Kali (Patreon)

The water runs over me in warm, steady lines, soaking into my hair and tracing every curve of my shoulders. I hold the shower handle a little too tightly, like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded. Steam fills the room, softening everything except the way I feel.

I can’t hide from myself in here.

Not today.

There’s a flutter in my chest I can’t control — excitement, sharp and bright, the kind that makes my breath catch. And underneath it, fear. A quieter fear, the kind that whispers instead of shouts. The kind that knows me too well.

It isn’t the world I’m afraid of.

It’s me.

I can feel something changing, something I’ve been pushing down for far too long. The water can’t wash it away, no matter how hot it runs. I look forward, meeting my own reflection in the glossy tile, seeing that mixture in my eyes — a wild spark, and trembling hesitation.

I want something.

I want more than I’ve ever let myself admit.

And that terrifies me.

My heart beats harder at the thought of stepping into my own truth, of letting myself feel everything I’ve held back. Excitement pulls me forward; fear holds me in place. I’m caught between the two, suspended in the heat and the hum of the water.

I take a breath.

Slow.

Unsteady.

I’m on the edge of becoming someone braver than I was yesterday…

and I’m not sure whether that thrills me

or scares me

more.