Lunatic - Necessary Evils #6 - Ch. 9 (Patreon)

This has not been through full edits yet, so please ignore any mistakes. Enjoy.

Chapter 9

Archer

Thomas’s car was waiting on the tarmac when they touched down. Archer did his best to ignore the ache in his head, but slid his sunglasses in place in a poor attempt to avoid the shock of the UV light on his already throbbing eyeballs. He really wished he wasn’t having this conversation with his father while hungover, but he could almost hear Thomas telling him if he didn’t like the situation, then he shouldn’t have gotten drunk in the first place.

When Mac grabbed Archer’s hand and threaded their fingers together as they left the plane, he didn’t pull away. Mac seemed nervous. He had a right to be. The problem was, Mac was likely worrying about all the wrong things. He was worried about the wrath of Thomas, but that wouldn’t fall on Mac. That was all on Archer.

What Mac should have worried about was meeting the other Mulvaney’s. That would be a trial by fire. One Mac seemed certain he could handle. But that was because he had experience with Shep. But Shep was one high functioning sociopath. The Mulvaney’s were an army of overbearingly invasive psychopaths who had zero boundaries when it came to hazing new family members. They could be overwhelming in large numbers.

But if they were going to run target acquisition for a school for psychopathic Gen Z’s this was as good a test as any. Boone. Shit. He needed to at least text the man and apologize for them running off like that and missing a meeting. He didn’t want any conflict within the instructors before they even started. The most important thing about the Watch was ensuring a united front. Psychopaths were excellent at finding chinks in armor and exploiting them. But that was a problem for another day.

The driver waiting outside the car, rushed to open the limo door as soon as they were close. Archer crawled in first, eyes going wide when he realized his father wasn’t alone. Mac fell into the seat behind him, his face falling. How had Molly Shepherd beat them both to Thomas?

“Mom,” Mac said with a stilted nod. “When did you get here?”

Though she was older than Thomas, Mac’s mother looked shockingly young when she wasn’t dressed for business meetings. She currently wore jeans, a sweater and a pair of well worn converse sneakers, her red hair flowing over her shoulders.

Sitting beside Thomas with his tailored dress pants and zip front cashmere pullover, she looked almost like a college student. Archer wasn’t sure if it was genetics or a good plastic surgeon but given how Mac was aging like fine wine, Archer imagined it was the former.

Molly gave him a grim look. “Three hours after this hit the news feed and Katie gleefully called me asking if I’d heard from you and then letting me know that I’d apparently inherited another son-in-law overnight.” Molly examined Archer. “ I have to admit, I honestly wasn’t sure you’d ever get married. I certainly didn’t see you settling down with a Mulvaney.”

Archer could feel Mac deflate beside him. “Sorry.”

“What were you two thinking?” Thomas asked, shaking his head. “Do you have any idea the shit storm this has caused?”

Archer still wasn’t sure what the big deal was? In the grand scheme of his past hijinks, this probably didn’t even make the top ten. He didn’t understand why the rest of the world would even give a shit that he or Mac were married.

“I get that it caused a stir because the media thought it was Jaynie, but I don’t get what the big deal is? We’re adults. We’re legally allowed to marry each other,” Mac said, like he was reading Archer’s mind. “Like, who cares?”

“Given my many other ‘drunken’ escapades, this one seems fairly innocuous, no?” Archer asked, his hand sliding over Mac’s and squeezing without thought.

Molly and Thomas both appeared to hone in on the gesture as a single unit, before looking at each other. When Archer tried to remove his hand, Mac held firm, manipulating their arms until their fingers were once more intertwined.

“Have-” Molly cut herself off, looking once more at Thomas, then back again. “Have you actually been…dating?”

Archer looked to Mac who flushed straight to the tips of his ears. He’d never seen Mac embarrassed before. It was weirdly adorable. When Archer continued to look at him, he shrugged like he was telling Archer he wasn’t touching the question.

Archer sighed. “We’ve been…seeing each other for months. We just didn’t want to put a label on it.”

That wasn’t entirely the truth but Archer didn’t think it was necessary to tell their parents he’d been letting Mac bang him like a screen door in a hurricane. It didn’t seem conducive to furthering discussions.

Still, Molly scrutinized her son. “Is this true?”

Mac leaned his weight against Archer. “Yeah. We’ve been—close—since the first time we met for the initial Project Watchtower meeting.”

About as close as two people could be. Though technically, they’d met the evening before, with neither of them having no idea who the other person was. But that hardly seemed relevant. Truthfully, none of this seemed relevant. Mac and Archer were grown men. He didn’t see how this was really anybody else’s business. But he didn’t say any of that.

“What do you need us to do?” Archer asked. “To fix this?”

“I suppose that depends on whether this wedding was intentional.” Thomas grimaced. “Based on the numerous encounters and videos floating around the internet, it appears you two were completely…”

“Hammered,” Molly finished.

“That,” Thomas agreed. “Do you intend to stay married or are you looking to have this annulled? The attorney says we can have it done in—?”

“No annulment,” Mac said, voice firm. “I’ll sign a prenup or whatever you want, but that’s it.”

Archer looked at Mac, shock rocketing through him at the conviction in his voice. Their parents seemed equally stunned. Had Mac been thinking that Thomas or Molly might demand they annul the marriage? That just wasn’t Thomas’s style. Once people knew their secret, Thomas would prefer they were tied to the family for life. Of course, Mac had always known their secret, so the circumstances were much different.

“Archer?” Thomas asked.

The best thing they could do for each other was get this annulled. they knew next to nothing about each other in the grand scheme of things. Archer didn’t know Mac’s favorite color. Hell, they’d never even slept in the same bed together sober. The smartest thing they could do was annul the marriage and just date. See if they were compatible. See if Mac could handle living a double life with Archer. Noah always said marrying a Mulvaney was a full-time job. It came with constant lies, cover-ups, lying to cops, lying to everybody. But being married to Archer required that Mac also know how to lie to his brothers for him. That was a lot to ask of someone without first warning them.

Still, when he opened his mouth to say as much, what came out was, “Yeah, what he said. We’re not getting divorced.”

Thomas rubbed his bottom lip a moment like he was deep in thought.

“Okay, then,” Thomas said as if the matter was settled. “I’ll contact the publicist and let her know that this wasn’t a drunken fluke, that the two of you have been dating for a while and are very much in love. I’ll say you met on a trip to Vegas months ago, and have been dating ever since. Now that the world knows you haven’t absconded with the husband of an A-list celebrity, it will likely die down quickly. But that’s only one of the problems we’re dealing with right now.”

Molly nodded. “Yes, obviously the primary matter now is the watch. Kendrick has some concerns about the two of you heading the project as a married couple. He’s thinks it will effect your judgment.”

“I don’t see how?” Mac asked. “As we said, we’ve been together for months and it hasn’t effected our ability to do our job. Our constant arguing is part of the reason its taking forever to nail down the staffing and first year attendees.”

Archer nodded. “I’m honestly surprised Boone hasn’t tried to shoot one or both of us by now.”

Molly appeared to mull it over. Finally nodding. “I’ll smooth things over with Kendrick, but it's likely going to cost me something. He never misses an opportunity to try to force his way deeper into the project.”

“How do you plan on handling this with your brothers?” Thomas asked.

Archer frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how are you planning on explaining your surprise husband to them? As far as they knew, you were single. Not a word of Mac this whole time. Now you’re married. Telling them this is a drunken fluke seems disrespectful if you intend to stay married. Do you plan on keeping the same cover story you’re telling the rest of the world? You’ve been dating in secret since meeting in Vegas?”

Archer truly didn’t care what his brothers’ thought or why he even needed to explain it to them, but he nodded. “I’ll tell them whatever you like.”

Molly and Thomas looked at each other like they had several more questions for the two of them, but then Molly sighed. “Then I guess we can move on to the most important issue.” She looked at her son. “The one you’ve been ignoring for months. We need to figure out who it is that wants you dead and why. And we somehow have to do it in less than a week.”

###

Thomas and Molly insisted on stopping for lunch at a well known restaurant in the area, letting Archer and Mac know it was for the cameras so they better play their parts. Looking hungover and in love was easy enough for Archer. He was pretty sure he was both. Though he had no idea what the latter felt like or if he were truly even capable of such a thing.

Either way, by the time they made it to the mansion, some of Mac’s stress seemed to have dissipated, with his shoulders no longer sitting up around his ears.

Thomas escorted Molly to the war room while Mac and Archer lingered behind.

“Are you alright?” Archer asked, once they were out of ear shot.

Mac sighed. “I’m fine. Just hungover. And tired of feeling like I’m being hunted. Nothing about this makes any sense.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Archer promised,  smacking a kiss on the back of Mac’s hand, before dragging him along to catch up with their parents, refusing to look back to see what Mac had thought of Archer’s impulsive gesture.

He stopped short inside the war room, Mac plowing into him hard enough to have to wrap his arms around him to send him pitching forward. Archer didn’t care about that.

He was focused on the room. The entire family sat inside. All of them. Well, not Aiden but he’d stopped calling them his family a while ago. But everybody else was in attendance…even Cricket. What the hell?

There wasn’t a single empty seat. Zane and Felix sat cross-legged on top of the conference room table along with Cricket. Noah sat in Adam’s lap. The others had their own seats but had been forced to crowd together to make sure everybody fit around the large surface. This was going to be a goddamn circus.

“What are you all doing here?” Thomas asked warily. “I didn’t call a meeting.”

“We know,” Noah said. “That’s why we’re so suspicious.”

Thomas eyed Noah. “Why would I need to call a meeting?”

Noah gave Thomas an incredulous look, but it was Asa who spoke. “Archer just married a stranger via Elvis impersonator without a prenup, one would think that would at least get us an invite to the mansion for a cover story party. But you haven't contacted a single soul.”

“Yeah, when Felix and I got blood all over that hotel room, there was a meeting,” Avi reminded him.

“And when I kidnapped Zane and chained him to the radiator,” Asa said.

“Or when August decided to break into Lucas’s house and stab himself…conversations were had. Why does he get a free pass?” Noah asked.

Molly Shepherd took a step closer to her son as if worried they’d been lured there as some sort of human sacrifice, but Mac simply looked amused. “Sounds like our wedding was nothing compared to your family’s bizarre courting rituals,” Mac murmured.

Thomas made a disgusted noise. “How did you all even know we’d be here?” When nobody spoke, Thomas’s gaze floated to the speaker in the center of the table. “Calliope?”

There was a moment's hesitation, then a meek, “Yeah?”

“Did you tell them we’d be here for a meeting?” Thomas asked.

Calliope made a noncommittal sound. “I…may have mentioned it?”

Thomas shook his head. “Archer and Mac have been dating for months. They just made it official sooner than expected.”

“So you knew they were dating?” Atticus asked, tilting his head and studying Thomas like he studied a slide under a microscope.

“Yeah, of course. Molly and I both did.”

“Is she Molly?” Zane asked, pointing.

Thomas flushed, realizing his error. “Allow me to introduce Mac's mother, Molly Shepherd.”

“Dr. Molly Shepherd?” Avi asked.

“The psychopath whisperer,” Lucas said, sounding slightly enamored of her.

“I thought I was the psychopath whisperer,” Noah said grumpily.

“You are,” Adam assured him, smacking a kiss on his cheek.

Archer watched as August nudged Lucas, giving a slight head jerk in the woman’s direction. Lucas lurched to his feet, crossing the room and offering the woman his hand.

Before Molly could offer hers in return, Archer slapped his brother’s hand away. “Don’t touch him. It’s a trap. He’s just going to try to weasel his way into your head and poke around a bit.”

“Oh, you must be Lucas, the psychic,” she said, not unkindly.

He nodded. “Nice to meet you.” To Archer, he said, “I wouldn’t poke around in a stranger's head without permission.”

Archer gave him a look. “You would if August asked you to.”

Lucas flushed, but said nothing, hurrying back to the seat beside his husband. Fucking busted. This wasn’t a family meeting it was a fucking ambush and he and Mac were pinned down.

“Now that introductions have been made,” Thomas said. “You can all go home. Bye.”

Nobody moved. Asa and Avi crossed their arms over their chests in an eerily syncopated manner, but nobody spoke, everybody appearing to size each other up .

Finally Atticus said, “Yeah, no. I think we should stay. We have more questions. A lot more.”

Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, before schooling his features into a patient look. “Such as?”

“Such as how Archer came to be married to the son of a woman who studies psychopaths for a living?” August asked.

“Yeah, that seems like one helluva coincidence,” Cricket said.

Thomas’s gaze darted to Archer. Was this what Thomas had truly worried about? Somehow it hadn’t occurred to Archer that Molly Shepherd would be the weakest link in his chain of lies. Not that it was her fault. But her mere existence made the entire story implausible.

Had that been why Thomas had brought her there in the first place? Was this all part of some lesser known master plan of his? How the fuck was Archer going to keep this up now? It was easier when it was just him and Thomas. They’d been playing this game for so long that it no longer felt unnatural, but lying to his family—forcing Mac to lie to Archer’s family—was just one more variable to track. Fuck.

“How exactly did you two meet?” Jericho asked.

“Yeah, tell us about this love connection,” Felix prodded, dropping his elbows on his knees and leaning in.

“Vegas. We both happened to be there at the same time,” Mac said. “We met in a bar off the strip. He was hitting on some baby-faced boy with a lip ring and I couldn’t resist. Luckily, he found me more interesting.”

It was the truth. That was how they met. It just wasn’t the whole truth. But it was hopefully close enough to appease the family bloodlust for the moment.

“Something isn’t adding up,” Zane said, looking back and forth between them.

Or not. Shit. This was what happened when they let crime reporters into the family.

“Yeah, I call bullshit,” Adam said.

The others all nodded their heads, looking around the room as if to confirm their suspicions. Archer could feel his irritation turning to anger. He never interfered in their business. Ever. He might mock it if they invited him in, but he never went and sought out information not freely given. This overt invasion into his personal life was grating on his nerves.

Hands sank into the back pockets of his pants, pulling him back against him. Archer allowed it, leaning his back against Mac’s chest, letting him hook his chin over his shoulder.

“Woah,” Noah whispered, staring at the two of them. “This is surreal.”

“He looks like he’s in love,” Zane said to Felix.

“He does,” Felix agreed. “He also looks sober though so it's hard to tell.”

“Enough,” Thomas said, holding up a hand. “I think it's time to tell you all the truth.”

Archer startled at that, eyeing his father warily. “What do you mean?”

Atticus gave him a sharp look. “What do you mean? What does he mean? Don’t you know? I feel like we’re all in dress rehearsal and nobody even has the script. What is going on with you guys today?”

Archer’s heart thudded against his ribcage, but he deferred to Thomas. Not quite ready to divulge all his secrets without reason. He closed his eyes briefly, focusing on the warmth of Mac’s body bleeding into his.

When he opened his eyes, Thomas was on the other side of the conference table, his hands braced on the solid oak. “I think I need to explain how Molly and I know each other.”

“We know her research inspired this project.” Asa said. “But that doesn’t track with Archer and Mac’s meet-cute.”

Avi nodded. “It can’t possibly be a coincidence that they were in the same bar in Vegas and that their parents not only know each other but also happen to be in the psychopath business. It doesn’t track.”

“Well, I will explain it if you could all shut up for just thirty seconds,” Thomas said, giving them each a stern look.

Archer watched as several pouting faces emerged. None of them like having their hand slapped by Thomas.

When they all quieted down, Thomas sighed. “For the last several years, Molly and I have been working with the government on Project Watchtower.”

“Project Watchtower?” Noah echoed, looking to the others, who all either shrugged or said nothing. “What’s Project Watchtower?”

“It’s a highly-controversial, top secret project that takes my study of you boys and scales it to a national level, only this time with the goal of creating deep cover operatives to eliminate global security threats,” Thomas said.

“You’re training baby psychopaths to be assassins,” Atticus asked, giving his father a hard stare.

“It’s far more in depth than all that, but that is how Archer and Mac know each other. So if that clears things up, you’re all dismissed. Unless you’d like to stay and help figure out who is attempting to kill our most recent family member.”

“That clears nothing up,” August said, coolly. “Why does Archer know about this project but the rest of us do not, including Noah, your successor? Do Archer and Mac both work for the project? And if Archer does know about it, which he clearly does, why does only Archer know? Why not tell the rest of us?”

“Because he’s in on it,” Avi said, like a light bulb had just gone off. Archer gave him a look of surprise, which only seemed to further Avi’s suspicions. “All those trips to Vegas where you claimed you had games, but yet there was no record of you going, but also no target to eliminate. You’ve been working for Dad off-book on this project.”

“That makes no fucking sense. Archer is drunk more than he’s sober and drunk Archer can’t be trusted.” Atticus said.

“Okay, that’s not tr—” Archer started.

Atticus cut him off. “Archer once stole a super yacht. He kidnapped a monkey worth a hundred thousand dollars. He stumbled on stage during a Broadway show. His criminal record alone wouldn’t allow him the security clearance necessary to be a parking lot attendant at the Bellagio much less a government asset.”

“You stole a monkey?” Mac asked, amused.

“It’s a long story, darling,” Archer said, reaching back to pat his cheek.

“Why would you even want Archer  on a project like that? Aiden’s closer to Vegas than any of us and, while he’s an asshole, he’s not a drunk,” Jericho said, before looking at Archer and saying, “No offense.”

Archer waved an arm. “Oh, none taken.”

“This project has been under way for several years, as I’ve said. At the time, Aiden was barely speaking to the family. Archer was the next best thing. His gambling allowed for him to be in darkened back rooms without drawing suspicion. That’s all there was to it.”

“You still haven’t told us how Archer managed to get clearance with a record,” Adam said.

“Or how Mac is involved,” Cricket said.

Felix held up a finger. “Or how someone whose blood is eighty proof manages to complete any kind of task efficiently enough to warrant a job training spies.”

“Wow,” Archer said, a sense of calm washing over him as Mac slid his arms around his waist. “I’ll remind all of you that I bring home more per year than any of you.”

“Yeah, by gambling,” Asa said, like Archer was a loan shark or something.

Adam flicked his gaze upwards, his expression pissy. “You showed up at our house last week wearing two different shoes.”

“It was a fashion statement,” Archer countered, exhausted.

“And why wouldn’t you tell me about this project?” Noah asked Thomas, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Because you weren’t ready yet,” Thomas said with a smile he saved only for Noah.

“But Archer is?” Noah blurted. “He’s literally shit-faced 24/7.”

“Rude,” Archer muttered. “Why am I the asshole here?”

“I’m sorry, but it's true,” Noah said, his voice ratcheting higher with each word. “None of you are making any sense at all. None. Not you. Not Mac. Not this project.”

“Noah, you’re getting worked up for nothing,” Thomas said patiently.

Noah’s mouth fell open. “Nothing? You said you don’t keep secrets from me. You said I was like your son. You said you trusted me the most. You are the level-headed one. You are the one that drives home how we always do the right thing, make the right call, never falter in our commitments. There’s no fucking way you’d trust Archer with something this big unless…” Suddenly, Noah’s eyes went wide and he looked at Archer accusingly.

“Unless what?” Adam asked.

Noah continued to stare at him, and Archer watched in real time as his brother’s fiance let the pieces drop into place. “Unless you’re faking it.”

“Faking what?” Zane asked.

“Drinking,” Noah spit, jaw thrust forward.

“Our carpet says otherwise,” Adam reminded him with a smirk.

But Noah didn’t laugh or smile or say a word. He was locked on Archer, gaze boring into him with laser focus. Archer’s skin grew hot as tears sprung to his brother-in-law's eyes. Christ. Why was he so upset? No, not upset. Betrayed.

Silence fell on the room as everybody seemed to process Noah’s accusation. His brother’s looked nonplussed, but their wheels were clearly turning over the idea. Felix and Zane looked more scandalized than anything. But it was Noah—and now by extension Adam—who looked furious. And hurt.

“That can’t possibly be true,” Felix said. “Like that would be insane. Who fakes being a raging alcoholic for years?”

“Deep cover operatives,” Noah seethed.

“I’m not a deep cover anything, Noah. I’m just me,” Archer lied.

The look on their faces made it clear nobody believed him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Just tell them the truth,” Mac whispered in his ear. “Nobody’s buying your story anyway. Better to just rip off the band-aid.”

Archer closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. “Fine. I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t really even drink alcohol except when put on the spot…or when I want to get married by an Elvis impersonator, I guess.”

The tears in Noah’s eyes spilled over down his cheeks. “Wow.” To Adam, he said, “I want to go home. Now.”

Why was Noah so upset? Archer supposed he spent more time with Noah and Adam than any of the others. He often crashed at their place or went out to bars with them. Noah was usually the one to take off his shoes or cover him with a blanket if he passed out on their sofa. But he didn’t think it warranted that level of reaction. But what did he know? He had no such feelings on the subject.

Felix and Zane glared at him, but he didn’t think they were mad about his deception so much as they were mad he’d hurt Noah somehow. Archer tried to snag the boy’s arm as he walked past. “Noah…”

But Noah dodged him. Adam body checked him hard enough to knock both him and Mac off-kilter, shoving a finger in his face. “Fuck off, Hannah Montana. Just fucking stay where you are.”

Hannah Montana?

“You’re mad, too?” Archer asked, bewildered.

“Yeah, I’m mad. You just ruined my whole goddamn night. We were going to have sex and then eat chicken wings now he’s going to be a drunken sobbing couch burrito for the rest of the night. He thought you two were close, asshole. You’re lucky I don’t kick your ass for this.”

With that, they were gone, leaving the rest of the family behind staring in silence.

After a minute, Avi snorted, the sound echoing in the quiet. “Hannah Montana. I get it. Good one.”

Christ.