess I need to download the SoundCloud app to do so?)

Kirsty Jackson

Farewell, stay well, take our love with you always *hugs*

Jenna Stewart

What a beautiful way to say goodbye, Amanda. You are such a special soul.

David Faux

Your life in New Zealand has been something of an incredible lifeline of perspective for me these past two years. . In the heart of the fear and the horror of deep Covid, your journey and stories, and those of your patrons and community allowed me to live above myself somewhat, and experience other in the face of it all. Thank you, for everything, but specifically for this song and how it connects so much of so many feelings. Reminding me once again that those beacons of hope and light are often just as complicated and fragile as the darkness from whence they are seen. Happy journeys to you and your son. Welcome home, as you depart another. May your return be a blessing on your heart and mind even as you find yourself yearning for elements of your time on that 'little island'.

Amanda Hunt

Love the big breath out at the end AFP. Keep breathing xx

Laura Wellner

Beautiful song. Welcome home to America. Love & hugs

Len Tower Jr.

a quite a song! i hope the different demographics it speaks to find it. it speaks to quite a few. like Jamie, i'm in the generation whose fathers & uncles served in WWII. it changed them. worth flying Julie to NY to get a better recording. in an acoustically better space. thanks for the lyrics. helps me take a song in easier. of course, as you awesomely do, there were interesting variances. -len

erica munhoz

thank you for sharing this beauty with us. I loved it so much. I love it when you share some of the people and things in the songs, especially in these new zealand songs, it feels like you reached a place that's even closer to the core of turthfulness and honesty you always speak about. You have been making these lyrics so beautifully balanced between the most personal and the most relatable, it's such a delicate balance. And when you tell us the names of these people who held you and Ash when you needed it so much it feels like we can find a line to send them love too. it's truly beautiful. I feel like I've left so many places in my life that I can relate to this moment deeply. Maybe that's why I've become sort of incapable to leave people. Safe travels home. I guess now you're a part of the group of people that have so many mixed feelings about that word. Home can become a strange concept that you feel like you lost the right to know (that's how I felt as a kid), but it can also become a word that means multiplicity. That's how I feel now. So many homes in so many places. Each of them special and deeply loved. P.S- I smiled listening to this and remembering the original new zealand song where you finish saying "but that's what you get when you ask me write a song about your country in twenty minutes". now you wrote a song about that same country in two years and two months. and it is perfect. I hope the cycleness of it all brings smiles to you and all your new zealand fans <3

Atlas Vipersnout

Oh my God I love this song so much. I have been listening to you for half my life. I have always loved your content. I was living an island life until covid happened and I had to move back to my hometown in the Midwest US. It was intense moving back after 8 years. I am not sorry to say that I am so excited that you are coming home! I have never seen you live and it is my goal to. I love and cherish all of your artwork so much. Safe travels you magnificent creature. 🥰

Jane Sharp

Oh Amanda that was beautiful. You broke my heart all over again xxx

Cathleen Falsani

Gorgeous. Thank you, dear-hearted Amanda, for sharing so much with so many of us. Hug that boy close to you, as I know you always will, and may you feel, in his childlike embrace, the love we have for you both. Bon Voyage and may the roads rise to meet you.

Katy Ewing

Beautifully done, and paints so vividly the place, the people, the impossible pain and joy at becoming entangled with a place and having to leave. And as others have said, the window you've provided into New Zealand's journey through the pandemic has been really wonderful, reassuring that there can be hope, with the right leadership and quick action. Thank you for all of it, and I hope you and Ash can find some time and space to process and to re-settle!

Melody P.

This song feels like the best kind of goodbye. The kind that only comes with the best memories, that cause you to feel nostalgic before you even leave a place. Where you know when you return (because in the deepest part of our hearts, deeper than where we hide our secrets, in that space where hope lives, you know you’ll return somehow, sometime), it won’t be the same even if the landscape is the same, because the people are different, the stories are different, and you’ve changed. In a lot of ways the NZ you’re leaving is the last time you’ll ever see it again. And that’s beautiful, in that it was so fleeting, so bright, and that it could never happen again. This song, with the vicarious experience of reading your posts while in NZ, is a culmination that makes me feel like the Welsh word, Hiraeth. hiraeth - (noun) a homesickness for a place you can never return to, a place which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for lost places of your past. Cheers to you Amanda, that you had the chance to have got away and settle in such a life changing space and moment. May you have and make many more spaces and memories like these that bring that strange mix of gratitude and grief that only comes with an experience well-lived. <3

Wendy Etter

👏👏👏 So beautiful. Right to the heart. The song. The harmony. The acoustics! Holy shit. 😭 It killed me.

Emilly Orr

This song slew me in the best ways. The harmony was intense and soul-lifting. The lyrics gutted and I still nodded along, seeing the parallels. And Jamie sounds like a very cool human. May you and Ash arrive safely...but more, may you stay safe, once you're back on dangerous US soil.

Ang Lingard

Oh, I'm so sad I didn't get to take part in the leaving party (ironically, I think, because I have Covid!). Safe home, Amanda and Ash, take our love with you x

Oorlab

safe journey!

Melissa Lockhart

What a gorgeous harmony! Waterworks are flowing yet again. Take good care of yourself and Ash during this transition. I pray it is gentle on you both. Welcome home and much love.

Laura Morland

Your lyrics are sooooo beautiful, Amanda! I have a question about the meaning of the penultimate line, but I'll save it for later. Can't wait to hear the song, but I have a deadline. I just want to say: I'm very much looking forwarding to reading about your culture shock when you return to New York. I'm predicting that you'll be VERY happy to see so many black and brown faces for the first time in over 26 months! New Zealanders are wonderful, but every time I see one of your images of a group of folks there (going back to the concert you gave in the Opera House in Havelock North), I can't help but think, #KiwisSoWhite. (Except for the Maori, of course, but still....) Bon voyage ! Kia pai te haere!

Kathryn Drew

I believe Auckland has a pretty high proportion of Maori AND Pacific Islanders, so plenty of black and brown faces... I guess they're just not at Amanda's events here. Havelock North definitely pretty white though!

Laura Morland

Good to know! (Although I've never seen any *black* Pacific Islanders; the ones I know are blessed with a light tan-colored skin. However, I've yet to visit NZ, and it sounds as if you know it pretty well!)

Dorit

So beautiful. Your voices work so well together. A lovely parting gift to make such a bitter-sweet moment.

Tabata

This song really moved me. And I felt the need to write down my reaction and my impressions. When the song ended I realized I was crying while chuckling. Just as it began I remember thinking to myself “I will either love it or hate it”. And then at some moment I started really paying attention to the lyrics. when they sang “Oh I love you little island Little island bigger than my mind” all the little hairs on my arms and legs raised up in in marvel. A particular phrase struck me and I could feel two tears dripping from my eyes “some of us are proud of what we brought here and some of us are proud of what we left behind” It matches perfectly with the phase of closure and new beginnings I am going through. Then I just savored the whole song, the rythm, words, the meaning and beautifully real feelings behind it. I lost myself in the music. I recently learned that I have this wondrous capacity. When a piece of art deeply moves me I get this special experience. I feel elevated, my sense of self fades and I feel a connection to something bigger, like a higher reality of common human feeling. At these moments I can almost believe that the jungian collective unconscious is a living breathing god-like being that englobes and connects all human experiences. And for a moment I manage to touch it. Some people find this feeling through religion, I experience it through music and art. I guess this is what transcendence feels like for me. Listening to this song I felt a moment of transcendence. So thank you so much for making this Amanda, julia, david, jamie and everyone who worked on it, and those who inspired it.

EmVT

❤️🥺 I hope Jamie already booked his ticket to NY to come see you ❤️ gorgeous ocean-size goodbye 🌊🌊🌊

Jozias

All my love for this intense beautiful song. Such a piece of art. Thank you Amanda and Julia and all who worked for it to release.

Margaret Schindler

I love that song. You caught me right in the feels with your feels and made me cry. ❤️ Soo much love. All of my best wishes for the next leg of your life journey!

Nicole Mack (Molly Angst)

Oh Amanda. As I write this I am in tears. This song is so personal and direct lyrically but resonates with a love and longing so universal it grabbed my heart and took me where it needed to go! You always have that for me. Thank you. Thank you for writing songs like this, that remind me of who I am, and how we connect, by golden threads, islands to islands, and even to me near a field in Indiana. A girl who needed her thread pulled today. Love you, glad you are back to American soil. Having you here again has to help some of us heal, and this is a giant step! 🖤