Loch & Josh - A Vengeful Bonds Prequel Snippet (Patreon)

This is unbeta'd/unedited. I created this as a newsletter freebie but, as always, you get it first. Just a little drabble about just how deep Loch's obsession with Fenny was.

A sharp pain sliced through Loch’s forehead, yanking him from sleep. His heart rate shot to a thousand, his arm shooting out, wrapping a hand around the throat of the man hovering above him. He opened his eyes to find brown hair flopping into twinkling brown eyes. Josh. He laughed sharply as he watched Loch try to blink away the cobwebs of sleep. He had a habit of waking Loch by flicking his forehead. One of these days it was gonna get him killed.

“Dick,” Loch muttered, shoving his friend away from him.

“You’re calling me a dick?” Josh said around a laugh. “I come back from a run to find you clutching a picture of my beloved baby brother…again.”

Loch’s gaze jerked to his own hands, finding the picture in question clenched in his grasp. When had he grabbed that? As always the picture stirred something deep in him, a feeling like warm honey flowing through his chest. Fenny. Fen. Loch’s very own happy pill. His only source of light in this shitty fucking place. 

Josh grinned, plucking the photo from Loch’s fingertips, examining it with far too much scrutiny. “I swear to God if I find out that you’ve been jerking off to this pic, I’m gonna be honor bound to fucking kill you man, best friend or not. It’s in the bro code.”

Loch rolled his eyes as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his bunk, digging the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, trying to remember what he’d been dreaming about. Lately, Loch only had two modes, horrific nightmares that had him waking up in a cold sweat, or dreams of golden blonde curls, big cornflower blue eyes and freckles for days. Today it was the latter. He could still smell the scent of wildflowers in his nose. 

Fen. His Fen. No, Josh’s Fen. Josh’s baby brother. Emphasis on baby. Practically a kid. But not. Not really. The others found it hilarious, Loch’s weird draw to Josh’s sweet faced omega brother. He found it weird, too. Who wouldn’t. They’d never met. They’d never even been in the same room together, but Loch would know him anywhere. He knew his scent, his voice, his smile, the sounds of pleasure he made when he was touched just so. 

Or maybe he just had a good imagination. It was really the only explanation. Why else would he feel so close to a stranger? It was like he knew him to his core…like he’d always known him. It felt like a part of him was missing before he’d found that picture on Josh’s wall. 

Fen was the ghost that haunted him, this chirpy little voice he sometimes overheard when he talked to Josh on the phone. Those calls happened less and less now that they were in the middle of this godforsaken desert. Not that Loch had anyone to call anyway. If they gave him the option of calling anyone, he’d probably call Fen and wouldn’t that be fucking awkward? Especially for Fenny. 

He hated alphas. Not that Loch blamed him. Josh said their cop dad had treated Fen like shit since the moment it became clear he’d present as an omega. Josh had tried to protect him as much as he could, but the psychological scarring was still there. The man had spent years gaslighting the boy, treating him like he should apologize for an accident of birth that was completely out of his control. The irrational anger that rose in Loch every time he thought of Josh and Fen’s father made no sense to anyone, least of all him. But if the man was still alive, Loch would have killed him without thought. 

“I’m serious, man,” Josh said with another sharp laugh. “This photo better not be sticky. It’s already suspiciously worn over his face from you rubbing on it.

Josh had never been serious about a single thing in his entire life. That’s why Loch liked him. He brought some much-needed levity to their team.

Loch flushed. He couldn’t deny that. “Shut up.” 

“Hopefully, he’s rubbing on it with his fingers and not his–” 

“Don’t be gross,” Loch said, cutting Binnie off from where he perched on the top bunk across the room.

“Binnie?” Josh barked. “That’s rich coming from you. He’s not the one who keeps stealing photos of my family. Hell, he might be the only alpha I know who I would trust with my brother. How would you feel if I started stealing photos of your family?” 

Loch didn’t have any family left to speak of. Not really. “I mean, you’re welcome to any photos of my great-uncle Bob you like, but I don’t think anyone’s considered him jerk-off material in a few decades,” Loch said, voice rough from sleep.

“So you admit it, you’ve been stealing pics of our sweet little baby omega for your spank bank?” Binnie crowed. To Josh, he said, “I told you.”

Loch gave him the finger, just as the door slammed open, Saint and Ollie falling through it. Saint stopped short, causing Ollie to crash into him, earning a glare from the alpha.

“What? You’re the one who stopped for no reason. Have some brake lights installed, asshole,” Ollie muttered, stepping around him. He glanced up at Binnie, whose leg dangled off the top bunk. “What did we miss? Why’s Sarg so grumpy?”

“Josh found him violating that pic of poor Fenny again,” Binnie said. “You know how he gets whenever anyone brings up his weird obsession with the kid.” 

“Fuck you, I was not,” Loch grumped. “You were in here the whole time.”

Saint snorted. “Like that’s ever stopped you before.”

They were all a little too close, even for section. Since omegas couldn’t work for Cerberus–because they couldn’t serve in the military, a prerequisite for Cerberus–the whole company consisted of alpha’s and betas and only about fifteen percent were betas. That meant a lot of egos and a lot of posturing. Cerberus also had a policy against hiring females. Peter Dresden said they were no better than omegas, that they were too emotional for combat. It was hilarious to Loch that a man like Dresden said that women and omegas were the ones who couldn’t hold it together under pressure, when fights broke out almost daily there. 

“It’s never stopped you, either,” Ollie said accusingly.

“Two weeks ago, I caught you railing Binnie in the shower. You don’t get to act like you have some kind of moral high ground here,” Saint said, his voice raspy as sandpaper, as he climbed onto the bunk above Loch’s, flopping down hard enough to shake the metal frame.

Saint and Ollie had been on patrol for the last fourteen hours. That meant he and Josh were next. Loch would rather do almost anything else. He was getting too old for this shit. 

“Who hasn’t been balls deep in him?” Josh asked, giving Binnie a lascivious look. “He’s a little slut, unlike my sweet little baby brother.”

Loch watched as Josh used a new piece of tape to restick the photo to the wall next to his bunk, grateful he could still look at him.

“Didn’t your ‘sweet little baby brother’ just get a job with the NSA?” Saint asked. “I doubt he's as pure as the driven snow. Not as pretty as he is. Omegas like that…they get snatched up quick, usually by the most undeserving assholes alive.”

“Not my Fenny,” Josh said. “He hates alphas. He doesn’t really believe in relationships at all. He’s waiting for me to get out so we can get an apartment together. Between my earnings and his salary, we can get a decent place. Then I can keep a better eye on him.”

“Won’t that be weird?” Ollie asked. “Like…if your brother gets over his hatred of alphas? He’s young now, but he might want kids someday. Won’t having you there scare off any potential mates?”

“My brother is never gonna end up with an alpha,” Josh said. “He doesn’t want kids because if the baby is an omega like him, he thinks any father will treat them the way our father treated him. He’s too good for an alpha anyway,” He glanced at each of them, before looking at Loch. “Except maybe sarg here. He’s the only one I’d really ever let near him.”

“Wooow,” Binnie said. “That’s kind of fucked up. You don’t think we’re good enough for your brother?”

There was no heat to his statement. If anything, he sounded amused.

“We’re not good enough for his brother,” Saint said. “We’re all damaged goods. Besides, what do you care? You want an alpha’s knot more than any omega I know.”

“And you don’t mind helping me out anytime I ask,” Binnie countered, with a knowing smirk.

“A hole is a hole,” Saint said, boredom leaching into his tone.

Loch glanced at the time. They still had a while before he was expected to post up. He dropped back onto his bunk with a sigh. He would miss this banter someday. Sometimes he longed for the outside world, but he wasn’t sure any of them could make it out there after Cerberus.

“You love this fucking hole,” Binnie shot back. “Don’t act like you don’t come to me when you’re horny.”

Saint’s only response was a grunt. It was no secret that they all took turns helping out Binnie, especially during his rut. He did the same for them. They were lucky Binnie was so accommodating. If the others in the company knew there was an alpha who liked being topped by other alphas, Binnie wouldn’t be safe. This place was so fucking toxic.

They were all close to the end of their contracts. Loch, Binnie and Ollie would all be released within weeks of each other. Josh would be the last one out. If none of them agreed to do another stint. Loch was torn. Part of him hated it there. Some days the idea of seeing another desert had him contemplating eating a bullet. Others, the thought of living in the outside world, trying to pull some 9-to-5 job…sounded like hell on Earth.

Luckily, private military installations paid six figures. He could just find someplace cheap and hunker down for a while, try to see if he was even fit to live around others. Once more, his gaze went to the blue-eyed boy who haunted his dreams. He and Josh looked nothing alike. Fen favored his omega mother, Josh his douchebag father. Both were attractive, but in far different ways. Maybe that was the real reason their father hated Fen. He’d treated Fen’s mom like shit, too. 

“I’m going back to sleep, wake me when it's time for patrol.” 

Josh gave him an affirmative sound, but it was clear he was already lost in whatever graphic novel he was reading. 

###

Later that night, the desert was eerily silent but for the occasional distant hum of machinery. Loch sat on the hood of the jeep, only the chatter from coms interrupting his peace. The stars overhead were so bright it made the darkness seem endless.

Josh joined him without a word, dropping down beside him. For once, he didn’t speak right away. That alone made Loch look over.

“You good?” Loch asked.

Josh was quiet a second longer before he exhaled through his nose. “No. But I will be. If I finish what I started.”

Loch didn’t ask what he meant. He knew. Josh had been twitchier than usual lately, sharper around the edges. Less jokes, more silences. He had a bug up his ass about this place ever since one of their own died in a ‘training accident’ a few weeks ago. Josh had somehow convinced himself there was something deeper there, some kind of conspiracy. 

“Cerberus is rotting from the inside,” Josh said finally. “And the higher up you go, the worse it gets. There are things I’ve seen... this place isn’t just corrupt. They’re doing things that—if they got out—the whole fucking world would burn.”

Loch nodded slowly, trying to gauge just how far in Josh was.

“Joshie, why are you doing this, man? You know the connections Dresden has. You shouldn’t even be talking about this shit around here.” 

Josh gave a humorless laugh. “We’re the only thing out here for miles. Who’s gonna tell? You?” 

“Don’t even joke about that. I’m serious, kid. Dresden isn’t the kind of person who gets taken down. He has too many things on too many powerful people. You know that. We all do. Powerful men will do anything to keep their secrets. You’re just one guy.” 

“You sound like Binnie and Saint. Hell, even Ollie thinks I’m crazy for even caring about this shit.” Josh looked down at his hands. “But people are dying. Innocent people. I told Fenny that I didn’t trust this place. He said he believed me, that someone should do something, but maybe it shouldn’t be me.”

At the mention of Fen, Loch felt something clench deep inside him. The kid was thousands of miles away but he was everywhere tonight.

“That kid believes in justice like it's a religion,” Josh said, softer now. “He’s brilliant. Scary brilliant. Knows encryption like no one I’ve ever met. He could crack the fucking Pentagon if he wanted to.”

Loch chuckled dryly. “He got that from you?”

Josh shook his head. “No. Fen’s better than me. Always has been. He doesn’t even know it yet. That’s the problem. He’s still trying to prove he’s worth something in a world that keeps trying to tell him he’s not.”

“Parents really know how to fuck us up,” Loch said, for lack of anything more productive to say.

Josh looked over at Loch, his expression serious now. “If anything ever happens to me…I need you to find him, look out for him.”

Loch stared at him, stomach churning. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“I mean it. He doesn’t like alphas…but he knows I trust you. I know you’ll look out for him. Keep him safe.”

“He doesn’t even know me,” Loch said.

Josh smiled, faint and sad. “He knows enough. I told him about you. He used to listen to me talk about the team. He liked your voice. Said you sounded kind.”

Loch felt like his ribs had cracked. “You shouldn’t have told him about me.”

“Why not? You guys are the only ones I’d trust with him. You especially. And I know you feel it too. That connection.”

Loch didn’t answer. He didn’t need to.

Josh leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I know I give you shit about the way you look at him, but I never got to protect Fen the way I wanted to. Not fully. Not from our dad. Not from the world. But maybe you could.”

Loch hated the trickle of unease dripping along his spine like ice water. “You make it sound like you’re not coming back.”

Josh looked out over the sand. “I hope I do. I hope we all do. But how many of us have already died for this fucking company? I have a feeling you and Fenny will find each other whether I’m around or not. Maybe it's fate and shit. Maybe you guys are just…meant to be. Hopefully, I’m there to see it. But if I’m not…you'll watch over him?”

Loch didn’t want to have this conversation…at all…but the idea of seeing Fen for any reason made his heart crack open like an egg. “Yeah. I will.”

Josh smiled again. This one looked more real. “Thanks, man.”

They sat in silence after that, staring up at the constellations like they could somehow divine the future from them. Was Fenny in his future? Did he even have a future? Who could know? No matter how long he stared up at those stars, they revealed nothing. He had no choice but to let them keep their secrets. At least for now.