Kozy Kills #5 - Avi & Felix Bonus (Patreon)

I know I promised this months ago, but better late than never. Someone has been begging me for schmoopy Avi/Felix for a while so here's a healthy dose of fluff with a little bit of slow boning. Hopefully this scratches that itch...so to speak. Unbeta'd/Unedited but I did sort of run it through spell check.

Felix’s hands ached, the pads of his fingers burning from holding the tiny needle. If this was how they felt now, how long before arthritis set in? He shook the thought away, squinting as he speared the center of a sequin, securing it to the fabric beneath.

Beside him, Avi huffed out a laugh.

“What?” Felix asked, pausing to take in his husband.

“Zaney sent pics of the boys to the group chat.”

Felix smiled, setting down the needle to grab his phone. He swiped to open it, scrolling through the dozens of messages between Avi and Zane. Some were mundane, updates about the boys’ bedtime routine, how well they’d eaten, a series of bath pics with bubble mohawks, the way they’d begged Asa to read the same book three times before finally passing out. And how Asa, of course, had done it because he was a pushover.

There were spicy texts, too–between Avi and Zane–which meant Asa was already asleep. The most recent pictures, aside from the boys in the tub, included one of Zane sprawled naked in bed, hand wrapped around his cock, and another of Avi, shirtless and pants unbuttoned, stretched across the studio floor just five feet away. Felix let his gaze linger, drinking in the skin on display, before he shut the phone with a snap.

The large numbers of the time on his lock screen smacked him in the face. His gaze darted to the clock on the wall. Shit. Had they really been here that long? He’d brought Avi in to pin his suit for the Met Gala, which hadn’t taken long at all. Avi had made a great mannequin, even if he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

When Felix said he wanted to finish the beading on a gown due for delivery in a couple of weeks, Avi had offered to wait. Felix had promised it wouldn’t take more than thirty minutes. That had been two hours ago.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you lie there that long.”

Avi’s gaze flicked to his, a lazy smile curving his lips, the bulge in his pants obvious. “It’s fine. I know how to keep myself occupied.”

Felix arched a brow. “Sexting Zaney?”

“Yeah. Asa fell asleep and he was restless. You know it’s hard for him to sleep with the monitor on. He wakes up to every tiny noise. I just helped wear him out a bit.”

Felix felt that knife-sharp pang of guilt. He did know that. That’s why they rarely stayed out late like this. Zane never complained, but his insomnia made sleep a constant battle. He refused medication because it left him too groggy.

“We should get going.”

“Zaney said we could stay as long as we need,” Avi assured him. His voice was soft, affectionate. “Besides, I love watching you work. Especially now. Watching you sew those sequins makes me think of that night. The first time we…hooked up? Sounds so cheap when I put it that way.”

“I was sure it was just a hook-up. I’d resigned myself to being a one-night stand.”

Felix smiled, then stood, ensuring the dress was secure on the table before he crossed the room to the pile of fabric scraps his husband had turned into some kind of nest. He let Avi take his hand and tug him down, curling into his side, his hand sliding down to grope his length, giving him a squeeze before finally abandoning it to lay his palm on his bare chest.

“Hard to believe we ended up here,” Felix said, resting his head on Avi’s chest.

“It was only a matter of time,” Avi said. “I knew you were mine the minute I laid eyes on you.”

Felix scoffed. “It would have been helpful to know.”

“I hardly made it a secret, kitten. I flirted with you constantly,” Avi reminded him.

“You flirted with everyone,” Felix said grumpily.

Avi made an indignant noise. “I did not.”

“You were constantly smiling at people in your office. Especially that one intern…Rita? Ria? Reya. Something like that. She used to sit on the corner of your desk while you looked over her designs.”

Avi laughed softly. “Kitten, I have no idea who you’re talking about, but I promise the only person on my radar was you. You were the one who was so mean to me. It was hot.”

Felix rolled his eyes but couldn’t fight his smile. “I thought my stupid crush on you was completely unrequited. I kept imagining you marrying someone else and it made me feel…stabby.”

“Everything makes you feel stabby,” Avi teased. “You might be a cat, but you’re a feral one.”

“When it came to you, I was so much worse. I used to pace back and forth in the garage and force the others to listen to me rant about how much I hated you. None of them were buying it. They told me I should just make a move and get it over with but I was too afraid of looking like a fool. So, instead, I went with the totally mature plan to sabotage every one of your relationships before they started.”

“Really? You never told me that before.” Felix could hear the amusement in his voice.

“I did. I totally did.”

Avi made a noise of disbelief. “No, I just put two and two together that the person telling everyone I sucked in bed and that I had an…equine f *tish was you. But only after we went to Aiden’s.”

Felix felt a pang in his chest. “I really was a brat back then.”

“I know. It was sexy as hell,” Avi said. “Still is. I love that you don’t take any shit from anyone. Especially me.”

“Why weren’t you more angry about the horse thing?” Felix asked, his nails tracing patterns over Avi’s bare chest, smirking as Avi’s nipples hardened whenever he circled them with one claw-like nail.

“Are you kidding? I was so happy. It meant you were marking your territory, that I had a real shot at wearing you down. I liked being yours. Correction, I loved it. Still do.”

The surge of emotion hit like a bruise blooming under his ribs. He blinked back the sudden tears threatening. “That’s…nice,” he managed thickly. “You’ve always been so…good to me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

“You’ve always deserved it,” Avi said. “If you had been nicer, you wouldn’t have been you, and I wouldn’t have been interested.”

“Thanks?” Felix asked. “I think.”

Avi chuckled. “I’m serious. The minute you entered stage left, your mother's sweater wrapped around you like armor, giving as good as you got, I was all in. You were almost as prickly as Freckles.”

“Hey,” Felix cried, slapping his chest hard enough to make him hiss.

“And so fucking beautiful,” Avi added dreamily. “The most beautiful person I’d ever seen. Your eyes, your hair, your lips…Fuck, the way I used to dream about those lips.”

Felix choked on the emotion clotting in his chest. “Stop. You’re gonna make me cry.”

“Don’t cry, kitten. Have I not been giving you enough attention? This can’t be new information.”

It wasn’t. Not really. Avi never failed to tell him how much he loved him, how much he wanted him, how amazing he thought he was. It was Felix who probably didn’t say it nearly enough. But this morning had stirred up the dust in the attic of Felix’s darkest thoughts. That Kyle kid had resurrected some of his oldest insecurities.

“I’m just kind of sensitive from that fucking douchebag telling that girl he slept with you. Like, I knew it wasn’t true. I knew it wasn’t, but the idea that it could be–”

“It couldn’t be,” Avi interrupted fiercely. “You have to know that. I love our life as it is.”

Felix shook his head. He wasn’t saying it right. He sucked at feelings. “That’s not what I mean…It’s like…I think I take this life we have for granted sometimes.”

Avi hesitated before asking, “What do you mean?”

Felix flailed a bit, the hand on Avi’s chest gesturing at nothing in particular. Was he really going to say all this out loud? He felt like he had to. Avi deserved to know. He deserved the truth. “I couldn’t imagine you wanting me. And now I not only have you, I have the boys and Zaney and Asa.”

“Right?” Avi said, confusion plain on his face. He sounded almost bewildered. Like Felix, he was still sorting it.

Felix didn’t know how to explain it. “I’m a Mulvaney now. There was a time when marrying a Mulvaney was almost as plausible to me as walking on the moon.”

“Why? I know we’re privileged, but we’re still just people.”

“We were hardly likely to cross paths. We come from two very different universes.” He sighed, heart squeezing as Avi’s arm beneath him came around his shoulders, petting him through the thin, threadbare shirt he wore. The gesture was small but it steadied him.

“When I was a kid, Jericho was my lifeline. My dad loved us but he was…rigid. He and my mom were strict, devout Catholics. I don’t know how he would have handled having two gay sons. I sometimes feel relieved he died without knowing. Especially after how he dealt with Mercy’s…assault. Which makes me feel like a terrible person.”

“You don’t have to say all this…”

Felix shook his head against Avi’s chest. “No. I do. Unless you don’t want to hear it.”

They weren’t a deep-thoughts couple. Felix had been such an emotional rollercoaster when they were dating–a giant ball of insecurity–that he’d vowed not to burden Avi with his moods any more than necessary. He had Zaney for his big meltdowns. Avi got the small ones; Zaney the theatrics.

“I always want to hear what you have to say,” Avi said.

“My life went from the usual mundane childhood stressors–bullying, homework, the oppressive weight of my parents’ expectations–to a Lifetime movie in record time. Mercy was raped, then she got into drugs, then she went missing; my dad died; my mom was attacked and ended up in a coma for months before she woke up and had no idea who we were.”

Felix’s heart tripped as he felt Avi’s lips brush the top of his head. Avi’s mouth was a benediction, a prayer…a small gesture of forgiveness that wasn’t actually his to give. But Felix would take it anyway.

“Through all of this, I was going through the most awkward puberty known to mankind. But despite everything, despite the fact that Jericho was also a kid in almost every way, he shielded me from the worst of it. He took on all the burdens. Sometimes I would see him sitting in his office-my dad's office-swearing under his breath about how he was going to keep the lights on or pay the water bill. We converted the garage offices upstairs into an apartment because we got evicted.”

This wasn’t where he’d intended to go with the conversation, but now that he’d started, he wasn’t sure he could stop until he got it all out, like some kind of emotional purge. He needed to empty it, if only to breathe.

“Still, when Nico’s mom brought home another creep–like the guy who put a lock on the refrigerator–or when Levi’s mom forgot to feed him or even come home, Jericho always made sure we had food. He made my life too easy. He did all the struggling for us while I got to wrestle with being an orphan with a missing sister.”

“You were a little kid.”

“So was he. He wasn’t even old enough to legally drink. But he never complained. He dropped out of school, got his GED, took over the garage. I never even asked him if he liked working as a mechanic. He just did it and I let him. I was so wrapped up in my own selfish shit, I barely noticed.”

“You’re being way too hard on yourself,” Avi said.

Felix shook his head, absently wiping at the tears that had started. “No, I’m not. When he met Freckles, my first thought was about myself. I was sure he was going to ruin everything, take the last remaining member of my family. I’d never seen my brother so fucking in love. It terrified me. I made myself as obnoxious as possible, hoping Jericho would break up with him, but secretly terrified that he’d choose him instead. And then I saw you.”

“Me?” 

“Mm. You were standing in that garage, looking like every dark fantasy I’d never dared to want. You were so conceited, so smug, so confident. I hated it. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You gave me something new to fixate on, something to fantasize about. But it wasn’t real. Jericho deserved a Mulvaney. Not me. There was no way Avi Mulvaney would want me. I couldn’t imagine your world including someone like me.”

He laughed, self-deprecating. He really wished he could stop this rant.

“That’s crazy,” Avi said. “I was so into you. The second I saw you.”

Felix gave a watery smile, raw from everything the day had dug up. “All I knew about you was what I’d read online. The press made you and Asa into total fuckbois, always partying, always together, sharing partners but never twice with the same guy. Not to mention the rumors that you were involved with…each other.”

Avi huffed. “Yeah, those rumors were…prevalent.”

Felix buried his face in Avi’s chest, words muffled. “It wasn’t even a dealbreaker for me. Asa was terrifying, sure. But not so terrifying I’d refuse to be with you if you wouldn’t give him up.”

Avi stiffened, curiosity sharpening his voice. “Wait. Did you think Asa and I were together-together when we started dating?”

“I didn’t think you were. But I couldn’t a hundred percent rule it out. Besides, I wasn’t totally off. Asa told me about your little games out in the woods. When you were kids.”

“He did, huh?” Avi said ruefully. “He always loved stirring the pot.”

“I think maybe he just sometimes misses being that close to you. I don’t mind. Zaney doesn't either. We get the bond you two have, we see how you think of yourselves as one person. Two halves of the same whole, as Zaney put it. I didn’t care. About any of it. As long as I got to have you too. Pathetic, right? How desperate is that?”

“I can hear how upset you sound, but I’m so happy you liked me this much. And look at us now,” Avi teased, brushing his lips across Felix’s hair once more.

“Yeah,” Felix said, kissing the warm skin beneath his lips.

They were quiet for a long beat before Avi asked, “If you were so into me, why did you fight me so hard?”

“You know why,” Felix countered, chest tight.

“I don’t though. Not really. You acted like you hated me.”

Felix closed his eyes. “I was a scared, angry little virgin with a crush on a celebrity who teased me constantly. There was no reality where someone like you could love someone like me. If anything, I thought I’d be a novelty. A one-time fuck. Maybe you’d sleep with me once and our only future interactions would be a lifetime of awkward holiday family dinners.”

“So why did you kiss me that night?” Avi pressed.

“You kissed me. I slapped you. Twice,” Felix said primly.

“But then you kissed me. Dragged me in by my hoodie and begged me to fuck you. I thought I’d won the lottery or something.” His voice went low, heavy with memory. The night was etched into Felix’s brain forever.

He flushed. 

Fuck me. It’s my birthday.

That’s what he’d said. It was, to this day, the single most erotic moment of his life. His heart had been beating out of his chest, his body tuned directly to Avi’s frequency. He’d never been so scared and so turned on at the same time.

“So…why did you do it?” Avi asked again, gentler now.

“The truth?”

“Always,” Avi said.

Felix shut his eyes, words spilling out raw. “Cause I was wallowing in self-pity and wanted my outsides to hurt as much as my insides.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s not like that. I mean, it was a little like that. I knew demanding you fuck me without prep would hurt, but the pain of losing my virginity bent over a sewing table definitely beat the pain of missing my mother on my birthday.”

“I was so rough with you,” Avi said, not exactly remorseful, more distant, like he was caught in his own memory of that night.

“I forced you to be. I was bossy. I wanted it to hurt. I needed it to hurt. It was a distraction…but that’s not the only reason. I had this idea that if I could just have you once, I’d get you out of my system. Kill the fantasy. Especially if it hurt.”

“But?”

Felix smiled faintly, even though Avi couldn’t see it. “But it had the opposite effect. The sex hurt, but in a way that felt so good in that moment. It was exactly what I needed. And you acted like you were the lucky one–”

“I was.”

Felix sniffled, tears drying up. “After that night, I was even more miserable. Not only was I low-key in love with you, now I knew what it felt like to have your hands on me, your mouth. I knew what it felt like to have you inside me.”

Felix shifted, rutting his erection against Avi’s thick thigh so he could feel exactly what their reminiscing was doing to him.

“That night ruined me,” Avi said, pressing down until Felix whined. “I’d never realized my masochism translated to sex as well. You were so bossy and desperate, and tight. Fuck, I could barely get inside you. I probably should have guessed you were a virgin, but I couldn’t imagine you not having even one sexual experience.”

Felix’s whole body prickled with warmth at the memory. For the first time in a long while, he felt like he had back then, like some inexperienced virgin trying to seduce the older, more confident man of his dreams.

He let Avi rock his thigh against him, hips rolling lazily, breath quickening. “I wasn’t willing to settle for mediocre. I would rather have been alone than accept the attention of someone who treated me like an afterthought. I blame Arsen for that.”

“Arsen?” Avi asked. “Why Arsen?”

“You might not believe this, but he was so cold when it came to sex. He was upfront with people, but they never seemed to believe him when he said he didn’t do anything more than one-night stands. That he didn’t do feelings. I remember thinking I never wanted to be on the other side of that conversation. That’s why you scared me.”

Avi shifted, and suddenly Felix was sprawled across his body, staring down at him as he asked, “And now?”

Felix swallowed hard. “You still scare me.”

The way Avi’s face fell was almost comical. “What?”

“Nothing is guaranteed,” Felix said quietly. “Nobody knows better than me that tragedy can strike when you least expect it. I have a life I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams. The hottest golden retriever husband alive. The sweetest, most delicate boyfriend in the world who loves you and my kids like his own. A brother-in-law who looks just like you and sometimes jerks me off during movie nights.”

Avi laughed at that, his chest rumbling under Felix’s palm.

“We have two gorgeous children…because of you. I’m someone’s father. Like, I’m a dad. That’s wild. We never have to worry about money. I get to design clothes for celebrities. I’m living a life so charmed people joke there had to be a crossroads demon involved. But life turns on a dime. I forget that sometimes. Until someone like Kyle comes along and reminds me how quickly the rug can get yanked out from under me.”

“That’s never going to happen,” Avi said firmly. “Asa, Zane, and I will always be here. Oscar and West will always be here.”

He tangled his fingers in Felix’s hair and tugged him down gently. Their mouths met, Felix relaxing into the kiss, opening for him the second Avi’s tongue traced the seam of his lips. The slow press of it unraveled him, steady and certain, like Avi was reminding him wordlessly, I’ve got you. Always.

“I wish that night in the cabin had been our first time,” Avi admitted. “You deserved better.”

“I liked my first time. It was hot. Wild. I’ll never forget it. I jerked off thinking about it for days. Sometimes twice a day,” Felix confessed, catching Avi’s lips between words, his body flushed and warm. “But if you want to recreate that night in the cabin, I’d say yes in a heartbeat.”

“I would never say no to that, kitten,” Avi said, bumping their noses together. “Uh, lube?”

Felix smacked a kiss onto his mouth, then braced on Avi’s chest to stand, making his husband grunt. “I’ll get it. You take your pants off.”

“Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel special,” Avi teased, already shoving his pants and underwear down his legs.

Felix retrieved the lube from the drawer in his office, dropping it into the pile of fur and fabrics before sliding out of the thin linen pants he’d paired with Avi’s old middle school St. Aggie’s jersey.

“Blue really is your color, kitten. Keep my shirt on. You’re obscene like this.”

Once, the thought of Avi Mulvaney seeing him in nothing but a crop top would have sent Felix spiraling. Now, he only smiled, straddling Avi’s lap, leaning in to kiss him as their cocks dragged slick and hot against each other.

Avi sat up, bringing Felix with him. When Felix reached for the lube, Avi slapped his hand away. “Uh-uh. I get to open you up.”

Felix trembled as Avi slicked his fingers, the weight of the moment–this deliberate recreation–making him more emotional than before. His breath caught when Avi skimmed over his rim, circling but not breaching.

“Kiss me, kitten,” Avi murmured. “You remember.”

Felix remembered everything. He pressed their mouths together, sliding his tongue past Avi’s lips just as Avi breached him, two fingers pushing in deep, letting him swallow his desperate cry.

“Fuck, you’re still so open from earlier, when I finger-fucked you on Kirk’s desk,” Avi groaned against his mouth.

“Kyle,” Felix corrected, breathless.

“Whatever,” Avi said dismissively, curling his fingers until Felix arched into him, whimpering. He set a rhythm, deep enough to stretch, not enough to satisfy.

“I’m ready,” Felix whispered. He grabbed the lube, slicking Avi’s cock and stroking himself, too, shivering at the obscene slide. When Avi pulled his fingers free, Felix rose onto his knees, wrapping his fist around the thick base of Avi’s cock.

It always felt like too much, that first push, the blunt pressure almost painful until his body yielded. He let gravity take him, sinking slow and steady until Avi was buried to the hilt. They groaned in unison, the sound low and desperate.

“God, kitten…” Avi’s hands clamped to his hips, trembling with restraint. “I swear you were made for me.”

While sex was always exciting the first time, Felix preferred this. He knew just how to move, how to roll his hips, exactly how far to lift to make Avi lose his mind.

“Fuck. You feel so good. So tight. I’ve been thinking about this for hours.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Felix panted, arms curled around Avi’s neck.

“We were a little busy freeze-drying someone,” Avi reminded him, before swearing and driving upward just as Felix sank down.

Felix couldn’t stop the cry that ripped from his throat when Avi struck his prostate. He did it again, then once more, before letting Felix take the lead. It only took minutes for his thighs to start shaking, muscles burning.

“Tired, kitten?” Avi murmured.

Felix nodded.

“Wrap those pretty legs around my waist.”

Felix obeyed, clinging tight. Without the strength of his legs beneath him, Avi sank even deeper, drawing out a broken whine. Avi’s arms locked around his back, holding him close, but instead of pistoning into him like usual, Avi buried his face in Felix’s throat and just…ground into him.

It shouldn’t have felt this good. It shouldn’t have had Felix clinging, whimpering, unraveling with every shallow roll of Avi’s hips. But every subtle drag across his prostate lit him up, sparks skittering down his spine until he was trembling.

They’d had sex countless times. Felix had thought there was nothing left for them to try. He was wrong. They’d never done this, just holding each other, rocking slow, like getting off wasn’t even the point.

Felix buried his face in Avi’s neck, hiding his tears, even though he knew Avi could feel them. He couldn’t help it. He was a live wire, a bundle of raw nerves, and this wasn’t just sex. This was Avi inside him, Avi around him, Avi everywhere, holding him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

He didn’t know when he’d started moving with him, grinding down every time Avi rolled up, but soon Felix’s broken cries matched Avi’s low groans, both panting, lost to the slow burn. His cock was trapped between their bodies, the friction relentless, driving him closer without even needing to touch himself.

Part of him wanted to stay like this forever, suspended in the ache, riding the edge. But his body betrayed him, chasing release.

“I’m getting close,” Felix panted.

“Oh, thank fuck. Me too,” Avi growled.

Avi tipped him back, lowering him gently onto his back without slipping free, folding Felix’s legs to his chest, keeping him close as he began thrusting in short, relentless strokes that made Felix moan obscenely.

“Oh, fuck. Don’t stop. I’m…fuck…I’m right there. Harder, baby. Please,” Felix begged shamelessly.

“Touch yourself,” Avi ordered, his voice frayed. “I want you to come with me inside you.”

Felix whined but wrapped his fist around his cock. Three desperate strokes and he shattered, crying out as he spilled hot over his stomach. Avi’s eyes rolled back, his rhythm breaking, only a few more thrusts before he groaned, grinding deep as he came, holding Felix like he never wanted to let him go.

Felix clung to him, chest heaving, every nerve alive. He wasn’t just full of Avi, he was wrecked, loved, claimed. Exactly where he belonged.

Felix couldn’t feel him come, but sometimes he wished he could. Avi gently set his legs down on either side of him, chest heaving as he stared down with a grin.

Felix grinned back. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve gone twice in one day without Zaney or Asa tapping in.”

“True. This was perfect though. No?”

“Absolutely. I’d say we should just sleep here, but I think your employees have been scarred enough by our sex life.”

“It’s not my employees, it’s Valencia’s delicate little flowers who act all scandalized, like they’ve never seen two naked people before.”

Avi laughed. “To be fair to that one poor girl, I don’t think she expected to find you bent over your desk with my tongue in your ass.”

Felix smirked. “At this point, we might need to start mentioning it in the job interviews.”

“I can’t even imagine how fast that would get back to the press,” Avi said.

“Not as fast as my other idea,” Felix said.

Avi grinned. “Which is?” 

“OnlyFans,” he said without missing a beat. 

“And here I thought only Zaney had an exhibitionism kink.” 

“You should know better by now. “Felix yawned, soft and satisfied. “Speaking of, I wanna go home and sleep with him.”

Avi reached for Felix’s pants, finally pulling out. Felix grimaced at the loss, Avi’s release leaking out of him. He shook his head, embarrassed at how Avi’s gaze lingered, hungry even in the aftermath. Felix nudged him in the ribs with his toes. “I said I want to go home.”

“Okay, okay,” Avi grumbled, still grinning. “I’ll grab the wet wipes from your desk drawer.”

They cleaned each other up in comfortable silence, redressing with lazy, satisfied movements.

“Do you want me to film it when I fire Ken tomorrow afternoon?” Avi asked, glancing at the clock. “Well, technically today.”

“You know his name is Kyle,” Felix said with an eye roll. “And of course I do. I want sound as well.”

“Yes, kitten,” Avi said warmly, kissing his temple.

Felix smiled, his chest loosening. “Let’s go home to our babies. All of them.”