Reindeer Riding Championships - A Core-Four Micro-Fic (Patreon)

This story contains core-four content. There's no schmexy times in it but they are referenced so if this makes you feel uncomfortable, go ahead and skip it. Mean comments are unnecessary. This is unbeta'd/Unedited and written on large doses of cold medicine. I apologize if it sucks. ETA: IF ENOUGH PEOPLE WANT THE FOLLOW UP SWAP FIC I'LL WRITE IT.The family room was deceptively cozy, tucked within the sprawl of their penthouse apartment. Christmas decorations were everywhere—lights strung over every surface, glittering ornaments reflecting the flicker of the fireplace. The tree stood tall in the corner, its white and gold theme elegant but somehow still managing to feel warm. Felix, naturally, had insisted on perfection. Zane, of course, had wanted it to feel like home. Together, they’d made it perfect. Asa sat cross-legged  with Oscar and West inside the oversized prison yard they called a playpen, their tiny faces glowing with excitement. They sat in their matching Christmas pajamas, both clutching blocks in their chubby baby fists, ready to wreak havoc on Asa’s latest architectural feat. He studied his creation carefully, then adjusted the corner piece of the brightly colored towering structure, his fingers deftly setting a long piece atop the precarious arrangement. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he stared at the two babies who were practically vibrating with unrestrained excitement.They’d finally reached an age where they were beginning to show their own mini personalities. West was quiet, shy, a snuggle bug that needed to be held almost around the clock. He wasn’t discriminating either. He would cozy up to almost anyone, which was both endearing and terrifying, two emotions Asa had always believed himself incapable of experiencing. Oscar was a menace. He was pure chaotic energy, somehow carefully cunning like Felix but also a giant ball of exuberance like Avi. He was always calculating just what he needed to do to get exactly what he wanted from someone. But he was the first to laugh, the first to blow kisses, the first to curl into his baby brother at night when they went to sleep in the same crib. It was fascinating. “Now, boys,” he began, his deep voice low and instructive. “The key to a good structure is the support beams. If the beams aren’t strong, if they’re not exactly where they need to be, everything—” He made a dramatic pause, gesturing to the base of the tower. “—collapses. And when that happens…” He tipped the top piece slightly for effect. “Tens of thousands of lives, gone. Just like that.”West, his head tilted with toddler curiosity, reached out and gave the tower an experimental nudge. It wobbled precariously. Asa barely had time to blink before Oscar lunged forward with both hands, knocking the blocks down in a glorious cascade of noise and chaos.Both boys erupted into squeals of laughter, and Asa couldn’t help but chuckle along. “Good job,” he murmured approvingly, gathering the blocks to start anew. “Never let ‘em know your next move, boys.”“Stop teaching my children to be psychopaths,” Felix said, his lips tugging up at the corners in a barely there smile. “Who has to teach them?” Avi asked. “It’s in their DNA. It's their birthright.” “You don’t share DNA with them, baby,” Felix reminded him gently. “But I’m their dad,” Avi said, his tone so proud that Asa snickered. “That’s not how genetics work and you know it,” Felix said, shooting a look over his shoulder at his husband, who just shrugged, unbothered as always. From the couch, Zane’s soft laugh drew Asa’s attention. He lay sprawled with his head in Avi’s lap, his limbs hanging off the cushions like a lazy cat. Avi’s fingers threaded through Zane’s dark hair absently, his eyes fixed on the television where Frosty the Snowman played.  Several empty mugs—once filled with spiked hot chocolate—now sat on the side table, and though they’d all indulged somewhat, Zane looked deliciously dazed, his cheeks flushed with warmth and booze. He wore a pair of Grinch boxer briefs that covered a disappointing amount of thigh and a black t-shirt that clung to his narrow frame. His tight curls—now long enough to reach his shoulders—were fanned out over Avi’s thigh. He looked good enough to eat. Felix sat on the floor just in front of them, using the couch as a backrest, wrapping presents with the intensity of an artist sculpting marble. His nimble fingers worked swiftly, tying ribbons into intricate curls and fussing over each corner until the package was flawless. He eyed each gift like there would be a competition on Christmas morning, then set them in the ‘wrapped package zone’ to be placed beneath the tree by Asa and Avi later. While Zane looked cozy in his PJ’s, Felix looked like a wealthy widow who’d just offed his fourth husband. He wore red silk pajamas and a matching robe that splayed around him like a cape. His long dark hair was pulled into a bun on top of his head, but tendrils of his wavy dark hair had escaped to frame his face. He looked feminine, feline, almost ethereal. To an outsider, Felix and Zane’s relationship likely made no sense. They had very little in common, other than being tricked into falling in love with murderous vigilantes. But that didn’t seem to matter. They vibrated on a higher level, and had this cosmic connection that Avi and Asa couldn’t quite grasp. They were two halves of the same soul and it showed in the way they seemed to move about the world together seamlessly. They were inseparable. If anyone other than Felix had dared to get that close to Zane, they’d have found themselves at the bottom of a very deep lake. But Asa loved Felix almost as much as he loved Zane. As much as he could love anyone. He was…grateful that Felix gave Zane all the affection and understanding Asa sometimes lacked. Asa also enjoyed their intimacy on a purely selfish level. Separately Felix and Zane were hot, together they were a five-alarm fire. And Asa was always a big fan of fire. “Lois,” Asa called out, leaning his forearms on the edge of the playpen. “You know that’s not me you're snuggling, right?”Zane rolled his eyes at the old joke.“Of course, I do. I still have all my clothes on,” he quipped.“What’s that supposed to mean?” Asa asked, feigning hurt. “Do you not like my snuggles?” Zane smirked at him. “It means when Avi and I snuggle I get pets. When you and I snuggle you’re constantly trying to—” He looked at the babies. “—Stuff my stocking.” Asa and Felix both snorted at the thinly veiled comment. “We both know you love when I stuff your stocking, Lois. Just last night you were begging to suck the stripes off my candy cane,” Asa countered. “Oh, God,” Felix groaned, setting a present on the pile before grabbing another from the mountain of unwrapped gifts. “Please, not the Christmas euphemisms.” Now Asa had no choice but to continue. “You love when I jingle your bells. You were begging for a ride on my reindeer, said you couldn’t wait to visit my North Pole.” “One more pun and your chestnuts will be roasting over that open fire,” Felix warned, pointing an unnecessarily large pair of scissors in his direction. “Hah, you sleigh me,” Asa countered, then stuck out his tongue, laughing when Oscar and West did the same. Felix growled at Asa, then snapped his teeth. “Stop corrupting my children.” Before Asa could retort, Avi blurted, “We should have a competition.”  “A…competition for what,” Felix asked, glancing up at his husband. “And I’m warning you, if you say puns I will add your nuts to that fire.” “Don't threaten me with a good time, kitten,” Avi said. “But no I was just thinking that in all the times we’ve…played together. We’ve never tested your…reindeer riding skills. I think you’d look hot side by side, giving it your all.” The idea of him and Avi lying side by side while Zane and Felix used them had him breaking into a sweat. His brother really did have the best ideas. Fuck. How long before the kids were in bed? Maybe this is what Felix and Zane meant when they said they could never have a nice, normal night together as a family. Felix gave another indelicate snort. “You always want me on top, I’m starting to think all your muscles are just for show.” Avi grinned. “No, you’re just too beautiful when I’m looking up at you.” Felix’s cheeks flushed, but only Asa could see it from where he sat, hastily restacking blocks for the twins to destroy once more. Felix loved compliments. It was the worst kept secret ever. One he’d die before admitting. He liked to give off this vibe of bored indifference, of complete and total confidence. But deep down, he was just cosplaying being an adult like the rest of them. Get a couple of drinks in Felix and he became an endless well of insecurities. Luckily, he never remembered it in the morning. “Well, I’m not going to ugly myself up so that you’ll get on top more often,” Felix warned. “It takes a lot of time and effort to look this flawless.” Avi sighed wistfully. “Then be prepared to put that pilates body to work, kitten.” “My thighs are getting bulky,” Felix muttered, still smiling. “Thick thighs save lives,” Zane said sagely, then giggled. His husband was decidedly tipsy. He’d had at least two of those boozy hot chocolates and he had zero tolerance for alcohol. It was one of Asa’s favorite things about him. “Don’t encourage this,” Felix admonished, turning to dig his fingers into Zane’s ribs until he squirmed with laughter. “You want to spend the night riding these idiots?” Asa chuckled when Zane’s laughter died, his gaze growing hazy, instantly turned on at the idea. “I mean…” “Traitor,” Felix cried. “I’m doing this for you. Your little noodle legs get tired five minutes in and then you start whining and crying, lips all pouty. I’m doing this for you.” “My hero,” Zane swooned. Asa watched as his husband’s expression went from dreamy to crestfallen comically fast. He slapped Felix’s shoulder softly. “That’s mean.  My legs aren’t…noodles. Do you know how much cardio I get by letting that lunatic—” Asa assumed he was the lunatic in question by the aggressive pointing in his direction. “—run me down in the woods like a deer?” “It’s not an insult, baby,” Felix said, turning to kiss his pouting lips. “You’re just naturally lean. I’d kill to be able to eat like you and never gain a pound.” “Don’t even joke about that,” Avi said, looking devastated at the thought. “I love your squishy thighs, they're my favorite ear muffs.” “Mine too,” Zane agreed happily. Their conversation lapsed after that, with only the sounds of baby giggles and crashing blocks interrupting the softly playing Christmas movie in the background. After about twenty minutes or so, Avi blurted,“So…was that a yes to you two facing off tonight? The twins' bedtime is in an hour? Hell, if you want to make it interesting, you two could switch.”“Switch?” Zane asked, twisting his head to look up at Avi, understanding finally dawning on him. “You mean like…switch…reindeer?” Avi’s hand stroked Zane’s face. “Yeah, Zaney. You ride me, Kitten rides Asa…” Zane whined, his fingers finding Felix’s hair and tugging it, eyelids heavy. Yeah, he was both drunk and h0rny. Still, he deferred to them as always. “I’ll do whatever you guys want.” Something like pride swirled in Asa’s chest. “Of course, you will, Lois. You’re always so good for us.” Felix shook his head like he was disappointed. “You really need to work more on playing hard to get, Zaney. One ‘good boy’ and you fold like cheap IKEA furniture.” Zane huffed out a breath that sounded more like he was blowing a raspberry, setting off Oscar and West who had recently perfected their technique for maximum spit range. Zane giggled at the babies who were happily hosing Asa down in their saliva. Fuck, he loved that sound. Almost as much as he loved the sounds of him crying and whimpering, begging to come. He loved how happy Zane was…well, as much as he was capable of loving anything. His husband waved a lazy hand wildly, almost smacking Avi in the face. “I just want to make everyone happy, Lixie.” Avi, ever calm, let out a soft hum. “And you’re doing a great job, Zaney,” he said, his hand fingers going back to combing through Zane’s hair. Zane stared up at Avi, catching his swollen bottom lip between his teeth. Avi was almost always the masochist, letting Felix do what he liked. But when it came to Zane, he brought out the predator in others. He was just meant to be someone’s toy to play with and even Avi couldn’t resist bullying him just a little. He was looking at Zane like a cat toying with a mouse. Zane was too tipsy to be wary. He either didn’t see or didn’t care about the dark look Avi had as he looked him over. His husband lifted a hand, pressing a finger to Avi’s lips. He opened his mouth and bit down on his finger, earning a soft gasp. Felix turned around to see what was happening, then smirked, shaking his head. There really was no jealousy amongst them. When he relinquished his finger, Zane flicked him, voice lacking conviction as he said, “Bad murder puppy. No biting.” Avi made a whiny noise, ruining his apex predator vibe. “You let him bite you.” Zane placed a hand on Felix’s soft curls, petting him like the pampered cat he was. “And you let him carve you up like a Christmas ham but you don’t see me coming at you with a kitchen knife.” “Wow, I can really feel the spirit of Christmas here in the room with us,” Felix deadpanned. “Our children aren’t going to grow up to be malignant deviants or anything.” “Oh, Lix, that ship has sailed,” Asa said. “No child of ours will ever be normal. Not on my watch.” “Yeah, we’re raising Mulvaney’s. They’re gonna be weird,” Avi agreed.“They’re also Navarro’s…” Felix reminded. Avi chuckled. “Kitten, that’s not the flex you think it is.” “My family is normal,” Felix countered, tone haughty. “Your family?” Avi said, voice filled with disbelief. “Please, kitten.” “How is my family abnormal?” Felix asked, head swiveling from Asa to Avi. “Your brother met our brother while playing body part jeopardy then blew him next to a corpse,” Asa reminded. Avi nodded. “And you told the entire office that I was way too friendly with horses.” “That sounds like a Mulvaney problem, not a Navarro one.” “Oh. Oh. Oh,” Zane said, hands waving. “You have a collection of razor sharp cat claw rings that aren’t just for decoration,” Zane added excitedly. Felix’s expression grew more and more disgruntled with each reminder, looking very much like a cat who’d been left out in the rain. He gave Zane a hurt look. “You too, Zaney?” “Sorry, Lix,” Zane said, doing his best to look contrite as he leaned forward to press a kiss to his shoulder. “Okay, okay,” Felix muttered. “Both our families are weird.” Once more, the room fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by the soft strains of holiday music in the background and the faint dialogue from the television. Asa resumed building his tower, glancing at the screen as Frosty trudged into the greenhouse carrying Karen. Avi tilted his head, his brows knitting together.“Why didn’t Frosty just set Karen down inside the greenhouse and stay out in the snow?” Avi asked, his tone genuinely puzzled. “He could’ve avoided the whole melting thing.”Zane made a noise of agreement. “Plot hole,” he slurred. “There’s always a plot hole. Like, why didn’t they just close the door behind her?”Avi nodded, looking almost offended. “Exactly. And why was Karen so fragile she needed Frosty to carry her? She had legs.”Asa huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “You’re overthinking a children’s cartoon, Avi.”Avi’s expression remained serious. “It’s a bad plan. You’d think a living snowman would be more strategic.”Felix shook his head. “You’re the only person I know who could critique Frosty the Snowman like it’s a tactical failure.”“That’s because it was a tactical failure,” Avi replied smoothly.“Da-da-da,” West babbled, abandoning the rubble of blocks to climb into Asa’s lap. He hoisted the baby up so he could rest his head on his shoulder. They’d long since given up trying to help them differentiate between parents and uncles. It didn’t matter. They were all raising them together. The scent of lavender and baby powder had Asa squeezing just a little tighter. It was weird how much he liked the way Oscar and West smelled. It was clearly an evolutionary thing, some biological fail-safe that allowed Avi and Asa to look at these two helpless creatures and feel…territorial…protective.He looked around at the others, ensuring they weren’t watching before pressing his nose to West’s hair and inhaling deeply. Yeah, he’d die for these kids. He’d go pure scorched earth even. When he glanced over, Felix was watching him with those insanely feline honey eyes. Unlike Zane, it took a lot to turn Felix on. He needed to be touched, coaxed into anything like that slowly. He was a tactile creature by nature, but Asa adoring Felix’s biological babies definitely seemed to spark something inside him.“Okay,” Felix murmured, gaze plastered to Asa’s. “Okay?” Zane asked, confusion etched between his brows. Felix shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. “We can…swap teams…if you want.” Avi’s gaze followed Felix’s, landing on his brother snuggling with his baby, smirking knowingly. Asa watched as Avi’s hand fell to Zane’s hip, squeezing softly. “What do you think, Zaney?” Even from this distance, Asa could see his husband’s pupils were already fully blown at the thought. “Yeah, as long as I can play with Lix first.”Asa laughed. “Nobody would ever say no to that, Lois. Literally nobody.”“Okay, bedtime for the boys,” Felix declared. Avi clicked off the television and Zane clumsily sat up giving Felix a sloppy back hug, before letting Avi pull him to his feet. Asa handed West to his father, then scooped up Oscar who was just about to chuck a block out of the playpen. Bedtime had become a well-oiled machine. It usually consisted of two people prepping the bottles and nursery, two giving baths. All of them would then wrestle them into their nighttime pull-ups, pajamas and weighted sleep sacks, before Avi or Zane attempted to read them a bedtime story complete with voice acting. The boys were just getting to an age where they would slow down to listen instead of zooming around the playroom on their chubby baby legs. Tonight, they’d already gotten baths after Thomas and Aiden had delivered them back to the house covered in chocolate ice cream without any explanation whatsoever. They were also already in their bedtime clothes, crossing several things off their bedtime to-do list. Once in the playroom, the boys toddled to the felt Christmas tree on the wall while Zane turned on the noise machine. Felix refilled the Breza and Asa made sure their cribs had everything they needed for the night. Pillow, blanket, their two well-worn stuffed rabbits. There were two cribs in the nursery, but it didn’t matter. They would no longer sleep apart. In the beginning, they’d listened to the experts who said that it was unsafe for them to co-sleep, with each other or their parents. But now, at eighteen months, they were getting a little lax in their protocols. Sometimes they just needed sleep. Besides, they had cameras that monitored their breathing. How unsafe could they be?It probably wasn’t a good idea to encourage that level of codependence at such a young age, but West was inconsolable without Oscar there to cuddle him. Besides, who were Asa and Avi to say what was truly codependency and what was just brotherly love? Once all preparations were made, Avi sat in the rocker and read Baby Santa with Felix perched on his knee. The boys ignored the adults, happily ripping the velcro ornaments off their tree and rearranging some to their liking while chewing on the others. Zane settled himself between Asa’s knees where he sat on the floor, leaning his weight into him and resting his head on his shoulder. “Hey, Lois. You feeling okay?” “Mm,” Zane said, turning his face to nuzzle Asa’s neck, his next words vibrating against his skin. “I feel buzzy. It’s nice. I love our little family.” It was hardly a new sentiment. Zane said it at least three times a week. Anytime he was overwhelmed with love for them. But for the first time Asa got exactly what he meant. He wrapped his arms around Zane, looking around at his family and realized that this was what contentment felt like. This was what Zane was always talking about. This was his favorite kind of chaos.