Adam in Suburbia - Feelings Faction Group Chat (Patreon)

Unbeta'd/Unedited

Coe: The infection is spreading 🧬

Jericho knew starting this group chat would devolve into a shit show but he had to do something. Adam was convincing Atticus that the neighborhood was run by some secret cabal of geriatric cult members or something. When Atticus didn’t have his head stuck in a book about the omegaverse-like now-he was at Adam’s listening to him ramble in front of a whiteboard like that ‘aliens’ meme guy. 

Noah: Then you should probably see a doctor? 

Jericho rolled his eyes. He knew they wouldn’t take this seriously enough. 

Felix: Aren’t you married to a doctor?

Coe: I’m talking about Adam and his weird obsession with the neighborhood. He’s turning my husband into a lunatic. 

Noah: What did Adam do now?

Jericho relaxed. Maybe Noah would take this seriously after all. Wasn’t it him who started this whole thingin the first place, begging the family for help. Though the family had made fun of him. But only a little. Well, compared to other conversations. 

Coe: I just found out that Freckles has been going to your house every Wednesday night. 

Noah: So what? Wednesday is trivia night for Felix, Zane and I. I think its nice that Adam and Atticus are finally getting along. 

Noah: Though, admittedly, it is weird that I found them in his closet together. 

Zane: God, I hope that’s not a metaphor for something. 🙈

Coe: This isn’t funny. 

Felix: It’s a little funny. 

Coe: How long before its your husbands meeting up in Adam’s closet. 

Zane: This is by far our most insane group chat moment to date. What are we even saying? Why is Adam in the closet with Atticus?

Lucas: What’s happening now?

Felix: Near as we can tell Atticus and Adam are in the closet together or something?

Lucas: Whose closet? What? Is that code for something? Last I checked, the Mulvaney closets had all been cleared. 

Noah: Coe is upset because Atticus and Adam are playing nicely together. 

Coe: No, Coe is mad because Adam has infected my husband with his paranoia about this neighborhood being filled with murderers. 

Zane: I mean…

Coe: Not funny. Non-Mulvaney murderers. 

Felix: Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?

Coe: 🖕

Noah: Are you alright, Jericho? You seem stressed. 

Felix: Guarantee this is all because Freckles refused him sex like one time and now he’s unraveling. 

Zane: OMG. Is that it? Did Freckles refuse to put out?

Coe: Im not dignifying that with an answer. 

Noah: Come on. It seems harmless. Like bonding time. Adam and Atticus have always had a complicated relationship. They’re finally getting along. 

Lucas: Noah’s right. What’s the harm in them playing armchair detectives?

Coe: Will you be saying that when its your husband?

Lucas: August would never. But if he did, I wouldn’t care. 

Coe: Are you sure? Because if Adam turns August, he gets all of them. 

Noah: Turns them? Like vampires? 🧛

Zane: Why does that vampire kind of look like Adam?

Coe: Lucas. You have to back me up here. The only two rational Mulvaney’s are my husband and yours. If August caves, we’re gonna lose the twins, too. If they somehow convince Aiden this nonsense is real, we’re all cooked. 

Noah: Cooked? 😭 You’re spending too much time with your older kids.

Felix: What’s the problem, big brother? I thought you wanted Freckles happy? Does he seem unhappy?

Jericho huffed out an angry breath through his nose. Staring at his husband who currently had his nose in a book in the plush armchair across from him. Another book. Atticus glanced up like he could feel Jericho’s stare. 

“What?” Atticus asked. 

Jericho forced himself to smile. “Nothing. Just looking at my husband. I’m allowed to do that, right?” 

Atticus gave him a barely there smile and a suspicious side-eye then stood, crossing to the couch to lie down and put his head in Jericho’s lap, before returning to read. Did he know he held Jericho’s beating heart in his fist every single day? Doubtful. He'd be far more smug if he did.

He reached down and cupped Atticus’s cheek, cock twitching when their eyes met again. 

He forced himself to look away, back to the conversation at hand.

Coe: He seems distracted.

Felix: Ohhh. So you’re just mad you have to share your favorite toy. Got it.

Coe: That’s not it. We have more important things to focus on besides this telenovela Adam is selling my husband. 

Zane: More important like what?

Noah: Yeah, what’s going on? Everything okay? Are the kids alright?

Coe: The kids are fine. 

Should he tell them the truth? Why not? It was bound to get out soon anyway.

Coe: We’re just trying to find an egg donor.

Felix: WHAT!?!?!?!??!

Coe: We want to try for a little girl. Atticus wants a baby. We agreed to use him as the bio dad but he is insistent on finding someone with the same background as me for the egg donor and, as you can imagine, finding someone specifically with Chinese/Mexican ethnicity isn’t exactly easy. Or cheap.

Felix: Good thing you’re married to a literal billionaire. 

Zane: Why not just adopt again? 

Coe: We haven’t ruled it out, but you know how hard it is to get infants. I think Freckles really wants to raise a baby. 

Noah: It was that omegaverse book, huh? 🤔

Lucas: I’m sorry. The what?

Coe: Nothing. 🤬

Noah: My husband gave Freckles a gay romance that was a poly omegaverse novel. I’m guessing it was a hit. I knew Freckles would be into 🫃.

Felix: What fresh hell is this? I looked away for two seconds and now we’re discussing omegaverse? In the same chat as my brother?

Noah: Well since its your brother currently attempting to knock up Freckles it seemed pertinant. 

Lucas: I don’t know how to tell you this, Coe, but you’re not gonna be able to put a bun in that particular oven. No matter how much you practice.

Felix: 🤦 I don’t want to know that Freckles is an omega. 

Noah: Oh, he’s such an omega. A dominant one too. Probably goes into heat and brings the whole neighborhood to the yard. 

Jericho’s cock twitched as he looked down at Atticus whose head currently sat just above his thickening length. Fuck. He really would be the perfect omega. 

Lucas: So that means Jericho is an alpha? 

Noah: A dominant alpha for sure. 

Coe: 😏

Zane: What about me?

Felix: omega, sweetie.

Coe: 💯 

Lucas: No question

Noah: Facts. 

Zane: I actually like the idea of being an omega. ☺️

Felix: You should see his face right now. He’s so proud. 

Noah: He should be. I’d kill to be an omega but I’m probably a beta. Sigh. 

Lucas: Me too. 

Noah: August is a beta. Or maybe a recessive alpha. But alphas and omegas usually have gifts and abilities. You could be a sleeper. But you don’t give alpha. Maybe dominant omega? 

Lucas: Thanks. It would be nice to live in a world where my skills weren’t considered weird but just a normal part of society. 

How had he already lost control of the conversation?

Coe: What is happening here? This isn’t at all the point of the conversation. 

Noah: What? You started it.

“Who are you texting so frantically?” Atticus murmured, not looking up from his book. 

Jericho brushed a lock of red hair off his forehead. “Just the kids.” 

He frowned, tilting his book to look at him. “Everything okay?” 

Jericho gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Yeah, just the usual.” 

Atticus studied him for a moment, then went back to his book. 

Jericho couldn’t stop himself from slipping a hand under his husband’s shirt, fingers tracing the grooves of his belly absently as he typed with his other hand. 

Coe: No, I asked you to stop your husband from infecting my husband with his paranoia. I didn’t ask for anyone’s input on Freckles newly found reading material. 

Felix: The word your looking for is kink. shudder 🤢

Coe: Do you think I wanted to know that you and your husband have a sex attic? No. You can deal with knowing my husband likes omegaverse. 

Noah: Has he read others? Tell him to send me any good recs. 

Coe: He’s still pouting over the other one ending on a cliffhanger. He said the author writes too slowly and he hates waiting for the next book. 

Coe: Wait. That’s not the point. Stop distracting me. Lock in. 

Zane: I’m fully locked in. What about Archer? 👀 Do you think he gives alpha?

Lucas: Only if you would classify Jack Sparrow as an alpha.

Noah: Jack Sparrow is an omega. I’d bet my life on it. 

Zane: So does that mean Archer’s an omega?

Felix: You’re having too much fun with this, baby. But I could see Archer as a beta. Mac is definitely an alpha. All the way. 

Noah: Aiden too. 

Felix: Would I be an omega? Do I give off omega vibes? 💅🏽

Zane: Not to me. You’re pretty dominant. 🥹

Noah: Everyone is dominant next to you, Zaney. 

Noah: Except Freckles. 😂

Zane: 😭 

Noah: That’s a good thing. We like you that way. 

Felix: He’s right. 

Zane: 🫶🏻

 Zane: Felix definitely gives alpha vibes. But a soft alpha. What would that be?

Noah: I’d say a recessive alpha or dominant omega. Or you could be stuck in the beta category like us.

Zane: Asa is definitely an alpha. A dominant one at that. Right?

Felix: Oh, for sure. 

Noah: I don’t know. Asa is so alpha he might be an enigma. If anyone could knock up another alpha it would be him. Just sayin’. 

Jericho now knew far too much about his brothers in law. All of them. 

Lucas: Would make Avi an enigma by default? How would that work with mirror twins?

Noah: In Teen Wolf the identical twins could morph into one giant werewolf. Maybe combined Asa & Avi make one massive enigma? 

Zane: Oof. They’re already too big just by themselves. 

Kill me now. 

Felix: Too big? I’ve never heard you say something was ‘too big’ before, you size queen. 

Zane: 💃🏼

Noah: *They’re? Zaney, did you just out yourself? Are you finally admitting you’ve done a side by side comparison? 

Felix: They weren’t so much side by side as facing each other with Zaney in the middle. 

Seriously? Kill me now. 

He was going to have to bleach his eyeballs after this conversation. 

Noah: Now I’m never gonna stop picturing Zaney getting eiffel towered by the twins. 

Felix: You should have seen little Ever’s face when Zaney got hammered and told that story. It was like Christmas had come early.

Noah: Bet it wasn’t the only thing that came early that night. 

Coe: Please, for the love of God can we get back to the plague overtaking our family?

Zane: Is it your lack of a sense of humor?

Felix: Zaney’s right. Why are you being such a drama queen? Adam gave your husband porn and taught him he had an mpreg kink. Which sounds like it dovetails nicely with your breeding kink. 🤮 Sounds like you should be grateful. Ugh, I should kill you for even making me type that. 

Coe: Kill Adam. Its his fault. It’s always his fault. 

Lucas: Does the idea of Adam and Atticus becoming closer upset you? Are you just feeling abandoned?

This is what happens when there’s a therapist in the family. 

“Why are you breathing so heavily?” Atticus asked, pressing his head to Jericho’s belly. 

“I’m not?” Jericho said. 

“No, you are. Normally, I’d just assume you were horny but you said you’re talking to the kids so…” 

He wanted to defend himself but the truth would sound far more damning. “I’m good. I promise. And I’m always horny when you’re head is in my lap and you’re reading porn.” 

“Well, maybe when I finish this chapter, I can help you out?” Atticus said, like he was offering to take out the trash. 

Jericho was fully hard and there was no way Atticus couldn’t feel it. “Tease.” 

“Go back to your conversation,” Atticus said. 

Coe: Don’t psychoanalyze me. I just see the writing on the wall. If August falls, we lose all of them. This is a code red situation.

Noah: Which one of you is psychic again? 

Atticus snapped his book shut. Somehow sitting up then sliding to his knees between Jericho’s thighs with a grace Jericho didn’t know he possessed. He was already reaching for Jericho’s button and zipper. 

Coe: Forget it. I tried to warn you. I’m out. 

Just before he closed his phone he saw Noah’s final message. 

Noah: You think Thomas is a beta?

Christ.