And…we made it to second grade. (Patreon)

My loves.

Because it feels like a milestone; an Ash-centric post.

First day of second grade. He made it.

So many people from so many places have loved and helped this kid. And so many people have helped me - sometimes against extraordinary odds and in painfully difficult circumstances - to be a patient and unshakable mother.

Especially over the last few years of parenting, I have had to learn dizzying levels forgiveness and submission to circumstance. I have had to learn to let go of so many things.

But I’ve only been able to do that with the help of wunder-allies - mostly other parents, but, mind you, not always - who hold my hand tightly through the dark and make sure I do not feel alone on this mad roller coaster.

To all my village-friends who have supported me along the way so that I can support this kid: I bow to you and weep. That you for helping me DO this. Right down to my owl-insomnia friends last night who offered calming last-minute songs and bedtime stories…and emergency rain boots.

And I am also so proud of the whole wider village - here in the states and in Aotearoa - that has gathered loving arms around us, protected us, nurtured us, fed us, taught us, and made this world feel like a safer, less scary place to be.

This patreon has been no small part of it.

The world has often had a hard time understanding my relationship with the internet. I have felt - even when with my closest friends - that nobody quite understands the safety I feel among the “strangers” here; but it is precisely because because you aren’t strangers.

I love that you’ve come to love and accept me as a mother, as well as an artist.

Because of your support, financially, emotionally, energetically….I’ve been able to be both.

I am really proud of this kid and who he is becoming.

He wants to be an inventor or a scientist depending on the day you ask him. (Yes; I’ve told him that there’s a huge venn diagram between the two.)

I feel so much love and gratitude for all the other parents out there, and am especially grateful to the ones who have shared their stories and advice here with me over the years. I really read the comments, and have for 20+ years of internetting. You’ve all shaped and taught and helped me more than you know.

Parents: you deserve the support and sleep and coffee and chocolate and cry-sessions and offers of help you need.…you deserve all the love you required to get the job done, and the job will never get done perfectly. Take the help when it comes.

May you all find that support - that loving, calm, nourishing, and unconditional support - in spades. And reminder: you’ll probably find it in the most unexpected places.

Ash Palmer Gaiman, may you rock the second grade. We all love you. ♥️

xxx

-Very tired mother.