Missed Me. (Patreon)

Hello loves.

Speaking of screaming. I’m reading and responding to comments here for the next 30 if you want to say hi. (It’s 6:45 pm in NYC).

**Edit, I’m going to bed**

(If you missed yesterday’s post with my new screaming substack post, it’s here.)

Greetings from Bearsville, New York. I’m taking a short nap before rehearsing all night for the Dolls tour. It’s all sounding miraculous, and I’m drowning in the sound in a good way.

Just posted the below to socials, too. I’m working with Liz to put together a huuuge collection of show photos - there were so many photographers and there’s a ton to choose from - from what I am now referring to as “The Covid Birthday!” tour of Boston and Poughkeepsie.

The more I get back to singing, full-throated, balls-out SIIIIIIINNNGGGIIIIINNNGG, the more I realize how much I’ve sort of gradually and inadvertently silenced myself over the past few years. What a strange feeling. To be me, and feel that.

So many things have happened to weirdly bar the doors, draw the blinds; I’ve feel I have had to quietly put the phone down. It’s funny, trying to remember who I was before getting married, before having a kid; who I was before having to shift so many things into a private box, pivoting to make my world a smaller, more squirreled away little joint.

I’ve missed myself.

I’ve missed this woman.

I feel like I haven’t been her for a dozen years.

I didn’t quite identify this spooky feeling until I was playing in this theater in my old hometown, physically remembering who I used to be, what it FELT like to be her, what I was capable of when I would just sit down at a piano to grit my teeth and arms and break the emotional truth to myself … and everybody else willing to go on the ride. This city gave birth to those moments. She and that - we came from here.

So anyway. I am catching up on my post-covid to-do list: A beautiful collection of shots from the sold-out show in Boston @ The Wilbur Theater, April 29, 2023.

It is still not feeling normal.

Nope.

It feels like everything keeps tipping and falling apart. The community keeps lifting me back up onto my feet.

So many thanks for everyone who came and made this homecoming so, so special.

I am coming home to myself. Here. Silent all these years.

I love you all so much.

xx

AFP

Photo by Lisa Aileen Dragani.

many more to come. ♥️