a moment of morning gratitude. (Patreon)

greetings from DC my loves

it’s wedding day and ash is still asleep in this little hotel room.

a dopey random selfie because i woke up this morning feeling so incredibly filled with joy, and because i am so grateful for all of you and rarely say it directly.

i don’t take you - my readers, my listeners, my supporters, my whole little online family - for granted. it is extraordinary, this little ebbing and flowing collection of people on the internet.

you all save me. you pull the poetry out of me. not because you applaud me, but because you come back to me with your own head-nodding stories.

you connect me to myself. you help me feel alive and not alone. you help me navigate the world and understand how it works.

i read the comments. i wonder and worry about all of us. i see - in the whole digital tapestry of words and images - the human story.

i also see the dark side of the internet, and have for 20 years. the depths of ache are darker than you can imagine. there are handfuls of people who don’t speak to me because of the internet. there are people who say i have saved their lives because of things i put on the internet. i watched - on the internet - as people in my community here took their own lives. lost babies. got married. left families. found families. i try to be the family that i know many of you need.

the internet is the medium. and i am just a crowdfunded writer and musician.

and here we are. let’s see what we can do for one another.

the internet has become such a complicated thing, such a dark light place for so many people. to quote phoebe bridgers: a haunted house with a picket fence.

i just want to remind you that you simply being here with me - and each other - matters. a lot. if you weren’t here, i could not be a self-published artist. i would be working for some huge company, trying to make a living in some other way. i’d be having lots of meetings with lots of people about what i should and should not write here. i have never wanted that.

you people keep the lights on. thank you for being the lights in the dark.

i love and cherish you so much.

thank you for being my patrons.

sometimes it’s nice to just say it.

xx

afp