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How do you accept influence from your children? How do you create a safe family environment?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are watching Avatar: The Way of Water and diving into movie family therapy with the Sully family. They focus mostly on Jake and his military-like parenting style and how he treats his family like a squad. Jonathan explains what it takes to feel safe in a family, both physically and emotionally, and how to let your children make their own decisions and mistakes. Alan comments on the mind-boggling work that goes into making lifelike digital characters and world. And he praises the actors’ motion capture performances, particularly Sigourney Weaver playing a teenager and crushing it!

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Comments

András Balogh

It is soo funny how you struggle with my name :D Don't worry, I am not mad, I appreciate you trying. It's not Spanish, it's Hungarian, so you had little chance to figure it out :D

Ryan3000

I agree with Jono on everything here except for the first scene where Jake is getting onto the boys, where Jake made a mistake was not pulling the older boy aside to speak to him privately afterward. A mentor (a SGT Major) of mine used to do that to me, he would get onto me publicly to show that what I had done was not acceptable, but then in private would speak to me as an equal and told me 'you're setting a bad example for the younger guys when you do that, I know you were just having fun but your rank means those kids are taking cues from you, be mindful of things like that in the future'

Kalie Shepherd

I'm used to the #cryingwithalan but #ignoringalan had me giggling for like 5 minutes. XD

Smidge

I work with kids, and I joke that they're my favorite teachers! Lack of life experience means a lack of bias and a fresh perspective! c:

jordanthewizard

So glad to hear you guys talk about all the good things about this movie cause I was pretty bummed when the people in the theater with us started critiquing it to shreds literally as soon as it ended… really almost brought me out of the emotional connection I had made with it but honestly, there are sooooo many great storytelling moments in this one!

MrBogglo

I think jake can be vulnerable with neytiri(forgive me if I’m misspelling) and not his children because he views neytiri as capable in protecting herself, so he doesn’t think his vulnerability will undo that with his wife, but worries that that vulnerability will make his children vulnerable by extension

Danielle Dupuis

I would love for y'all to talk about Spider too and dig into his psychology. Poor boy has been through the wringer. And that was the one part that really broke this movie for me when Neytiri did what she did at the end. They'd never been shown to treat their adopted kids as anything less than their kids until that moment and it really pulled me out of the story and made me aware of the storytellers pulling the strings.

HandsomePenguin

Whoever was the one who edited this video. Excellent work. Cutaway and soundbites, on the nose comedy timing. Kudos.

Gabe Vermund

Alan, I can get you into Disney if you wanna come!

Johnny

PAPYRUS?!

Hussain Jeragh

Can we get monster University next and Plant of the apes sequel

Kate Ackerley

Thank you for a this episode on parenting! I'm still crying... My husband and I are currently struggling with our older kid who has such a strong character (that's probably what you get when you unite 2 strong minded human beings.... a super duper strong minded little human) and he's only 6 yo. We are doing couples therapy and our son is doing therapy as well, but we still struggle to understand if, as you said we have an issue with tactics or strategy... or even both at this point. It's currently our hardest challenge and that is not to say that we don't have other ones (our own mental health, work, money, extended family, life in general...) it's just that this is our biggest struggle. I don't know if it's just my experience but therapy is a lot slower with kids...

Erin Brown

Every time you talk about parenting, I always think of the movie Parenthood(1989). That's one that I think would be really well suited to you guys and the ways in which you look at things. Not only that, but I feel like it's a bit of a forgotten gem. And of course, the cast is AMAZING.

Silvia Dragoness

I watched the youtube version of this as soon as it came out (and a few more times since then); signed up for the Patreon just to watch the extended version. I love that you actually go into some of the incredibly impressive technical stuff that went into making this film.

linaea

Great episode! I love this universe. I hope you guys are planning to do Fire & Ash (and the other sequels to come)

Bird

rewatching this after fire and ash makes me want a couples therapy episode for Jake and Neytiri