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Therapy Deep Dive: Keeping Your Light in a Dark World (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-15 15:00:15
Imported:
2026-04
Tags:

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  • 645980552.mp4

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Content

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker offers up an impromptu discussion about coping in these horrifying times. Hope you're finding ways to keep your light in this dark world!

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Comments

Ryan3000

Hi Jono, when things weigh on me I do a few things. The first is I isolate myself, I have to get away from people in order to process. While I'm doing that, everything is on the table. Sometimes I'll just turn everything off and read, sometimes I'll drink, but I always make sure to exercise. It helps me calm down and think more clearly. Once I've done that, then I start planning how to handle whatever is weighing on me. Maybe I can find a way to fix it, or maybe its too big for me to handle myself. That's when I start reaching back out to people and planning a response. I have to deal with my emotions first so that instead of being upset and unable to focus, I can view the issue as a problem to be solved.

PhantomthiefZ

I am unsure of what I do. I turn to art, weather that be music or movies or books or paintings etc and remind myself of ehats beautiful in the world in the face of whats ugly about it. Its likely not the best answer but it helps me treat every encounter assumjng the best of intentions from every person so it works for me I think

ysolde

I take a step back from the news. And then I will read a favorite book, or watch a favorite movie (of course), or go to a museum and enjoy the art (or maybe just watch an episode or two of Rick Steves's Europe and enjoy the art that way, if I feel like cocooning at home), or listen to some wonderful music. All of which will remind me of the great things that humans have done, and are capable of doing. And then I will meditate and pray, looking to become centered once again, so that I can help others in whatever ways I can, remembering that the work of Creation is ongoing, and in our hands.

drmelissamarieadams

Thanks so much Jono. I upgraded my membership just for this deep dive, well worth it. It helps us to keep moving forward when we don’t feel alone in trying to do some good in the world. And the Gandalf quote stays up on my desk. 🫶

Wayward Ace

A friend of mine shared a post from the White House resident and commented “I’m tired, boss.” This is obviously a quote from John Coffey in The Green Mile, and I fully admit to having that quote weigh heavily on my mind recently too. But I decided that other quotes should be on my mind too. “I’m beyond tired. I’m beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me."

CinemaTherapy

You have chosen wisely! I agree, and great choice with the Gandalf quote :)

CinemaTherapy

I think it's as good a strategy as any! Art keeps us in touch with our beautiful humanity. - Jono

ChillChiller

Thank you for this deeply meaningful episode, Jonathan — it's so needed right now. From a psychological perspective, focusing on what we can control rather than spiraling into helplessness over events outside our reach is one of the most effective coping strategies we have. 🔦 It's not about ignorance — we can hold awareness of injustice while still choosing to direct our energy toward small, tangible acts of good in our immediate circle, because that's where real power lives. Self-care isn't selfish; it's the foundation that keeps our empathy alive and prevents burnout so we can keep showing up for others. 💛 Life happens now, and allowing ourselves joy even in hard times isn't denial — it's resilience. Kindness, integrity, and compassion are the quiet superpowers that, when multiplied across communities, create the change we hope to see — even if the world will never be perfectly fixed. 🌱 We can't fix everything, but we can make a difference in someone's & our own life today, and that matters more than we think.

ChillChiller

My Summary of your words @Jono & Community: a) Focus on your own time, resources, and energy instead of uncontrollable events. This aligns with the concept of the "Circle of Control," which teaches that directing attention to what we can influence reduces anxiety and increases feelings of competence. 🎯 b) Ask yourself what good you can do today to focus on small details. Small actionable goals activate behavioral reinforcement, giving you a sense of agency and preventing learned helplessness. ✅ c) "I can make a difference through THAT one" (focus on individual impact). This reflects "self-efficacy"—the belief that your specific actions matter, which is essential for motivation and mental well-being. 🤝 d) We haven't lived in war here, but injustice has always existed; find happiness anyway because life happens NOW. Mindfulness practices anchor us in the present moment, reducing rumination about past trauma or future fears. ⏳ e) Don't take work problems home so you can appreciate life and avoid burnout. Work-life separation protects cognitive resources and prevents chronic stress from depleting emotional reserves. 🔋 f) Self-care is not selfish. Just like putting on your oxygen mask first, maintaining your own health is necessary to sustainably help others (caregiver sustainability). ❤️ g) We can choose who to be—not losing our light—keeping empathy alive. Values-driven action and emotional regulation allow us to respond thoughtfully rather than react negatively to distress. 🧭 h) Kindness is the new superpower—including integrity, kindness, selflessness. Prosocial behavior releases neurochemicals (like oxytocin) that improve mood and build social connection for everyone involved. 🌟 i) Being positive is strategic and necessary. Positive psychology shows that optimism isn't blind denial—it builds resilience and problem-solving capacity during hardship. ☀️ j) Change happens when people unite, but the world won't ever be fully fixed—we make differences in individuals' lives with integrity and compassion. Collective efficacy combined with realistic acceptance prevents despair while sustaining long-term meaningful engagement. 🌍

ChillChiller

feel the same way — upgrading my membership for this deep dive was totally worth it too! It really means so much knowing we’re not walking this path alone, especially when trying to do good in such tough times. 🫶 That Gandalf quote on your desk speaks to my heart as well; it’s a daily reminder to stay hopeful. 💛 We’re stronger together! ✨