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*Edited with Transcript* The State of All Things: August 2022 (Patreon)

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2022-08-31 19:28:32
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**Hallo dear loves...just an EDIT from Saturday, Sept 3rd, around 1pm arizona time...and I'm reading all comments and will respond until this sentence is deleted. Greetings from Tucson, I'm only here for about 36 hours to bring my dad home, and there's not a lot of time to write, but I think I have an essay/piece in me that with your cheerleading, I will write on the plane home. Send me some cheer.

Meanwhile: one of our own, Damian Masterson, took it upon himself (without even being asked?? with his supermarket to run and two kids??) to transcribe the Althing video...so I'm just going to cut and paste it right up top here for those who didn't have the chance to watch it and would rather  READ. Here it be!!!:

*breathes out*

Here we are again.

So, this was supposed to be the month, August, where I unpacked, caught up, rested, recuperated from New Zealand; and spent time with my child, getting him integrated into this town, making him friends; and being a local, and hanging out with moms and parents, and taking him to swimming hole. And also, in there, a two week lovely visit from my dad. And the first week of the month went according to plan. The first week or so. And I worked my way up to the O+ festival, and then everything was going to be going according to plan.

And I’m not surprised anymore when the plan doesn’t really happen. So, instead, my dad was in the hospital for the better parts of three weeks, and he got Covid, and I got Covid. Ash has had a really rough landing, and so have I. Round and around we go. And I’m really tired, the Covid is making me very tired. And things not going according to plan is always exhausting. It’s hard to tell what’s the Covid and what’s not the Covid. However - look at this dancing curtain, just right on cue. Let me tell you this. I got really good in New Zealand at things not going according to plan. And I now plan for things not going according to plan, and it doesn’t really bug me anymore. And so much of it has to do with just laying down my ambitions, and my expectations, what I think I’m supposed to do, what I think Ash is supposed to do, what I think I’m supposed to accomplish, what I think it’s supposed to look like. I have set it all pretty much aside, and I’ve gotten really good at doing this day, and what this day requires.

I can’t remember if I wrote about this in the Art of Asking or not. Anthony gave me a lot of really great advice, and he had a lot of really quotable advice. And one of the things he used to say, general biggest life advice, was keep good company. And it’s been really shaking and enlightening to go from this experience I had in New Zealand, and sort like watching myself choose what, especially because I was usually attached to a child, so like there is company you keep when you're attached to a child, and the company you keep as a solo adult. And then coming back to America, what feels like a life time ago, even though it was just a few months, and just watching myself in the decisions I’m making in terms of what kind of company I want to keep. Who’s good to be around, and who’s not. It was almost like New Zealand was primary school for me. Like really learn this Amanda. Really think about it. Be really deliberate. Be really discerning. What kind of people do you want to be around? What are their qualities? What are you looking for? In a partner, in a friendship, in a lover, in whose going to watch your child, in everything? And I was saying to Coco, the other day we were doing yoga together. It just bubbled out of me, I said Coco, I just want to be with the gentle people. And she was like, Amen.

And then it needs to be a series of choices. And then I look at my life and my life choices for the last 20 years, and the kind of company I’ve kept, and the kind of company I’ve thought I needed to keep, and wanted to keep. I could look at a whole story from my teen years, up through now, and what turned me on, what excited me. And oh my god, like when I was a teenager, the gentle people were the enemy. Like really. They were the enemy. The gentle people were the boring people. The good, trustworthy, basic, honest kids, were like those were the kinds I wouldn’t hang out with. And now, all I want is to be around the gentle, easy-going, non-anxious, trustworthy, solid people. It’s such a 180. I really want it for Ash. And I’m also about to go back into the world of hardcore Rock and Roll. Like touring with the Dresden Dolls. Being what Andrew O’neil dubbed the night people. I’ve always been with the night people. The sexy glitter people. And thinking how do I marry these two worlds? How do I marry the world of the go-go boots and the world of the lunch boxes? What is it going to look like? And how can I make it amazing? And the Patreon is a huge part of it.

So, I want to say something to you guys with my eyes and my voice, I’m going to write about it in the All-Thing, but I’m so tired right now, and this month, this week, and and by all of the things, leaning heavily on this impromptu video to speak to you, but also we’re getting to watch the curtain dance. Loving it. The patreon is something that I am taking less and less for granted, not just as my financial safety net, my safe artistic community, my great sounding board, but also I think I’m going to need to start using the Patreon as a well to draw from as I start putting the world of upstate new york and my new life here, and a new crew, and a new staff, and the Dresden Dolls, and this property that I live on, and everything, and I’m like I need to be going to the Patreon more and asking for more. There’s so many good smart people. I just need to know what I’m asking for, and then I need the time and the bandwidth to accept that help, and the community that I know is there and is going to show up. And it’s going to take a second, but I’m really excited about it. I am excited to do what I used to do, which is really throw myself into the arms of the community and say, “ya know what, because you’re here, I trust you.” Because pretty much everyone who comes through this community is relatively gentle. Cause this community has sort of Darwinianly weeded out the assholes.

So that’s like on the horizon. And you guys will know that like my shit is finally landing, and I’m finally getting my shit together when you see me start asking. Like you for help. Sophie Strand and Holly Miranda and I are in a little text group, and so Holly Miranda - who is this great local musician - was commenting that when the Earth is too dry, when there is too much drought, of which there is right here now, we just got some rain yesterday, it’s been dry and brown, and I know the UK is going through dry and brown, and everyone is seeing the massive metaphorical poetry in all of this. When the ground dries up, it can’t even accept rain, right? Like things get too hard, and too dry, and then the rain comes and it’s just a fucking flooded mess, and that’s kind of how I feel right now. I feel like I have been in drought for so long that like even a helpful coming by with a watering can is like - things need to happen really slowly for me to even be able to accept help. Because you need to be - this is sort of like The Art of Asking Part II, in order to accept help you need to have laid the groundwork for the ability to accept help. Like if people are going to bring casseroles and food over to your house because you're in grief, and your partner has died, you have to at least have the ability to make space in your fridge. For the casseroles. And space in the freezer for the frozen soups, because otherwise all of these people will drop this shit on your doorstep, or if you have covid, or whatever, and it will just rot.

On the same note, I have not opened my mail since I got back from New Zealand. I keep waiting for the right day to do it, and I’m like it’s been sitting here. There are packages that have shown up on my doorstep in NY since March 2020, and I’m just looking at this giant pile of mail, going like, I thought I was going to have time in August to have like an entire mail day. So, instead of opening up a package here or there, I’m just not opening the mail. Because the ground is too dry. I don’t even know where to start. I need to make space in the fridge, nad and the freezer before I can open up even like a single letter, or package, because all of those things need time and attention and if I don’t have the time and attention to give them, then whatever goodness and loveliness is in these packages, most of which are gifts and stuff, like I won’t be able to receive it. I need time. And energy to do that.

So, those are my thoughts of the moment. I have to go really slow right now, and I’m going slow, and I got good at it, and I’m like I’m in kind of an awe and appreciation that I have changed this much, this bigly, in just three years. Because the person I was three years ago in this house, oh my god, in between the American tour and the European tour of There Will be No Intermission, Very different person. Very different artist.

On a high note, let me end on a high note. Is the curtain still dancing? No the curtain’s not dancing, so I’ll just show you me. The high note is, The Dresden Dolls are playing in November. I know you’ve all seen that happening. The shows sold out really fast. It’s awesome. It’s exciting. And I have written and scrapped, in my head and also at my desk, like a couple of Dresden Dolls records. And I cannot wait, I cannot fucking wait, to do this. And to actually sort of start from scratch, and write a new record to make with Brian. To this moment. Like to write to this moment. To this moment in my life. To this moment of everything that’s changed. To Ash. To, as a fucking love letter to the gentle people. As a real moment in time. It’s so exciting. It’s so exciting. I cannot wait to sit down at a piano and see what comes out, because The Dresden Dolls are a fucking amazing vehicle. It’s like having a lamborghini in the porch for like this many years, and going like “I can’t drive it”. Like getting to write music for The Dresden Dolls, knowing that I’m going to tour it around the world, and knowing that I’m going to record it, is like taking the keys of the hook and sitting down in the lamborghini and going like “Hawwww, this thing goes so fast”. That’s very exciting. And as I slowly open the mail and clear away the debris, those are going to be the real joyous artistic moments in my life for next couple months. And I’ll play that material at the Dolls’s shows. And then eventually everyone will here it and that’s making me excited.

And I’m also just trying to take care of my body because covid, and I’m tired by 6 o’clock every night. And It’s real, the tiredness is real. You were all right.

On that note, I’m gonna leave you. This has been one of the poetry books by my bed lately. Dorthy Parker. I’m not even going to read you a whole poem, I’m going to read you my favorite line from one of the Dorothy Parker poems that I read the other night. It’s a line from a poem, called ‘The Whistling Girl’. Ok, two stanzas, back to back. These are really good. This is the song that I’m singing. This is the song Dorothy Parker was singing. Ok, no, three stanzas. I should just read you the whole poem, but I’m not. You’ll have to go look it up yourself. Alright, ready? Ready?

“"Better to shiver beneath the stars,
Head on a faithless breast,
Than peer at the night through rusted bars,
And share an irksome rest.

"Better to see the dawn come up,
Along of a trifling one,
Than set a steady man's cloth and cup
And pray the day be done.

"Better be left by twenty dears
Than lie in a loveless bed;
Better a loaf that's wet with tears
Than cold, unsalted bread."

Don’t you want to just make love to Dorothy Parker all night long? Alright, that’s what I’ve got for you, my dears. I’m gonna read all the comments in the All-Thing. And I’m gonna set up a time for a webcast next week. Steady as she goes. There will be no fucking intermission. Ever.

I love you all so much. Bye.

......

THANK YOU DAMIAN!!!!!! I OWE YOU A DONUT.

Back to the OG post....

......

Theme: I'm tired. From Covid, from everything. I made a little twenty-minute video (above, just press play!), rambling about some wider thoughts and takeaways...and Alex would usually transcribe it but he's off the clock and it's the end of the month and Althing Deadline Time, so forgive us that one.

I'm gonna do my best. As I say in the video, I'm going to need you all, but I'm not even ready to be able to need you yet. If you know what I mean. I treasure this community.

Contents of this Althing:

  • YER BASIC LIFE UPDATE
  • WHAT'S HAPPENED THIS MONTH...
  • PROJECTS RELEASED THIS MONTH...
  • WHAT'S COMING DOWN THE PIKE...
  • DISPATCHES FROM TEAM AFP...
  • HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING...
  • OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT & FOLLOW...
  • ART BEGETTING ART...
  • THE PATRON COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD...!

......

A LITTLE LIFE UPDATE

Well, then.

I say it in the video and I'll say it here... the "There Will Be No Intermission" theme seems to be a goddamn permanent one.

August was meant to be the low-speed and delicious catch-up month before Ash started school and instead, once again, (am I surprised?) very little happened but emergency triage: dealing with Covid, finally and spending the better part of three weeks going back and forth to two different hospitals in the area where my dad, Jack, wound up because that's just the way it goes sometimes.

The good news? He's out and he's good. We are both now Covid-negative, he was finally sprung the hospital a couple days ago, and he's here at my house in Bearsville til Friday when we are going to both fly to the west coast to get him settled at home again. 

It was so hard to watch him going though the hospital hell with the Covid on top. We were both lonely; there was a long stretch of days where I wasn't allowed couldn't visit because of my own Covid, and he spent the entire stretch of his Covid - almost three weeks - not allowed out of his room, even into the hall to take a walk. Necessary, but hard. Covid hospital prison. I'm sure this has been a familiar story for many families, and I'm sure a lot of the stories are far worse.

I am thinking of my America friend who had to say goodbye to her grandmother, who more or less practically raised her, as she died on facetime. I am thinking of all the horrors echoing over the last few years that we still haven't even heard about. I am trying not to think too much.

I consider us lucky. Here we are on release day...looking over the beautiful Hudson Valley.

Note the Aotearoa pounamu. :)

And so...

so it goes.

I take it slower once again.

I took the vehicle of my life from a constant 110 mph down to 85, down to 75, down to 55, down to 35, then finally down to 10pmh...and when I thought I could go no slower, I took it down to 5mph.

I am not almost idling.

But I don't mind. 

This was all so necessary, and I know it. It couldn't go on at that speed, anyway. And you have to stop a vehicle before you can turn it around.

I am turning the vehicle around. It needs an oil change, a full new set of tires. 

Or, as I'm enjoying saying lately: it is not a great practice to build a plane during take-off.

One. Thing. At. A Time.

And as I say in the video: the drought-ground will not take a flood of water. It has to go drop, by drop, by drop.

I'm so tired from the Covid. I know I have to listen to my body, to my heart-head. I cannot take every call, I cannot answer every text, I cannot follow up on every chat I had in July, when I thought August would be expansive, I cannot do very project...I cannot even open the mail.

I can make dinner.

I can do the dishes. 

I can sit on the porch.

I can water the plants. 

I can not water the plants, and forgive myself when they get sad and dry.

I cannot fix the climate crisis.

I can get a bath ready, and get a kid to bed. 

I can sometimes make a phone call.

I can go for a very slow walk.

That is pretty much all I have in me.

And I will not push myself. I have seen where it leads.

I can read a short poem. I can think a short poem.

I can allow a poem to be read to me, and fall into the arms of the poem.

I can know I am the poem, and so are you.

That's all I have right now, and I know it is enough.

......

WHAT ELSE HAS HAPPENED THIS MONTH....?

I did a webcast for the $10 tiers and above - Michael came on, and Hayley came on too.  TEAM AFP REUNION TIME.

It was a really beautiful one...and I don't always do this, but I've opened up the archive to all levels. So anybody can catch up with the webcast HERE:

https://www.crowdcast.io/e/u10elzj6

I'll schedule the next one very soon...stay tuned.

I was hoping to do one this week, or next week, but...everything happened.

Next week may work. Just hold the phone.

......

And SPEAKING OF WEBCASTS....

we also live-streamed my show at the O+ festival in upstate New York, which was also my FIRST (and very probably ONLY) full show here in the US since 2019. 

Eek.

The benefit raised $25,000 (!) for the cause...it was a gorgeous and soulful show full of guests, covers, surprises, all in the stunning Old Dutch Church in Kingston, New York. I have a feeling I'll be back there to play more shows. It was incredible:

I want to point out the obvious:

YOUR PATRONAGE HELPED RAISE A TON OF THIS MONEY. 

The patreon is a really beautiful circle. What we are able to collectively pump into the goodwill karma is pretty incredible. With the patron funds, I'm able to not only cover my nut and costs, but also do stuff like this for free that is so, so important for the community at large. Please don't forget this, and how amazing it is that it works, and give yourself a pat on the back.

The patreon is about more than me just having money to afford life and art. It goes bigger and wider than that, because of your trust.

So...fuck yes patreon.

We "Thinged" the full webcast to fund its existence, so you can read all about the show and see a TON of photos here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/70740928/

....and rewatch the webcast itself here:

https://www.crowdcast.io/e/anotherworld081322

......

And...... then the day after the show, I came down with covid.

That was August 13th.

My dad just got out of the hospital a few days ago, and it's more or less been a work-blackout since then.

But it was also a weird gift.

You know me.

I love a weird gift.

The weird gift was that, after about a week and change in the ICU in Rhinebeck (which is about a 40 minute drive across the river from my house in Bearsville), my dad got transferred to what I called "Covid Siberia"....a tiny little hopsital in the mountains in a town I'd never heard of. Ellenville.

That was the only hospital that would take patients with Covid.

Well...it turns out that the hour long drive to Ellenville, NY, is one of the most stunning summer drives in the world.

Every day, I spent at least couple hours in the car, wending through the mountains, falling quietly in love with Stone Ridge, Kerhonksen, Accord, Mohonk Mountain, Sam's Peak, High Falls, Widow Jane Mine...these little swimming spots and neighborhoods that have always been a stone's throw from my house but I've always been too harried and too pre-occupied to explore. 

It was like the universe forcing my hand to embrace the nature that's always been right on my doorstep but I've had my face shoved in a screen too much to notice. Here are some of the highlights.

I've fallen in love, and didn't expect to. I have my dad and the weirdness of the NY hospital system, to thank for that.

Like mother like son....

To all the helpers....

Near Sam's Peak....

The water is still delicious...

AHHHHHHHH.

ARE YOU HERE YOU ARE

I also spent many, many, many hours in bed with Covid.

I got no pictures of that.

It was just me, looking dumb and sleepy.

.......

And, in addition to all that waylay beauty....I got two beautiful moments of Art Respite over the last few weeks.

One was taking Ash to a free/pay-what-you-can outdoor performance of Midsummer Night's Dream here in Woodstock...(there's a cute little Instagram post with some footage here).

My happy place, truly. Seeing people make theater from their hearts.

I was so impressed that Ash made it through the entire two hours of the show without disrupting. He's in love with Puck. He is puck.

And I took Ash to see an Earth Opera in the Widow Jane Mine...a venue that I'd love to do some exciting things in now that I know it exists.

The Widow Jane Mine is an impossibly gorgeous venue, and only about 30 minutes from my house; you bring your own chair. It’s an old limestone quarry in Rosendale, NY, the empty space which was hollowed out oh so long ago went to create the imposing limestone buildings of manhattan.

Displacement. Upstate building Downstate. What makes a city a city. What makes a cave a cave. The underground lake is an opera in itself....

I fantasize about the dolls doing something here. Last month I took Ash to some taiko drumming (THE SOUND!!!!) in the Cave and this month, there was an "Earth opera" from Elizabeth Clark, fellow patreon artist (see plug below!), with a cast of over 30 people...and candles in the audience...

Ash and I had to kick around the edges due to his inability to be, y'know, silent, but enjoying an opera from the edges of a mine-mouth in a forest is a magical experience in itself.....

There's some more photos and video footage from the show and venue that I took here...

......

ANDDDDDD

YES:

THE DRESDEN DOLLS TRIUMPHANT RETURN IS AFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tickets came and went in the space of 3 hours, all gone completely to the mailing list.

Some people were upset that the tickets all went to the mailing list, so....I will reiterate again:

1. THE DRESDEN DOLLS WILL BE COMING BACK, WORLDWIDE.

2. THE MAILING LIST WILL ALWAYS GET FIRST ACCESS. 

3. IF YOU AREN'T ON THE LIST, GET SUBSCRIBED NOW:

http://dresdendolls.com/emaillist

4. THE END.

We have also learned from our mistakes this round, and next time we will announce a TIME for tickets going on sale, so you won't be frantically checking your emails all hours of the day and night. SORRY. We live, we learn. 

In the mean time, we have put the new merch collection up for pre-order on the website, all designed by the incredible @cocorrina!!!!

It's all up for pre-order now on both the US store AND the UK store.

Go get. 

......

PROJECTS RELEASED THIS MONTH....

My podcast with Susan Cain "Longing For The Beautiful World" FIIIIIINALLY came out after sitting on the backburner since August 2019, as we waited for her book to come out into the world.

Now the BOOK is out, the PODCAST is out, and you can go and fill your ears with Susan.

The podcast it in all the usual podcast places, and you can read about it here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/66684830

And her new book, "Bittersweet: How Sorrow And Longing Make Us Whole" is an incredible read that I think will touch a nerve with many people here..... just a hunch.

https://susancain.net/book/bittersweet/

......

ANOTHER WORLD: streaming from the O+ Festival in Kingston, New York

As mentioned up above, we recorded and live-streamed the show, and it's available to re-watch now.

https://www.crowdcast.io/e/anotherworld081322

The link to watch is public, so go share far and wide!!

And you can read all the behind the scenes info and see a ton of photos in the Patreon post here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/o-fundraiser-so-70740928

......

WHAT'S COMING DOWN THE PIKE

There are a few projects that have been in the shoebox, but are getting close to the finish line...god, I hope.

I am endlessly patient with myself and I know you are too.

Life happens. Covid happens.

Whatever.

My prayer, is that "Look Mummy, No Hands" music video will see the light of day this fall.

A few more sneak peeks of the video so far for you...

If and when it comes out three years late, it'll have more meaning than you can ever imagine.

......

THE Mona Foma Confessional documentary, filmed in Tasmania in 2019, where I held a confession booth before my show....this one I hope to get out the door, too. The project led to the song "Suck it Up, Buttercup", and it's a goodone....the release of which got sucked up by the bushfires and Covid. Time to ponder that.

It's all just been delayed and delayed.

Here's a still from the doco:

......

And a couple of projects that I have swimming around in my mind for the future...

A video/reading collaboration with Sophie Stand and Holly Miranda?....Sophie Strand is a new friend up here in Woodstock, you can see her in the live-streamed show from O+ Festival. She did an INCREDIBLE READING of her own work and Holly and I thought it might be beautiful to THING and make a youtube video of the reading....with video footage that Holly collaged together. Who's Holly? Holly Miranda is a beautiful singer and songwriter who was meant to join us that night too, but came down with covid before the show. FULL CIRCLE CIRCLING.

Stay tuned for that.

......

The Great Burning Of Things

You may remember back in 2018 when I was working on the artwork for There Will Be No Intermission, we put a call out for you to SEND US ITEMS that you wanted out of your life.

We used them in the artwork...

(and now you can also BUY THAT IMAGE AS A PUZZLE - IN THE US OR THE UK STORES)

... and then we promised to burn everything in a huge, ceremonial bonfire.

And then I went on tour.

And then Covid happened.

And then New Zealand happened.

And then now happened.

So.... CATHARTIC BONFIRE??? 

WHEN??? WHO WANTS TO COME TO WOODSTOCK AS WE BURN ALL THE THINGS????

I'm sure we can turn it into Art and make a Thing out of it.

Maybe there's a new video to be made.

I don't know.

I feel this stuff must be extra-burned at this point.

Talk to me.

......

DISPATCHES FROM TEAM AFP

FROM ALEX...

Hi patrons!

In between patreon-post-assembling and merch-dispatching this month, I managed to sneak away for a few days at the Edinburgh Fringe festival...

I've been going regularly since 2011, so the last two years have left a big arty hole in my heart. This year I managed to catch 27 shows in 4 days, and my GOD that hole has been healed in the most beautiful way.

In case you've never been to the Fringe, let me set the scene: THE ENTIRE CITY IS JUST FULL OF ART.

And when I say 'the entire city'..... anywhere that can potentially become a theatre venue becomes a theatre venue. Of course you have your actual theatres, and your back-rooms in pubs, but then you also have lecture theatres, hotel conference rooms, random marquees popped up. There are about 200 spaces across the city that become venues. And then they host shows, all day, every day, for 4 entire weeks. Starting about 10am, and going right through until 2am, there are things happening every.

Theatre, music, theatre, ballet, opera, stand-up, magic, drag... anything you can think of, IT'S HAPPENING THERE.

And it made me so happy just to be back there again this year, I cried at least twice just because it was happening.

The best thing I saw? "Lies, Damned Lies, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer" - an hour-long comedy presentation by a man who had painstakingly recorded every single death in the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (including location, perpetrator, method, weapon, minute within the episode that it occurred, and 20 other data points) and then extrapolated a whole bunch of information about what this means for an "average" death and what death actually means within a show all about death.

The most uncomfortable thing I saw? "Flight" - inside a shipping container that had been completely dressed up to look like the inside of a plane cabin, you take your assigned seat within the plane, put on the headphones... and then the entire place goes pitch-black, and the 25 minute show is all done entirely through immersive audio, where there are two versions of events cutting through each other - one where the plane lands safely, and one where the plane crashes. SCHRODINGER'S PLANE CRASH.

Anyway. That's enough of my preaching about the fringe festival (IT'S THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD)

(me and a giraffe near the edinburgh castle)

CATCH YA NEXT MONTH

-Alex

xoxox

{Seconded on the fringe recommendation for "Flight", I saw it a few years ago and was deeply moved (no pun intended). WE LOVE YOU ALEX......xxxxx - AFP}

........

The rest of Team AFP is busy and tired.

Love them all, please.

It's a slow, sad season.

.........

HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING!

As of this writing there are about 11,200 patrons pledging about $36,000 for the first Thing each month.

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE FOR NEWCOMERS: you are welcome to (and encouraged to) CAP YOUR PLEDGE! PLEASE.

Your pledge on Patreon supports me per Thing that I release, but sometimes it's unpredictable how many Things will come out in a month (sometimes it's just 1, usually it's 2 or 3, we have been known to do 6 or 7).

We know this can create financial insecurity and uncertainty - so Patreon allows you to cap your pledge. This is, essentially, setting a MAXIMUM amount that you want to pay per month. YOU CAN BUDGET. Say for example, you're happy to pay $3 per Thing, but you don't want to pay more than $10 a month. In that's the case, you can "cap" your pledge at $10, and whether I release 4 Things or 40 Things, you won't be charged more than $10. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, you will still have access to ALL the things, even if you cap your pledge!!! It doesn't effect access.

You can read all about capping your pledge here.

I go over this stuff in every Althing, but if you're new to all this: Patreon charges you monthly & retroactively, meaning that you get billed on the 1st of the month for all the Things released the month prior.

Because people have their pledges capped (SEE ABOVE), the first "Thing" raises the most money by far, and anything released thereafter raises less and less. I LIKE THIS! THIS IS GOOD! It means I never feel guilty about releasing TOO MUCH!! So really. Please, cap your pledge if you are on a budget.

In July, I Thanged THREE Things:

Millenium Actress, which earned about $40,329 from 11,220 patrons

Breaking The Stained Glass Ceiling: Two Pieces of Writing, which earned about $16,776 from 6,206 patrons

The State of All Things: July 2022, which earned about $9,620 from 3,765 patrons

(we say "about" because patreon may be still trying to process some pledges that have yet to go through...we never know, you know.)

Them's the numbers.

And remember: these numbers are gross. Not net. Meaning: it's the money raised before fees were deducted by patreon and is not the total deposited to me. patreon takes a 5% fee (which they use to build and sustain the platform, which is GOOD) and then there's a payment processing fee, which varies on a ton of factors and is usually between 5-9% of the total collected.

These numbers also do not reflect the money I SPENT MAKING THE ART, paying my staff, paying the office rent, paying for crowdcast, getting myself around, getting the team around and fed and slept, all the collaborators, and my actual staff payroll, etc.

I don't share that level of nitty-detail-stuff with you because I assume it would bore you to fucking tears. but you can trust me: paying for a full-time staff, office, manager, accountant, and massive team of art-collaborators ain't cheap. sometimes we barely break even.

......

OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT & FOLLOW

Chris Wells (MC from the O+ Festival show, and beloved friend) has started up a new podcast, called "Big & Salty"...

It's a series of stories, told in front of a live audience. I highly recommend for short doses of funny and beautiful storytelling.

Check it out here

............

If you want to support a local artist doing cool operas in MINES, as seen above, Elizabeth Clark is here on patreon and it's a lovely little community if you wanna support something hyper-local! https://www.patreon.com/mamalamamusic

..................

A slightly more unusual support request than usual, but our pals at the O Positive festival are planning for their next event - and if you're local to Kingston, NY YOU CAN HELP!!!

From their Instagram: 

Do you have a spare room in your home? Do you have a second home or apartment in town? Or a really comfortable couch, a finished basement, a yard that is perfect for camping in, or an RV in your driveway? Are you a hotel, B&B or apartment building manager who would like to offer a room or two or ten to support a local arts non-profit organization through an in-kind donation?

The O+ Festival is seeking accommodations for artists and musicians who will be performing, exhibiting, producing and activating the City of Kingston during the 12th Annual O+ Festival October 7-9, 2022. Sign up here: http://bit/ly/ohousing 

......

ART BEGETTING ART

Don't forget, if you would like to see your art featured here, you can tag e on social media @amandapalmer, or email to art@amandapalmer.net!

For this month.....I really loved this one from keatsjhn on twitter...especially how the red looks like blood running down my thighs. and the intermission-less ukulele. and the wings on which I imagine flying far far away.

I love the endless circle of art.

Here's a gorgeous piece from @katscarletart:

Some creepy gothic-looking Evelyn Evelyn twins from @jackalope_in_your_walls:

....and to celebrate our return, THE DRESDEN DOLLS IN ANIMAL CROSSING. created by @themouseandthemodel .

WHOA.

......

THE PATRON COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD!

This is a space for YOU, the patrons, to share things with the community - if you've got a new book to promote, you've just started a podcast, you're fundraising for charity, or need assistance for yourself - THIS IS YOUR SPACE. Send us an email at patronhelp@amandapalmer.net if you'd like to post something here next month!

For this month...

Patron Dan Moran sent through this GoFundMe for their dear friend, Christian.

Christian Thee, world renown artist, is facing foreclosure on his modest Columbia, SC home/studio where he has created amazing art since 1994. His career actually goes much further back with many years living & working in New York as a set designer and mural artist (some of his clients were Joan Rivers, Donald Trump, and the Royal Family of Britain!) The pandemic hit his business very hard and has put him behind on taxes & insurance and now his livelihood is in jeopardy. His home/studio is very special and irreplaceable. It is unthinkable that it could be taken away from him. His friends have created this GoFundMe to raise the money needed to pay those past due obligations. Any donation would be deeply appreciated. Thank you.

https://gofund.me/73d85e28

To learn more about Christian's life and works, check out these articles:

https://theartmag.com/the-arts/chrisitan-thee-revisits-charleston-35-years-after-creating-the-original-spoleto-festival-poster/

https://www.postandcourier.com/free-times/archives/christian-thee-a-life-behind-the-curtain/article_178b5c47-394e-5419-9219-92221048ef60.html

https://www.nytimes.com/1986/11/16/nyregion/artist-specializes-in-tricking-the-eye.html

Again, the link to the fundraiser is here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-christian-stay-in-his-home

......

That's all I got this month, my loves.

I hope I have time to surface soon, but given the way things are going, it's going to be an endlessly slow recovery and pace of life,

and I'm

fine

with 

it.

I submit to the planless plan, whatever it is, people.

Steady, steady, steady as she goes.

x

A

P.S. If you made it to the end of the video...here you are.

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 150 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

Files

Previews only

Comments

Jacob

Just wanted to say I really adored the cover of “Another World” you did on the livestream. I discovered ANOHNI/The Johnsons from a random bootleg where you covered “Hope There’s Someone” back in ‘06, and it felt like a full-circle moment.

amandapalmer
>>90713105

YES! if i hadnt been so under the weather I was hopefully going to post the individual clips from the shows of the covers...but they're coming. everything's just stopped right now. xxx

Francine Hibiscus

Pretend I said something cogent, and funny, and incisive here, mmmkay? I can feel the words bubbling away in the back of my head but they are not coming out anytime soon. WHOOPS! Onward, right? HUZZAH FOR JACK!!!!!

Rania Webber

The Thing got a bit too big for me, but boy did I love looking at the pictures. I keep coming back to the one of you sprawled with All The Things. I'll come back and nibble on more bits as I miss you, every so often. I am so excited about the DD coming back! You come to Europe, I'll use my passport( - please let me not becoming a groupie in my 30s.....) Much love.

Katie Ní Mhaoláin

Absolutely enthralled by Kat Scarlett's piece. Simply beautiful. I'm also chuckling a little at the coincidence of the Evelyn Evelyn artwork being posted today. This morning, I found my old Elephant Elephant tote bag and took it with me to my first day back at work after summer holidays. It's an Evelyn Evelyn kind of day.

Katie Ní Mhaoláin
>>90713469

I second this. PLEASE come back to Europe. The London gig a few Halloweens ago was the best night of my life

Aqualynne Carnahan

I got to visit my daughters and grandchildren for the first time in YEARS last week. We didn't do much except paint our nails, binge videos and relax together. Best vacation ever. I only realized afterward how much nothing I needed in my life. I saw more beauty, listened to new music and connected. With real people. It was glorious. I am sorry that you and your family went through that, Amand. I am. But once last week when we were making plans I literally said, "I am not sure we need to plan so hard. Let's just prepare and see what happens." Totally inspired by this community. 100% from reading that other humans said that it's okay to live in the moment. I ❤️ this little corner of the universe.

Raeesah Noor Mahomed

I love you I love you I love you, I think about you so much. I switched one of my majors from film to theatre and I think I made the right choice. I feel guilty for not doing as much as I could be doing to help the world but I'm also trying to remember that I'm only 20 and I have a whole life to grow and learn and help. I think you'd be proud of me just for living my 20 year old life. I'm going to Tunisia at the end of September for a climate camp. There was an application process but I didn't even apply, Greenpeace just invited me and its paid for. Your voice is always in my head "is this fair?" and the yes, it is fair. I hope you're feeling better and I would so love to come visit you one day. Maybe I won't be there for the big burning but maybe we could make a small fire and throw some small things into it and then roast marshmallows. I love you.

Serious Monkey

Wow there Tribe-Lady. It's exciting to learn about all that you have had on the back burner. I look forward to all of it. I won't make it to Woodstock so please enjoy burning my thing in the cathartic bonfire. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I'm glad you got a break. I had Covid last month as well. I did not have a good time. Grateful for health!! Love and regards Ms. Fucking-Palmer.

Rania Webber
>>90713469

I made it to that (I think?) Two nights at troxy? Travelled from Yorkshire, didn't pay enough attention, on night 1 I ended up going to a place called Roxy club instead. Made it in time, thankfully, to weep through a good chunk of the night, only for a stranger to come offer me a hug when the show was over. Night two was less eventful, equally brilliant!

Katie Ní Mhaoláin
>>90713469

Yes, though I flew over from Dublin and don't know London well so I don't remember the name of the theatre, but I think that was the one. It was beautiful. I too hugged several strangers. Love AFP's shows for that reason, I've never felt such a sense of community at any other concert

HeatherAsh Amara

That is one thing I also appreciated about covid… slowww walks, caterpillar slow moving, everything 1/4 speed. Thank goddess your papa is ok and out of the hospital. Damn. How about a burning and sacred Firewalk ceremony in October or December? Could be amazing…. I’d love to share the catharsis of a firewalk with you and friends. And yes for YouTube with Sophie and Holly!!!!❤️

Lumi Aurora Valo

Dear Amanda! I see you, I hear you and I feel you. Tired is the only steady feeling in my life the last years. I can't remember when I felt really ready to face a day the last time. You are a wonderful person and I am grateful for being a part of your tribe. Your well-being means a lot to me and I hope you can do everything possible to make sure that you get well, even if the best thing you can do is just breathe. I love you ❤️

Sofia Lopes

Oh Amanda, I'm so glad you and Jack are both officially Covid-negative. I lost my mom to Covid after an excruciatingly long hospital stay, and every time someone I know and love comes back (mostly) unscathed from the Covid shitshow feels a little bit like a personal victory. Also, I'm over the moon about the Dolls' comeback. I won't be able to see you in November, but I'll most definitely be there in spirit. The world is in dire need of you and Brian and the wonderful raging punk cabaret fire only you can set alight ❤️

Janet in Georgia

OH MY I TOTALLY FORGOT about my thing to be burned!!!! Mine was the cure show vhs case by your foot. I STILL have not and will probably never find the tape. It needed to go. I do wonder where it went to. I cannot wait for a Dresden dolls show!!! It makes my heart flutter thinking about seeing you and Brian on stage together again in my face up close and personal. I need that in my life again. Desperately. Count me in. Love always. ❤️

Catherine Hannah

So, so glad you and your dad are better and so glad your dad is busted out of health jail, tooo!... 🥰❤️ Safe journeys and still rest, rest, rest... We got you, we got you... Loves to everyone ---

Doug Ryan

Glad your dad is out of the hospital. What another tough month for you. Beautiful photo of you both out in the sun. Says a lot.Hope you find a healthy balance of rest and recovery mixed with enough artistic expression that you don’t feel it bottling up. Good luck with it all. You’re doing great things. Sometimes resting and recouping needs to be one of them.

DJAngieC

Always sending love. Thanks for sending it back. <3

Angel Rosen

Hi Amanda 💜 I would transcribe anything for you if you need if others aren't available. My schedule is pretty flexible since I manage the office I work at. Feel free to ask any time. I think the night people and the gentlepeople are mostly the same. Maybe some night people are rough around the edges, but we are all seeking a certain kind of softness. I have learned a lot about the quality of the company I keep because my truest friend moved away six weeks ago. There is no replacement for someone who understands everything about the way you work and understands your needs, experiences and joys and is invested in your soul. The unspoken goodness. I am on a journey to find nothing less than that. I can't wait to see you in November! One of the other patrons, Suzanne, has offered to pick me up since she's driving from the west. This community makes me feel so loved and included. I'll be there Friday and Saturday, and the patron after party on Sunday if you plan to do that. Do you think you'll play Thirty Whacks or Bank of Boston Beauty Queen? I really hope you do. You have our endless permission to be both slow and gentle. About the mail... when you were in New Zealand, I wrote a poem for Ash and mailed it to him in a little blue envelope with a card that has monsters on it. It's a short children's story-type poem. Maybe I could read it on a webcast sometime, since the mail is not a source of joy for you right now. I think you've really got a hold on things. You're so smart and I am unbelievably proud of the person you are now. I've always been proud, but you are so soft and real. I have loved watching you transform. Welcome home. You are loved and held. 🤍

Bethany Olson

I also finally got The Covid last month. It was the only thing I brought home from Disneyland. Seriously, no money, tons of crap for the Spawn, and I finally got the special Magical Kingdom version. My daughter had a blast, all the things that she should get from her first time. So yeah, expensive AF but the look on her face. Worth it. And I got to meet Darth Vader on my 13 year wedding anniversary so there’s that. What happened. I used to go to raves and dance all night, drive from here in Seattle to San Francisco and back in a single weekend, and dear god where does all this fucking LAUNDRY come from? The last couple of years have seen me barrel into a massive health crisis “full tilt boogie til the wheels fall off” as my mom says. Kidney failure, intubated, the whole fun package. While I finally know what’s up, (scleroderma), it’s incurable so that’s fun too. Trying to be a mother has made me want to literally curl in a ball and die more than once. Fortunately for me my mom lives a mile away and I can still go curl up in her lap and let her scent, the temperature of her skin as she strokes my forehead, the sound of her humming the little soothy noises that mean nothing and also mean everything, the *feel* of her. My mother is my map of the world. So it’s funny you mention “Look Mummy No Hands” because the entire concept of motherhood has me by the short and curly’s right now. And that song is my favorite from the album, hands down. I’m rambling. I know you know how fucking *tired* I am sometimes of being the mom in the story and that’s why I go regress to emotional infancy because when I stop being mom and it’s time to be daughter, it’s my mom whose comfort I crave above all. Lately I’m thinking more and more about when she will die, because it will happen. I turn 50 on Sunday. Mom is 77. And the barest tendril of acknowledgement that this will happen brings me to a shuddering, paralyzed, incoherent level of cognitive dissonance that can’t be described with any current means or measures with modern technology. I can’t. Breathe. Lose my mom. No. Nononono. That’s all I can manage before I slam the suspension of disbelief right back down on that fucker and the knowledge that my mommy will leave me becomes lobotomized. Motherhood. Being a daughter and a mother. It’s a fucking shitshow of uncalibrated wonder, terror, pride, and of course incandescent joy. My mom looks at me like her gift to the world and I just want to manage to raise my own kid to functional adulthood without her needing the extensive therapy I required. (Another mom thing to celebrate. She paid for every last dime. Enough to buy a house. In todays market. And it wasn’t even her that messed me up in the first place, that honor goes to the sperm donor whose genes I carry.) If my daughter is my gift to the world, there will be frantic calls to customer service, there will be running and screaming, and there will be chaos. But it won’t be boring. And maybe that’s a gift in itself. I’m doing all I can to give Ripley a shot at a future as a good human being who does good in the world around her, cares about things passionately, (even if they’re weird ass things like lankybox. Seriously, child. Live your passion but WHY?) So. The state of all things. I turn 50 on Sunday. My daughter started second grade today. My bonus son is taking me fishing for my birthday. My kidneys are struggling to do their job properly. My skin shows every second of my life’s bad choices all over it. I struggle. I cry in secret. I listen to music that makes me feel so that I don’t forget how with all the emotions so overload making me difficult to engage. And one of the songs on repeat is look mummy no hands. So I’ve come full circle. Thanks for existing, heart sister. Know that the fact that you exist here in this moment is a sliver of soft darkness in a world of overwhelming and unbearable light and noise. My mother’s lap. My map of the world.

Alessandor Earnest

“My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends— It gives a lovely light!” ― Edna St. Vincent Millay, A Few Figs from Thistles I’ve had this poem in my head for weeks. It slips in when I'm at the edge of consciousness and lingers, coloring my dreams. It was written about a hundred years ago and is regarded as an iconic representation of life during the Roaring Twenties. Art from the past has a lot to say about the moment we're in now. Creative burnout. History repeats.

Anna McCotter

If you burn it, we will come. And I thoroughly love the picture of you and your dad. It made me tear up. … I actually just opened the puzzle 3 days ago. A part of me would like to put it to get her but all I seem to be doing is looking through every little piece with a smile on my face. Because mostly I know where it belongs, what it’s close to, and I end up just sitting there amazed that this all exists as a puzzle. And knowing every single piece does not make up a whole picture but instead every piece is whole story in itself. I bow to whoever came up with this puzzle idea. And if there happens to be a burning with opening invitation, count me in. But whatever happens, my pain is now a puzzle piece, and if it ever turns into ashes, it will still be art. Thank you for taking it from me.

Maria Kamouyiaros

I'm gonna be honest, I haven't read a full patreon post of yours in a while. I'm tired. It just so happened this landed in my inbox as I was waiting for a 9pm coffee to keep me going on my drive home. They had a big order so I had to wait. So I read. Serendipitous. I'm nodding along to every paragraph, not because this is exactly what life has been for me, but I get it. I see it. This community, from the comments above, gets it. No intermission but it's nice to be reminded of the small moments, the views, the art that's a 5 minute break. I'm moving to London away from the roots I set down in the last 6 years (leaving partner and cat behind) for a job at the Natural history museum. If this crazy life lands you in the neighbourhood come visit, we'll drink in Camden. Bring Ash, we'll look at Dinosaurs.

Anthea Peck

Definitely look into Cash or Trade as a platform to fight scalpers!

Nicholas

Aye, steady as she goes, AFP! We'll be here. Love and best from the UK, as always. Nx And, so glad to hear your Dad is recovering! Get well soon both of ya. Also, Ash is so Puck.

Ingrid Nordbø

I feel you on the whole "calming down and slowing down the speed" thing. The whole family have had covid twice now, the first time before the vaccine was available, and we still feel the consequences profoundly, though I'm immensely grateful that we all pulled through. It's hard wanting to do more than the body and mind is actually able to handle. It's hard to allow myself the time it takes to get better. It's a constant battle against the urge to beat myself up over not doing enought, not at home, not at work, not with friends... Your words give me new perspective, helps my thoughts into new patterns. You've inspired me to ask, and recieve, which can be so hard too. I hope you get more good days than hard ones in the coming month. I'm grateful for all you write and share with us. Thank you.

Sandra Marek

I’m so heartened but all the support swirling around. Everyone helping one another and the net being so secure. It makes me believe that the world isn’t falling apart and biting out of control. Or at least in the middle of the dumpster fire, there’s hope for everything not sucking. I cannot express for excited my kiddo and I are to see the Dresden Dolls when you go on tour. She in in line for biggest fan and I love it so much. She is such a little spitfire and is dying to meet other kindred spirits (she’s 7). Watching her light up, is one of my favorite things on this planet. Thank you Amanda, and the staff and the friends/family for being here and being this community. I’m so glad to be part of it. 💜

Jennifer Berndt

The plane metaphor reminds me of Tegan and Sara: It's a silly time to learn to swim When you start to drown It's a silly time to learn to swim On the way down

Julie

Dear Amanda, I'm glad you're still riding the surfboard. The waves of life are never what we expect. I'm sorry you and your dad went through COVID and i hope each day you both feel a little stronger and less tired, although I found my COVID-related fatigue lasted nearly two months. I am also glad you are giving Ash a wide birth to adjust to all the newness; change is hard for all of us and can be especially challenging for children. (something I experienced firsthand with my oldest). I am spending the last week of august in gratitude for my health, and getting excited for a new project I will launch soon and plan to ask your help with. It's a creative endeavor aimed at some significant culture change that is urgently needed to protect the mental health of US-based kids, and i would be grateful for your support (and the support of anyone else here who would like to join). Wishing you a peaceful day!

Viktoria Nikolova

Aaaaah... Slowing down. Thank you for sharing this, makes me feel less lonely right now. It seems like the world really unfurled after the Pandemic. So much overflowing from the outside. The burden of all happening on the inside and outside is crushing. I really, absolutely 100% I agree that the thing needed most in this situation are the right people. This is also such a natural process. We balance between being one and being all, looking for the right chaos somehow to make balance. I wish you faster recovery and calmness.

Tamara

Hi Amanda, Cheers from this side of the pandemic. I caught COVID about a month before you did and I've found that there really isn't such a thing as "multitasking" possible anymore. One thing at a time is as much a necessity of the way my brain is recovering as it is a way of life. I guard my rest like a dragon clutch!

Damian Masterson

I didn’t know he had gotten moved to Ellenville. Where we are in Kerhonkson is about 10 minutes from there. I pass by that overlook where you took that picture with your dad just about everyday. Isn’t it just some of the prettiest Earth there is? The parks are all closed at the moment as they try to get a wildfire in the preserve under control up in the hills you see from the hospital parking lot. We could very much use some rain. Glad you’re both on the mend.

Tony Ivanova

Hello, Amanda. May you be able to drop your sholders and take a deep breath for as long as you need it. Thank you for sharing Anthonys advice on surrounding yourself with a people that are good for you. Thank you for being. Love you. Tony.

Jake Marcus

Suffering from burn out here. Living under my overworked rock I only today learned of the “quiet quitting” kerfuffle. Such a perfect illustration of how and why we burn out. I won’t descend into the sturm and drang going on but I knew immediately that 1) working only for the time you are paid is correct and 2) my inability to set those boundaries is too deeply carved into my personal work behavior that I will never take that stand. But as I worked for hours and hours yesterday an email appeared on my phone with a sale price and before I knew it I had booked a trip to Cuba. March 2023 which is a lifetime away but with a U.S. passport it is so hard to go there but I fucking am going. And then I booked a ticket for Guatemala for February of 2023 - where I have land and another life. And in a sec I will hit send on the “vacation request” form to my boss who I refer to as el jefe pendejo. So you will never get objection from me when you slow down. Never.

Mel Legget

I'd like to get that Dresden Dolls Woodstock poster!!! merch request!? Nov 10 11 12 looks so good!! I can see it from the outside, for us all: ideally, we rest well, 7 hours, 8 hours, then wake and churn till we drop down again, but rest well. better to rest well. good luck with everything, and not everything at once, but bits . . . #TimerTime - an hour . . . 4 minutes . . . 20 minutes . . . on the clock/off the clock - ahem, one day at a time ... only so much we can do and continue to head in the direction we want to go and get closer all the while! Compass! Glad you have on the necklace! Ash is growing!!!! looks so different already from NZ. blessings, patreon community in support of Amanda, in community for music and art and motherhood and fellowship, and the nice people! :D xo

Mel Legget
>>90721988

p.s. been off twitter and fb ' can't be on the frontline at the moment! Happy best wishes Aug 31, moving to Sept 1 overnight, and year-end falls out . . . . . . . . no intermission! ;)

Maryan Newbury

I want to come to Woodstock for the cathartic burning yes please!

Robyn Pearson

I am so with you on the people I'm keeping company with. Being away from people for so long made me truly realize who I missed and especially who I didn't!

Quinn

I'd love to write something profound or at least useful to you here but... I'm trying to speed up from 1mph and my brain keeps stalling at any attempt at a gear change, so thinking in sentences exhausts me. I'm glad you exist. I wish there was a way you could just feel what I want to say.

Lynn Parlett

Good morning from Tassie, the spring sun is here, the creek is flowing through my back yard and all in all, life is good. My shop is still running although its been a slow couple of months and every year at this time I wonder... will the busy times come back? Running a weird ass, niche market, pagan bookstore during these 'times' has been fun. I'm tired. I turned 65 this year and I haven't really had a holiday since I was 60. But I'm blessed to still have my business. Tassie continues to shine, this year we finally enjoyed Dark Mofo, Midwinter Fest and MONA FOMA is coming. Woodford is back on in full (god I wish I could hit the road and bask in all the Woodfordness). Art and artists are coming alive again. It is good. Take care dear one - Tassie out.

lil

amazing! dear one, your reflections abound, confront and inspire hope. that Cave. Ash. You. un/salted bread and the dancing curtain - who's performance I enjoyed throughout. love love love. whatever you do, you got this because You are and You will. love you. and I must say, we need to be getting some of that Widow Jane whiskey- and Taste NY! xxx

Briana Cavanaugh

I love you. You do so so much! So much more than I think you realize. I'm often totally stunned by how much is happening in your world. Today I did a grief ritual with my friend Starhawk, had a call with a dietician, managed my currently crippling chronic pain, and read your entire newsletter. Drew a little bit, learning new flower types in my current art adventure. And aside from dinner and maybe a little tv I plan to help my niece buy her costume for our halloween adventure. And that is an absolutely brimming full day. So much love to you dear one.

Dolly

IN REGARDS TO BURNING OUR THINGS........ I think it should be turned into a music video for, Thing About Things.

Julie Sweetin

I can very much relate to what you said in the video at the top of this post. As someone who slowly became sick and then disabled with CFS/ME over the course of 10 years, the fatigue, the interruptions to daily life...just became daily life. I've learned over the years how to slow down. I was FORCED to learn how to slow down. And in a way, it has been a blessing as much as a curse. Slowing down has forced me to take deeper looks at my life, what I want in life, what people I surround myself with. My ethics and compassion for others has grown stronger, but also my compassion for myself has too, because I now recognise more fully the importance of taking time to set foundations for myself so that I may function, period. That "food in the fridge" metaphor you described is a perfect explanation of it. A lot of my time these days is spent waiting, resting, and setting myself up for success in the future, as best I can, with the knowledge and expectation that anything can change my plans at any given moment (whether its because of my chronic illness, or because an outside source like a death in the family, or a world-wide pandemic). I think it's really important to give yourself the time to step back from overwhelmnation and build yourself a plan/schedule that allows forgiveness and adaptation, instead of beating yourself up for not getting to those things sooner or whatever. I hope my comment makes sense, it's a big vague, lol Thank you for always having such an open dialogue about everything.

Alexandria Stuart

Breathe in. Breathe out. Tomorrow morning is the oral defence for my masters thesis. It's the culmination of two years (and fifty) of work. I'm full on freaking the fuck out. And frightened by what comes next. The quiet. I'm afraid of what's lurking in the quiet. Breathe in. Breathe out. Thank you for bringing you. And be well.

Len Tower Jr.

a have the burning be part of the patron gathering d.dolls weekend in Nov? love, Len

Robert Williams

Thank you. ‘Things’ are hurting. This has helped, again.

EmVT

In the land of metaphorical synchronicity/solidarity: nearly lost a new plant in my garden and couldn't figure out why, since I'd been giving it plenty of water. Finally tried a very slow drip = plant now happy, lush, and thriving. I guess there's a reason IVs are on a slow drip. Somewhere I heard the saying "you can't make a plant grow faster by burning it with sun or drowning it with water." C'est vrai, n'est-ce pas. I feel so dumb, the poor plant was nearly deceased before I figured it out. Questions: if you are taking Jack to California, and Brian is also in California, will there maybe be Amanda and Brian together in California hypothetically playing War Pigs and rehearsing swan dives? did Jack watch any of the O+ webcast yet, and if so, what was his favorite part so far? what was the best thing you listened to [Edited. when you had] covid? how are you? :)

amandapalmer
>>90714854

oh sofia. i’m sorry about your mom. i wish i could transfer a hug from this house over to you. i’ll do my best. here. ((()))

amandapalmer
>>90715910

i may take you up on that if you’re serious about the transcribing !! and always - i love you. and i’d love the poem live.

amandapalmer
>>90715996

oh my LORD. what a beautiful goddamn comment. i feel so near to all of it. and my story is so very different from yours but … i just love all that you wrote and how you wrote it. keep on keeping on heart sister. we will ramble together. xxx

amandapalmer
>>90720190

ahhhh!!! i know your hood now!!! it is time for the dolls to do a residency in ellenville. they will kill us.

Sofia Lopes
>>90714854

I'm sending my warmest hug right back to you. You, in all your softness and openness, have been a huge source of comfort for me over these trying times. ((()))

Bethany Olson
>>90715910

A million years ago I did medical transcription while in college so I can always rev that skill back up to 11 and help as well.

Suzanne

My work projects still have projects. But they are winding down. And our annual return to corporate for what I lovingly call the "Dysfunctional family reunion" of our team of regional techs starts on my birthday, October 3. I've made it clear that as far as I'm concerned our company is throwing a week-long birthday party and paying for all my colleagues to attend. I'm about to celebrate my 5 year anniversary, I'm amazing at my job, I'm allowed to think this (my boss sent me a message of Kudos from the regional leadership people aka the end users who pay my salary today). Also, I've put in for time off for the concert and can't wait to pick up Angel and ROAD TRIP to Woodstock! I'm super excited. 🥰 I let boss man know I am going to be OFF THE GRID for work that week. We'll be fully moved into the new house by this weekend. I'm gradually personalizing it. It's exciting. I'm so happy about all the space here... I didn't realize just how much we'd moved because there's so much more room. And it's ours. I didn't know how much of a difference that would make until it happened. Love to you Amanda. Keep taking it slow. It's a great speed. Can't wait to see you in November. xx -Suzanne

amandapalmer
>>90736904

i’m pretty sure jack caught most of the webcast from the hospital. i’ve had the same marlene dietrich album on repeat here at home. i’m so, so tired. i always adore your comments. soon i hope.

Damian Masterson
>>90720190

There’s a community theater in town I haven’t been to yet. They’re currently doing Almost Heaven: Songs of John Denver. I can think of no better follow up for their schedule.

Anne Stott

Happy to hear you are letting yourself really rest and be quiet. Healing is work. I have given myself some real downtime (and inspiration time) over the last few weeks and the insight and clarity that are surfacing are invaluable. Would not have happened if I’d just pushed myself forward against my own needs. AND I would be way down with a ritual burning of all the things. I doubt I sent anything in 2018, but I have a stack of journals that need to go that could be great fire starters.

Jenna Bruner

1. Take care of you 2. Take care of Ash And when you get to a point where you can breath, please make an EP (or album) titled "Love letters to the gentle ones". Maybe acoustic, maybe just uke, and all from the heart. We will wait patiently for you and we will ALL listen to your lyrical beauty with passionate hearts and quiet minds. We love you and support you Amanda F~ing Palmer 💜

Bethany Olson
>>90715996

Holy fuck. AFP just complimented *my* writing? What kind of Motley Crue behind the music bullshit is this? When exactly did the universe flip itself mirror-ways and how can I stay here please where one of my favorite writers ever just made me realize that maybe it’s time to listen to my loved ones who’ve been telling me to go back to writing. Maybe I have some next level new shit to say? It’s probably that ketamine therapy I’ve been on, but I’ll take what I can get. Seriously you just made my year.

Shane Maxwell

I've only gotten through the first five minutes of the video (I have a work meeting; I will come back to it), but I love hearing you talk about planning for things to not go according to plan. Dealing with things not ever going according to plan has been a real struggle for me, ESPECIALLY over the last couple years, and I really feel like this is a life skill we should be teaching our children. At first, my reaction was something like, "Well, f-ck it. I just won't plan". But, turns out, that also doesn't work. So I have to make a plan knowing that it absolutely will not work out that way. It is a skill, and I am getting better, but it can be very exhausting.

Daniel Allen

Community. I have thoughts about that word. And it's meaning. But it's late, and I'm tired. I just got home from work and I have to sleep now so that I can go back to work tomorrow. That happens sometimes. But it often feels that this happens a lot. That I have things to say but can't. Because of a lack of time or energy, or just will. The grind is constant. But it crushes away the inessentials. I have to take care that it doesn't grind any deeper.

Gudrun
>>90728225

You will do it! It always helps me to imagine how I will feel and be afterwards. Take a hug from a Math Prof in Germany

Shane Maxwell
>>90750677

Update: Omg. What you said about needing to lay the groundwork for help before you can accept help... This is my life right now. I am going through a massive process of 1) acknowledging and accepting my own limitations, 2) admitting that I need help, and then, 3) figuring out how to ask for help. I have realised quite stunningly that I do not know how to ask for help. At all. It must be done correctly. And I think, as you say, not having space in my metaphorical fridge has perhaps been why it has not gone well when I have asked for help in the past. I have not properly done those first two things that I listed. As always, thank you for your thoughts and words, and for your vulnerability. Love from Finland.

Els Van Haute

I want to come and swim (naked) with you. I hope that once you open my mail it will make you happy, because you make me feel happy, make me feel less alone. And thanks for the poem, thanks for bringing us more than we expect each time, thanks!

Willinwoods

Thank you, Amanda! Once again, so many soothing and comforting words. I have to say the writing of Dorothy Parker reminded me strongly of one of the great, but tragically short lived, writers here in Sweden: Karin Boye. Both the rhythm and the theme was very much along the same paths. The day before yesterday, I was a complete wreck; I was crying loudly and violently for hours, and couldn't come to rest even in the arms of my sweet dear lover (three years and counting). It was like having severe back pain, but in the soul. Today I wish I could send you a hug... you're doing great, keep taking care! Love

Joanna Lindblad

So glad to hear that you and your father are feeling better :) Maybe not back to normal, but healing. The area where you live looks incredibly beautiful. Actually looks a lot like where I live (WI, US). Your hikes made me wonder, have you ever been “geocaching”? It’s a sort of hike/treasure hunt. There are probably some close. Bet your son would love it too! Lots of love!! <3

Allison McKnight

I also had to slow it down after my surgery. I'm up and about now, but cannot do yoga for another couple of weeks. Going from every day to nothing is... frustrating. Went in for my post-op appointment and my doctor showed me a picture of my now ex-fibroid. It had gotten bigger than my uterus since the MRI *or* the MRI did not show the full scope of it. Either way, having a tumor hanging off the outside of your uterus that is bigger than your uterus is a really unpleasant sensation, turns out. Eight years of chronic pain, theoretically over. Anyway, she gave me a picture of the fibroid just before removal and I am utterly enthralled by it. I keep pulling it up and staring at the beast. It's been hard for me to stop working while I heal. I'm supposed to be editing my book. I'm supposed to be reviewing other people's books and interviewing them and asking insightful questions. I'm supposed to be continuing to interview+onboard+train+manage+etc a team of OnlyFans chatters pretending to be a porn star. That content doesn't sell itself. But, instead, I've been sleeping thirteen-plus hours a day and watching YouTube. Alas. Maybe next week. I wish I could come up for The Great Burning of 2022. I'd chuck those records into the pyre like frisbees and cackle maniacally for the dramatics of it all.

Christine Webb

Be kind to yourself. And rest. The stuff will happen later when your body is ready. <3

DebbieG

Glad your dad is better and headed home. Glad you are Covid-negative. Take your time and heal as you need to. I feel very lucky that my case was so mild, the worst part was the weird lightheadedness/dizzy spell I had on one of the last days. But no fatigue. Wish I could come for the DD shows, but I'm still a bit leery about travel, plus the decision on whether to buy this old building I live in keeps tapping me on the shoulder. I can't keep ignoring it. And it means figuring out if I have the funds. So most travel is on the back burner. I did zip off to visit friends in Canada and missed the O+ show, so I need to catch up on that. Rest, heal, take care of Ash. We are always here. 💕

Llaura Sanacore Rubin

I grew up, first 9 years of my life, in Upstate New York (Greenville!). I miss it sometimes, but it's been 50 years, so. Now I'm in North Jersey. Recently Diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I won't know exactly how Cancery until after my surgery on the 20th. Good Times. Plus I have Pneumonia and Kidney Stones. First Things First, Yes. At least I don't have COVID, even though I work in a Petri Dish (ER). I was at your last concert in the States before Covid and New Zealand, in NYC. I also was treated to the Dresden Dolls at Coney Island before that, and your show at Le Poisson Rouge (sp?) with your Dad in 2016 I think it was? Now I don't feel like going anywhere. But I do. Love and Hono Pono. ♥♥♥

Tem Noon

A lot of my last two years have a lot of Mom/Dad/Covid. And getting fired, which was the key to solving all my problems. Dad passed in October 2020 at 89. He did get Covid, recovered from it, but was weak, and had been unable to schedule a heart valve replacement because it was 2020 and hospitals... My parents were the happiest couple I have ever met. I am now 62 years old, and I do not remember even a single argument between them. They were married when Mom was 19, and Dad was 26. He always says it was the smartest decision of his life. The were very different, but if he was going to be 10 minutes late, he would call. Mom had never lived alone. A granddaughter managed to get a year's contract working remotely doing CAD design, and did it from Mom's house on Long Island. Her sister took over, but she worked overnight nursing shifts, and was planning on moving out in a couple of months in any case. After an episode that had my brother jumping in his car and driving 3+ hours from Newton MA to Mom's house, we all realized something else had to be done. This is where being fired helped. I only live 90 minutes from Long Island (just south of I-84 on a little road right on the Taconic) so I started staying with Mom during the week, and going home to my partner on the weekends. I've given her back the peace of mind she used to have when my Dad was here, paying attention to the house infrastructure, I do most of the cooking (Mom never liked to cook) and watch Call the Midwife with her ... or nature shows, because the puppy (Oh yeah, she got a puppy about a year ago, which helped a lot!) watches, and barks at any dog, or cat, and especially the Chimpanzees! Mom and I, like Mom and Dad (not so much Dad and me, but that's a whole different comedy routine) have always gotten along great. Mom is busy. Way busier than me ... but is easily confused by a schedule that includes MaJong on Wednesday, Yoga at 10am several days a week, lunch with her friends, National Council of Jewish Women, Sisterhood, Temple Choir rehearsals, ... and in May she became a Great Grandmother for the first time. Then we met the Great Grandbaby at the wedding of her youngest granddaughter, ... and lots of people got Covid, in the middle of July, including Mom and Me ... so for the big finish, 2 weeks not going out, and Instacart. Luckily, neither of us had bad symptoms, and by August we were both feeling fine. It's wonderful spending more time with Mom, and I have a very understanding partner who supports me. We read your book "The Art of Asking" to each other in Bed over the period of a month or so, a couple of years ago now, before pandemic ... I also tweeted back and forth to you while you were at Omega, I played Tabla in the kirtan at Omega for 4 years, on Thursdays. I was asked this year when they finally started again, but I'm with Mom during the week. I have a ticket to the show at the Colony (where I've played, with the "Clear Light Ensemble" ... great little venue) and hope to give you and Brian blank notebooks of my own design. Very much looking forward to it!

Jonah Poirot

I didn't listen to the video, but I read. I am glad that team AFP gets to be humans. I'm glad they can take it slow and be human. And i liked the poem. Love u guys. Times call for exceeding gentleness and surrender, Lately

Rebecca Ryan
>>90845122

P.s yes would love to see your plants! lol. I studied horticulture for 2 years a long while back. Doesn’t mean I’m good at it! I adore them and trees Hahah.XX

Parker
>>90747950

For sure “Love letter to the gentle ones” needs to be used as a title. Doesn’t matter what form of thing…but it needs to be released out into the universe

Coila

:( I commented. Told you I love you and what's going on. Quoted an old Shakira song... Patreon ate it...

Nicholas Potter

Thanks for taking time to write and your inspirational description of the beautiful nooks and crannies surrounding Woodstock. Perfect and joyful reading to accompany a sunrise with coffee.♥️

Lynn Robinson

So beautiful. This was like meditating 🧘🏼 xxx

Sean Dennison

I am dry and hard and still giving everything away and not knowing how to ask for or accept anything. This is not new but now I know it and I see the consequences but I can’t figure out how to change. Yet.

Raven

Really enjoyed this video and update. And thank you for reading some Dorothy Parker to us. Will be seeing if I can acquire a copy of that book now. :)

Ashley wheeler

It always humors me to think back when I was a teen and the people and crowds I put myself in. Who you surround yourself with really does impact your quality of life and peace! I just joined your Patreon last month but have been a fan for over 10 years. I am THRILLED for you and myself to hear you’ll be writing and recording new stuff soon. Keep surrounding yourself with gentle loving people and maybe you’ll get a tiny intermission soon. Thank you for being an artist who I can look up to and for creating music that truly brings peace and soothing to my heart and soul. Sending love from Oregon.

Ria

Oh I love you dearly

Rebecca Ryan

Hope Dad is ok A. And getting him settled…takes time. Im doing the same with my dad right now. Today. Home thank goodness. He’s 76. He’s my hero and always on my side 😌 and gets me xx

Coila

Amanda, you said, almost flippantly (but not) that this community seems to have weeded out the assholes. I'm sure the community helped but mostly you did that. Your music calls out to the gentle people. From Bittersweet, by Susan Cain, (which I'm reading because of you): ...conversely, high-empathy people are more likely than others to enjoy sad music. "Depression deepens our natural empathy," observes Tufts University psychiatry professor Nassir Ghaemi, "and produces someone for whom the inescapable web of interdependence...is a personal reality, not a fanciful wish."

amandapalmer
>>90830518

this is a beautiful post....thank you so much for taking the time to write it, tem. i kind of fired myself, and it was a good decision. sometimes you just gotta do the things. xx

EmVT

"I have an essay/piece in me that with your cheerleading, I will write on the plane home. Send me some cheer." GO AMANDA, DO THE THING! 🎉🎉🎉 💃💃💃 For every word you write, an angel gets their wings! Imagining you breathing, and writing, breathing and writing. You got this! :)

Janet in Georgia

WOOO WRITE YOUR PIECE!!! Go Amanda!! *attempts a cartwheel and falls on the dog*

Amanda Eckert

your “steady as she goes” is really hitting home for me because I’ve been feeling kinda lost out at sea for the past few months, for a variety of reasons. while it doesn’t really relate much to your post, I wrote this poem and am compelled to share it here, simply because I need someone else in the world to read it, and I trust you enough to be exposed/look uncool in front of you. Holding you in my aching arms Keeping in the clumsy words That would only get in the way As these regrets stream down my face Escaping through cracks Left scattered from past battles Trailing thousands of unspoken miseries Burning down my cheeks Unnoticed by you My broken mind wretchedly Grasping at the many falling skies As you sigh contentedly And roll away, oblivious ❤️

Aimee Maher

What a beautiful piece of honesty. You know, I'm going to be a you g 50 next year, and I've noticed a shift. It's not so much that I'm always tired, I'm am just easily tired out by the wrong things for me. The shift is the softening of my energy and needing an energy to match. I'm not the 20 year old that went to bed at 4am anymore. I'm the 49 year old that maniacally raised two kids and sent them off to college and now calmly wakes at 4am. And that's beautiful. The only constant is change, I hear, and I'd rather be constantly changing until the day I die than static. Love 😘

Nancy McKenzie

Sitting here sending you virtual hugs in the virtual web of life. Life grabs you by the shins and smacks you against the wall when you least expect it. You're blessed that all are still alive and moving forward. It's good to have gentle, supportive people in your life. Hard edges fray. Rounded edges become smoother, softer. Recover well, queen.

lil

Go Amanda! And enjoy the flight home xXx

Serena Rosevear

Hi Amanda. I need to tell you that I've been dreading the release of Buttercup. I've tried a couple of times to bring your attention to my concern about the whole Tasmanian functional literacy thing, but understand you have been dealing with a lot. Maybe you'll hear me this time. It's just that the regular repetition of what is actually misleading data, when taken out of context, is damaging to the people of my home state. Hannah Gadsby and Miriam Margoyles have both spread the same 'vox pop' in recent months, I'm sure without understanding the full facts, so I'm hoping you will seek to understand it better before you start talking about the story behind Buttercup. If you look into the data from which the facts behind this stat comes you'll find that yes, Tasmania does rate slightly lower than most of the rest of Australia. BUT Tasmania's score is actually higher than about 2/3 of all of the countries tested, and that includes the USA!

Serena Rosevear
>>90950992

I should have added ... I really appreciate the sentiment contained in Buttercup. I was there in the Princess Theatre when you first performed it. I'm not asking you to not release it, just that you explore my concerns over the data so that maybe you'll talk about it in a way that does not perpetuate this damaging stereotyping of Tasmanians as illiterate people. If you would like, I can point you in the direction of the data.

Janet in Georgia
>>90944690

I’ll be a very young 45 next year and I feel the same way!! I turn into a pumpkin by 11:30pm and wake up before the alarm even goes off. Only thing is yes I’ve sent off 2 that are in their 20s but I still have a 10-almost 11 year old at home!! My body feels the aging but my mind is that of a 20something year old. 😊

Kerrie Chapman

Thanks for the share. I resonate with ur words about the “gentle people”. I am one of those. A Melbourne nurse u met at the ice baths at the intersection of Everything Changing. I got LC in May 2020 (from nursing) and have lost my footing…. If i feed my dogs and clean my teeth with my heart rate below 130bpm the day has been a success. I have lost my nursing career of 31 yrs in a shortage of nurses that wants new and shiny rather than to support those who gave their lives to nurse. Anyway…. I have lost my purpose/reason to exist… so if u need a Melbourne AFP team member who can type transcripts and learn new stuff hit me up. I have no strings left to grasp. ps. Recover at 2kph. Go slow. It hits those who push too hard (the mail can wait). Much love 💜

bluefoxx

I really love the videos you make for us. I'm in my 40s and moved to the country from Austin right before Christmas. I moved in with my parents because my mom is getting older and needs help and they have chickens and cows and horses and dogs. My plan is to find a place that can be my own but near them. It is quiet out here and we are surrounded by tall trees. I taught myself to grow watermelon and harvest them and then make fresh-pressed watermelon juice. We deliver eggs to our neighbors down the road. At night it is very dark without the city lights. The owls make eerie calls that let you know you are not alone. A creepy comfort. A creature comfort. Things are gentle out here and I understand what you are saying about the gentle people. It is calm out here and no rush and no expectations except respect. I am excited for your tour and send you heartfelt wishes of comfort and relaxation and love before you start your next adventure. You will be amazing, because that is what you do. You amaze. The Amazing Amanda. That's you ❤️

Francine Hibiscus

THANK YOU DAMIAN ❤️❤️❤️❤️ the gentle people are where it's at. I am not a "nice" person. What I am (so I am told!) is *kind*. I strive for kindness, and it's a fucking challenge sometimes. I am worn down to the metal, and I get by by reaching out. We only have each other! ❤️❤️❤️

Amy Tobol

You have my clock! I have your clock! The Chime Clock! TING! I love how the curtains breathed with you, that was mesmerizing. Do it again!

EmVT
>>90950992

hi Serena, I am interested in the data, and just read the lyrics on bandcamp--I liked this song but never really paid attention to the lyrics before. thanks for more information!

EmVT
>>90953837

Kerrie, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your career, and about your LC. Thank you for your service as a nurse, and thanks for talking about LC. I think everyone is anxious to forget covid happened, and it's important to keep talking about it. Sending you strength, I hope it eventually gets better perhaps over the years.

Serena Rosevear
>>90950992

Thanks for your interest EmVT. It's been a few years since I've delved into the data, but if you're interested to learn more look at the PIAAC survey, which is conducted by the OECD. Sorry if I'm explaining something you already know, but I'll give some context on the specific element of the lyrics this relates to. The reference to the girl not being able to read a sign relates to an often reported, misleading headline, stating that 50% of Tasmanian's are functionally illiterate. This fact IS supported by the data that the headline originated from, but it fails to convey that this is only a few percent below the average of the whole of Australia and is actually better than most of the countries surveyed, including USA, UK, Germany.... Tasmania has long been the poor cousin/punching bag of Australia so this headline, which is regularly given airtime by people who accept it without knowing how this compares to other populations, perpetuates the harm. The other important reference in this part of the lyrics is that the sign is nailed to a tree. This refers to the Proclamation Boards, which were a type of pictogram nailed to trees around lutrawita(Tasmania) by the Colonial invading forces in a naive attempt to communicate martial law to the First People who, by that stage, had already been almost exterminated. They are considered Australia's first piece of propaganda. Amanda's use of these references is clever and poignant and I understand how and why she hooked into these ideas when immersed in the process she initiated. As an artist who makes site responsive works I also understand how challenging it is to find stories of place and then work out what I have permission to share within my work. This work was researched, written and performed within a few days on the ground, in the context of a festival. I know from what Amanda said prior to that first performance that the literacy thing was passed on to her during a casual conversation in a cafe, by someone who is normally a champion for Tasmania. She did not know the name of the boards, so I assume she had not had much opportunity to research them either. The song is incredible. I just hope that the narrative that accompanies it can be managed so as not to give international air to misleading and damaging misinformation when the people it refers to have been trodden upon for too long already. I first tried to express this to Amanda directly after that first performance over two years ago and have tried again since. It's possibly too late now, but I thought I'd try one last time.

Coila

Thank you, Damian!! Also, thank you, Amanda, for recommending Bittersweet. It's exactly the next step I needed to take in my "spiritual journey"/ mid life crisis.

EmVT
>>90950992

Serena, thanks for the explanation--in the album notes on Bandcamp it says the song was "for launceston" which I gather is a town in Tasmania--any idea what the significance of Launceston is? The song is harrowing, if I had to guess sounds like it's about the abuses of colonialization? edit: I guess I'm wondering if the song actually does take place at the time of colonialization (historical) so that of course the girl wouldn't be able to read the signs of an invading foreign force--maybe it's not a reference to current day literacy, that would be my question. That said, of course I can see how it could be a sore spot, but I'd be inclined to think any narrative around the story would be about the brutality of historical colonialization, not a statement about whatever the current literacy rate is.

Serena Rosevear
>>90950992

Hi EmVT. Launceston is the city in lutruwita/Tasmania where the song was written. As part of the MONA FOMA festival Amanda sat in a shed in a park for a couple of days and invited people to go and make confessions to her. What actually happened though was lots of people shared their trauma, so that became the subject of the song, which she wrote and performed within a couple of days. During the festival performance Amanda shared how she was told about the illiteracy stat by the event organiser. There was a poignant moment during the show where the chorus lyrics of Beds are Burning were displayed written large on a bedsheet (a recording was made for a bushfire fundraiser, but our version was not the one used) and someone in the audience pointed out that only half of us would be able to read it. It took a while for Amanda to catch on but she soon joined in with the laughter from the audience. So the stories of trauma are definitely contemporary while the sign is a colonial reference. The genius of the lyrics is how the two are melded together through the theme of literacy.

erica munhoz

Amanda dear, I'm still in the middle of the video, and haven't read the post, but I paused just to comment this one thing. You're asking youserself how you're gonna marry the gogo boots and the lunch box, the night people and the gentle people. The first answer that comes to my mind is: you. You ARE the marriage of these two. You ARE exactly this. So I'd say... remember this is already in you, trust your guts, and find the glittery lunch box people, the gogo gently night riders, like you. they're out there, and you create this atmosphere, so it'll be alright, I'm sure. P.S - "dont you just want to make love to Dorothy Parker all night long?" hell yes. SO EXCITED for new Dolls songs!!!!! And here goes the eternal wish: come to Brazil <3 (no rush, one day, Dolls tour... maybe... love you)

Lindsay Rickman

That is a beautiful picture of you and your father. What you wrote about choosing friends and community, making peace with lunch boxes AND go-go....go-go boots, please include that in your next book. I believe it's a question that a lot of us ask ourselves throughout all time, how to be good parents who create safe social boundaries for our children, AND artists pushing social boundaries

Coila

Are you still reading these? Hello, Amanda. I love you. I had an amazing EMDR session today. It felt so trivial at the time, but it got things going emotionally/memories wise, as those sessions can... I have a lot of things I'm thinking about. My brother has, measurably more and worse traumas than I do. I know you're not supposed to compare like that but truly, he does. He had night terrors and nightmares for weeks after he started EMDR. I was terrified to start, but my therapist has been so gentle and loving with me. It hasn't been bad at all and I feel my life shifting in ways I've needed it to for years. My mom told me to hurry up and be ready to reconnect or she will never want to again... but I can't apologize for nor speed up this process. I'm working through some heavy shit and trying to figure out where she and I fit in all that's left as the dust settles. I adore her. I admire her. I think our souls may have been connected before we met here on Earth (if such a thing can/does happen and I think maybe it does/can). But I need to be able to protect myself and my family from her (usually rare) emotionally destructive outbursts. They happen and I want to have a Plan for how to handle them when they do. Maybe I'm staying in my cocoon too long... but I don't feel done yet. The most important thing I'm learning here is how to be here for myself, too. Which sounds cheesy AF but has been so helpful. My relationships with my husband and child are so much stronger and better now and this is part of it... Anyway... All of this to give you an update because I know you love stories. And I love you.