{Patron Only} Meeting Robert Smith, Riotfest Dolls/Cure pix, & a webcast 11:11 this thurs (Patreon)

Hello loves.

Barely alive, so sleepy, so happy.

So dead.

So fucking happy.

SO HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

How are YOU??

First off, THANK YOU all for the gorgeous comments and feedback on the 15th anniversary of "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" post. I read all y'all wrote. Hayley tells a great few stories if you missed it, and to answer your most pressing questions: yes, I would work with Ben again in a second. And yes, we will make more WKAP vinyl someday. :)

AND before ANYTHING else....it's been ages since I did a webchat with the $10+ patrons and I am FINALLY doing one this Thursday (at 11:11am EST, join/RSVP/start asking and chatting here) AND I am going to share some great new patreon chat tools that are in BETA with whoever shows up, so MAKE SURE YOUR PATREON MOBILE APP is downloaded and updated. We are gonna have some funnnn!!!!! If you wanna up your tier and join us, do. It's a blast.

............

So, Riotfest.

I love and hate this part of the job where I need to chronicle my life before it’s too late and while I’m tired, but I know me and if I don’t do it now, I’ll never fucking do it ever.

We killed at Riotfest.

KILLED.

(from Aesthetic Mag Toronto)

(from Forbes Magazine)

My band, it lives. We didn't play any of the new stuff....but it wasn't the time. We hit the classics and we did it with passion.

I got home from Chicago crazy late last night absolutely batshit fried and catatonic and went straight into mom-mode and school-land without even really getting a decent nights sleep or unpacking my tour stuff.

But I feel whole. So whole and happy.

From making birthday pancakes on Saturday morning to a plane to one of the biggest shows of my career and back to a school meeting. It’s extraordinary, this life. I feel like a really dizzy - happy - pinball.

I still can’t believe that only a few days ago I was scrubbing birthday party shaving cream off ry moss of the rocks in the backyard, and I’m already home.

I wrote this little text piece below this morning on socials (on the dolls’ facebook page and a cross-collab Instagram post) between phone meetings and picking Ash up from the bus….but I wanted to say much more.

(Note for the deeper reader: I posted this up on socials a few days ago, but if you wanna understand the whole, sweeping story…I wrote this open letter to Robert Smith (the singer of The Cure, my favorite band from teen-hood) back in 2009, after seeing the band at Coachella (where I was touring with Who Killed Amanda Palmer): https://blog.amandapalmer.net/20091029

(Photos: Anthony Mulcahy)

This picture - i just would not have believed it at 15.

Little me is dying of disbelief.

They say don’t meet your heroes, and sometimes, it is true. But in this case, it was not. Here is Robert Smith with The Dresden Dolls (that’s us, Brian Viglione and Amanda Palmer)

There are few words to explain deep musical lineage, and certain kinds of meeting-moments. That’s why we have the music itself, maybe.

The Cure meant everything to The Dresden Dolls. If our band has a progenitor, a guide who machete’d a path for us, it was this band, this music, this songwriter, this man.

The Dolls played right before The Cure this year at Riot Fest in Chicago .

Robert Smith watched our entire set and, after the whole show wrapped, spent a long time talking with us. There was so much to say, and so much we didn’t need to say.

Robert, Brian and yours truly after the whole festival wrapped.

(photos: Jaron Luksa)

Our hearts are overfull.

We are recovering from the chaos and the travel home but before too much time goes by: people, this is what it’s all about. The moments where we are faced with why we chose this strange job; the loud and joyful reminder of what happens when music pulls us out of ourselves and into one other.

This is what The Cure did for us growing up. This band was our teacher. This band taught us how to band.

There were a lot of tears shed, for many reasons, on Sunday night. So much happiness for such a bunch of goths. 🌈☔️🎉🥀

(Photo by Brendon Downey)

Deep deep thanks to the Riotfest crew for having us all, and to all the folks who came to this festival from around the USA and further afield.

And thanks beyond words to our whole backstage crew, who flew from every corner to be with us for this life-changing show. We bow.

(Photos: Anthony Mulcahy)

Melissa auf def Maur joined us for “Fight for Your Right” on bass; I played drums and Brian played guitar.

(Photos; Kate Scott)

We watched the Cure from side of stage...here's one I took of mister Smithy....

This is us cuddling side of stage with Brian’s lady, Veronica Swift, while the Cure played….

Look at Brian’s face as The Care starts playing.

Me and Brian…side of stage during the cure set.

(These above by Michael McComiskey)

…..

Meeting Robert - finally - was such a strange one for me, a life moment, but also enlightening in ways I could not have predicted.

We talked for two hours about tour, family, life, relationships. Time. Pain. He talked about how he had indeed read my open letter back in 2009, and about how it made him sort of shy and scared. He reminded me a lot of a lot of British men I know. We talked about discomfort. About art. The night wore on.

I told him what he meant to us, how he raised us, how he created us.

We both got teary.

I’ll talk about it on Thursday when we webcast chat, but it was…layered. Beautiful. Sad. Real. Kind of left me speechless. On the walk home, I wept. I had good arms to hold me.

I am also learning, still, so much about myself and what kind of world I’ve been living in until recently.

My moment with Robert grew out of a new sort of fertile ground.

Because it was, critically, the immediate company that I was in - my crew, my hand-holding and supportive humans - that proved to be the key ingredient for a moment like this. And I’ve been waking up to so many parts of myself that have been artificially asleep, comotose, paralyzed for years without my quite noticing what was getting cut off.

Pins and needles again. Waking.

Waking and walking to the lighthouses.

I’ve been coming to the dawning and disorienting realization  that I was under quietening blankets and muffles I didn’t know had come in to cover the experience of my heart.

It feels like breathing sweet, fresh air after being in a locked car for years. To be able to freely laugh, to sing without fear, to dance uninhibitedly, to express joy among friends without the weight of crackling fear.

Being able to be fully at ease in my body for a moment like this, without the crackle of fear.

Oh my god. To sing. To dance....to DANCE!

To dance. With joy.

To be with people who dance with me. Melissa, especially. We danced out asses off. Veronica joined. We cared no cares.

This was the biggest joy of the weekend; the dancing, and the bold expressions of love.

Here’s Michael and EJ. (Photo by me).

Me and Melissa auf der Maur. (Photo by Tony Stone)

Me and Brian, setting up.

(Photos by Michael)

Just….so much love.

So much love.

Here’s a lot more rando photos …me making the setlist and show notes in the trailer / dressing room (photo by Brian)

Hitting stage in the full sun, above, and leaving stage, below....in agony-delight....

….we were spent as fuck.

But so happy.

........

Reviewed in the Chicago Sun Times the next day (thanks dad, for the text).

The review was brilliant.

(Anthony Mulcahy again)

(This one by Brendon Downey).

Lastly ….

We went for a gorgeous post-show walk, my and my outside-heart, through Millenium Park in the fuzz and buzz of Monday morning.

The city swept us into her arms and there were a few more tears before we got on the plane home to get back to the kiddo.

I’ve got to post these here or they’re gonna live on my phone forever more.

Show/Hangover Brunch at Au Cheval…do you spy a Father Nathan Monk??

I fucking loved Chicago.

The dolls we be back there soon.

This is where I remind you to get on the bands fucking mailing list.

I think I gotta go to sleep or I’m gonna fall asleep with this phone on my face.

I’ll see a ton of you thursday for the webcast. There’s a metric fuck ton to tell you. Don’t forget to update your apps so we can try the new chat feature at the end of the cast. Here’s the link again.

I love you all so so so so much.

🖤

Xxx

AFP

Dolls Setlist:

Sex Changes

Gravity

Modern Moonlight

My Alcoholic Friends

Astronaut

Fight for Your Right (with Melissa Auf der Maur on Bass)

Coin-Operated Boy

War Pigs

Half Jack

Girl Anachronism

Cure Setlist:

Alone

Pictures of You

High

Lovesong

And Nothing Is Forever

Cold

Burn

Fascination Street

A Night Like This

Push

In Between Days

Just Like Heaven

At Night

Play for Today

A Forest

Shake Dog Shake

From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea

Endsong

xxxxxx

oh and

PS here's a day I thought I'd never live to see...The Dolls in PEOPLE magazine.

Go figure.

https://people.com/riot-fest-2023-exclusive-portraits-performance-photos-7971468