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Bahamut's Light: Chapter 20 (Patreon)

Published:
2022-08-13 01:16:29
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

In which Nivra awakens in her gryphons arms. Goes to confront a elderly man, comes back to disrupt another good dragonic plan!

Comments

Cryodrake

Sounds as though your dower attitude of our chances has been swept away (I think you meant downer)

Cryodrake

Do you trust me Softpa ws (softpaws)

Cryodrake

Races young and old, furry and those having to clutch tight their thick garments. (I think you meant faces instead of races) Well, learned my dear (comma feels out of place) I’ll admit, it’s strange to just hear the blatant admittal. (I believe word was upset with admittal) “The hour falls soon when you will be tested. When the shadow of darkness will be narrow upon this city, it’s strength only but a fragment but still. There is hope within you, good, hold to that. Let it guide you through.” (not sure if this is me but I feel like this could be rewarded better. I like the content of it just the sentences could be done better, but again I feel like this one is more of a me one.) Folks of different races from wolven, elf and dwarf rummaged around (thought the elves left? I assume some stayed?) I’m just surprised you havn’t left yet (haven't) While he mind still lingered upon (her mind)

Cryodrake

I know that your people and mine have not shared many things. That others will call you demon or blood thirsty bitch. I’ve seen the corruption within our ranks, observed Arcturus. (Paragraph needs rewording, also observed Arcturus? I get what you mean but it's worded odd) “Agreed.” Fremra nodded, “Just let me go gather some things.” (add line, I'll join you later, for clarity)

Cryodrake

This chapter was handled well for Florimel and I like the emotion that's behind him. Also mmmm lovely lewdness from Nivra and Voidwing. X3