Kings Journal: AC Allstars,fake 100, the future (Patreon)

For the Artpacks in February 2020 I started drawing assassins for a little pin-up project. Soon after I thought about drawing all characters from Assassin's Creed and now, one year later I finised the Allstars project.In this Journal I will share my thoughts about this long project and also about a misguiding number of supporters on Patreon, who never existed.AC AllstarsSummarizing the Allstars project I can clearly say: I am proud, that I finished it, but I won't miss it at all. Working on 12 artworks at the same time without packing an assassin into each Artpack was a challenge. It was actually quite annoying and boring after a while.And I thought about ending the project, but in a poll 75% of my patrons requested me to continue. I swear without that poll I would have stopped.At a good time last year I had 100 patrons 75% wanted the Allstars - that means 75 people.And at the same time I could be happy, when 8 people managed to click to the like button below an artwork. 8 of 75. "Wow" not everyone at the same time please.That was frustrating.But I will present a revelation about numbers later in this Journal, that will surprise you. Not a good surprise. Sorry. But a surprise.In comparison to other longer art projects I did in the past: FFXV hotel, Path of Radiance or recently the size contest FFX versus FFXV, the AC Allstars was just too much with 12 characters and over year. Maybe I am not fan enough to endure such a long time.I admit I am having an easy time drawing Final Fantasy guys, because they offer more artistic freedom, while AC has clear boundaries because of the realism.I also think I found out why hardly anyone draws AC fanart:The fanboys and fangirls are so consumed with their own fantasies, that there is no space left for art, which does not hundert percently reflect their personal desires. So I can only fail even with a regular pin-up. Assassin's Creed is no franchise for nsfw fanart.I do not recommend it. I began with AC fanart on Tumblr and although I like drawing rare stuff, I reached a limit with the Allstars project. It was not worth it. It grants me no success and I have zero interest in brown-nosing myself at any fanboy/girl community to beg for support on Patreon.Well, to end the Allstars summary, I can say, that the project made me unhappy, a bit angry, thoughtful and whiny. At the beginning of this Journal I said, that I would be proud. Yes, that's still true, but being proud of finally getting done with something is not satisfying.Fake 100Speaking of satisfaction. It is time for a revelation:I think I never had 100 patrons. It was all fake. How is that possible?!I'll explain. Patreon is actually a good place, but the programming team seems to love editing things secretly and while they do so things get messed up -also secretly.The displayed number of my patrons counted declined patrons and blocked patrons: None of those support me. Some even create an account without having any money. It is ridiculous.So I watched that 100 patrons number for a while and I wondered why my income decreases more and more while there should actually be enough supporters to compensate the loss due to Corona.Well the number was wrong. I lost supporters over months and now that I found out, I was so angry, that I hid the number.I don't want anyone to see how many or few supporters I have. It is none of their business.I always considered that number as irritating, but Patreon recommends to show it. It does not reflect talent or quality or reliability.Some artists can brag with it, but I don't want a number on my main page that influences new, potential patrons.Little number - that must be a bad artist - I won't pledge.High number - wow that artist must be so good - or - that artist earns too much I won't pledge.In both cases the creator loses.The FutureThe good thing of the end of the Allstars is that I finally feel present in 2021. I feel the new year. I lost many supporters and I am sad.I want to use March as a recovery month for my mind. To think about my future.Nevertheless I will create new content. I want to draw something that cheers me up.Maybe I "revive" old crushes from my past.Somehow I feel like giving up and at the same time I feel very defiant.Thank you for reading.Have you ever worked on something that did not make you happy afterwards?How is your year going so far? Do you feel a delay like me?Tell me in the comments.