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Hello my loves.

Happy springing.

I'm checkin' in, and flash-announcing a yoga/movement/meditation afternoon workshop on May 4th (in Woodstock, see way below) with me, Coco, and Manta.

..........


Greetings from Bearsville, NY, where I float along in deeply confused ecstasy as usual.

How are you all ... really doing? 

How's the change of seasons feeling, how's the post-Covid vibe in your town, country, how's the inner weather?

It's been a while since I asked. 

I'd like to know.

I'll start.

I posted this little reflection on FaceBorg the other day, after my littel ramble about the chronogram piece (which I posted to the patreon, and FB):

“Are you okay?”

“Your posts seem very dark, are you in danger?”

“Have you been tested for Autism? You seem to often be saying that you’re overwhelmed, and…”

A sampling of comments after my post yesterday

I am now tempted to write a longer piece about this and make that piece my patreon offering for the month.

But of course, I’m overwhelmed; I may not write it, so allow me to just take 7 minutes and summarize what I imagine the takeaway would be:

Yes, I am okay.

And yes, I am overwhelmed.

And from the perch where I am sitting, this is not that odd.

Almost every parent of young children I have met since returning to America appears - to me - to be pretty overwhelmed.

I cannot speak for all. But I can speak for a handful of parents I know right now.

We parents - scared and confused ourselves - just carried our scared and confused kids through Covid-times while many of our childless counterparts dealt with the very different plagues of boredom and isolation.

We have all suffered with different flavors of overwhelm.

Or as my friend Jack once succinctly put it in 2021: we are all eating our own individual bowls of shit.

I currently know a half dozen people from both camps (with and without children) on the edge of mental health breakdowns so fierce they wonder if they should be hospitalized.

I do not remember things being like this three years ago, before Covid.

I’m also going through a divorce. I’m also going through culture shock having come back from New Zealand after three years accidentally abroad.

And I am also an Artist of the Feels: I am a memoirist who has spent the better part of the last 25 years talking about how I am really doing, and have never sugarcoated my struggles.

But as the Backstreet Boys once sagely said: I want it that way.

I have found strength, for decades, in being honest about what I feel and what I perceive going on around me in the Zeitgeist.

Yes - I am definitely having my own moments of reckoning. And I am a particular demographic: Self-employed white American mother of a seven-year-old living in Upstate New York.

But if I am reporting from the emotional front on behalf of the hundreds of thousands of people who trust me with their feelings and comments and information, I can assure you:

People - especially parents - are feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.

If you are feeling overwhelmed in the face of everything that is happening on the planet, in America, with gun violence, with the climate crisis, the global slide towards facism, with the algorithms taking over the public forum, and with the seemingly endless poetry of mundane and catastrophic moments of This Modern Life:

You are not alone.

I am with you, and so are a lot of other people.

So if people come to you - as they come to me - with worried brow or helpful diagnoses when you express your overwhelm in the face of all of the above, just tell them what I will tell them:

Feeling overwhelmed seems like a pretty reasonable feeling nowadays.

If you’re not overwhelmed, maybe you’re not paying attention.

I love you all.

Can I get an amen??

-Written after a quick phone-scroll on the third floor of the Museum of Science, Boston, gazing at the giant Van Der Graff generator while Ash experiments with lying on a bed of nails several feet away.

....

I'll take the Amen over here, Hallelujah.

And really...tell me how you are.

.....

Meanwhile....

I've been with family for the past couple days, in my old hometown, and posting little snippets of life and piano to IG lately, and now I'm home and trying to just hunker and prevail as I juggle the next four days: I have to rehearse my two-hour solo set for Tacoma (and Poughkeepsie, and Boston), finish writing new songs, work on the new covers about which I am extremely passionate, get the house in order, pack for tour, try to figure out what I'm ding with my life for the next five years, and of course, try to Thing Something. Possibly riffing on the....

10th ANNIVERSARY OF MY TED TALK

I feel a piece of writing coming on, I'm brimming with disconnected mental wires, and I'm pondering using those wires to thread together a piece about "The Art of Asking: 10 Years Later" to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of my TED talk, which is about to hit 20 million views across TED.com and YouTube. (WTFuck!?)

I delivered this talk almost exactly 10 years ago to the month; I'm about to return to TED for the first time in six years, and I have some new hot takes and reflections to share. If you've never seen it, it's only 13 minutes, and it still makes me cry a little when I watch it.

But oh, I feel like the girl on the box on that stage was a little naive. I love her, still.

But oh.

Certainly worth a revisit at the moment, given everything going on.


https://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking

If you feel like it, I'd love to hear a little about your own reflections on the TED talk - whether you saw it live, saw it 10 years ago, or just watched it today. Maybe a few thoughts on what you might want to know from insider my head ten years on, what other questions you may have...any thoughts...any reflections. Asking in a Post-Covid world. Asking Part Deux. I'll fold them into the piece if and when I write it....talka to me.

.....


AND:

ANNOUNCING a 

AFTERNOON-LONG MOVEMENT WORKSHOP in WOODSTOCK with Me, Coco, and Manta!

I am going to keep this invite to patrons and local friends only, just because it's so small, but that doesn't mean you can't share it with others. 

May 4th, 2023

Noon -4pm

$80

Limited to 20 people, so grab a spot... literally right now.

LOCATION: Very short walking distance from the central village in Woodstock, NY (which is accessible by bus from New York City via Kingston NY).

The number of spaces is very limited and will go fast. We'll be accepting reservations here, starting NOW:

https://bodywaytogo.weebly.com/

At the link above, you can also read more about who the facilitators are and what they do and stuff....

Ages 18+, no experience necessary. Wear comfy clothes, bring your own mat if you can, but we may not need it.

It'll be me (I'll lead a meditation and practice with the group), my wonderful friend (known to many of you), Shintaido Instructor David "Manta" Franklin, and my other wonderful friend, choreographer Coco Karol.  a day of gentle body movement, fun, easy and healthy exercise for all kinds of bodies, insight, contemplation and connection -- including, but not limited to, Shintaido and MUNZ Floor Work (which is a little like long, slow yin yoga, you just kinda lie on the floor and do slow spiral stretches...it's delicious). 

After you make a reservation, we'll send you a payment link (PayPal or other debit/credit cards). After we receive your payment, your registration is confirmed and we'll send you the location and other practical details.

Greatly looking forward to seeing, moving, and contemplating with you.

Amanda (and Coco, and Manta)

......


More soon.

Reading comments.


x

A


TOUR SEASON IS UPON US!!!!!!!!!!

***AFP SOLO***

Saturday, April 15th - Tacoma, WA - The Temple Theatre

Wednesday, April 19th - Vancouver, CA - Vogue Theatre NinjaTED - BENEFIT FOR GREATER VANCOUVER FOOD BANK

Friday, April 28th - Poughkeepsie, NY - Bardavon *ALMOST SOLD OUT*

Saturday, April 29th - Boston, MA - The Wilbur Theater *ALMOST SOLD OUT*

***THE DRESDEN DOLLS***

May 19th, 20th, & 21st - Denver, CO - Ophelia's Electric Soapbox *SOLD OUT*

May 26th, 27th, & 28th - Santa Fe, NM - Meow Wolf *SOLD OUT*

June 16th, 17th, & 18th - Orlando, FL - The Social *SOLD OUT*

June 23rd, 24th, & 25th - New Orleans, LA - Toulouse Theatre *SOLD OUT*


All tickets at: https://amandapalmer.net/events/



———THE STUFF I PASTE AT THE END OF THE POST———

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 200 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. are you new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

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Comments

Helena Wolfram

I wish I could go! My birthday is 6 days after. Wishing you and everyone all the love 💜

Sahrami

Im not doing so good. i was diagnosed with paranoid psychosis 3 weeks ago and was hospitalized, the meds have not kicked in an am feeling a bit hopeless and frustrated. Wish i could join your workshop xx

Pamela Kirsch

Oh man. To be honest I’m struggling a lot. It’s a month when a really violent assault happened to me and my drinking has become out of control. I decided today that I need to become sober. Scary stuff but I know it’s the right move. Love to you and thanks for asking I def needed to spill!

Raven

Strongly debated driving the 4.5 hours from northern vermont but I will wait for another time after my life settles a bit more! I would love the opportunity to do yoga and contemplating with you. 🖤💫

Jeremy Sliwoski

I was broke and unemployed and feeling pretty down when the "super secret Ted Talk run through" was announced in Cambridge. The girlfriend was like "you must go" and basically pushed me out the door to drive down. I got there a sweaty mess (no AC in that car at the time) and was one of the last ones through the door but got to enjoy that presentation. Odd highlight moment right there.

Scorpio Amber

In answer to the how are you really question, rough. One of my best friends lost her first baby in childbirth last week. I don't know how to support her. All the advice I find is to wait and let her come to us like a scared cat. But I want to act. I want to ask her to tell me about her baby, about the brief moments together, about the 9 months of growth. I don't want her to feel alone or ignored or like someone to be pitied and avoided for fear of saying the wrong thing.

D. Franklin

Helena, stay tuned! It's looking like this movement workshop collaboration may be turning into a 2-3 times-per-yearish kind of thing (though right now there are no specific plans for a next one).

Michel

Funny you should ask. First day back at work after getting my ass handed to me by covid 2 weeks ago. Managed to avoid it for 3 years but alas... Burnout last year, so crawling back up yet again. It's been a hell of a decade. Accidents, broken bones, jobs going bankrupt, lawsuits from neighbours, I keep saying, january 2020 I thought things are looking up, life might finally settle down again for a bit. Very funny, 2020...

Karen Krebser

I'm childless but I've been my elder brother's legal guardian since 2021 (and in charge of his affairs since July 2020). So, caregiver, but that's not the same as parent, I know. I'm actually researching burnout right now to see if it's a real thing and what to do about it/how to recover from it because I haven't showered or washed my hair in two weeks, I sleep in my day clothes because I can't deal with changing into my jammies, and I consider the day a win if I get all my meds in. I have a full-time job but I'm able to work from home, so I'm grateful for that blessing. And I share my home with my octogenarian parents, so I'm lucky to not be alone. I don't know how to frame what's been happening since, say, 2017, or how to manage the shifts more productively than i am at present. You know how it happens when your brain just goes completely blank and you have to fight for the words or the image or the thought or idea? That's what's going on for me. xo Karen

Brody

No “post-COVID” here. It’s still present and a danger. Long COVID is an issue for a lot of people. We are still masking in public and not eating in restaurants, as we haven’t gotten Covid and don’t want to. It’s not worth rolling the dice on my health for the rest of my life. So, yeah it’s isolating when most everyone is treating it as no big deal and “back to normal”.

Raven

and as far as I am doing I am excited for the future. Been thru some darkness but feeling a light somewhere off in the distance. Got accepted to sell my art and pins in a local farmers market and excited to make connections with my community

Alex Pugh

I was definitely having some feels this morning after dropping my girls at school. Fortunately about all the positivity and growth of the last year and a half. January 2022 was my lowest point of ever (divorce and betrayal and yada yada) when my favorite human (who I very much believe shares soul DNA with you) came to the rescue and saved me and my mental and emotional health. I've been at my absolute best and highest self since mid 2022 and I have her to thank, so I left a rather incoherent and sob filled voicemail with her this morning. Anyway. She's my all time favorite human I don't share DNA with and you're my all time favorite human that I haven't actually met (yet) and y'all are the most kindred spirits and I love you both. The Ride really is better with someone to clutch you. 💚

Kristin Ryan

I am...taking things one day at a time. April-August is when my PTSD and depression flares (CSA happened in spring and summer). I had to increase a medication I restarted earlier this month that helps severe PTSD nightmares (I was hitting and kicking in my sleep) and it's exhausting. I had my first flashback of the season at work, with over an hour left in my shift. It was unexpected and even though I was able to ground myself quickly, my body continued to spiral. I paced like a caged animal, each rotation getting quicker. I kept telling myself I would be okay, that I survived the ones before, and I would again. It's just exhausting. Dealing with PTSD. Trying to breathe deeply each day, to not focus. Bees and wasps and other bugs are saying hello, and each memory I have from childhood involves bugs (therapist once said it's because children can't comprehend what's happening so hands and fingers are replaced with bugs and roaches etc). But, I wrote my first poem with magnets on the fridge since June 2021 before the two week hospitalization and Electroconvulsive Therapy. I am slowly coming back to myself. It's just hard and exhausting, but I'm not letting go of her hand.

Francine Hibiscus

Don't ignore her. Go to see her and ask what she needs, which might be a hug, or a cuppa, or someone to scream with. I am sure you know enough to avoid any kind of "better place" or "deity's will" stuff unless you are led there. Much love to you, it's so hard to watch your loved ones suffer.

Laura Payne

I am struggling. My car was stolen last Friday night and I’m busy about to start my extension in an animal hospital. My HOA/House Tax payment is too high for me, and luckily, I was able to reach out to a very good friend, who sent me a little bit of money for food. This is a very difficult time for many, many reasons. I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are others who are struggling, and I say to them: don’t give up. Please never give up. I refuse to give up even when I’m down. I’m down, but I am never out. I love you all and I love you, Ms. Palmer & Ash. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹😅

Stacy Litwin

I'm childless, I always thought parenthood might be too much for me and these last few years have just made it worse yet it seems every single day I'm plagued by indecision between what I should do. I'm just now crawling out of the depression over been dealing with over the last few years but not anywhere closer to knowing what I want from my life

Julie Steele

I’m still recovering from my 3rd shoulder surgery but I just got cleared my doctors that I can travel and see you in Tacoma with my cousin. First real post Covid vacation. We all need one. We all need our own little bright spot to hang onto and feel happy about. 💜

Francine Hibiscus

How am I doing? Well, this Thursday I turn 60 and I am VERY EXCITED. Next Tuesday is the last day of tax season and I am ECSTATIC. On other fronts, same old. Which of my parents is going to die first? How are we going to deal with my dad's dementia on top of his other health issues? Will my mom be able to keep her weight over 100 lbs or will her gut issues win? Can I control my mental disintegration and stay on this plateau or is it just a slippery slope? Bummed that I can't come floop with Coco! I am incredibly stiff and would love to try her movement stuff. HAVE ALL THE FUN!!

Scorpio Amber

The biggest hurdle is distance, we're 4 hours drive apart. But I so so appreciate the love, support, and advice. Every bit helps.

Sydney Shepherd

Honestly, this week im ok. My therapist is trying to get me to be more positive about even my effort of little things. Covid is not as much of a concern as strep is right now in my city. I know many people who have a nasty cold if they don't have either of the other two things. I keep mostly masked up so I have avoided getting sick for about 2 yrs now. This year is definitely a focus on self care since I turned 34 back in January. I do monthly facials and massages that are affordable. But the summer gives me anxiety due to very large events that will be shutting down large portions of the city especially close to where I live.

Stephanie Rowe

Some days I wish I lived closer to upstate New York. A movement workshop sounds amazing. If you guys ever want to do this on the beach, I will happily host. I am a parent of older children (19 & 13) and covid absolutely disrupted their worlds in strange and unexpected ways. Both seem to be a bit more isolated now and I hate it for them. They feel like new butterflies that are emerging from cocoons and I just keep hoping their wings will unfurl properly and they will fly. Time will tell. Looking forward to NOLA at the end of June. Overwhelm is totally a thing around here. Trying to move from overwhelm to acceptance and grace with myself and surroundings.

Rebecca Wright

I've been trying to find the words for this for a while, and this seems like the right place. That TED talk started me on a journey that directly saved my life this February. I grew up being taught that it was not ok to ask for help, and that if I did, I was obliged to pay for it in ways I didn't consent to, and wouldn't know what the payment was until much later. That TED talk started me on the journey of thinking, no, I can and should ask for help, and got me started practicing it. It meant that this February, on my birthday, I asked my doctor if they thought I needed to go to the ER, because I knew I did, but I knew I was talking myself out of it, and I needed the push. I asked a friend for help getting to the ER, because I was too sick to do it myself. I had $20 in my bank account, I live in the US, and I was terrified about the cost of all of it, but I told myself I can ask for help. And when I got there, I found out I was so sick I likely wouldn't have woken up the next morning. They saved my life in the moment. But you and that TED talk started me down the road. So thank you. It matters, what you put into the world. I get to keep waking up, and be an aunt in a few months. Best birthday gift I could have gotten.

EmVT

hi Raven, fyi I am driving down from Shelburne, Vermont if you ever want to carpool. I'm not on FB, you can message me on the Shadowbox forum if you want to connect for future reference.

Hayley Rosenblum

That screen cap of your TED talk is actually a perfect little snippet - because the photograph behind you was taken by Todd Owyoung, a photographer I met through working on curating the photos with you. He took those photos of the Dresden Dolls in St. Louis, which happened to be the very same theater you played on the TWBNI tour. Todd is one of my favorite photographers, it was through his website and online articles that I helped develop confidence to take the plunge into concert photography myself. I was recently thinking about how going through thousands of photographs in your archive to pick the photos for this talk, was like a master class in helping to develop and shape my eye, knowing a good photograph not just by its composition, but by the story it told and the emotion it emitted. That it could be technically flawed, but still capture the ephemeral moment in a gut punching way. I think about this often. How proud I am to have contributed to this special moment in your career, how it helped shape me in so many ways, in my work with you and in my own artistic vision. I think a lot about the closing line you had in your talk, to paraphrase, "It's not how you make people pay for your music, it's how you LET THEM" - because that has steered my philosophy in the last 10+ years in trying to explain the gift of opening the door to connection that so many artists need some push or gentle guidance towards. I could write my own TED talk about how monumental your TED talk was to me, and to our artistic community. I know how hard you worked on it, and I'm so proud of how it all came together, and how it's continuing to inspire people every day.

Raven

Oh awesome! Yes I need to get back on the forum and check it out again.

Debz michaela

I’ve been not been doing too great lately. My mind is my nemesis a lot of the time. I feel lost and unseen by those who claim to love me. I’m struggling with my own expectations and my own flaws, and exploring this in counselling now which is deeply uncomfortable but important. First time I’ve actually watched the video of the TED and so glad I did now. I know I need to ask but I’m also rubbish at receiving too, again I feel uncomfortable. Argh!!! In brighter news though I’ve managed to get a last minute ticket to see Gary Numan on Saturday- my favourite kind of escapism!!!

Kristin Scalisi (GoddessOfCarbs)

I am at the MOS all the time with my niece and nephew, so I pre-apologize if I ever see you there and get way too excited. They adore the Theater of Electricity!

Yana

I've written a 10minute presentation, from the last 10years, and am now inviting people to see, hear and feel my words. It's taking my vulnerability to a whole new level, and I'm ok with that. I send healing hugs to my fellow humans, "the problem" is not you 💚.

Hev

Can't believe it's 10 years since the ted talk. Can't believe I'm 35. I am also overwhelmed and haven't got it in me to say more. I would like to hug everyone and cry a bit.

Michele Peters

The sun is out and I am all for it. Also, I dreamt of you last week. It went something like this (from my rough/unedited journal entry): 4/7/2023 "Last night I dreamt about Amanda Palmer. I was fortunate to attend one of her patron/tribal/lighthouse gatherings in Woodstock, NY. (Keep in mind, I have never been there.) We were in small groups at a lovely, artsy, eclectic shop she took us to. Think herbal teas, original paintings, stones, incense, bells and sound drums, all good vibes. The group I was wandering with, some soul sisters per say, moved to another room to sit in the lovely chairs they provided and were approached by the sales person. This sales person was a little “extra” in the dream. They went a little off kilter and we found it a little too much, my small group, so we got up and moved to another room without saying much. It was a very rude, to be honest. Amanda saw it and made a point to head to that sales person to make sure that she knew she was loved. Amanda looked at us and we instantly knew we should have done better. She was disappointed but still loved us and wanted to show us a better way. She made that person smile, bought a homemade caramel from her and ate it all while looking at us, her people/her children. She showed love and we learned." Thanks for being such a good teacher, AFP! ♥

Rachel ~ Witch Weave

I’m struggling. My physical health issues are quite overwhelming. I’m glad warmth is coming so I can do things outside with people I love. I wear my mask indoors everywhere except my apartment - not conducive to get-together or shared meals- so the warm times are something I’ve been looking forward to very much. Wish I could make this event (but cannot), the workshop sounds really appealing and I’ve wanted to meet Coco since you first began mentioning her - she seems incredible.

D. Franklin

Stephanie, I can't speak for MUNZ FLOOR, but Shintaido on the beach is definitely a thing. Partly an accident of history - besides originating in Japan, the first spurt of growth of Shintaido in the U.S. happened in the 1970s in the Bay Area. Lots of Shintaido on the beach photos out there (a few taken by yours truly in New Hampshire and on Cape Cod)

amandapalmer

what francine said. just check in often and ask for nothing. offer to visit and hold space. when you get there, do any dishes that have not been done.

D. Franklin

Beautiful ideas beautifully written, Hayley. And having been both in front of lens of your camera and behind the lens of my own with Amanda and Brian et. al. in front, I just say "I second the motion," whatever motion that is :-)

Karin White

I loathe this photo of me but it works for my job and filtered through from google I guess. lol. How am I? I always say fine because we all know most do not want to know really, right? But I could be worse. I found an amazing therapist in Dec who has been a ginormous help. I'm finding alpha stim therapy to be super crazy helpful. I am learning not to worry in advance and let the universe guide me and support me and amazing synchronicities are happening. Being in the moment as much as possible rather than looking at the big giant horrid picture that is the world seems key to my mental clarity and peace. I know I can only control my own reaction to things and my immediate surroundings (sometimes)...this goes a long way to help me feel less overwhelmed. I so feel for you with a young child right now...my youngest is 17 and she has been rolling with the punches a lot, thank goodness. I have been through divorce too....it was one of the most difficult things I have ever been through but know that you will get to the other side of it. Knowing that during any battle....and it is a battle...can help strengthen you. So many people love you. Breathe, breathe, breathe and keep swimming you lovely human you.

Fanny von B

Amen and hallelujah! Everything feels very much in the edge right now, like sonic the hedgehog when he balances on one foot, just shy of falling. Everything feels so precarious, the environmental crisis, the cost of living, government dictatorship of bodies, surviving. Sending love, KOKO ❤️🙌❤️

Laura Wellner

I'm fine and unfine at the same time. Struggling, but not really struggling. It's weird being on this teeter-totter. I just got hit with a $6,000's worth of truck repairs, it's officially an old truck. I'm glad we have savings, but it was earmarked for a new roof...so much for the roof. It's fine. I'm fine. Really. I'll rebuild the savings, whatever. Now that Spring has sprung, I'm working in my garden, which is my go-to for all that ails me when the art part of my life is having some quiet time in between projects. I'm overwhelmed by outside influences, the news, the world, and the lingering anxiety from last year when I retired from my day job because the toxic workplace environment made me sick. (One year later, I never gained back the 20 lbs I lost when my metabolism went off the rails from chronic stress. I'm only 114 lbs, I haven't tipped the scales that low since I was in my early 20's. It's very strange to feel so fragile, yet stronger after going through that hell.) There are days I want to scream my eyeballs out - full out, primal scream - but that doesn't solve shit, it just makes me exhausted (and my eyeballs are grateful, the cats are grateful, and I'm sure the neighbors don't want to hear it...) Instead of screaming, I treat myself well. Why not? I'm going back out to the garden to go play in the dirt. I'll listen to the birds, the wind, and soak up the sunshine. I'll go hug my wee donkey too! Sending you big hugs!

Maryan Newbury

Hi! I never answer your "how are you" question so I will now: overwhelmed and I have another post-pandemic philosophy about that which you may not have thought of -- I was not bored during the NYC isolation of the pandemic. I acquired many new practices and commitments (foster cats, painting, deeeeeepest dive into tarot I had yet made, regular writing group and singing weekly, etc... All in my apartment) and now I'm still not leaving the apartment because I have too many projects. Luxury problem, maybe. Still stressed!! Prioritization eludes me. How to eliminate these things I love? As you say, people (especially those who want me to go out and do things - and I do want to) come at me with solutions and criticism (kindly). Because I complain, yes I do, about overwhelm. So! It's ok. This too shall pass, as mother used to say. In other news, I'll be at Omega while you are there! I will seek you out for sure. ♥️

Aqualynne Carnahan

I am knee-deep in virtually training LPNs to work with our patients (and they are all amazing). Preparing to move 12 hours away NEXT WEEK WEDNESDAY (OMG. A full day of traveling with 2 cats and a small trailer from the Deep South to the Midwest.) And then need to be ready to start a new class the following Monday. Overwhelmed doesn't adequately cover it. On a thin tether in a whirlwind. But still tethered. And when it is over, I will be with my daughter and grandchildren again. I will get more in person hugs, and laughs and love. Then we are all moving in August to a house I am absolutely in love with. When the whirlwind passes and the dust settles, I will feel at home again. Something I haven't felt in years. So much change but it will all be worth it. That is the point to me. Surviving is what we do until we are able to thrive again. Both, and all states in-between, are just part of living.

DebbieG

I am how I am, a bit stressed, a bit happy, a bit sad. Lost another friend last week; she had non-cancerous brain tumors for over 20 years and was a fighter until about a year ago when I think she gave up; her body was deteriorating slowly and she was losing her independence. So another funeral, I have had so many over the past few years. I am childless and siblingless, so I wonder what will happy to me when it's my turn, who will plan my funeral. But some happy things too: a fun road trip with good friends to a concert, which meant live music to dance to and love. I don't move enough, I would love to attend that day with you and Coco and Manza if I was nearby. To you, and everyone here, sending karma and hugs. Enjoy every sandwich, as Warren Zevon said. 🌷❤️

Damian Masterson

In an odd place. We had a stillbirth last June, and started trying again a while back. At 41, it was taking us a lot longer than any of our previous attempts, but we found out yesterday that we’ve caught again. This is pregnancy number 7, going for live baby number 3, and we’re having such a weird muffled detachment about it so far. Having lost pregnancies well after 20 weeks, it’s weird to think that it will probably be September before we really feel like we’re having a baby. That’s if we even make it that far.

Laura Keenados

I gotta admit... it's going rough. My kitty, ninja, is 20. His time is coming soon, I can feel it. It's hard to stay patient and compassionate sometimes, especially when he comes to bed with wet paws from his water dish that he can't see well anymore, so he dips his paws to test the water depth. I know that in a few weeks, I'm gonna wish his wet paws were sloppily patting me for cuddles, and all I'll be able to say is "so it goes..."

Min

It rained yesterday for the first time in months and months. A real downpour, rain we've needed and I've missed. So I took my dogs out and everyone got muddy and ran circles in the yard. I watched, I played, I laughed. I cried. Because that pure joy in the moment is so fleeting and rare. Hard to keep hold of, but I was able to feel it and recognize it in the moment. I've been better at that lately than ever before. So much I feel I missed because I couldn't feel it in the moment for various reasons.....Then I found out someone close to people I love died... so how am I, deeply, truly? Well... it's just a ride, I suppose.

Erika Blumberg

I’m still struggling with trigeminal neuralgia. I’m sad that I haven’t been able to sing or conduct right now (I started a community chorus in Woodstock, but I had to stop). Your event sounds wonderful but I can’t go, I teach in the afternoons. I would still love to meet though - maybe I can stop by when I’m done teaching and just give you a hug?

angela b

I feel all this. I have been overwhelmed with teenagers, not younguns, but it's all the same shit sandwich, different bread. I also have been encouraged to get tested for ADHD. I decided that I'm not going to medicate myself to fit into a dysfunctional world so instead I'll do all my witchy remedies and create a new world instead. Movement and meditation is on that witchy list so if I was in your neck of the woods, I would sign up for this. Healing and splitting open and healing again is all part of the ride. Glad we're all here for each other. Loving you all. ❤️

Becca Lee

I don’t really know anyone who isn’t going through some version of this. My partner and I are both self employed, raising two kids in America. We’re still recovering from the deep loneliness of lockdown, and trying hard to fight off the daily sense of apocalyptic dread. Bills gotta be paid, kids gotta feel loved and secure, relationships need attention and care. It’s a lot. ❤️

Josie Wall

My friend lost her baby too. We message every day- I ask how she is feeling, healing, sleeping, eating. I have cried over photos of her daughter, over her tiny handprints and the gifts they brought her. When I was able to visit, we took hugs, and easy to eat foods, and chocolate and I cleaned the bathroom and my other friend washed up. We are going to buy flowers for the garden. We are going to the funeral. It's the hardest thing I have ever ever done, but not being there, not talking about it would be worse. I hope you can be there for your friend a bit too, even if it's hard to start. Honestly, I had no idea that such a tiny baby, who never got to take a breath could leave such a chasm in my heart, but I've been utterly heartbroken for her and of course her parents, but I don’t think that's a bad thing. I think grief is part of love.

Kayla

Thank you for sharing as always Amanda you couldn't have said it better, sending tons of love your way❤

Scorpio Amber

Thank you for sharing ❤️ another of our friends and I are checking in with her every day, just little notes and photos of the spring in our different places. We made a video of the day the birth happened, documenting what the world was like. I'm planning to send cards every few weeks and hope to visit soon.

Jo VanEvery

I’m doing okay. Often wonder why I’m so tired and trying to listen and respect my needs around that. Currently on holiday in Amsterdam with my partner, our adult kid and their friend. Art, food, dinner with friends.. all good.

Josie Wall

I'm really really struggling. Honestly have no idea how people have children, I keep looking at my life and wondering how I would fit in another responsibility. I turned 33 at the weekend, and I have friends who are parents and friends trying to be parents and I'm just relieved I don't want to be because I can't work out how it's possible. I've got dyspraxia so maybe it's just my extreme executive disfunction? I'm trying to work out how to finish my PhD thesis corrections before the deadline on 31st July. I'm trying to figure out how to start them. I have 2 part time jobs and the one which should be my dream job isn't working and it's breaking me. I'm sleeping as badly as I did at the beginning of the first lockdown and feeling nauseous all the time again. And I feel like I'm letting down my mom (disabled) and my nana (99 years old), and feel bad that I've just given up totally pn my dad (he hasn't let me see him since 2021 and hasn't called in about a year now) and I'm neglecting most of my friends except the ones with crises going on (grief, cancer, chronic illness etc.). And I feel shit for not having the bandwidth to do more activism, and definitely feel shit for eating crap and not doing good exercise (instead just carrying heavy things at work and breaking myself more). I'm grateful for a place to not be OK.

Gwynne Garfinkle

Post-Covid vibe: I got an email yesterday from the Los Angeles County Dept of Public Health with the startling statistic that over 1 in 4 of people who've ever had Covid have experienced some Long Covid symptoms. Yet most of my friends here are partying like it's 2019. I have chronic health issues and so cannot pretend it's 2019. (A friend of mine in a different city had Covid a few months ago and now has Long Covid. Another friend and her hospitalized mother have Covid now.) It feels like so many people are all too happy to pretend that no one is at risk. I'm tired.

Dianne Pater

I like to think I'm doing okay. I'm trying not to be frustrated with my students, because they feel so checked out, but honestly how fucked is it to be in college right now? I don't blame them for feeling directionless. But I have to keep trying. Enjoying our HV weather but readying myself for the summer that will follow. it's gonna be a hot one. seedlings growing for my new natural dye garden where I'm teaching an art class as a biologist. I guess I'm just giving them space to make art. I can't teach that. But I'll see you in Poughkeepsie and again at the workshop the next week where I hope Manta does the Five Cosmic Breaths because that was intense. Love you.

Robin McFadden

I've just sent out the last of the Mendelevian Oracle decks to my Kickstarter supporters and am (a) a little dispirited because it's all over, shipping is hella stressful, and the money is already gone and (b) a little excited because it's a huge, beautiful Thing and I made it my own self and I can finally show people instead of describing what's in my brain while waving my arms around. And I have extras to sell.

Len Tower Jr.

Demand existing & staff willing: two consecutive days, where you can initially only sign up for one day? -Len

Len Tower Jr.

Manta, Coco, Amanda: Manta mentioned above that you might do this 2-3 times a year. If so, demand existing & staff willing: two consecutive days, where you can initially only sign up for one day? -Len

Len Tower Jr.

A, Been over 10 years, since I was at the Loeb seeing your TED audition videoed. Months later, being at a preview of your evolving TED talk. The TED talk remains perfect as is. I be interested in reading what more you have learned about asking since the book. I'm so so, the change of seasons bring on the allergies until late Fall. Varies day to day. Against the background health issues. Covid19 risk assessment continues: Do I wear a mask here. Is the exposure worth it going indoor to see some theatre/etc. Recovering from the Covid19 isolation. Hard enough. Part of the ever changing set of challenges. Love, Len

Lynn Parlett

Hey Josie, just want to let you know it's not your responsibility to do everything for everyone, or fix things that don't want to be fixed. It's okay to look after you and your needs. I love you.

Dahlia

I account for a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the views, but I’ve seen the TED at least 3x. First closer to when it launched, then over the summer and again today. I love the themes of trust, fairness, exchange, and asking not making. P.S. you’re awesome

Lynn Parlett

Good morning dearest ones. I'm okay down here in Tasmania. Just had a visit from my darling daughter. A new roommate has just move in. I'm looking to sell my shop and planning next moves. Turned 66 a few days ago and looking forward to where life takes me.

Mark Gerard

I love the mentality behind the art of asking, It really made me view many things in a different way. I've been trying to get better at it, but unsuccessfully. I've been asking for help with pain management after multiple unsuccessful surgeries, asking friends to include me even though I cant join in, and asking family to be understanding. Most of my time I'm alone and miss the connection with people I used to know. I miss many things that 8yrs of pain has taken from me.. friends, family and the experiences I should have had. But mostly I miss who I used to be. You have helped me so much over the last few years, taught me so much too. The unconditional love you send out to everyone is priceless.. you make me feel not alone, and I love you so much for that. 💕

Kirrabelle Lovell

I’ve felt overwhelmed too the last year or so (mainly around work but also general life) but I don’t really say anything about it. That’s why you’re important Amanda - you do! I think your TED talk fitted the time it was 10 years ago and I’d love to hear your thoughts about it now. Everything evolves, it’s excepting it which is sometimes challenging. Movement session sounds great! I’m going back to dance class next week for the first time in a few months and am looking forward to it. I highly recommend adult beginner dance/yoga/pilates/movement classes of any type - jump in and move your body!

Alfredo

Love you (heart emoji) #TeamOverwhelmed

Beth Stein

Shit's weird and a little frightening all over everywhere. Being one of the ones who's brain runs on a slightly different track has made it more than a little overwhelming. Even and speaking of weird brain the formatting here is making me nuts. But, before I sign off in tears because nothing looks right I will say I finally read your book last weekend and enjoyed it mightily. Both my parents were photographers so artist issues are familar and you covered them eloquently. My parents would have enjoyed and appreciated your book.

Christina C.

Earlier I drove (too closely for comfort) past a (not secured enough at all) scene where 4 police officers had their guns drawn on a person of color. Thankfully in borad daylight. Thankfully she was standing. Thankfully she had her hands on her head and was positioned where hundreds of people could watch. Our police in my small town have an 89% higher rate of shooting than most other places of our size. We've been working on forcing body cams and my friend had JUST gone to meet with official to check on that this morning. Normally I'd drive by something like this as common place. It's normal here now even for such a small town. And having lived in bigger more crime filled cities and experiencing direct violence myself in many capacities, I had grown thick skin. I lost that thick skin some time back as I processed a bunch of trauma which immediately led to a bunch of numbness to protect my rawness from what's been going on in the world, it becoming too much these last few years and all. However for some I couldn't handle that one. I actually felt fear for her and I came very close to puking when I got to my destination which is not AT ALL like me, I've seen some awful shit. It's nice to feel things again but it's fucking brutal to be feeling things again when the world is where it's at right now. No regrets though. I will feel all the feels so I can do all the things it takes to help the world around me and also so I/we all can feel all the joys. ❤️

Skyeanna Malito

I am bad. Very, very bad. I feel like everything is crumbling, and I have no idea how to keep it all together. I reach out for help, but there's no one there to help me. It really feels like my little family is all alone in a sinking ship.

Bruce Cooper

Loved it and I believe it’s worth more than one viewing as it explains humanity in its basic form!

VTRADDICT

I am trying to be creative because I know it helps with my mental health, but at the same time finding it hard to get motivated because of my mental health. Yay. A long, long time ago, Amanda, I made you a promise which I didn't fulfil. I would like to try to do so soon, if you're still interested. I have sent you a message through Patreon's messaging service, and I would really appreciate it if you could read it. ❤️

Suzanne

Hi. Saw the post on the socials and missed this here. I'm doing... Better. I am getting help at work because (get this) I asked. So after this week I will hopefully be caught up and less stressed out. Weather is gorgeous this week. I'm okay. And I can't wait to see you soon.

EmVT

amen on the overwhelm, i don't know anyone who isn't feeling like something has to give. then it just never does, and on and on we roll as things continue to fall off the sides of the apple cart. it is almost two years since the first time I saw your TED talk, and i've listened to it many more times, and just watched it again. reflecting back, my first thought when it originally came up at the top of my 'Amanda Palmer' search was 'ah, ok'--because someone in the comments of your interview with Lucy Lawless (where I first encountered you) said something like 'Amanda Palmer is unrecognizable' and I could see how much your appearance had changed. the two things that stood out my first time watching it were, I was impressed with your insight about the education you got standing on the box, and secondly, your insight that certain people are going to stop while many others will ignore you. the second point resonated since I was in the middle of figuring out my creative process, and how it intersected with social media. whether people liking my stuff had anything to do with whether it was 'good' or not. I was also impressed that you spent so much time holding still on top of a box, that you could pull that off from an endurance standpoint! :) My only question about the TED talk 10 years on is, have the internet tools that allow the exchange become more sophisticated than they were when you gave the talk? If so, how? If not, what is still missing? ❤️

Josie Wall

Thanks, I'm not really even doing OK at looking after me at the moment. Hopefully I just have to ride the wave for a while.i love you.

Len Tower Jr.

Good question! Both Amanda's body language and bone structure are much the same (evolved (matured?) a smidgen). Sometimes we concentrate too much on changes to skin, hair, etc. I noticed the art of her fine brush applied eyebrows. It was one of her simpler versions. (She said why she let them grow out again, online six or so year ago.) -Len

EmVT

hi Len! yes the things I noticed on the thumbnail of the TED video were superficial, Amanda's makeup and hair (hi Amanda, I know you're reading this too :) ). I love what you said, Amanda, about keeping your appearance kind of a moving target (I believe in your interview with Tanya Pearson), which makes me think of your theatre background too. also, in the LL video, Amanda was in full Grownup mode as the presenter and orchestrator of the video. maybe because I was probably watching in my carhartts and ball cap :) TED Amanda seemed slightly more relatable, even though I'm a few years older than her. in the Aotearoa video you seemed like exactly the same person, with even more life experience than TED Amanda. point being, I could see why the YouTube commenter might say 'Amanda is unrecognizable'.

Maria M.

Once again, I am struck by the question: "How are you really?" Lately i've been getting more frustrated at receiving the questioen in it's ever so common empty form. Even tho I've been avoiding really answering it to my self, I know that the usual "I'm good" isn't right. I know it because I almost get angry every time I am put in a situation where it feels like the only correct answer. Still, I feel unjustified in saying that I'm not that good. It's been consistently getting better, lately. I'm probably also more ignorant then overwealmed these days. Maybe for once taking the chance and answering this question, or at least trying to, will help me to dare put myself in overwealming positions again and get on with the things I've been pushing aside for so long. Thank you for starting, for sharing. Thank you for being there and making me think and do things. All the best <3

Michelle Turner

How am I doing? On Easter, I lost a dear, dear friend. A beautiful person, an artist. Coincidentally, she had a piece of art in *The Virginia Companion*, which I only just learned yesterday while perusing her professional portfolio. She was a true original, as another friend called her "the polar opposite of basic", and her death was sudden, cruel, and after she fought hard to be here in the face of doctors trying to deny her the reality of her body because why would someone in a female body know herself??? I'm angry today on her behalf, because she had access to some of the best care available in the US right now and that care still missed the thing that was not-so-slowly killing her. I'm coming to Camp Amandaland this summer and I'd like to take a few minutes to show you her art in person if I could. I'll share her here, too, but my heart isn't ready yet.

Michelle Turner

PS: I am also a mother of a seven-year-old (and a four year old) living in Upstate NY, and my God it all just feels like too much even here where things are relatiely good. I'm afraid for them daily.

Michael Clark

I find it strange writing to you here. It feels like writing a message in a bottle. If you knew it would be received, would you write something different? I remember someone once saying artists were meant to be “connectors and openers, not untouchable stars.” Well you really nailed the ampersand with that one Amanda. Somehow in so many ways it feels like you’re both. And that is so human and so allowed. Not that it’s always my favorite. Dancing on the outskirts of your community, and doing my own thing and loving your people. Your presence has been so ridiculously connecting and opening. Inwardly with music and words and perspectives and as inspiration, and outwardly with friendships made and deepening, new possibilities percolating. So many stories. Can I tell you some? Will the bottle reach you? Well, I’ll pretend that it will. I did a thing one week ago. At a poetry open mic, I gave a piece and it scared some people into thinking I might be a psycho killer. I felt a bad afterward, but it wasn’t my only feeling. Mostly I felt like I made some awesome fucking art. But I did feel bad. I want people to feel safe. But feelings aren’t always safe. And grief isn’t. They weren’t ready for that art. I’m learning to show up differently depending on the container and being more patient. The weirdo and the trickster inside me want to come out and play, and I can also wait and do my own thing and wait until it’s safe. Because I know that touching people’s pain isn’t always safe. And I wouldn’t want to trigger something truly terrible because of a poem. *** As for the Art of Asking, I’ve talked about it a lot. At open mics. To people in planes who later became at least short-term friends. I remember them anyway. I’ve shown it to family and friends. Do you know who introduced me to you by the way? I’ve written this story, probably to you in some comment or internet message bottle. Gathering on the seashores of Facebook and Twitter and Instagram no doubt. I walked on The Great March for Climate Action. It didn’t work obviously. Climate still fucked. ;-) But afterward, and after lots of life, I felt alive again after a long depression. And I was pondering about my favorite pornstar and realized (what an epiphany to have), “hey they are a real person who makes great stuff. I wonder what they are like?” So I checked out Stoya’s Twitter. She tweeted something. I replied and she laughed. After that, it’s all gravy right? I remember what it was too, more or less. She tweeted: What word hasn’t been usurped, tainted, or destroyed by the patriarchy? To which I relied: The word “Stoya” still looks pretty shiny and clean to me. And she gave me a “Hah!” back. That may or may not have happened before she introduced me to you. But she didn’t know she was doing it, nor did you, such is the weird that is Twitter. She retweeted something about “Spaces in the internet where it’s safe to hate women.” Sounded like a bombshell of an article being recommended by a favorite artist. I clicked. It was about you. It was about “the most hated woman on the internet.” I was so fucking curious. I knew I would love this person. Hated by the internet. By the people who lurk in dark spaces and get together to hate on women. I knew I would love this person. I didn’t even know your name. Just your reputation. It truly does precede you Amanda. So I glance at the article and it’s about “Amanda Palmer.” “Who the fuck is Amanda Palmer?” I think to myself. Never heard of her. How is this person the most hated woman? I scan. Amanda Palmer. Dresden Dolls. Okay, I’d heard of the band. Didn’t have the curiosity to look into your group. Some indy alternative band. No idea where I even heard the name. But it was in there. The woman writing the article had hated you to. But she was writing an apology. How goddamn fucking refreshing. If she was going to hate you properly, she needed to read your book and she only had the audiobook on hand. She listened to you deliver your book. And she softened and melted, like the ice cream you were no longer selling, on a warm day, in the shadow of an eight foot bride. She fell in love a little bit. I did too and I still didn’t have any clue why you were hated or why you were loved. Person wrote a book. That is what I knew. Person is a musician apparently. Author of article pointed out you had a TED. Person has a TED. At last, let us see this person. *………* Holy fuck. She just breathed for like five seconds and looked at people. Celebrities don’t do that. Most people don’t do that. Holy fuck. She’s kicking a milk crate and has some veil and clearly isn’t lacking self-confidence. All the things. The shirt, the beads, the hand wraps, the deep red black brown hair, the eyebrows were probably the most subtle and most signature. You breathed and looked and I fell in love, a lot. As you started to talk I was over the moon. And when you got to “nobody ever sees me, thank you,” I knew that you were my people whether you knew it or not. I was bawling and laughing and overwhelmed. I couldn’t go on. So apparently she’s a musician too? This reputation making human statue makes music. I check YouTube and the first song I see or click is the TRAM Session “Ukulele Anthem.” ding ding ding “…Amanda Palmer with Tram Sessions.” And your voice: “This is my final song ladies and gentlemen, thank you for indulging our experiment.” Your final song. My first. A palindromist’s dream. Wow. I listen. I’m floored. All the things. Yes. I will play my favorite cover song. I love that idea. So I’ve played that, without a ukulele (because I don’t know how to play) many many times. I think it’s hilarious sung a capella, by the way. But another of my favorite cover songs is your TED. I’m memorizing it. If you want a deeply … I have no idea experience… I have a recording of me just reading it on YouTube. It’s real weird. And I hope lovely. But yeah it’s coming along. I’m playing the whole thing. Making art for the slides. Getting the look down. I got some crates and hats and gossamer veil things and no lacking self-confidence so it should be good and weird. And no, I’m not just stalking you. Im also learning Neil’s “The Man Who Forgot Ray Bradbury.” I’ve already got pretty well Saul Williams’ “Children of the Night.” That was first on the list. Why he signed Fox in Socks. I love his “song” so much. I sang “Party Hard” for the first time at Karaoke a week ago too. After the poem. And after some death metal. I want to learn to play it. I’m working on getting better at piano. Work in progress. Anyway. Another strange note in another strange bottle. I hope it finds you well. I hope it isn’t overwhelming. I hope if anything, it smells of the ocean spray and sunlight and seaweed. I hope to see you again on May 4, barring any cataclysm. I hope. Amanda: Did this motherfucker just steal the end of The Shawshank Redemption? Me: you’re goddamn right I did! Another favorite cover song! Hah!* *And that’s another palindrome. Cheers Amanda. So glad you are real. So glad for your community and your art and your support and for all the live you pour out into the world. I think it matters a lot. I feel it. I see it. Thank you. *hands Amanda a flower made out of trash*

LT

TEN years! Wow. Your Ted Talk has meant so much to me over the years. The book and the talk helped me ask and connect with folks when I first came out of the closet and moved to Northern California without knowing anyone. It taught me to trust other’s generosity towards me, and to trust my own generous spirit towards others. I still use that talk as a grounding technique for when someone has hurt my feelings, or I’ve just read about a particularly saddening world event…those moments when the world seems like too mean of a place to want carry on existing in. Thank you for all the things. Thanks for continuing to thing. See you in Tacoma. :-) LT

LT

And how I am doing? I am feeling…hopeful these days. <3

Michelle Turner

This is lovely, and I'm pretty sure Amanda reads everything here that she humanly can, so yes, the bottle will reach her.

Michael Clark

I appreciate you reading my bottlemessage. Glad it reached someone. I think she tries to as well. But sometimes life intervenes, or the gremlins in the internet work their magic. But I hope so. And I wouldn’t have written it if I didn’t enjoy the process, so it’s all good. :- )

Jessica Badousek

I hadn't seen this TED Talk and it left me sobbing. It was like a spotlight into the dark corners of my viscera. The thing I am most desperately searching for. Connection. Real meaningful connection to real human flesh and blood people. Its never been easy for me, and I feel its absence like a person crossing the desert craves water. I find droplets and swallows of it in digital communities. Enough to keep me alive; to leave me desperate for a gulp. I don't know where these thought go from here, only that I needed to release them. To thank you for the feels and the clarity.

Debra Doggett

Overwhelmed is a good word for what I and most of those I know are feeling. Usually when I feel this way though, I can step back, sort of retreat into my own cave. But these days that's not only much harder but feels more selfish.

Gaba Kulka

Amen. This is how I am: I am at a stage of overwhelm where I seem to struggle and despair against it significantly less than before. I know there is only so much I can personally fit into a day, a week, a brain, a heart. But it does come with a big chunk of sadness. It feels like I will never be able to fit back all of the things that I thought were important. It is all already bursting at the seams, and I honestly can't imagine doing anything more that I'm already doing. I realize that letting go of some things helped me keep my sanity. Often it feels trivial, and cliche and predictable. But it's also something I observe with curiousity, like an investigation into my own ways and beliefs. Thank you (and I mean it) for asking.

Gaba Kulka

1. Oh, and please say hello to David from me! I really loved his workshop in Prague and it was such a pleasure bumping into him a number of times after your shows! 2. Here's a stupid thought: "The Art of Asking, the sequel: Thanks For Asking". ;)

Linda

May 4th is my birthday! I will be there in spirit for sure! I'm doing half okay but leaning more on the good half when possible so I don't spiral. And your Ted talk is still a breath of fresh air for the mind and makes me want to art more I still struggle with asking sometimes but I've done it time and time again for my mental health and actually fought for help when no one was listening. I've been in a good place for 5 years in a row and I'm also in therapy and have good support and keep my eyes open for the helpers/help when I am able Much love

D. Franklin

HI! You have said hi to me yourself now,! What you wrote there about feeling overwhelmed resonates with me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. But also "...it's also something I observe with curiosity, like an investigation into my own ways and beliefs." Story: there are examinations in Shintaido, though they hardly resemble examinations in any other discipline, certainly not in the "martial arts" (which are, relative to Shintaido, a mere historical footnote anyway - these "exams" are more like auditions, combining technical competency and expressive capacity). After one exam, during which I thought I had done quite adequately or even well, the exam committee knocked me down a notch during the post-exam feedback session. In 1990 I took a very physically and emotionally challenging Shintaido instructors' exam, and thought I had done terribly. Afterwards, it really felt like a black cloud was floating directly above my head, while everyone else seemed happy and smiley in the California sun (it was during a workshop in Santa Clara). I wrote a letter to the exam committee resigning before even getting the results, sure that in the unlikely event that I were to pass, I would feel like a fake, an imposter, a poser. Turns out I did well. I still have imposter syndrome often, but moral of the story: community helps us, and reflects to help us know if we (as artists) are "producing value," even when we feel all yucky and overwhelmed.

EvilElitest

I live in and grew up in upstate so its weird to see those trees and be like "I know that area"